Recognizing Red Flags: A Free Live Webinar ft. Vienna Pharaon | 6.10.21
- Shared screen with speaker view

21:18
Hi!!

21:28
Hi

21:29
Hi

21:31
hi!

21:31
hi hello!

21:32
Hello from Providence!

21:32
So excited!!

21:32
Hi everyone!

21:32
Hey!!

21:33
hello :)

21:33
Hey fam!

21:35
Hey!

21:35
Hiiiii!! Thank you for doing this!!

21:36
Hello!!

21:36
Hi from Los Angeles!

21:36
Hey!!!

21:36
Hola!

21:37
Hi from San Diego

21:38
Hi everyone!

21:38
Hi everyone!

21:38
Been waiting for this all week!

21:38
hi from Ottawa

21:38
Hello!

21:39
Chao!

21:39
Hi everyone!!

21:39
It's so good to see you both! Missed you Vienna!

21:40
Hi👋

21:40
Hey Everyone!! :)

21:40
Hi from Salt Lake City!

21:40
Happy Thursday!

21:41
Hello

21:41
hi

21:41
Hello!!

21:42
Hey from ontario

21:42
Hi!!

21:42
Hi everyone 😊

21:42
hi!

21:42
Hi from Scotland

21:43
Hello from Santa Cruz, CA!

21:43
Hi from NYC!

21:43
Hi from NJ!

21:43
Looking good guys! Hi from Mount pleasant, Vancouver!

21:44
hi from the uk

21:44
Hi from Washington DC!

21:44
Hi from Toronto!

21:44
Hello

21:44
Hi from Santa Cruz!!!!

21:44
Hi. I’m so excited!

21:45
Hi from NY - this is so exciting!

21:45
Hello from Atlanta!

21:45
hello!!

21:46
Hi everyone!

21:46
👋

21:46
Hi from St. Louis!

21:46
Hello from Fort Worth, TX

21:46
Hey from Toronto

21:46
OMG!! Hiiii!!! 😁

21:46
Hello from India!

21:46
Hello from Calgary ALberta Canada!!!!

21:46
Hi From Vancouver BC :)

21:46
Hiiiii! Excited to see you both team up for this. I follow you both on IG!

21:47
Hi from Stillwater, MN

21:47
Hello!

21:47
Hi!

21:47
hello from Oklahoma

21:48
Hey yall

21:48
hiiiiii

21:48
Hello from San Diego, Cali

21:49
hi from Portugal

21:49
Hi from Vancouver, Canada 💕

21:50
SO EXCITED FOR THIS

21:50
This is my first time using zoom 😂

21:50
hello from CT

21:50
Greetings from Toronto ON Canada

21:51
Hi from Tokyo! ✨

21:51
Cant wait for this talk

21:51
Hi

21:51
Hi, everyone! Excited for this!

21:52
Hi from Camano Island, WA

21:52
Hi from México

21:53
Hi, so glad to be on here

21:53
HI from NYC!

21:53
Hello!!

21:53
Hello from Prague!

21:54
My fav people! My daughters name is Vienna <3

21:54
Hello from Bend, OR

21:54
Hello

21:54
coming in from Alberta, Canada 🇨🇦

21:54
Hello from Victoria BC

21:54
Hi from Amsterdam

21:55
What up from Portland!

21:55
from Miami, FL 😊

21:55
Hi all! Thank you for this event!

21:55
Hello from Santa Cruz, CA! :)

21:55
Hi from Australia!

21:56
Hi From Hawaii!!

21:56
Hi from San Diego!

21:56
Hi from Costa Rica!

21:56
Hello from Seattle

21:56
Heyyyyyy from Covina, CA

21:57
Hi from Colorado :)

21:57
Hello

21:57
Hi from Indiana!!

21:58
Hey from Costa Rica :)

21:58
Hi from Philly!

21:58
Hi! super excited for this!

21:58
Hello from Ontario, Canada!

21:59
Bonjours from Atlantic Canada 🍁

21:59
Hi from Australia!

22:00
Hi from Brazil

22:00
Hi!!!

22:00
hi from LA, big fan here!!!

22:00
Hi from London!

22:01
hello from the Philippines!!

22:03
Hi Vienna and Mark! Love your content

22:03
Hello!! Tammara from Cali!!!

22:03
Hello from New York

22:04
Hi from California

22:04
Hi from Berlin

22:04
Hi guys from South Fla!

22:05
Hello from Philly!

22:05
Whats up from Charlotte, NC

22:06
Hi from Raleigh, NC!

22:06
You’re the best!!

22:06
Late night from Scotland 🏴

22:06
HIII. happy to be here....Vernon Canada :)

22:06
Hi!! From Alberta Canada 🇨🇦

22:06
Hi from NY!

22:07
Kelowna BC! Hello :)

22:08
Hey from Vancouver Canada :)

22:08
Hi from Germany :)

22:08
Stef from Knoxville TN

22:09
Love you guys 💙

22:09
Hi from Regina, SK Canada!

22:09
Hi, hope you’re well. Tina from Essex, England

22:09
Hi from texas :)

22:10
Portland, OR

22:10
Hi from Seattle

22:10
Holla from Northern Colorado!

22:10
Hi from Sydney Australia

22:10
Hello from Torquay Australia 🤙🏼

22:11
Hi from Poland! Already midnight here :D

22:11
Hi from Wisconsin!!

22:11
Lol !!!

22:11
Hi from Agneta, the Swede🇸🇪 in London UK 🇬🇧

22:11
Hello! Ellen from Columbia Mo

22:11
Hi there! So excited for this!!

22:11
Hello from Minnesota

22:11
Hiiiiiiiii. I miss you such much. Happy to see you guys

22:12
Hi from Maryland!

22:12
Hello! Vancouver BC!

22:12
Hello from Calgary Alberta

22:12
Hey from Calgary!

22:13
Hi from the UK

22:13
Hi from Phoenix!

22:13
Love mark!

22:13
Hi from Toronto!

22:13
Hi from San Antonio!

22:13
Greetings from Oklahoma :)

22:13
Hello from Edmonton Alberta Canada!

22:13
Hi everyone, from the UK

22:14
Hi from North Carolina!

22:14
Hi from San Diego!

22:15
So excited for this! hoping there's a replay to take notes.

22:15
Hi from Washington DC!

22:15
Hi from Rhode Island

22:15
Will this be recorded and sent out as a replay?

22:15
Hi from Fenton, MI

22:16
Hi from Costa Rica!

22:16
Hi! From New Jersey !

22:16
Hi from Austin, TX

22:16
Hellooooo

22:16
Hi from South Florida!!

22:16
Hi from PORTUGAL 🇵🇹

22:16
Hello from Austin, TX

22:16
Lol

22:17
HELP GUYS HAHAHA

22:17
Hi from Pittsburgh :)

22:17
Hi from toronto

22:17
hello from ontario!

22:17
Hi Everybody!

22:18
Hi from Sweden!

22:18
Hello from Vancouver BC

22:18
Hello from Amy in Chicago

22:18
Hello from Atlanta!

22:18
Hey from Denver, CO!

22:18
Hi from Dublin Ireland :)

22:18
Hi from Kentucky.

22:18
Hey! from Sunny San Diego :)

22:18
Hi from Dublin Ireland 🤙

22:18
Hi from Florida!!!(:

22:18
Hi from Calgary

22:19
Hi from Portugal!

22:19
Hi from Perth Australia, its early!

22:19
hi from alabama ☻

22:19
Hello from Tucson, AZ!

22:19
Hiii From MB Canada!

22:20
Hi from Seminole land, Orlando Florida

22:20
Hey hey from Sydney!

22:21
Hi from Boston!

22:21
thank you for doing this <3

22:21
Hello from Nova Scotia

22:22
hello 🙂

22:23
Hello from St Pete FL!!

22:23
Hi from WA!!!

22:23
So grateful for this!! 🙏🏻❤️

22:23
Hi from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada!

22:23
Hi from New Orleans!! :)

22:24
Hello from Calgary, Alberta!

22:25
Jazmin from EL Paso, TX

22:25
Hi from Oregon!

22:25
Hi from Byron Bay, Australia

22:25
Hey from Vancouver!

22:25
Hello from Chapel Hill!

22:25
Tara from CT!

22:26
hi from charlotte, nc

22:26
Hi Bryana from NYC!

22:26
Hi from Belmar NJ

22:26
Hello from Chicago! 💛

22:26
Hi from Calgary, AB

22:27
Hi from Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario! :)

22:27
Hello from Metro Detroit!

22:27
Greetings from Ontario Canada! :D

22:28
Hello from Blue Lake, CA :)

22:28
Hi from Kuwait :)

22:28
Joining spontaneously from Red Deer, AB

22:28
Hi from Atlanta

22:28
Hello from Montreal !! 🤩

22:28
San Diego in the house!!!

22:28
Hi from VA

22:28
Hi from North Atlanta.

22:29
Remember to write to Panelists and Attendees!

22:29
Hi from Seattle, WA!

22:29
Hi from Buffalo!!

22:30
Hi from Chicago ! :)

22:30
Hello everyone!!!

22:30
Actually, this is my first time on Zoom. But Hi anyway! From the Netherlands here.

22:30
Heyyy from Spain!!

22:31
Hello from Philadelphia

22:31
Hello

22:31
Hello!!!! from Bend Oregon

22:31
Hiiiii from Massachusetts!!! I’m so excited for this 🥰

22:31
Portland, OR, USA

22:31
Hello from Palm Beach!!

22:32
Hi from New York.

22:32
Hi from Solana Beach, CA!!

22:32
hi from Vancouver, cad

22:32
Hello 👋

22:33
Hi from Seville, Spain!

22:33
hi from Gainesville!

22:33
Hi from Newport Beach 🙂

22:33
Hello from Dallas!!

22:33
Manchester, UK

22:33
Hi from the Bay Area

22:33
Hi ! From PA ! 😘

22:33
Hi from Nevadaaaaaa

22:33
Hello from Toronto! :)

22:34
Hi from California

22:34
Hi from Ottawa, Canada!

22:34
So good to see both of you!!

22:34
Hi from Banff

22:34
Hi from Maple Ridge, BC 👋🏻

22:35
Hello from Tucson, AZ!

22:35
So fun!!

22:35
Hi from Ireland!

22:35
Orange County, CA

22:35
Hiiiiii from Calgary!!

22:35
Hi from Austria

22:36
So pumped! Hello from Saskatoon! 🐞🌿🎶

22:36
Hey! Tuning in from VA :) so excited 😆

22:36
Washington DC says hello!

22:36
Hi from Pittsburgh :)

22:37
fron Argentina

22:37
Vancouver BC

22:37
Hi from Kentucky.

22:38
hello! Jasmine from Vancouver

22:38
Hi from NYC!

22:38
Hellooo from Toronto!!!

22:38
Hey from scotland 🏴

22:39
Hi from Squamish, BC!

22:39
hu! from chicago!

22:39
Hello from Egypt

22:40
Hi from Boston, living in the Bay Area

22:40
Hi from Asbury Park NJ!

22:40
Howdy Ho from Charlotte, NC!

22:40
Kansas city

22:40
Hey from Denver

22:41
Las Vegas!!!!

22:41
Hello from San Diego!!!! :) :)

22:41
Hi all from Squamish BC Canada

22:41
Hello from Michigan!!!

22:41
Vancouver!

22:42
🤗

22:42
Ontario Canada 🇨🇦

22:42
Sydney, Australia

22:42
Hi from Canada!

22:42
Hello from Edmonton-Canada

22:42
Mexico

22:42
Hi from Belgium!

22:42
HI from NYC!

22:42
Hi from sunny Orlando :)

22:42
Hi from Houston!!

22:43
Hello from Montana

22:43
HI FROM West Covina!

22:43
Hi from Germany :-) excited!

22:43
UTAH

22:43
Vietnam!

22:43
Much love from CT

22:43
Charleston SC! Hi!!

22:44
From australiaaaaa

22:44
Hi from Scotland!

22:45
Hi from Cleveland, OH!!!

22:45
LA

22:45
Can barely hear Mark...

22:45
Hello from Germany :)!

22:45
Hi from Uk

22:45
Nashville

22:45
hi from Melbourne Australia

22:45
Prague!

22:45
hi from Ontario canada

22:46
San Diego Calif

22:46
Hi from Chicago!

22:46
Hi! Truckee, CA

22:47
Aloha from Hawaii

22:47
Hello from Banff!

22:47
San Francisco!

22:47
from Qatar

22:47
Amsterdam <3

22:47
Portland, OR

22:48
Austin TX!

22:48
HI From Jersey city!!

22:48
hi from sydney Australia

22:48
Hi!!!! From Tucson, Arizona!

22:48
Hi from Sydney

22:48
Berlin!

22:48
Hi from Vancouver BC!

22:49
Hi from Park City, Utah

22:49
Torontooooooooooo

22:49
Edmonton, AB

22:49
Hi from Nelson, BC!

22:49
Hi from TO!

22:49
Hi from Fort Collins, CO

22:49
Minnesota!

22:49
Hi from Ontario!

22:49
H Town Texas!!!

22:50
Hi from Melbourne

22:50
Hola from Quito, Ecuador!

22:50
San Diego

22:50
Ontario Canada ✨✨✨

22:50
Hi guys! Mark you’re the best!

22:50
Jazmin from EL Paso, TX

22:50
There are red flags globally! :P

22:51
hi from Los Angeles !

22:51
Hi Fi from Australia

22:51
Hey from Philadelphia

22:51
hi from Vancouver, BC.

22:51
Hi from DC!

