i see curiosity and joy

joy!

a white Christmas morning when my children were little

joy

wonder!

Happiness, joy

chocolate!

pure delight

happiness

contented child

Hope and possibilities

Jewish boy wearing a kipah.

I dread the post-holiday come-down! Having to take down the tree…

stress finding the right presents for folks

the scale after the holidays!

Trying to cram multiple events in one day!

Memories of happier times with my loved one.

Making sure everyone is having a good time

Some of my joys are also some dreads…lol

Joy - time with family! Dread - materialistic focus of all.the.things and gifts given to kiddos from family

worry about illness ruining the family events

Dred: extra financial burden for presents. I love to give gifts but the extra financial strain is extreamly stressful

Joy: Time with family and friends, Christmas music, Christmas decorations, Christmas goodies (cookies, etc). Dread: Expenses of the holidays

missing those that have past and trying to accept the ones that are here i’m not as close to

gingerbread cookie smell!

My 18 month son dying on December 29

joy- togetherness with family and friends, decorating, shopping, all of the smells

dred: last Christmas we all caught covid at the Christmas party so we have concern about all being together this year

I think the joy and dread (though dread is a big strong for me!) are pretty interwoven. I hold the memories grounded in family traditions, but at this time of life, there are no traditions- just gratitude for being here, quietly.

joy:family togetherness, laughter, dread: sadness of recent loss yet speaking of the person

Cute nephews! And - also - feeling overwhelmed by lots of obligations at a time of year I am exhausted.

dread- also shopping and the financial burden it can create. Sometimes getting overwhelmed with keeping up

During the holidays we feel the presence of our loved ones’ absence. ~ Ken Doka

Reorganizing family dynamics during holiday events when loved ones have passed.

we don't have room for a tree so we have a leg lamp from a Christmas story and that serves as our holiday decor

a ear to listen

peace

Space

our quiet presence

presence

Someone asking “how can I help?”

Someone to listen to stories of their family traditions.

Validation and rest

not stuff but just a visit

acknowledgement of the loss

Talking about the person who died

normalize their

space and permission to do what they need

experience

space and acknowledgement; not avoidance of the pain/loss

sense of normalcy

No platitudes!

validation

Some to be present, without giving advice or trying to solve or interpret.

ideas for how to remember/honor their person

Spending time

Empty chair

validation and support. listening ear if needed. not afraid to ask or listen to response

Planting a tree in honor of your loved one.

memory "pillow" of an old shirt

Me and my dad were the only one that liked asparagus, so every time I eat it I think of him!

Making jewelry from your loved ones pieces and re-making them for a child or friend or sibling

My father was well known for his Christmas fudge, going back to 1950. He would make enough for my sister and me to share with our friends and colleagues. Since his passing 25 years ago, we’ve tried to replicate… and are still trying!

Podcast Happiness for No Reason

is the podcast "happiness for no good reason"?

The Science of Wellbeing

The Happiness Lab - Lori Santos

mine does NOT look that good!

Sharing songs or passages from books that remind you of the person

I love to meditate at a small altar for my ancestors and listen to chants and songs.

I love to dance in my kitchen to Feliz Navidad with my children in remembrance of my mother, that song reminds me of her.

When my mother in law passed, all the girls in the family was able to have some of her scarves and jewelry. My granddaughters still show me rings they wear from Grandma seven years later.

A member of my grief group recorded their spouse reading the Night Before Christmas before they passed away so now it is a tradition for the kids and grandkids to read each Christmas

I donate poinsettias for our Church altar in memory of loved ones.

When my dog passed, I wrote a poem about her and placed it in a picture frame with photos of her.

Looking at pictures together.

"How are you today?" It makes a difference to talk about the moment v. a general question.

Asking "how is your grief" acknowledges they are grieving

You probably taught me that!

Thank you everyone for all the thoughtful posts and to the presenters, such a wonderful and insightful zoom.

In our area, some churches have "Blue Christmas" service, which has been very helpful.

Really appreciate the presentation today.

Great ideas! Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you!!

Thank you!

Could these resources be shared via email? Awesome discussion and presentation! Thank you!

THANK YOU!

Do you have any resources for folks that may have complicated grief? Perhaps a person is grieving --- but they had a strained relationship with the person?

Thank you!

Also -- thanks. <#

<3

Thank you so much!

I would also be interested in this too--great question Becca.

Wonderful presentation! Thank you both!

Any extra tips for helping families navigate making compromises about gatherings/traditions etc if people have different needs?

Thanks for sharing with us, Janet. My grandmother may be going on hospice soon... and she has many complicated relationships with folks in my family. I'm anticipating a bit.

Expressive journaling might also be helpful to process difficult conflicting emotions…

 Griefshare.org - There are groups all over the St.Louis area including "Surviving the Holidays" Whatsyourgrief.com - they have a holiday booklet(cheap, maybe $2) that is helpful, and theirwebsite has great articles/resources bjchospice.org/Grief-Support/Community-Grief-Support - free camps, retreats and groups offeredto the community Annieshope.org - free support services to children,teens and families How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed: A Journal forGrief by Megan Devine Useful Handouts on Help for the Holidays and 50Ways to Rememberhttps://www.stlouischildrens.org/sites/legacy/files/pdfs/Helping-yourself-Heal-during-theholiday-Season.pdfhttps://www.stlouischildrens.org/sites/legacy/files/pdfs/50%20Ways%20to%20Remember.pdf

Thank you very much

Thank you!

Thanks!