22:52
PalmBeach

22:52
Hi from Los Angeles!

22:52
Hello i am Khushboo from INDIA

22:52
What’s up y’all! Love from Toronto

22:52
I love your stuff and page, from Ontario Canada 🇨🇦

22:52
Hi from seminole land…Orlando fl

22:52
Calgary!!!

22:53
Miami

22:53
Hi from Trinidad & Tobago

22:53
Ithaca NY

22:53
Hi from Philly

22:53
Hi from New York!

22:53
Dubai 💋

22:54
hi from vancouver bc :)

22:54
Murfreesboro, Arkansas

22:54
Hi from New York

22:54
Hi from South Carolina!

22:54
Hanoi, Vietnam!

22:54
Hi from Liverpool

22:55
London!!!!

22:55
Hello from Texas!

22:55
Hello from Los Angeles!

22:55
UK

22:55
from colombia

22:55
Hello from Miami, FL I've watched all your videos!! 😁

22:55
Metro Detroit, MI

22:55
Austin, TX

22:55
Hi from New Jersey USA

22:55
Hi Mark! Vienna! Hello from West Sussex! So needing this session! ❤️

22:56
hey from sawtell australia

22:56
Hey from Banff

22:56
Prince Edward Island, Canada

22:56
Calgary, AB

22:56
Vancouver!

22:56
: )

22:56
VISTA, CA

22:57
Heeey from Mexico !!!

22:57
Houston, TX 🤗

22:57
Hi from Bay Area, CA!

22:57
Hello from Germany~

22:58
Hi from Los Angeles!

22:58
Hi from Mexico city

22:58
Hi from Singapore!

22:58
Hello from San Luis Obispo California :)

22:58
Hi from NYC

22:58
Hello from Stillwater Minnesota

22:58
India!!

22:59
Hi from Honduras!

22:59
Hi from Evanston IL

22:59
Minnesota

22:59
Hello, Indonesia

22:59
Hi from Seattle!

23:00
Hey from Vancouver Canada!

23:00
Hi From Houston!

23:00
Hi from Vancouver 🇨🇦

23:00
Hello from Toronto, Canada!

23:00
Melbourne too

23:00
Langley, BC, Canada

23:00
Hi from Wisconsin!!

23:00
Hi from Germany, late at night!

23:01
San Diego, CA

23:01
Vancouver BC!

23:01
Hello 👋 👋

23:01
Netherlands

23:01
NYC is the house

23:01
Sydney australia

23:01
Hi from Adelaide, Australia 🤗

23:01
Johannesburg

23:01
Hi from the United Arab Emirates!

23:02
Mexico

23:02
hi from Buffalo NY

23:02
Hi from Wales!

23:02
Hi from Belgium :)

23:03
Daphne AL here

23:03
Enhland

23:03
HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN REGISTER FOR THIS THING?

23:03
Bay Area CA

23:03
BARCELONAAAAAAA

23:03
Hi from Ontario Canada!!

23:03
HI from NYC

23:04
Natalie !! Are you here?? Lol

23:04
New Jersey!

23:04
Edinburgh Scotland !!

23:04
Hi from Chicago!

23:04
Hi from Melbourne!!

23:04
arizona

23:04
Washington, DC

23:04
Hi from Bahrain!

23:04
Miami FL!!

23:05
Hi from Miami!

23:05
Toorontooooooooo

23:05
Hi from Brooklyn, NY

23:05
thank u for making this webinar

23:05
Hi! San Diego!!

23:05
Gran canaria

23:06
Northern Ireland

23:06
Hi from Mammoth Lakes, CA!

23:06
From Boston. Love what you do!

23:07
Florida here 😁

23:07
Boston!

23:07
Hi! from Houston,tx

23:08
New Zealand xx

23:08
Hello from Maple Ridge!! lol

23:08
Hi from Barrie, Ontario, Canada🇨🇦

23:09
hii from beirutt

23:09
San Jose, CA

23:10
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST ❤️ From Beautiful British Columbia!

23:10
Dallas

23:11
Sydney 🇦🇺

23:11
Jen from Asheville NC

23:11
lets do this!! :) Alecia from Nebraska !

23:12
hi Kelowna BC Canada

23:12
Boston!

23:12
Hi from Connecticut

23:13
Hi I am from Philly

23:13
hello, from Montana

23:13
Hi from the uk

23:13
Hi From. Roseville, CA

23:13
Vienna can you get the mic closer its hard to hear you?

23:13
Hello. here from Quebec city

23:13
England!

23:13
Phoenix, Arizona!

23:14
Netherlands 👋👋👋👋👋

23:14
CALIFORNIA

23:15
Hello from DC!

23:15
Hi :)

23:16
Hi from Cranbrook, BC

23:16
Hi from Vancouver!

23:16
BOOGEY DOWN BRONX!

23:17
meow

23:17
Jena from Santa Cruz California!

23:17
So excited & grateful to be here with you!

23:18
Hi from Singapore! Much loveee

23:18
Hervey Bay QLD Australia

23:19
Hi from Ottawa

23:19
Hi from Australia 🇦🇺

23:19
Christine from St Albert, Alberta

23:21
hi from San Diego!

23:21
Hi from Finland 🙂

23:23
Congratulations Vienna !!!

23:23
Congrats!!!!!

23:24
Hiiii from North Saanich...other side of the pond!!

23:24
Hi from Toronto! <3

23:25
hello from canada

23:26
Hi from London UK

23:26
Caroline from NY!

23:26
Chicago

23:27
Hey from Ireland

23:27
MONTREAL represent !! Looking forward to the summer and dating 😎🙂

23:28
Hello from Southern California

23:29
Hi from White Rock BC

23:29
Absolutely

23:30
Saying hi from Dubai, UAE (:

23:31
So red flags are global apparently 🤣

23:32
You're a little quiet, can't hear her well, at least on my device or end

23:33
Vienna you look amazing & glowing

23:33
Congratulations!

23:33
Hello from NJ

23:35
Hello from Toronto!

23:35
hello from Calgary, AB

23:39
Hi from Byron Bay, Australia ! :)

23:41
Prince Edward Island, Canada 🇨🇦

23:43
Mark is glowinggg

23:47
2 of my favorites!! great to see you both

23:48
Hi from Ontario, Canada

23:49
Hi from Ireland.🇨🇮 late night learning 😂

23:49
Hi from BC Canada!

23:50
Love you two together!!

23:51
san diego in the house

23:56
Red flags awareness night 🙌🙌

23:56
i love you Mark , thank yoy for everything

24:00
Best ever!!

24:01
Hello from Southern California

24:02
Hello! From Utah

24:04
@Susan global red flags 😄😆😄👍

24:09
Reminisce

24:14
Vancouver now in Georgia USA!

24:18
Coffee and dating chats to start the day :)

24:19
Yaaaas

24:19
Hello from Scituate MA! Brenda here…

24:19
Love both of your instagrams!! love from new haven ct :)

24:20
Hello everyone! out here in Seattle

24:21
Hello!! From Philly, PA

24:24
Hi from Singapore ☺️🇸🇬 6am now

24:27
Hello from Cali

24:27
Hi from Madeira 🇵🇹

24:30
Hello from Costa Rica!

24:34
I love the meme of Bob Ross where it says “busy turning red flags into pretty little trees” lol - so accurate

24:36
Hello from Ireland

24:41
Ace ! Hello from England, UK .

24:45
Hi from St. Louis!

24:47
Hi from Venice, CA!

24:49
Hello from New Hampshire

24:54
Hello from Atlanta!

24:54
Hi from Mexico City!!

24:57
hello from london

25:00
can barely her you Vienna

25:01
Hi from Midland, ON

25:03
Turn up Vienna’s mic please

25:11
YES

25:12
yesss

25:12
Yeahhssss

25:13
YES!!!

25:13
yes

25:14
Much better

25:15
Austin, TX

25:15
Hi from Utah, USA

25:16
NO MARK - we just want to talk to you! ; )

25:16
Johannesburg

25:17
Hello from Pittsburgh PA

25:17
Much better

25:18
🤩

25:18
Check check

25:18
much better

25:19
Yes

25:19
Dubai, UAE 🇦🇪

25:20
yes!

25:20
Hi from england

25:21
Yes

25:21
Hi from Atlanta

25:22
I hope you answer- What to do with red flags!!!

25:22
COVID is making connections harder I feel 🤦♀️ people are not available emotionally I feel…

25:22
Hola!

25:23
Eeeeeeeee

25:24
Got it! Brenda is here from Scituate MA

25:25
Hi from DC!

25:26
Yes

25:27
Ontario Canada

25:27
Hey hey!

25:28
heeeellooo everyone

25:28
Hi from Alberta Canada 🇨🇦

25:29
so ready!

25:33
Yes

25:34
Hi from California!

25:34
Hi from late night Ireland 🇨🇮

25:34
Hola from SF!

25:34
Hello from D.C.

25:35
Hi from Chapel Hill, NC

25:40
Hi from HTX!

25:41
Hey from the UK!

25:41
hello from Israel!

25:43
Hola from Arizona!

25:46
hi, from BC, Canada

25:54
Hi from Portland, Oregon

25:54
How’d you get a page outta my journal, though

25:56
Hello from London 🇬🇧

25:57
Hi from Aus

25:57
HI Sonia Leigh Nashville TN

25:58
lol

25:58
This one happens A LOT when online dating. It brings out the anxious/avoidant dance

25:59
Hello everyone! I'm in Calgary, Alberta

26:02
Anxious…key word there

26:05
Vienna you look soooo beautiful !

26:06
This happens to me all the time!

26:11
great

26:11
Hi from New Westminster, BC!

26:24
Nice new digs Mark.

26:25
hi, from BC, Canada

26:25
Missssssss YOUUUU @Vienna!

26:32
Hi from Melbourne Australia

26:34
Always want what we can’t have

26:35
ThisThreeCome60#

26:50
push pull … classic

26:50
Can we please have access to this after it is over? At work 😭

26:52
Why can't people jut say "im no longer interested...." fuck

27:00
anxious attachment style!!!

27:04
I think someone being distant feels different when it comes AFTER they are intensely in contact, and even being the initiator of that contact, at the beginning...for the first few weeks or even first few months...

27:05
can't it be seen as a helpful filter? Why be with someone who doesn't reciprocate?

27:07
Vienna you’re quite soft

27:08
You are really giving information…wow

27:09
anxious attachment style!

27:09
@Jordan - Right?!

27:14
Jordan exactly..lmao smh...

27:19
hello from the Philippines!!

27:20
I’m activated just by you talking about this 😱🤣

27:24
I cannot hear either of you.

27:30
Jordan exactly..lmao

27:47
yaaaas #guiltyaf

27:49
Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want

27:51
Control, interesting....

27:55
I just started on a dating site, so this is very helpful!

27:58
Also guilt AF

28:06
how do you learn to move on? I have a tendency to hold on. Right now I feel as though I still am interested in this person and want to try again so I don’t regret. Or is it best to let them go since things did end amicably

28:09
Why is it so hard redo a toxic pattern/cycle within a relationship? It seems easier to just restart with a new person entirely? How should we know it is best to just let go the existing relationship that is no longer healthy or to continue to work on it?

28:17
lol sometimes I turn my phone off if I recognize I’m in this space. It’s helpful!

28:24
Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want

28:27
How long do you wait to have the what are you after convo? I feel it should be straightforward. But some guys are like this takes time. I’m dating someone who doesn’t want marriage. I’m not in that space either. But I want exclusivity. He’s giving that. He shows up is consistent. He can not promise he will stay exclusive. What does that even mean?

28:28
Ohh like I can’t manage my own distress, so they have to manage it for me (by replying within my specified window of time)

28:32
What if the person used to txt within minutes now the response is the day after your txt?

28:44
I like that. <3

28:45
Hi from Brazil

28:46
Hayley, I’m the same way

28:47
As difficult as it can be, let that shit gooo... cause ya givin yourself hell by worrying about it

28:58
Love the phrase i'm curious

28:58
@gina YUP

29:04
what if they say they are busier with work?

29:06
this is relative to being in a relationship right, not when you're first talking/meeting someone (Date 0 or from Online Dating)

29:06
I stopped asking and just move along...

29:09
yea and what if they just pretend to be forgetful repeatedly even though they know how you feel about it

29:14
How do you know when its anxiety vs having a standard?

29:18
Love that suggestion for texting.

29:24
Not busy at all for sure

29:25
MaryBeth that “busy with work” stuff is usually an excuse

29:27
Lol

29:30
@megan interesting question

29:30
I find that whatsapping or texting is a big downfall for me . Need to actually talk more

29:31
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

29:31
Is taking space always a negative?

29:31
I make myself more anxious worrying about that shit

29:33
so if they are feeling like they need to slow down, how do you not get hurt when you aren’t wanting to slow down

29:46
yesterday my therapist said exactly the same thing that you've said the past 2 mins 👌

29:47
How is this talk red flag material??

29:47
Ex and I ended with a fully operative pursuer distancer dance going. He'd distance. I'd distance and attempt breakup (there were other fundamental issues, we were already considering breakup), and then he'd pursue and try to redirect away from breakup. I'd be open to it and then he'd put breakup back on the table and distance. This repeated 2-3 times before I finally called it.

29:54
But the expectation is I respond to him right away

29:54
What if that does not bother us - do we still have to address it? Usually it's both ways when the conversation dies down.

30:00
Exactly! I’m wondering/feeling the same thing @averywilliams

30:02
How to understand what was going on with him?

30:04
Bcoz he says he knws I’m always on my phone

30:06
you're not too busy to respond within 24 hours, if they are interested.. let them go

30:23
YUP

30:25
Thanks!

30:27
so true!!

30:28
I learned that if they don't want to pursue you..as much as I wanted him and liked him I like myself more and had to leave him alone and stop trying..I believe there is someone out there that will love me as much as I know how to love..he just wasn't the one as much as I wanted him to be..

30:31
How DO you learn how to hold it?

30:33
“Learning how to hold this” let’s put that on a post it!

30:38
I like that. “Would I send this if I loved myself?”

30:51
Love that Mark! “That’s the adulting”

30:57
That’s amazing

31:05
take your mind off of it, doing something else that focuses on yourself instead

31:06
I started doing the post it thing

31:07
great, but dating an avoider will usually reply with an excuse (im was busy etc) .. its trying to always be the one starting conversation.. or texts.. and if we don’t text they don’t text ..its as though we are the ones always expected to text.

31:12
I’m Brooke, by the way!😊

31:13
are we allowed to ask questions in this webinar or questions are pre-defined?

31:13
YES

31:15
people lie tho

31:15
I can hardly hear you and my volume is up all the way.

31:24
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

31:27
What if the text you sent was a very vulnerable invitation that is ignored?

31:28
Vienna can you please talk closer to the microphone.

31:31
@Bella yes with the excuses!

31:32
If you don't know yourself, then boom....we will be at the mercy of others wanting us. Ugh! Walking away from the wrong person means we are stuck with ourselves. Not sure I want to be in either situation.

31:39
Audio is low

31:47
What do you do if the person doesn't acknowledge their behavior (disengaged, not making as much of an effort)?

32:04
Amen

32:04
I have a question regarding the covid vaccine. Myself and every friend/family member I have is getting the vaccine. My new partner (we have been together 4 months and things are great!) refuses to get the covid vaccine. Now I have friends not wanting to spend time with me (and him) due to him not being vaccinated. Is this a red flag? It's a confusing issue! Thank you <3

32:05
question: how do these advices apply to dating a man who is Asperger !?

32:07
Amen!! <3

32:10
Agree !!

32:19
I put that out there and I got “I’m just bad at communicating, I’ll work on it”. And then they don’t.

32:29
Hola Natalie!! Its Maleeha ! Are you here???

32:36
Better to have the hard conversations earlier on vs 1-5 years later! Oh how I ignored all the red flags!!!

32:37
What about the opposite side, noticing them leaning in more after periods of space, should that be acknowledged in the same way or just let it be?

32:44
Do you mind repeating that statement?

32:46
It sounds so simple and it actually is, yet we struggle so much with proper communication

32:50
You crushed it

32:50
haha totally crushed it!

32:52
Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending!

33:02
Sooo good!!!!

33:10
oof

33:12
Question: If you and your date had amazing chemistry and compatibility and the first date lasted 5 hrs of laughter and talking entire night followed by him wanting to come see him at work the next day bc we couldn't get enough..then he sends a long text a day after 2 amazing days of seeing one another that he really started started like me but not emotionally available and he ran..what happened?

33:18
finding that compatibility is so important and quite frankly a gift. I have this with my current guy. After 8 years of friendship, our communication is top notch

33:21
So important to have clear communication. When I feel anxious, I use that as a guide that I am not in alignment and need to gain clarity

33:21
Bring it !

33:22
what did you say again for what to write/ask when you first notice them texting less?

33:23
is the lack of preparing for the future for someone who is 38 a red flag? i.e. no savings, no 401k, no credit. (background: relationship of 1 year, brought up my worries, no action was made).

33:28
These two know their stuff, gotta listen.

33:31
Good question!

33:33
Good question!

33:52
Can you mention those who have just narcissitic tendencies as well? Not everyone has a full blown disorder :)

34:14
I had a guy sending me valentine cards after 2 weeks "to the love of my life"....haha

34:16
I needed the red flag "love bombing" 2 years ago with an ex.. I knew it was off, but still went for it not thinking it was that BIG of a flag, oof was I wrong

34:19
Why do they do it?

34:34
YES to Tracey’s question! The tendencies (but not the full disorder)

34:39
They get found out over time.

34:41
“you are my soulmate"

34:43
yes! experienced this and would not like to repeat it

34:51
With Tracey's question!

34:56
rapid escalation and love you-- yes!!! then two months later.... sorry Charlie, I am emotionally unavailable--- my ex ruined me--- etc

34:59
my last guy sand "Disney" songs and sent them to me weekly, then sand "bad things" to me..... it was intense quickly. then he pulled away.....

35:03
What if there want to see you every day but don’t have the lavish portion in material gifts?

35:08
Is dating someone for 3.5 years who doesnt really talk about marriage a red flag when you are both divorced an in your 40's? He was burned by his divorce 10 yrs ago. He says he's committed and wants a life with me but isn't sure about marriage again. But, marriage is important to me. How long to you wait without wasting time?

35:09
It becomes very intoxicating at the time...

35:09
If you are dating with a guy who is always busy but he said he is making a “big effort” to see you. Could I considerar that a red flag??

35:15
*sang...

35:17
It’s so strange to me that as I’ve grown and started working on healthier behavior patterns, love bombing isn’t even attractive to me anymore. It’s... too much, too soon. It makes me feel uncomfortable instead of flattered anymore.

35:17
I fell for a narcissist, he cheated and i got pregnant, left me for the other women and hes been so horrible towards me. Wish I could walk away from it all

35:17
I have definitely been falling for those love bombs for a good few years !!!! Gahh.

35:19
question: what do you do when youre seeing someone, things are going really good and progressing. his parent is ill and may pass away. he has identified he is not ready for too much commitment because what hes going through and asks for patience before he can get serious.. what do I do?

35:24
I had one take me to meet his family in weeks. He had another gf and they knew about it!

35:33
oh me too!

35:36
are narcissists aware of their tendencies??

35:39
Can you talk about trauma bonds?

35:45
Question: I've been sending txt messages as words of affirmations to loved friends for 7 days, I have also recently been sending to my ex. Everyone really appreciates them but my ex asked "What do I hope to gain from it?" I replied that I am coming from a place of open-heartedness and don't expect engagement and wish to give empowerment through my words. After sleeping on it, I am questioning myself if I unconsciously do want something from it... How can I become discerning on this?

35:45
I was in a relationship just like that, love word within two weeks, huge presents and trips and surprises to take away from the problems we didn’t ever deal with and now being I’m a new relationship, I find it hard not to think that those big things mean love. Like I feel like I have to go all out to show this new person I care and love him

35:48
Dude talked about moving to Florida before we even went out, talked about it on the first date, then never mentioned it again and basically became avoidant. Insisted the date was great, still wanted to “connect” with me, and confused the shit out of me.

36:03
is needing to see me everyday or gets moody and shots me out for saying not tonight, a red flag??

36:05
Dating in mid 40s, is it fair to see potential suitors that are separated or never married as red flags, rather than being divorced or widowed? I think there are some circumstances that make it okay, but how to decipher if it’s someone who has commitment phobia or doesn’t clean up old things before moving on?

36:07
Hi from Atlanta

36:08
When you and Kylie separated, was there any thought of getting back together? What helped you separate and cope through that and did you still hold her and that potential of being with her in your heart? I've recently went through a break up and your story resonates with me so much, would love to hear more on it.

36:13
What is a ”twin flame”?

36:25
such a good point and indicator

36:27
I’m in a relationship for a year

36:31
so true!

36:33
I noticed that I tend to ghost people when the conversation gets difficult. How do I break this pattern and also fix this with people I did this to in the past :)

36:35
Not all resonates with My experience but I found if something big happened then my ex would say - I want to take you out, you deserve it etc

36:36
There’s so much manipulation going on, you’ve gotta pay attention

36:36
👌

36:37
Oooo..... yes that's absolutely so true! That took me years to realize

36:37
boyfriend could write for hallmark . He was that good and all the red flags melted away..HAHA

36:39
I was dating someone for almost a year. During that time, I fell head over heels in love with her and I thought she felt the same way. About 6 months in, we has some issues come up.

36:41
@alex listen to his podcast, they discuss it

36:41
Vienna keep cutting out...

36:42
That’s self abandonment

36:43
doesnt this happen with certain attachment styles?

36:45
I’ve often felt like I don’t even get attracted to people until they show interest towards me first (and often it’s the love bombing kind…)

36:47
I was seeing someone and things have since ended. He initiated being in a committed relationship and a month later changed his mind about the relationship. However, he still wanted to hang out with me and we spent a lot of time together. Finally, things fizzled and we saw each other less and less and it’s now been about a month since we’ve hung out or spoke. Lately he’s been trying to reach out and I ended up speaking to him again this week. Should I continue to engage with him?

36:53
How do you heal from codependency

36:54
It seems like it can take a touch longer. took a few weeks and then he was calling all his friends saying he had this amazing new girlfriend. we had never even had a convo!

36:58
Alex, they recorded two podcasts about it which cover it all

37:01
Not for me

37:02
Not for me

37:02
you’re good!

37:02
Not for me

37:02
not for me either

37:02
All good

37:03
Not cutting out

37:03
You’re ok

37:03
No issues for me.

37:03
all good

37:03
Clear for me

37:04
not for me

37:04
Not for me

37:05
not here

37:05
You should good 👍🏽

37:05
Not cutting out for me

37:05
youre good

37:05
You’re good!

37:05
Sounds good V

37:06
You’re good

37:06
It's all good here

37:07
Looks good!

37:07
You sound great

37:07
All good

37:07
I can hear you fine

37:07
you good!

37:09
I hear you! :)

37:09
Not for me

37:10
not here

37:10
Not for me..

37:11
thank you guys

37:11
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

37:12
You’re good

37:12
I have no visual or audio issues.

37:13
I can hear you great

37:13
You’re good

37:14
I can hear ya no prob

37:14
It's good!

37:15
Can we talk about ghosting… I got ghosted after a two month really intense relationship, 2 months later I am still not over it :(

37:15
YOU'RE GOOD

37:18
Not for me in iteland

37:19
Why does someone love bomb?

37:19
Will you speak to the subtle expressions of this? Narcissistic TRAITS, but not the full disorder

37:23
two episodes*

37:25
not cutting out for me

37:26
RE: Red Flags….Can we cover thoughts on if one person feels it’s moving too fast (because of invitations to go to weddings, meet parents, go on trips) but still wants to see where relationship goes? When is this a boundary versus a red flag?

37:29
Trauma bonds please. Husband of 15 yrs acting like a narcissist- can someone become one or is it more midlife crisis? I have stayed for kids but can no longer. How to heal trauma bond tips

37:36
Question: Can you outline more green flags? I want to escape this idea that I have to try to make something work.

37:37
Its desperation, on reflection....

37:44
What if I feel like I am the Red Flag? 30 yo LGBT male. Never been in (or tried for) a relationship. Had a lot of childhood traumas to heal from first.

37:45
Desperation to be liked....

37:50
they don't like that though

37:59
your good Vienna!😊

38:00
is it a relationship red flag that i’m watching this right now?

38:07
This has just happened to me exactly as you say. And then he turned abusive and I’ve just got out. Thank you for highlighting

38:17
@Brandon, I feel that. I have definitely been a red flag in the past and am afraid of being one again

38:20
Mark~ you re a BABE…just sayin

38:20
I was dating a guy for three weeks. We had the conversation, he said he want to be exclusive, made plans, said he was all in, feelings growing. I told him someone broke up with me by message and he said that was horrible. Three weeks later we were intimate and he ghosted me after. I can’t believe I felt in this trap. It is so disheartening

38:24
P - moodiness and being mad at you for not being able to spend one day with them is definitely a red flag for narcissism

38:25
healthy?

38:33
Time

38:36
Kendee - agreed haha

38:37
How do you ask someone to slow down?

38:43
Time

38:56
@tanishka I’m with you it’s so hard to know

39:00
I think it would be great to have those open conversations. Creating a safe space to explore these thoughts.

39:04
Karina..like this..hey let's take it little slow..haha

39:09
Create a relationship with your intuition

39:10
I find partner is “gungho” then retreat and lose interest

39:14
Thank you 🙏🏻

39:15
Thank you for the additional thoughts

39:19
As soon as you mention security, they run, or think you're gold digging and then ghosted

39:22
But that's a healthy boundary

39:25
@shari I feel that

39:33
I hear the word narcissist a lot around. I feel that it might be misused. People can it so easily. What defines a narcissist?

39:38
What about the mislabelling of Love bombing…what if you show love be actually being of service to your partner.

39:38
I guess narcissist don't like health boundaries lol

39:40
I dodged a bullet recently with someone like this... phew

39:43
How do you know its someone's acting off or its codependency kicking in

39:45
Spot on Mark

39:48
but some are covert narcissists...?

39:50
what is a narcissist?

39:50
how about if someone is codependent?

39:52
Yes it's so crazy to recover from the narcissistic relationship and now I feel avoidant

39:53
I left someone like this and thankful I did

39:54
14 years....never again

40:01
When you don’t spend any time apart, there’s no room for desire and attraction to grow!

40:07
Thanks @meghan!

40:10
So narcissistic person can’t do intimacy?

40:13
People always seem to be looking for the next best thing

40:13
well said @gina

40:14
Melody Battle has a classic/great book on co-dep

40:14
spent 21 years with one

40:14
yes and triangulation

40:15
Textbook description of my last relationship 🤦♀️ which is listened to this before

40:16
They even borderline gaslit me which triggered me

40:16
i have always thought there is a thin line between codependent and narcissist

40:17
What about narcissistic traits on a spectrum?

40:21
what is the difference between codependency and narcissism

40:22
Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending! I didn’t realize I had it set to just all panelists haha

40:24
Narcissistic personality disorder is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. They follow the same text book. GET OUT.

40:29
i never saw that as love bombing .. i just wanted to spend time with him cus i loved him

40:29
🤦🏻♀️

40:30
Apologies, I joined late. Will the recording be available later?

40:40
Met someone a couple years ago and the 2 months I was with him was 2 months TOO long. Dodged a bullet and I do believe he has a narcissistic personality

40:46
lol my narcissist was definitely anxious attachment style not avoidant. avoidant would just push you away

41:01
trauma bonding is real

41:03
What’s wounding?

41:11
Those with low self esteem, are hooked by the love bombing stage... I was

41:16
i slowed down when asked and he stayed impersonal from then on, like i was in his daily communication it it felt intellectual, antecdotal and no longer emotional or intimate.

41:19
💯 @sasha

41:23
what is trauma bonding?

41:29
I’m attracted to red flags

41:33
great topic guys

41:33
I was just discarded after telling the person I needed to take things slow.Blocked . 😢 it stung but over it .

41:36
How do you be in a new relationship after being in one that was super hot and heavy and loved bombed and narcissistic. My first relationship was super controlling and again, the big surprises and presents that were distracting me from the issues, and now I feel like in my new relationship I think that those big things are what love is

41:38
what is trauma bonding?

41:42
it was so fucking excruciating. the intensity was mutual for many weeks before this.

41:54
what if the narcissit takes slow in the beginning but looks at other women for attention. He set all the right boundaries and I wanted to see him all the time, so does that mean I am the narcissist? BC I wanted to spend time with him

41:54
I’m attracted to red flags, I’ve never thought of it as trauma bonding?

42:03
Should I begin dating even though I'm not over my previous relationship?

42:05
Chemistry vs Trauma Bonding?

42:10
I just set a boundary/broke a pattern for the first time w/ a guy from online dating I was "drawn to" that in the past I would've likely ended up being intimate with but then regretting after. These sessions/videos really DO help clarify your past actions/from wounding, etc. <3

42:13
Here for Hannah's question

42:28
My relationship with my dad… ya

42:29
3 months in he was all in, he gave the green lights. He says he developed feelings and then suddenly bolted saying not ready for a relationship

42:34
attraction to emotional unavailability vs trauma bonding

42:37
I’m struggling dealing with not understanding how someone can’t fall in love. I have been dating for 6 months and my partner have to move to another country in 3 months and he decided to end the relationship now . Telling me he can’t get In love because of the trip and don’t want a long distance relationship. It’s difficult to me to be ok with his decision. I understand why he did it but my emotional part doesn’t gets it, wants to be with him no matter what. Any advice please?

42:39
Hahaha aww no so good to see you made it NAT! Yesss I’ll hop on insta later tonight.

42:41
Yay @Stace! Good job breaking that pattern. Powerful stuff

42:50
So Wounding is Repetition Compulsion?

42:53
Thanks @Megan M

43:00
Yay can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss haha

43:02
YESSSS @Stace!!! I have done this recently as well. It’s so empowering and healing

43:16
Trust your emotions

43:16
Yesss can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss!

43:21
Same here Stace!!

43:23
Thanks @Katie, it felt so good to send him the "I think we'r elooking for different things" message <3

43:42
Great job @Tanishka

43:44
wow

43:45
Listen to your emotions

43:55
How do you know if someone who is emotionally unavailable is starting to change? Do you stick around or automatically run?

44:04
Oh just had a lightbulb moment on that one about someone choosing work over time with me. Wow!

44:06
Is it inherently bad that they may be a diligent worker if you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic?

44:08
@Nicole I’m no expert but I’d say it’s not necessarily repetition compulsion but more so showing you where you may have a wound that needs healing.

44:08
So true

44:09
but how do you change what you’re attracted to?

44:14
Thank you 🙏🏻 this is so great! ❤️

44:14
ouch! I always pick the ones who tell me their priorities are kids/work

44:18
Our body also feels different between the two as well…

44:20
huge light bulb moment 🙏

44:21
How do we heal these wounds. to avoid recreating them

44:25
I thought we are drawn to partners who mirror our wounds, so we can heal them in love, is that trauma bonding?

44:27
Yessss love this explanation of wounds

44:27
Is trauma bonding always bad? I had a workaholic father who was unavailable and I ended up dating someone who was also a workaholic. But the relationship was great. Is it always bad?

44:34
This is so valuable - thank you

44:34
How can I “re-wire” my thoughts/actions to not go down the path of chasing after red flag people?

44:38
So then how do you heal it? by communicating?

44:40
does anyone have long distance relationship advice

44:43
so trickey!

44:43
and ironically, sometimes we are attracted to the total opposite of our wounds bcause we dont want to re create that

44:43
how do you unlearn these patterns you've grown up? when these unhealthy attachments are all you have ever known?

44:44
/red flags in LDRs

44:53
VALID!

44:55
:)

44:56
Can those relationships work if both open to healing?

44:56
Can you revisit that trauma bond and activation principle?

45:02
a huge part of healing the wounds is being/become aware of them and their impact on how you act/patterns it creates for you in realtionship <3

45:02
If you aren’t attracted to people who are good for you, and you stop moving toward the people you ARE drawn to…are you just basically stuck being alone if you want to be healthy?

45:08
Maybe we just need to slow down…why rush into anything?!

45:19
How do we learn to let gooo, when we feel in love and like we need to fix the relationship ?!

45:21
so what do you mean when we have to be triggered to heal?

45:24
The trauma bonds feel so strong whereas "sensibly" chosen relationships feel a bit *blah*. It's hard to choose differently.

45:40
I’m with you, Amanda!

45:50
Jihari

45:53
YES what Jenni said - this is what makes me feel kind of sad for the future

45:55
i love that

46:01
Olivia I do! I've had a 7 yrs long distance relationship and we ended up being together a total of 14 yrs married him and had 3 children..we're no longer together. you can message me at ndavila15 on IG

46:06
Definitely, thanks for that!

46:11
No, that was good!

46:15
understanding each other triggers

46:17
thank you, nikki!

46:18
Is it possible to even attract healthy people when you know that you have such deep entrenched issues. I feel like it detracts healthy people. I mean, I am actively dealing with myself, but it's going to be a lot of slow moving and potential triggering.

46:20
@Amanda and @Hannah You can find someone that you’re attracted to and is good for you:) It’s a lot about stepping into your worth and owning it.

46:21
Triggering your child hood wounds is a blessing if you take the time to look within and heal it

46:30
Do you want all the questions now? Or hold onto it until the end?

46:32
@amanda no, you can work through it and become aware of why you are attracted to those people in the first place, heal the wounds then you will be ready to meet people that are a good match / healthy for you

46:34
i scared off a new date because i brought up my trigger too soon

46:38
He didn’t introduced to family or friends after 8 months

46:40
Is being unattracted to healthy people similar to being fearful avoidant? Like we fear secure connection thus why we chase unavailability or red flags

46:41
*I am breaking the pattern now and I am MARRIED. *Do you think the marriage can survive when you break thru? I did trauma bonding with my man and he did with me too I feel

46:53
An invitation for change

46:54
It’s all in contrast, you need something opposite to bring it out and it’s not necessarily bad, it just shines a light on to what it is that makes us different.

46:55
Maya, we’ve all been there! You just won back time :)

47:00
I’m scared to give my heart away again

47:01
I avoid relationships and am genuinely not that interested in even dating.

47:02
My ex used to always be triggered by anything I said or did and I would have no clue why he would go off but now I believe it was to do with his avoidant attachment style and projecting on to me

47:03
scared off? or saved time :) @Maya

47:04
how do you know when the relationship is safe?

47:06
you're welcome 🙂

47:06
I think a covert narcissist comes in differently then the other types. Mine was a victim, seemed almost too vulnerable. He was intense and I felt off, but eventually convinced myself I didn’t know what it was like to be so loved. As time went on, he was passive aggressively controlling. It wasn’t until I had to make big changes in my life that would affect him, did I see the rage of his control, the victimization and gaslighting, over and over again. when you tell someone you have to step away and take care of yourself and they annihilated you with everything you shared in your vulnerability. It messes with your mind.

47:12
I completely stopped dating and learned about myself

47:12
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

47:14
@Maya Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly really helped me with doing that type of thing!

47:17
how soon do you bring up triggers in dating?

47:21
How do you find those safe relationships in order to heal? I keep ending up in situationships that trigger me but they never turn into relationships

47:27
So helpful!

47:29
How do you stay optimistic and try to give people a chance while also being cautious and alert on red flags/past patterns?

47:33
I date myself and have become super protective of me.

47:38
Same @ Leslie

47:43
@Sho me too!!

47:44
I had the same experience with you Kim

47:47
@kim crane exact experience here…and see that pattern myself…drawn to people who paint themselves as victims…

48:01
Being activated in a safe relationship...so helpful!

48:01
Can a narcissist change? And how do you get them to change?

48:03
Are they aware of their actions as they're doing this?

48:08
its me that's controlling

48:20
That’s an amazing concept ...if we need touch the wound (triggered) how can we heal or change the outcome

48:27
Never*

48:33
analogy I thought of and like: trauma is that box in the creepy basement you either dont know is there or you know its there and wont open. trigger is when that box ends up in the hallway

48:56
when you depart from spending time from a narcissist you are depleted. if its chemistry, you get energy.

48:58
is it narcissist if I express my feelings but instead of being understanding or validating, they become defensive to "assure" you that their actions did not come with mal intent

49:00
question: had an amazing, mind blowing first date with a guy where we laughed for hours and undeniable compatibility and chemistry. 2 days later he texts me a long text saying he thought he was ready for something real and he's not blah blah blah and that he never met someone so amazing blah blah blah and that he's not emotionally available. why did he run if the chemistry was amazing?

49:16
How do you keep yourself openhearted and willing to “dive in” with a new person while maintaining enough distance to see the red flags? I want to give a new date the benefit of the doubt but sometimes that prevents me from seeing those possible flags early on…

49:18
Once you're good at not moving forward with someone when its more coming from trauma bonding - how do you then become attracted to people who are better for you? Because you still want to be excited about the connection and what if that "chemistry" feeling only comes from the trauma bonding?

49:18
Standards for relationship different from standards for casual? Are there ever red flags for relationship that aren't red flags for casual?

49:20
no sex just 5 hrs of talking and laughing over drinks and dinner..

49:28
I’m fearful avoidant and can’t get close to anybody whether they’re healthy or unhealthy lol. I guess my initial trigger is closeness to ANYBODY that I need to overcome

49:31
I seem to ask where we are in a relationship too often

49:41
Lol

49:45
@ Nilli I relate to that

49:46
Nikki same thing happened to me

49:52
SAME

49:52
Nikki, all him, nothing to do with you!

49:55
@Nikki sorry

49:56
Lmao the voice

49:59
@Dan, so recognizable haha me too!

50:00
Dan can you message me on IG later so I can pick your brain?

50:01
Ah same same

50:05
Amen.. question 3 is soooooo me!!

50:05
Yes! same here

50:07
Nikki he prob has still stuff to integrate and recognized thru feelings of intimidation.

50:10
Wow! This question! Aaargh!

50:13
………did I write this and get amnesia?????

50:14
MMMHMM!!!

50:17
OMG yaassss this question is so relevant to me

50:17
Thafs exactlyMy story too

50:18
This question!!!!

50:20
Yes, tell us more!!

50:21
That’s me

50:21
And if they say yes they enjoy it but no rush for relationship that’s not a red flag, that’s not unavailability? That’s just no rush

50:22
preach

50:23
Yup been there done that

50:24
yess!!!!

50:24
great question

50:24
IM READY

50:26
@rachel- same

50:28
DO IT

50:28
wow amazing question

50:28
Same.

50:28
hahaha… IM HERE FOR THIS

50:29
LOL

50:29
Bring it

50:30
Yesssssss

50:33
@rachel- same

50:33
I feel like I wrote that one!!

50:35
@Nikki I am in the same boat!

50:37
That's a GOOD question!

50:38
THAT PART

50:38
Let's do it. I'm here for this one :)

50:38
Yes! BEFORE I get invested

50:40
excellent question!!

50:42
This is so helpful

50:42
my ex shared a trauma from his past with me 6 weeks into our relationship... I knew that this would be with us forever. then a week later he pulled away and we broke up. Now every conversation we have end up with us talking about it and him getting really upset.

50:44
Goooodd question

50:45
origins part!!

50:46
Say it again!

50:49
curiosity!

50:50
ahhhhh

50:51
Love it

50:52
WOW

50:52
But I think the point is they’re not avoidant at first…it comes later after you’re invested...

50:54
What about their avoidance serves something in you?

50:55
I am sitting with a margarita - this is good

50:56
Have any examples of how it would serve you?

50:58
naughty!

51:03
I don’t know what that means

51:04
exactly

51:06
Hmmm....it's familiar.

51:06
glad I'm not alone just so confused by his actions!

51:11
self worth

51:11
How do I break that question down?

51:14
Sure Nikki — I’m becoming more aware of my attachment, but I ran from healthy secure women for years. Well, I ran from everyone. But even the good ones.

51:17
Fear of true intimacy

51:18
We don't like it though....

51:21
Because I love being that person they go to for support

51:27
self fulfilling prophecy

51:28
I’ve found that unavailable men fits MY narrative of “people always leave me/people aren’t interested in me"

51:29
but they aren't avoidant at first....

51:30
Thanks, Mark

51:31
I went on a first date with a guy I met online. we messaged for a couple weeks and seemed easy going. on the date, he spoke about himself the entire time. never asked about me or bit when I would try to insert myself into conversation... red flag orrrr??

51:35
Im afraid they wont truly like me if they find out who I really am. I have always tried to be who I think people want me to be and now I don't know who I truly am.

51:37
YES

51:38
Fear of being loved truly

51:42
fear that deep down i’m unloveable and don’t deserve emotional availability

51:42
@Jordan yes exactly!!

51:43
usually there is

51:50
Nope. No part of me that is unavailable.

51:53
ohhhhhhhhh....yes...definately

51:54
What would the subtle difference be between being copedendent or narcissistic with wanting to be around your lover, complimenting them, being intimate, etc? My past relationship if I would complement too much, or want to do things with them, I'd get blamed for being codependent, but isn't there some naturalness in this? Im having a tough time differentiating

51:59
Ive come a long way but possibly… maybe a little bit ??

52:03
Yes… that’s me!

52:04
Exactly - they are not avoidant at first. The very opposite!

52:12
deep down we are scared of being hurt again, so we unconsciously want unavailable people so we don't fall deep and get hurt extra hard

52:14
are men really intimidated by smart successful independent women?

52:14
I’m avoidant if they don’t show red flags, but then the complete opposite if they DO show red flags

52:16
^ Melissa, same here

52:17
How do we become more available?

52:18
there is an “anxious avoidant” attachment style

52:21
For me, it was repeating the sacrifice. Love, growing up, was about sacrifice and giving until it depleted me. Especially as a child. Once I worked through it with my therapist, the cycle stopped. Giving too much became draining

52:23
Why do I want my cheating ex back so much? He cheated and I am pregnant. I need to stop longing for a "family" as he left me for someone else

52:30
I’m always afraid of making the wrong decision and getting in too deep with someone and then ending up hurting them. I would rather be the one hurt

52:32
Their avoidance is your own opportunity to practice. Well at least for me it has been. I've enjoyed it but it comes a point that I get bored because I settle for the little slivers and that ultimately doesn't serve me.

52:33
Its so difficult to know any of this when meeting someone always displaying different behavioss

52:36
Sooo deeeeeppppp

52:43
No. That’s not it. I am available to those things. I am ready. I have been

52:50
Mirroring!

52:52
Maria, same

52:54
Repeats out loud: "I'm not ready to be vulnerable."

52:58
But what if you are being vulnerable? Do you mean having hard conversations?

52:58
I associate love with hurt, my earliest caregiver (mom) abandoned me and I had emotional neglect. So I can’t trust people even when ALL the signs are there and theres no red flags... it’s almost irrational because I recognize it but deep down the fear persists!

52:59
lightbulb moment!!

53:01
the fear of being hurt "again" holds us back and can make us unavailable

53:03
yes, projection and mirroring

53:04
But I cant find what its serving me ?

53:08
Do you feel people need to earn your trust before you give your trust

53:18
if you have some trust issues, does that mean you are not fully available?

53:22
How do i become available?

53:24
Spot on!!!

53:24
That protective barrier

53:24
well said

53:26
Ugh

53:28
100 percent

53:28
Totally makes sense

53:29
Yes!!!!!

53:30
sure does

53:32
yes'

53:33
Yes totally does

53:34
I am not ready to be truly loved because I have no clues how this would feel. OUCH

53:35
I want to be vulnerable, but I don't want to do that too soon and become emotionally attached when I am not sure about the person being a long term match.

53:36
that was awesome!!

53:36
But is it choosing an unavailable person if they act very available for the first few weeks/months?????

53:42
Makes total sense!

53:43
Leave

53:43
Leave me.

53:44
I herd the echos of that ❤️

53:44
wooow!

53:45
What about dudes that are sneaky unavailable? Over time?

53:45
How does that work when you are willing to dive into the vulnerability and it smell h was too but then when we shared a lot he seemed to change his mind and ran…

53:47
Totally makes sense.

53:47
For sure

53:50
Wow!

53:51
I love this! I have discovered that I am emotionally unavailable when it comes to commitment/trusting so I still gravitate toward emotionally unavailable men. How do we change this?

53:52
Sometimes when we date unavailable people, it’s easier to place the blame on other people when they leave us instead of not fixing our shit.

53:54
Wow

53:56
Mind blowing

53:56
Okay so how do we repair those hurt parts of us that make us unintentionally pull away

53:58
They disappear.

53:59
abandonment

54:02
When I love people, they…

54:03
So good… we are not ready for intimacy perhaps…

54:18
Yup

54:19
@Emma yes to “sneaky unavailable”…exactly!

54:20
Avoidance can be vulnerable in the beginning because there’s less risk right? But then when stakes get higher they shut down?

54:24
I really need a relationship coach 😔

54:27
Yup 👍🏻

54:27
Can all these issues be resolved with self worth?

54:29
it all boils down to communicating. how you approach the situation when you see a flag will show you your attachment style and how they respond will show you if you should stay or leave

54:29
I am the ultimate choosers of unavoidable men

54:29
Kim, repairing the relationship with yourself? Healing from childhood trauma?

54:30
Makes so much sense wow .. I need to figure out what area I’mUnavailable in because I don’t feel like I know the answer to that !

54:30
How do you know what true love is if what you've been taught, isn't real healthy love?

54:30
Thanks! You just answered a question.

54:31
But whyyyyyy lol it doesn’t make sense!

54:38
Truth! I want live but I’m terrified of it. Makes sense that I pick unavailable

54:40
So true

54:41
You both are awesome

54:44
so true

54:47
Self sabotage by validating the fear

55:01
These two people are the best relationship mentors I have ever beheld

55:01
It brings up internal pain

55:08
I wait for vulnerability from the other person before I feel like I can be vulberable

55:09
How can we practically implement some techniques to test our emotional availability?

55:16
how do you know when someone is a good match? how do you know when you are aware or discerning or know yourself well enough to trust in your decision making when it comes to choosing the "right" match?

55:18
Um, fear of being in an enclosed space alone with someone for starters. Is there even hope?

55:21
Recreation of dysfunction is a control of pain, the kind of suffering we undergo

55:21
Lacking Self-worth

55:25
So true

55:27
so how do we change that

55:29
it's ok to date ppl with insecure attachment! half the population is insecure. secure ppl bring insecure ppl into the light lol

55:29
I feel ready. I love vulnerability and open conversations.. I try to make things work.. and they get avoidant anyways... and it hurts. WHY AM I STILL WAITING FOR THEM ?

55:30
That’s it ... it’s fear ..

55:31
you guys are so beautiful and wonderful for teaching us these important things. thanks so much. so grateful

55:38
yep

55:38
all. the. time.

55:38
Good question

55:39
It’s easier CODEPENDENCY

55:41
of course!

55:42
Yes

55:44
That would be me

55:44
Guilty

55:45
Offft

55:46
yep -

55:46
Omg ...yes

55:47
how do we know when we are ready to be available ?

55:47
That’s a good one!!!!!!

55:48
Good one!

55:48
Guilty

55:49
I AM A FIXER UPPER..lol

55:49
Me

55:50
I feel attacked!! hahahaa

55:50
I used to

55:51
Codependent saviours unite!

55:51
Savior complex

55:51
My father was extremely emotionally abusive, my partner feels a little unsafe (yelling and snaping at me when we fight) but i don't know if im so fed up with abuse i became too intolerant of normal (at times) behaviours, how much is too much? I get uspet when he snaps at me, but he thinks im overreacting

55:53
that person has to want to move to be available. I cant do it

55:54
lolll

55:54
guilty

55:56
yess!!

55:59
can you repeat that please

55:59
Yep

55:59
What’s the question again?

56:02
Woww I think you hit the nail on the head

56:03
The book Attached has great examples of signs to look out for in potentially avoidant partners

56:06
It’s always easier to work on others than on ourselves.

56:06
yes- fixer

56:06
yup!

56:08
WHEW

56:08
Whats the question ??

56:08
yep

56:08
YES

56:09
people pleaser

56:12
YESSSS

56:12
yess! everytime i meet a person who is emotionally unavailable, i take it up as a challenge. i want to change and fix them, it adds to the spark for me...

56:12
I was always a fixer ..

56:14
YES

56:16
they will only change if they want to do the work

56:18
Yes!

56:19
Ohhh yeaaahh that reasonatea

56:22
🙋🏻♀️

56:22
The project husband

56:24
such a people pleaser. want to try to change them. validates me

56:24
Oooooh I see me in that

56:25
Thanks Hannah, I am attending CODA these days. But not sure what full healing of myself truly looks like. I have a lot independence...but not sure I am completely satisfied with who I am.

56:26
Yes

56:26
oh I feel THIS

56:26
yes!

56:26
Can the person who walked away out of fear from getting close ever come back?

56:27
People don’t change!

56:28
yes!!!

56:29
Exactly

56:29
OMG yesssss - I’m a classic fixer especially fixing their dysfunctional family elements

56:31
yep. turned a fuckboi into a husband...ended up divorced....thought he ''changed''...listen to what she is saying people! haha

56:32
"What does it say about you if you can get someone to change?" AAAAhhhh!!

56:33
yesssss

56:34
Landing

56:34
yesss

56:34
Yep

56:35
hell yess

56:35
I was subconsciously doing that for YEARSSSS

56:35
Ummm me

56:36
👋🏼

56:36
absolutely

56:36
yes

56:37
Shooooot

56:37
omg! that's so trueee

56:37
Oh yeah

56:37
BAM!!

56:37
ye

56:37
yup...

56:38
ugh..yes

56:38
yes

56:38
That's the ego at play for sure

56:39
They are people, not projects!!!

56:39
nooo I don't have the time for that

56:39
Daaanngg

56:39
yeppppp

56:39
that is codependency

56:39
Haha yep

56:40
Yesss

56:40
most def

56:40
yesssssssssssssss

56:41
eff yes

56:41
Yep

56:41
YASS!

56:42
🤦🏼♀️ guilty

56:42
yep!!

56:42
yup!!!

56:42
Yessss

56:42
yeahhh

56:42
Haha triggered

56:42
YEs

56:42
Hahaha

56:43
Yup…eek…

56:43
100%

56:43
That's me!

56:43
very much

56:43
yup

56:44
Spicy

56:44
🙋🏻♀️

56:44
I married one! 18 years later- couldn’t change anything and gave up

56:44
No

56:45
Yyesssss

56:45
1000%

56:45
Only you can change yourself

56:45
yessss

56:46
🙋🏻♀️

56:46
I think that’s me

56:47
💯

56:47
Yes

56:47
ouch

56:47
Lawd!!!

56:48
🤚🏻

56:48
I Was not anymore

56:48
🙌

56:50
Yuuuuup

56:52
🙋🏻♀️

56:53
omg

56:55
Did anyone write down Mark’s quote on ‘all of the questions/conversations that we don’t want to have in dating…’

56:55
🙋🏻♀️

56:56
🤚

56:57
hahaha… yes.. all the self work.. wtf :P

56:57
100%

56:57
YESSSSSS

56:58
HI SANJ 😊❤

56:59
Y'all are calling me out lol

57:00
that’s so me lol

57:00
“Look how special I am”

57:01
but we don't know thats who they are when it starts. But we want to make it work...

57:02
oh yeah fixer uppers

57:03
HI, IT ME lol

57:03
The whisperer!!!

57:05
NOT doing that again

57:06
💯💯💯

57:06
I have absolutely done that. Ended up in a 3 year relationship because I just assumed they would want what I want once they knew me lol That was a hard lesson but such a valuable one :)

57:11
And now I have a partner who is Available with a capital A and it scares me!

57:14
The unfulfilling dynamic with my dad was reflected in different ways in my romantic relationships , also trying to get a “happy end” to the story

57:22
so if you pinpointed what your block, what would be the next step, process.. on the work

57:26
I'm such an amateur plumber 🖐️

57:35
I just want everyone to be okay and put this before my own well-being.

57:35
A call IN to conversation instead of a call out 💗

57:36
Just dropping this here: the book Deeper dating from Ken Page is fab !! How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy🙌

57:36
How do you change yourself from fixer ....what are we then

57:37
We want to be the hero to the one we love

57:45
And WHAT DO I DO WHEN I AM A FIXER, SAVER?

57:46
can you repeaT the 3rd question please?

57:47
I always end up dating guys that have things to work on. I help them and then the next female they date they end up marrying.

57:50
protection mechanism

57:54
I have taht one Laura.. haven’t read it yet… maybe its time! :)

57:57
For sure. How do we notice the signs of this in the moment?

57:59
all dat every day. If I love them enough they will become available. But it des not work!

58:02
to change it and heal?

58:06
Thanks @Laura

58:12
If someones red flag is lying but they want to fix it do you think that is possible to ever trust and grow from that

58:16
well --- no words here lol cheated on my marriage to be with a person -- apparently being unmarried and working on ur divorce took the kick out of it .. I am boring now

58:18
@Laura —YESSSS! Love that book so much! Also he has a podcast that is FABULOUS! Deeper Dating for the win!

58:26
Loving an unavailable person makes you feel good like you’re the one giving and giving, but it helps you avoid your own shit because you’re focussed on then

58:32
We need to save ourselves

58:34
I know I am completely unavailable and the more bravely I face that the more fiercely I am able to heal myself and grow

58:34
How do you continue to stay open to people and keep trying

58:36
Welcome :)

58:43
Will Smith once said that BLAME and RESPONSIBILITY are two different things.

58:50
What was that quote? “It’s not our fault what happened, but it’s our responsibility to..."

58:51
Difference between needy and venerablity?

58:51
This is all so good

58:54
You’ll know when you are ready for love not addiction

58:57
completely yes

59:01
well said ❤️

59:02
its what is hear sit in it

59:18
Well said, walking away is loving ourselves.

59:21
Do you think it’s possible to explore/expect deep intimacy & love with a partner without exclusive commitment? I just left a 20+ year marraige & have done the work & want to deep dive but need space to heal & explore for a good long while since I’ve been on my own.

59:22
YES

59:22
yes

59:23
yes

59:25
Yepp

59:28
yes

59:28
Ooo yikes. Yes..

59:31
yes

59:31
yesss

59:34
Wow

59:43
Yup

59:50
or didn’t try hard enough or do enough

59:56
yes

59:56
(“Never” been on my own)

59:56
Oh fuck I always thought do I love this person enough to commit so I would run before getting any deeper, but really I was just protecting myself not them

59:58
Shame suffocates

01:00:02
Betray them. Yes. One. Shits getting deep.

01:00:03
no

01:00:03
Yes.. I broke my marriage and my family.. I hurt a lot of people by leaving my husband…!

01:00:10
Yes! Since I always live in fear of disappointing my strict parents

01:00:12
Omg

01:00:15
@dan are you my ex?

01:00:18
Can you post these questions so we can reflect more…later?

01:00:34
I am currently fighting that feeling and I think its an excuse for not doing the work to truly show up for him

01:00:36
Put the mask on yourself first.

01:00:37
Yes @Maria thanks. Please do guys

01:00:38
Yes I see that..... so they may just choose one nighters, flings, etc.

01:00:44
Agreed @maria

01:00:50
What do you do if you don't trust yourself...oh gd' :/

01:00:58
It’s not that I don’t trust myself, it’s that I never trusted them to begin with

01:01:03
Amen Mark!

01:01:12
Dan can we talking DM bc you seem like the guy I went out with and would just like to get your thoughts on his point of view cause I'm so confused.

01:01:24
Going through that right now

01:01:44
“The responsibility that comes with closeness”

01:01:46
The fear of not being enough so they will end up leaving, but then they leave right in the beginning and I’m still broken and not enough

01:01:53
@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?

01:01:54
I ended a 28 year marriage. I finally chose myself but I hurt my kids. Forgiving yourself is a process.

01:01:56
I also ended my 10 yr relationship because I believed & assumed that everything was going well between my fiance/boyfriend (realizing now that he was completely unavailable right from the start)

01:02:06
@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?

01:02:07
That really hit. I divorced my husband after 12 years and hurt him so much. I never want to do that again. So I never date anyone for long. How do I change that?

01:02:11
I don't believe I have the "power" to hurt anyone

01:02:14
My husband has major abandonment issues and abandons me by joining online dating sites so he can abandon me before I can abandon him…even though I had no intention of abandoning him. It’s incredibly hurtful.

01:02:17
Hmmm…. I tend to punish, so if they did something to me, I react and try to hurt them back. A tit for tat situation. It’s childish and listening to Mark, I’ve realised I don’t want to act that way.

01:02:18
My brother held blame for me all of his life and treated me like shit because if it and ruined the relationships and blamed me for everything

01:02:26
So true. Ending an engagement and I am crushed but have to do it.

01:02:28
definitely better to cut something off than to slowly shred a relationship

01:02:29
this happened to me. such hurt and makes me afraid to hurt someone again... honestly didn't realize that until this

01:02:33
Will this be available to watch again later this weekend?

01:02:45
Why sometimes partners leave you once the relationship is perfect for a while after some challenges? Happened to me during last 2 relationship... they left just during the most beautiful period when we started talking about family and kids

01:02:47
LOVING THIS GUYS 🙏🏻

01:02:54
Vienna, I don't know about anyone else but it is hard to hear you.

01:02:58
Whoa is that written down somewhere? The differences between compromise and sacrifice?

01:02:59
22 yr marriage done after I found out my ex didn't trust anyone after his first gf dumped him, including me

01:02:59
Yep. Bawling over here at the divorce insight

01:03:01
thanks veinna for recognizing that

01:03:09
its not easy work 😥

01:03:09
Can someone finish the sentence mark said..”have a difference between sacrifice and …”

01:03:22
I find it super hard to value myself

01:03:22
Compromise

01:03:24
it's not easy, but it's raw and real.

01:03:26
The questions are really great.

01:03:26
Lol

01:03:26
@brie hugs

01:03:30
I’m going through a separation and potential divorce and I feel so damaged and feel like I’ve lost my self worth and am afraid of how my future relationships would look like because I’ll be afraid to hurt them

01:03:31
Oh no so sorry Brie

01:03:34
Wow

01:03:37
yes good one!!!

01:03:39
For me Vienna is very clear, can hear with no trouble

01:03:40
Alysha: Compromise deepens trust & intimacy.

01:03:43
D

01:03:46
great question !!!

01:03:55
Yessssss!! I just went through this!

01:03:56
Brie, Same here sister. Sending love <3

01:04:01
lol, yup

01:04:04
YESSSSSSSSSS HES A FUQQBOI

01:04:06
Do actions and words align? That’s what you need to pay attention to.

01:04:06
Lol! Sack him off

01:04:06
Same just went through this literally yesterday.

01:04:07
Words versus actions

01:04:10
wow this is my experience, "see how it goes"

01:04:12
Always

01:04:12
sounds like hes good with his works

01:04:13
Omg! 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️

01:04:14
words

01:04:15
This is me

01:04:15
me too.... he had anxious attachment

01:04:16
Yep “its going too fast"

01:04:18
this is me

01:04:19
saaaaame! but i didnt allow the space & be comfortable in it!!!

01:04:20
Ha!

01:04:21
but doesn't follow through

01:04:22
Help me

01:04:23
lol

01:04:25
hes not ready

01:04:27
lol

01:04:29
6 months?! He’s not into it

01:04:29
DO WORDS AND ACTIONS ALIGN

01:04:29
lets just see where this goes...

01:04:30
going too fast then gets a gf after you

01:04:30
Ha!

01:04:30
Living this now

01:04:30
Holy crap this is what lead me to my toxic relationship

01:04:31
Ughhhhhhhh

01:04:31
he just not that into her

01:04:32
THISSSS

01:04:34
I ended up marrying that guy and now going through a dovorce

01:04:35
Stop sex and let the stress tell

01:04:35
lets not rush things...

01:04:37
And then 2 weeks later he dumped me

01:04:37
6 months and not sure???Is that normal!!!!????

01:04:42
lmao

01:04:43
if you have voiced what bothers you, and he still doesn't make a change, gurl/boi LEAVE

01:04:43
Words = who we want to be vs actions = who they are

01:04:44
is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?

01:04:45
I enjoy your company and I like you

01:04:46
100% my last relationship and then..."I don't think this is going any further than what it is now"

01:04:47
what about serial monogamists who marry, maybe even twice, get into long term relationships and appear to want commitment but never take a min in between relationships...

01:04:47
I’m Triggered

01:04:50
Just stop sleeping with them and see how they act

01:04:50
actions speak louder than words

01:04:50
I’m here for this!

01:04:53
YUUUUP just ended things with someone who I thought wanted a relationship, doing all the relationship ~things~ to find out we’re “not on the same page” months later… rough stuff

01:04:56
Hahahah maleeha that was the last guy I dated over the pandemic. Total fuckboiii

01:05:00
is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?

01:05:04
Maybe they don't realise they are unavailable until they are in a relationship. Happened to me recently.

01:05:08
if their words and actions don't align.... there is your answer!

01:05:09
F Boy! Been seeing one for 9 months!

01:05:18
Yes Mark that

01:05:18
micro

01:05:22
Yeah!

01:05:24
Yup NAT, been there done that.. never again lol , we gotta weed these losers out

01:05:24
THEY JUST ANSWERED THEIR OWN QUESTION

01:05:25
pink flags

01:05:27
Pink flags

01:05:28
Yes Mark! Yeeeessss! yellow and red!!!

01:05:30
Trust your gut and prioritize yourself

01:05:33
my good friend didn't label the person she was dating until after a year into the relationship..she wanted to take it slow. They've now been together for 5 yrs and plan to propose next month.

01:05:34
It’s their actions we need to listen to

01:05:38
I call them red butterflies

01:05:39
This is literally every dating situation I’ve been in for the last 2 years

01:05:44
I was just speaking to someone on an app who for a month was super sweet and said he wanted a relationship. As soon as we started texting, he got very sexual and when I called him out on the red flags that his actions didn't match his words and asked if he was being honest with what he wanted. I was met with silence and he never text me again.

01:05:49
I call them red butterflies

01:05:50
Like the fancy toothpicks you get in your club sandwich.....little red flags

01:05:53
Communication right.

01:05:55
"pump the breaks"

01:05:56
Exactly! I feel like I’m so much more preparednow at weeding all those losers out! I don’t have time to waste

01:06:00
I’m in my 20s looking for only relationship no hookups and a girl on Tinder ghosted ME because I didn’t hookup on the first date 😂

01:06:01
Yeah give it time to see what happens, giving room for growth...made sense at the time

01:06:02
This has been a pattern for me too...I continue based on potential vs. current reality.

01:06:02
I notice I attract guys with mental health issues they’re not avoidant they’re more anxious and want love and because I’m an empath and work in psychology I try not to judge and give people chances- we all have mental health issues regardless but when I set boundaries and realize their mental health issues are unhealthy for me to stay I leave and they make me feel guilty for that but know I did the right thing- what can I do to not continue to attract these men ?

01:06:03
f*ckboi energy but it could be fear as well. You could be a spaceholder while he hopes for a stronger connection/attraction. Ugh, just left someone like this. he wouldn't admit he wasn't completely attracted to me but loved me as a person

01:06:03
@jen Actions AND words. Do they line up?

01:06:10
lets take it slow & easy.....after 6 mths whats that mean??

01:06:14
Ya it’s ok to give stuff time ...

01:06:16
omg tracy I get that

01:06:27
lol

01:06:29
You do not need to fear anything when you are your own partner and priority

01:06:33
I seen “how it went” for 9 months and whenwe got into a big argument, that’s when he decided to ask me because he was scared to lose me.We’re broken up now, and We still talk, but he’s told me that he feels less pressured to be in a relationship…..I’m trying to be gentle with myself for sticking around, even when I know it’s not my truth, I want to be in a romantic relationship woth him but it’s just different

01:06:36
After 3 months, if they don’t know if they want to be exclusive, I’m out lol

01:06:36
I feel like we usually know what’s up but don’t want to hear it.

01:06:37
sounds like passive reciprocation.. are you giving a lot and he's jut like "yeah ok". if you stopped giving time/attention/wtv would you never hear from him again?

01:06:38
My friend is seeing a guy who isn't divorced yet, isn't even separated...still living with his ex-wife, but she's CONVINCED he's "the one" and I'm like NO WAY! That's a HUGE red flag! Am I right??

01:06:38
over a year and it's let's give it another 6 months... lord

01:06:46
Your needs? Your standards? Your boundaries

01:06:55
@emily absolutely!!

01:06:57
What about at 2 months

01:06:58
Exactly!

01:07:00
agreed mark.

01:07:01
What if they have been “committed” for almost a year and still doesn’t want to move forward but acts like it????

01:07:02
If you are honest how can you tell if you are available/unavailable?

01:07:03
100% accurate @Leslie

01:07:03
When is clarity expected

01:07:03
Thank you that’s affirming and helpful

01:07:05
how do we know how much time is enough :/

01:07:07
3 months

01:07:08
That was me in my dating experience

01:07:10
Because someone could act like a boyfriend or girlfriend, but tell you straight up they don’t want a relationship.

01:07:11
That's what made it easy to leave

01:07:11
what about this same situation but at 4 months ?

01:07:14
they work together too!! it's so messy

01:07:14
Barbara was thinking same with 3 months, I think I am going to give it another month and see how I FEEL

01:07:16
Can you be anxious about the relationship at 3 months?

01:07:17
The clarity may be to be friends,,, truly just friends. not easy if you are the one who still wants more

01:07:17
I think 2 months is enough time

01:07:20
what about 4 1/2 after meeting parents/friends/attending cottages & wedding together LOL

01:07:25
Okay I am a woman and this may not be the popular answer, but why do you want a relationship with someone right away that you are still finding out about? Aren't we trying to see if they have the qualities we align ourselves with? Too much pressure to define it within 1-2 months? A lot of people ask me on the 2nd date what we are. I don't like that pressure. I want to be open and let it unfold

01:07:25
Yes same experience too with online dating

01:07:28
DING DING they dont know themselves

01:07:29
His way of saying without saying, that he’s still looking for. Something better. Period

01:07:32
6 months is too long for this

01:07:38
I do believe people who know themselves and know what they want would be intentional about dating and relationships, because who has time to waste?

01:07:40
Red butterflies 😂

01:07:44
the time you decide before meeting someone is enough. we’ve all seen how love works in healthy relationships. when someone wants you, they have no problems deciding this. This is what i’m heearing

01:07:45
@Natalie I agree as well.. after 3 months not exclusive ✌

01:07:46
I think unless you've gone through therapy and grieved, even if you meet an amazing person, don't see how you can be available if you date when separated or just after a long-term relationship. I don't get it...mabybe I wish I could move on that quickly lol

01:07:51
agree Iliana!

01:07:51
18 months and haven’t even talked about the future…we are in a committed relationship but were both burned by ex husband & ex wife so I think we’re both scared to discuss…

01:07:54
Agree!!!!!!

01:07:56
+1

01:07:56
YES!

01:07:57
yes

01:07:57
Agree

01:07:58
yup

01:07:58
YES

01:07:59
exactly

01:07:59
THANK YOUUUU and I’m not asking them to propose!!!

01:07:59
Agree

01:07:59
Yes!!

01:08:00
YES

01:08:00
Thank you!!! YeS

01:08:01
OMG YES!!!!

01:08:01
100!!!

01:08:01
@kim...I totally agree!

01:08:02
PREACH!

01:08:03
Amen

01:08:04
yes definitely

01:08:04
yessssssssss

01:08:04
fk yesss

01:08:05
YESSS OBVIOUSLY

01:08:05
YESSSSSSS

01:08:05
yes!

01:08:05
Hahahaha

01:08:06
YASSSSSSSS!!!

01:08:06
like get over yourself

01:08:06
YES

01:08:06
totally

01:08:06
just stating intentions

01:08:06
TELL MEN THAT

01:08:06
They say they want a relationship but then you find out either they are completely unavailable for a relationship or have no clue what they want

01:08:07
Yes

01:08:08
yesss

01:08:09
guys think soooo

01:08:09
WORD

01:08:09
hahah YESSS

01:08:09
What if there are kids involved because of divorce? It’s complicated

01:08:09
I feel like I keep meeting these types of people and sometimes I can’t help at 44 if I’m bringing that out in them…even though I know we can’t blame them. I grew up with parents who had an arranged marriage and very respectful and interdependent…it’s so confusing for me, because I don’t push and in fact sometimes the guy will be all hung ho and project it onto me

01:08:10
Haha!

01:08:11
YES LMAO

01:08:12
Yes!!!

01:08:12
So frustrating!!

01:08:13
I think men assume they mean you right now!

01:08:13
💯

01:08:17
Gotta school THESE BOYS!!

01:08:18
I was in that sham relationship

01:08:19
I had a guy ask me after a month "where is this going" freaked me the fuck out! 5 months later we still haven't defined it.

01:08:19
3 months - discovery phase. Some people may not be clear on what they want. If you are , move on ....

01:08:21
agreed

01:08:23
They don’t know that….they being men.

01:08:24
Men think we want to get married today. we don’t

01:08:28
Too much too soon comes off as needy and desparate

01:08:34
It's also shows how much their fears are right at the front of everything.

01:08:36
exactly

01:08:38
I feel like it’s okay to say that you’re looking for something serious and weed people out that way. However some people I am around think this is too much pressure..thoughts?

01:08:40
My girlfriend and I last spoke (texted) on my birthday last month. She felt that the relationship became toxic because I haven’t healed from past relationships. Issues of abandonment and trust have haunted me. I know that I had instances of hurtful reaction rather than healthy responsiveness. During this past month, I’ve realized the wrong choices and I want to be better. Thing is, I’m still deeply in love with her and I don’t know where to go from here. Please help!!

01:08:42
Preachhhhhh

01:08:43
Oof

01:08:44
YES. Knowing the desired end result and endgame doesn’t mean you’re declaring it right here right now with that specific person, just being honest about the outcome you want.

01:08:45
So guilty of that

01:08:46
Yessss

01:08:47
Yes Vienna!!

01:08:50
Yeeessss Vienna. Shape shifting uffff

01:08:50
It’s healthy to verbalize your end game goal, weed out the rookies to make room for a veteran

01:08:51
The pace didn’t work for me for 7 years LOL

01:08:53
Omg yes tuning into ourselves is important and difficult

01:08:53
YES.

01:08:54
It is irritating when people start romanticizing and tell you how they imagine a future, moving in...then as soon as it gets serious, or "normal" they become avoidant

01:08:59
yessss! thanks for that reminder :)

01:09:01
And having the self worth to check if it is working and bounce if it’s not

01:09:05
Yes!!!!!! Amen!!!

01:09:05
I’m in a long distance relationship and the pace for me right now is perfect, slow and old fashioned after having a rough go

01:09:06
💯💯💯💯💯

01:09:06
I was dating someone who was ‘All In’ from the get go. We were very in Love, marriage, kids, moving in type of convos.. felt right & natural. We basically lived together & saw each other every day for 2 months. Then the closer & more intimate we got all of a sudden they started withdrawing & shutting down. I’m assuming this is avoidance. I’m curious your assessment. The relationship ended in what felt like ‘mid flight’ with them in total emotional shut down. And then they basically ghosted me & blocked me everywhere.

01:09:06
We have to think do I LIKE THIS PERSON.. not do they like me

01:09:06
I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not

01:09:07
He probably a Taurus ♉️ lol

01:09:08
Look inside yourself at all times

01:09:10
High five ✋

01:09:12
Thank you

01:09:17
yup yup

01:09:20
yes!! always come back to what you want. What is in alignment with YOU. LOVE THIS.

01:09:23
We are so programmed to focus on the other

01:09:24
I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not

01:09:25
100%

01:09:27
thanks for that!

01:09:31
Focus on yourself

01:09:35
exactly!

01:09:37
So - how should one safely communicate that to them?

01:09:38
I needed to hear this!

01:09:39
Up your standards

01:09:40
We have to be willing to accept that some people aren’t in the space that we are at or wanting….so hard.

01:09:40
Exactly

01:09:42
NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!!!

01:09:42
what is your take on taking a break with your partner of 7 years or just relationship breaks in general

01:09:42
Yes Vienna preachhhh!!!!

01:09:48
because anxious - aggression

01:09:48
what if I doubt about my own pace? what if I believe that im the one rushing things?

01:09:49
Dang ...

01:09:50
Ahh, love that.

01:09:52
You should at least have the same intentions though from the begining of dating right? As in you are both looking for an actual relationship/partnership. Yes it takes time to build but the problem is people don't have true intentions

01:09:53
Love it

01:09:53
Yessss don't abandon yourself

01:09:57
I love that! I never looked at it that way.

01:09:58
Oh JaimeReyes that’s tough hun.

01:10:00
wow! I get to think about myself? that's new to me

01:10:00
Self-tracking vs. Other tracking!

01:10:02
I was just in this situation - we revisited 5 months down the road and he still said I don't know. you're 38 years old, figure it out

01:10:02
If I love me would I like this?

01:10:04
Rhiannon T. P?

01:10:04
That was HUGE! Does the pace work for me!

01:10:12
why is time the unit to measure instead of connection?

01:10:12
How do you know if someone is wasting your time?

01:10:12
Yeah, why do we worry so much about why someone’s gonna choose us? We should wonder whether or not we are gonna choose them, whether they are good enough for us!

01:10:13
But as we check in we need to validate against norms?

01:10:16
lets start adulting

01:10:16
isn’t the hard part here, tho, choosing between waiting longer with this person or going back to zero? they both feel like what we might not want

01:10:18
So many truth bombs here!

01:10:18
that's me!

01:10:20
Is being a 30 year old virgin a red flag? Past emotional trauma that has been explored and worked through but is this a red flag for people? Do you need to tell other people?

01:10:21
I need to learn this!!

01:10:21
amen vienna. what decision would I make if I was prioritizing what I wanted over what they want?

01:10:24
I practices all this that you described but tooo slowly last time...

01:10:25
❤️❤️

01:10:25
Ready to learn this. :)

01:10:26
Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself

01:10:27
choosing and being chosen.. I feel like I am crushing all my short term relationships lol

01:10:33
BEEN THERE DONE THAT LOL MEN JUST DRAG THEIR FEET….

01:10:35
Yesss feel into your power

01:10:35
Get your power back!!!

01:10:36
Inner validation not outward

01:10:38
That was my ex. Couldn’t have the convo to end it.

01:10:39
You get to chose

01:10:43
and eff yes - I am awesome, if you don't see the value in me then that is your loss

01:10:45
It’s about being 100% honest with what we want. Not playing games and verbalizing that!

01:10:50
Instead of being focused on whether they like me... remind myself, do I even like them?

01:10:55
bye!

01:10:55
It feels sogood@

01:11:00
Focus on choosing, not being chosen!!!

01:11:01
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

01:11:02
No games be honest from the get go

01:11:02
Own your power

01:11:05
the sooner you end it, the sooner your back on the market. Hes wasting your time

01:11:05
Yup, I didn't wanna be another woman who didn't stick around and be what he needed. But I needed more. We were about a year in

01:11:07
Yasssss

01:11:09
HELLL TO THE YES ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU

01:11:09
Had to break up with my BF gf 9 months because we had diff paces. I’m 40 never married and want a kid, he’s been married and has kids. Hardest convo to have but needed it!!! Thank you for reminding me I made right decision

01:11:10
Yep-- it's empowering to leave and choose yourself!!!

01:11:10
Woohoo!! :)

01:11:13
Yesss! Get your fucking power back!

01:11:14
I’d love to hear you two speak about tips on how to heal after being in a relationship with gaslighting or emotional manipulation?

01:11:15
I use this as part of my filtering process for dating- what are you looking for? what is your relationship desire? if their goals are not in alignment with mine, I move on. I do this before I even meet! huge help!

01:11:15
YES!!!

01:11:15
Mark what did you mean - “when do our expectations become walls….”?

01:11:21
Just did this! Gave him 6 months to settle and sort out his life. And still I was uncertain of where I stood. So I was like you know I think you should find somewhere else to live.

01:11:21
dont be small for them

01:11:22
hes getting what he wants, but your not getting what you want

01:11:22
Oh I struggle with leaving!! And regret/ self doubt

01:11:22
Intuition tells you always

01:11:23
Biiig red flag I experienced earlier this month: after arguing for silly things, I discovered he texted an escort lady to meet (they didn’t meet). But just the fact to send or have this idea ... so disrespectful... and we’ve been dating for 8 months ...The prob is : trying to find the solution outside instead of within !

01:11:29
Oh that gets me - someone dragging someone along and letting things go dead because they don’t have the COURAGE to voice what they want/need/know

01:11:32
How do you know when you’ve healed enough after a breakup to start dating again?

01:11:34
Thank you for validating my choices!

01:11:36
Love that mark

01:11:36
to love yourself enough to leave

01:11:40
What Mark is saying now is so important. I never choose to leave and do it. Even if I know it’s not right.

01:11:44
NO WE NEED ANOTHER HOUR’

01:11:45
Wow this went by fast

01:11:46
yep. people show you who they are. Always. That's the ultimate tell.

01:11:47
How do you get back out there in a healthy relationship - post bad relationship

01:11:53
sooooooo many red flags

01:11:57
AND! Its OK! Dating is sorting!

01:11:59
BOI BYE

01:12:00
I loved your post on boundaries vs barriers. I did a screen shot and sent it to him. His barriers have worn me out. I’m done now.

01:12:00
mark deserves an oscar

01:12:00
Lmao

01:12:01
There s a greek song that says the one who knows how to love knows how to break up. I used to hate up when growing up and denied it. Now I get it, and I say thanks

01:12:01
Is this recorded because I missed most of this unfortunately

01:12:01
This has been amazing!

01:12:02
Hahaha YES we need another hour! Or all night 😂

01:12:11
Rhiannon are you from RI?!

01:12:11
Absolutely

01:12:12
This stuff is so juicy haha

01:12:14
Move forward

01:12:15
Why do I keep chasing?

01:12:15
Hahahahaha - Mark's story telling skills are on fire!!

01:12:15
BOI BYE

01:12:18
Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.

01:12:18
That isn’t your guy! You can’t force someone to be ready for something

01:12:19
Oh god my standards were impossible. @Xina my expectations were impossible for anyone to meet. Massive WALLS. I’ve pushed away the most beautiful, kind, loving people because of 1 or 2 minor perceived flaws.

01:12:20
yes, respect his wishes and see whose next

01:12:24
ummm this is my life right now

01:12:25
lmao mark

01:12:27
Deep dive

01:12:29
When there's a difference between words and actions...be curious. whew. All the feels there.

01:12:31
😅 let’s grope this one

01:12:31
O00O0O0O0O0 Dan got it, that’s so helpful

01:12:46
Always move forward stop waiting

01:12:57
Don’t chase

01:12:59
Eric I'm in Australia

01:13:03
Yesss !!!!

01:13:03
agree on When action & words don't match be curious!

01:13:09
Stop waiting to be chosen

01:13:10
it's exhausting

01:13:13
Choose yourself

01:13:17
He needs to see this 👌 it’s been so informative

01:13:19
Yes. When the word isn't align with their action... also Track record. What is the track of repeated behaviour. From past until now.. Can reveals a lot as well.

01:13:26
Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.

01:13:26
Dated a guy who told me that I don’t understand him and his divorce and ended things with me. He pushed me away when his close got close to me. He always needed space and breaks. And yet I’m the one feeling like I did something wrong even though I know it’s him. Why do I feel this way?

01:13:30
Best advice I got: IF IT"S A MAYBe it's a no

01:13:33
This is what I’m experiencing right now and I’ve had to pull back to protect myself and honor myself so that I’m not presenting myself for him as a convenience when he really isn’t willing/able to commit

01:13:40
Omg Thats how I feel about matt Mahleea!

01:13:45
Thanks for this, I need to hop off but look forward to watching the rest on the recording!

01:13:48
yesssssss

01:14:03
i confronted why u not available and went into no contact

01:14:05
*Maliha

01:14:05
Give them space let them decide for themselves at their own time

01:14:17
You do not need to help them

01:14:24
You do not need to do it for them

01:14:24
If he doesn’t want to get married, he can’t meet your needs. Don’t waste your time anymore. You can’t change his mind.

01:14:25
Haha all good. Struggle to have those tuff convo's

01:14:27
Do you think it's okay to have someone facilitate the conversations that are tough? Like even early on. Agreeing to help each other grow regardless of the outcome.

01:14:31
You do not need to hold their hand

01:14:32
Why do I feel I’m the cause of the ghosting. Like instead of them pulling away- maybe I pushed them away

01:14:32
been doing that for 6 months ..

01:14:33
I’m not American or Canadian and I never understand the difference between seeing and dating. In Brazil there has to be a formal ask to address whether you’re in a relationship or not. Until that question is asked there are no strings attached what.

01:14:35
Agree - helping them with their trauma.

01:14:36
They are an adult

01:14:45
Let them grow!!

01:14:51
verbally abused -- but won't openly tell u -- wold still call u

01:15:01
It sucks that he can’t have the convo with me. I know that’s how he feels. I’m so intuitive lol

01:15:02
Dan you pushed away someone amazing bc of 1 or 2 flaws they had? is that what you're saying? 🤔

01:15:06
as long as u don't confront them they will be ok

01:15:09
“We’re not here to solution things for other people” MANNNNN.. I needed to hear that

01:15:14
All of this sounds like we need to have a doctorate in relating with each other. What about… just BE-ING in the moment with each other… loving ourselves in full Awareness. I’m feeling it is like walking on a time bomb…

01:15:19
And I hope for the best and continue chasing. Definitely being anxiously attached doesn’t help

01:15:19
leaving space - epic.

01:15:21
Also back to check in with you… if they don’t want marriage and you do then you know what your need to know.

01:15:25
@nikki Send me your IG name and I can message you after if you’d like. I’ve been following Mark & others for years trying to heal my FA pattern of attachment. I’m only in my 20s but becoming very aware of what was driving my previous relational failures and avoidance etc. so maybe it can help you understand your guy.

01:15:29
Tacos!!!!!

01:15:31
why don't they teach all this shit in scholl.

01:15:34
Yay!!!!!

01:15:34
schoolll

01:15:35
TACOS LOL

01:15:35
HE BETTER STAY FOR TACO;S lol

01:15:37
🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

01:15:40
🌮💗💗

01:15:41
😂🤣😂🤣 tacos ❤️❤️❤️

01:15:42
Bahahahaha

01:15:46
IG: ndavila15

01:15:48
i love the space concept

01:15:49
lol

01:15:49
Burritos!!!!!

01:15:49
thanks Dan

01:15:54
Tacos!!!!!

01:15:59
Guacamole!!!!!

01:16:03
how do you give space and protect yourself?

01:16:06
This is such a good webinar

01:16:10
i like Tacos lol

01:16:11
IG majcordova

01:16:12
That’s a deep connection conversation

01:16:22
btw happy pride month to all of my fellow rainbow babes

01:16:24
great webinar!

01:16:37
This was great! Thanks 🙏🏽

01:16:40
“I don’t believe in monogamy or marriage because everyone cheats”

01:16:43
Thanks @averywilliams! Demisexual here

01:16:49
What if we try to communicate but the person always avoids communication even though everything he does shows intrest

01:16:50
Let them grow!!

01:16:50
happy pride month

01:16:59
Fuck that

01:17:05
Can I also redefine the phrase “having children”

01:17:07
Haha

01:17:13
Trust the universe

01:17:20
hahaha this is so great!

01:17:25
Stop controlling your reality

01:17:27
Mark you are the man

01:17:33
Yes!!!

01:17:35
I am new to dating after healing from a divorce and I feel so confused by the breadcrumbing between dating apps and social media. I feel so confused by it and it feels like a flag land. I just can’t tell what is normal and what is red.

01:17:39
@NAT the worst.

01:17:40
The universe has your back listen to it

01:17:41
Ha! Great analogy Mark 🌳🌲

01:17:47
Let go and flow

01:17:54
What happens when someone says we don’t see the world in the same ways !!

01:17:55
Will there be a chance to see the replay. Yourwebinar is frozen( here in Canada ). Getting no sound

01:17:59
Yes, Brie!

01:18:00
You are both so good, love this!!!! 🙌

01:18:07
@avery and @gina - I am demi/queer too <3 happy pride/wrath ;)

01:18:13
incredible webinar

01:18:18
You , I have to get ok with the uniqueness and difference of the other - and con i trust that that difference isn’t going to get bigger

01:18:18
Like how do you explore that question

01:18:24
Yaaay @polly

01:18:26
@Maliha wish it could be different. Or wish I could do a hypnosis and remove him from my mind lol

01:18:27
Leslie great book by Gabrielle Bernstein. Read most of her books!

01:18:36
Love her

01:18:39
Hahaha that totally happened to me tho bc I said I wanted marriage and kids lmao

01:18:43
@brie take Mark's dating course- LEGIT life changing!!

01:18:47
Lmao I hear you.

01:18:47
I need to define my words for marriage it’s so different from the norm

01:18:50
Thank you

01:19:03
Will this recording be available for us to hear after and send to all of our friends

01:19:03
Question: The love of my life died in January. I’ve done a lot of healing, but I wonder if I’m hanging onto my grief because I’m terrified of getting back out into the dating world. Romanticizing what could have been makes me feel safe in a strange way. How do I tell the difference between true grief and avoidance in my behavior? How do I move beyond it?

01:19:04
No video feed either 🙁

01:19:04
Alignment

01:19:13
fortunately! that's what we're here for!

01:19:14
Breakups are hard regardless. Have it legal aspects doesn’t make I harder emotionally, maybe he is just afraid of that level of commitment in general…that’s worth a talk

01:19:17
Need to bump into grown up men but again, there are 40 - 50 year olds who aint ready!! :_

01:19:18
Do you believe that if having an anxious attachment you can’t/shouldn’t be with an avoidant?

01:19:19
Relationship 101

01:19:19
Why do I keep pushing people away

01:19:19
We love you so much

01:19:21
thank you both for your time. it's been fantastic, ive made so many notes

01:19:23
someday maybe I'll learn lol

01:19:24
Really enjoyed this. I have some learning and exploration to do. Thank you Mark and Vienna!

01:19:24
thank you both!

01:19:24
Thank you!!

01:19:24
Thank u!!!

01:19:25
Thank you both

01:19:25
👏

01:19:26
Thank you!!!!!!!!1

01:19:27
Thank you!

01:19:27
Thank you sooo much

01:19:27
Thank you both!!!

01:19:27
So grateful!!

01:19:27
Amazing guys!!

01:19:28
Thank you!!!!!

01:19:28
Thank you Mark & Vienna

01:19:28
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

01:19:28
Thank you!

01:19:28
Thank you!!!!

01:19:29
You guys are awesome!!

01:19:29
I should be a red flag expert now!!

01:19:29
Thank you!!

01:19:29
Rematching! Thank you both! XO

01:19:29
yaaay for recordings!

01:19:30
Thank you!

01:19:30
thanks guy! awesome!

01:19:30
Thank you both very interesting!

01:19:30
@gina. I am in the same boat

01:19:31
Thank you both so much for your time! :)

01:19:31
Thank you both!! 💗💗💗🤸💗

01:19:31
Thanks a lot!!!!

01:19:31
thank you 🙏🏻

01:19:31
Thank youuu

01:19:31
Amazing!!!!!!!

01:19:31
thank you!!

01:19:31
Thanks so much!

01:19:31
thank you both! <3

01:19:32
Loved it!

01:19:32
If we wanted to explore some of these topics discussed today further, what are next steps?

01:19:32
Thank you so much!

01:19:32
thank you, this could not have been better

01:19:32
Thank you 🙏

01:19:33
Thank you!,,,

01:19:33
This was awesome!!!!!!

01:19:33
thank you

01:19:33
Thank you!!!

01:19:33
Thank you

01:19:34
Thank you!!!

01:19:34
Thank you both!

01:19:35
Thank you so much!!

01:19:35
Thank you both!!!

01:19:35
this was so insightful. thank you!

01:19:35
❤️❤️❤️

01:19:35
amazing work. thank you both.

01:19:36
Thanks to both of you. Xxx

01:19:36
You guys are awesome!!!!!! Thank you!!!

01:19:36
Yay!

01:19:37
Thank-you both.

01:19:38
Thanks!

01:19:38
Thank you!!

01:19:38
thank you both! my two fave IG love gurus!

01:19:38
we need more!

01:19:38
Thanks so much

01:19:38
Thank you!

01:19:38
THANK YOUUUU

01:19:38
Thank you!

01:19:39
Thank you <3 BOTH

01:19:40
Thank you guys!

01:19:40
I'm so sorry Gina..I can't imagine..🙏💖

01:19:40
Thank you both for such an informative session

01:19:40
loved

01:19:40
Thank you both for running this - excellent!

01:19:40
Thank you so much :)

01:19:40
Thank you! ❤️

01:19:40
link in chat?

01:19:40
Thank you

01:19:41
I love you guys, follow you BOTH on Insta <3

01:19:41
Thank you!!!!!

01:19:42
THANKS!!

01:19:42
don't goooo!!!!

01:19:42
thank you:) looking forward to watching the whole thing

01:19:42
So insightful!

01:19:43
Thank you

01:19:44
@mindfulmft

01:19:44
Thank you so much for this session <3

01:19:45
Thank you both!!!

01:19:46
Thank you so much! Loved it!

01:19:46
Thank you!!!

01:19:47
Thank you very much, I appreciate it very much

01:19:48
Thankful for this, THANK YOU

01:19:48
@createthelove

01:19:48
Thank youuuu

01:19:48
thank you for giving me your time!

01:19:49
Join Mine’d guys

01:19:49
I wished I was in NYC LOL

01:19:50
this has been insightful

01:19:52
Thank you both

01:19:53
Thank you both .Mark ... are you going to have tacos 🌮 now ? 😂

01:19:53
Thank you both so much!!

01:19:54
Much gratitude - be well!

01:19:56
Thanks for this incredible webinar and your big GIVES to us. Love you both, thank you so so much <33333 Sending lots of love to all the beauties in this chat! <3

01:19:56
Vienna is the best ever!!

01:19:56
Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today. Loved listening to this!

01:19:56
thank you Marc and Vienna!!

01:19:57
Thank you!

01:19:59
Thank you, this was amazing!

01:19:59
Very insightful, thank you for your time!

01:20:00
thanks from Toronto, CANADA !!!

01:20:00
http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/

01:20:01
thank you for this session! I am working on myself to heal using these topics raised

01:20:02
Thank you so much

01:20:03
Thank you!!!

01:20:05
Thank you, @Nikki

01:20:06
Thank you so much for this <3

01:20:07
Thank you both. This has been so informative

01:20:08
Thank you 🙏

01:20:10
https://createthelove.com/

01:20:11
The BEST thank you so gratful

01:20:11
thanks so much! this call had lots of great helpful information🙃

01:20:11
Thank you so much!

01:20:12
=Thank you both of you!

01:20:13
Thank you guys! Great chat

01:20:13
thank you

01:20:13
Thank you!

01:20:14
thanks!😊

01:20:14
Thank you soooo much! This was incredible! Love Mine’dCongrats on the baby! ✨✨✨

01:20:14
love the mine'd app!!!

01:20:14
thank you <3

01:20:15
Mark is the best person!!

01:20:17
Thank you Mark and Vienna, love and gratitude to you both!! Xoxo

01:20:17
Thanks so much 🙏

01:20:18
thank you

01:20:18
thank you!

01:20:18
Ty Joanna!

01:20:23
Thank you so much from Sydney

01:20:23
Miss you. Happy to see you. 🥰

01:20:23
Thank you!!!

01:20:23
Thank you so much!!!

01:20:24
Thank you both!!!!

01:20:24
Thank you!

01:20:26
Thank you!!

01:20:26
Thank you!! This was eye opening

01:20:27
Vienna you're so prettyyy

01:20:27
Thank you, Mark and Vienna!! 👊🏻

01:20:28
Love you Mark!!!

01:20:28
https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/?hl=en

01:20:28
Thank you both!! 🙏

01:20:29
thank you both ❤️❤️❤️

01:20:29
Thank you so much

01:20:30
thank you so much

01:20:30
You two rock!! Thank you

01:20:33
Thank you!!!!!

01:20:34
Thank you so much Mark and Vienna! Amazing thinking points :)

01:20:37
taking that now!

01:20:38
Mark waiting for your next seminar in Vancouver when it opens up

01:20:38
You both are magic!!

01:20:39
Thankyou !!! This was so helpful !!

01:20:39
yesssss! yay for Dating 101! <3

01:20:40
Dating 101 YESSSSSS

01:20:40
Thank you both!! Great session!! Mark you where my favorite!!

01:20:41
thank you!

01:20:42
still trying to get thru week 3 of dating 101 lol

01:20:42
Ya boy 101

01:20:43
https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/?hl=en

01:20:43
Thank you both!

01:20:43
Taking it now!

01:20:44
thank you both for this great opportunity to be here 🙂

01:20:45
thanks you two!

01:20:46
This was exactly what I needed to hear today, thank you both so much for this!!

01:20:46
Thank you!

01:20:46
Loved this!! Thanks!!

01:20:47
DATING 101 is changing my "game"

01:20:47
Good night

01:20:47
thank you!!! ❤️🧡❤️🧡

01:20:47
Thanks so much!

01:20:47
<3

01:20:47
thanks

01:20:47
Thanks!!!!!

01:20:48
I am doing the wholeness course and it’s very enlightening.

01:20:48
thank you!

01:20:48
Thank you

01:20:48
you two are doing great

01:20:49
Thank you!!!

01:20:49
You guys are the best! 💛

01:20:49
Thanks!

01:20:49
best to you

01:20:49
Love to you !!

01:20:49
DATING IS DOPE