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Recognizing Red Flags: A Free Live Webinar ft. Vienna Pharaon | 6.10.21 - Shared screen with speaker view
Fleur
21:18
Hi!!
AmyS
21:28
Hi
sara balbas
21:29
Hi
Peter Middleton
21:31
hi!
averywilliams
21:31
hi hello!
Dan Johansen
21:32
Hello from Providence!
Leslie
21:32
So excited!!
Courtney Crispin
21:32
Hi everyone!
caitlyn
21:32
Hey!!
Taylor
21:33
hello :)
Rob
21:33
Hey fam!
Jenna
21:35
Hey!
Steffi DiDomenicantonio
21:35
Hiiiii!! Thank you for doing this!!
Danielle
21:36
Hello!!
Avalon Rehn
21:36
Hi from Los Angeles!
Claire Morley
21:36
Hey!!!
Angela Sanchez
21:36
Hola!
TCOYD - Sarah Severance - CME
21:37
Hi from San Diego
Yalidy (Ja-lee-dee) Matos
21:38
Hi everyone!
Valencia Carol Claire
21:38
Hi everyone!
Jordan Leigh
21:38
Been waiting for this all week!
Amy
21:38
hi from Ottawa
Kelly Eyer
21:38
Hello!
Nhu Richie (she/her)
21:39
Chao!
Claudia Sanchez
21:39
Hi everyone!!
Steph
21:39
It's so good to see you both! Missed you Vienna!
Kareen Kotwa
21:40
Hi👋
Gary Gottselig
21:40
Hey Everyone!! :)
Viviane
21:40
Hi from Salt Lake City!
Hanna
21:40
Happy Thursday!
Roocy
21:41
Hello
Julie
21:41
hi
Marlene
21:41
Hello!!
089346
21:42
Hey from ontario
Jennifer Peruzzaro
21:42
Hi!!
Chelsea
21:42
Hi everyone 😊
Nicole
21:42
hi!
Heidi
21:42
Hi from Scotland
Adrienne Lee
21:43
Hello from Santa Cruz, CA!
Alexandra Milano
21:43
Hi from NYC!
Megan
21:43
Hi from NJ!
Azahara Martinez
21:43
Looking good guys! Hi from Mount pleasant, Vancouver!
Dale Woods
21:44
hi from the uk
Julia Chigrina
21:44
Hi from Washington DC!
Wenonah
21:44
Hi from Toronto!
Oliver Fecko
21:44
Hello
tali
21:44
Hi from Santa Cruz!!!!
Barbara Watkins
21:44
Hi. I’m so excited!
elinarudkovsky
21:45
Hi from NY - this is so exciting!
Atoosa
21:45
Hello from Atlanta!
Kate Donahue
21:45
hello!!
Jo
21:46
Hi everyone!
Dawn
21:46
👋
Cady Macon (she/her)
21:46
Hi from St. Louis!
Carrie C
21:46
Hello from Fort Worth, TX
ANA
21:46
Hey from Toronto
Nikki
21:46
OMG!! Hiiii!!! 😁
Tanishka Chawla
21:46
Hello from India!
Alex Taschuk
21:46
Hello from Calgary ALberta Canada!!!!
Gary Gottselig
21:46
Hi From Vancouver BC :)
Kendra
21:46
Hiiiii! Excited to see you both team up for this. I follow you both on IG!
Heidi D
21:47
Hi from Stillwater, MN
Erin H
21:47
Hello!
Christina
21:47
Hi!
Stephanie Towning
21:47
hello from Oklahoma
greg iglesia
21:48
Hey yall
Kealin
21:48
hiiiiii
Sonya
21:48
Hello from San Diego, Cali
Dominique Krauch
21:49
hi from Portugal
FARNOOSH
21:49
Hi from Vancouver, Canada 💕
Alex Taschuk
21:50
SO EXCITED FOR THIS
caitlyn
21:50
This is my first time using zoom 😂
Lynn Calderoni
21:50
hello from CT
Mark (Toronto ON Canada)
21:50
Greetings from Toronto ON Canada
Kat
21:51
Hi from Tokyo! ✨
ANA
21:51
Cant wait for this talk
Hsiufan Yu
21:51
Hi
Jessica Kristy
21:51
Hi, everyone! Excited for this!
Tara
21:52
Hi from Camano Island, WA
Claudia Alviso ✨
21:52
Hi from México
Revinka Dias
21:53
Hi, so glad to be on here
Thalia Brito
21:53
HI from NYC!
Whitney Bishop
21:53
Hello!!
Oliver Fecko
21:53
Hello from Prague!
Val R
21:54
My fav people! My daughters name is Vienna <3
Spencer Brinson
21:54
Hello from Bend, OR
Dina
21:54
Hello
Chelsea
21:54
coming in from Alberta, Canada 🇨🇦
Jennifer
21:54
Hello from Victoria BC
Judith Z
21:54
Hi from Amsterdam
doug
21:55
What up from Portland!
Nikki
21:55
from Miami, FL 😊
Tiffany
21:55
Hi all! Thank you for this event!
Adrienne Lee
21:55
Hello from Santa Cruz, CA! :)
Sue Chapple
21:55
Hi from Australia!
Jennifer Turner
21:56
Hi From Hawaii!!
Sarah K
21:56
Hi from San Diego!
Vanessa Medina
21:56
Hi from Costa Rica!
Stephanie
21:56
Hello from Seattle
Celeste Esparza
21:56
Heyyyyyy from Covina, CA
Rebecca Tucker
21:57
Hi from Colorado :)
P
21:57
Hello
Ajo
21:57
Hi from Indiana!!
Claire Morley
21:58
Hey from Costa Rica :)
Julianne Reynolds (she/her)
21:58
Hi from Philly!
Stephanie Gonzales
21:58
Hi! super excited for this!
Veronica Morera
21:58
Hello from Ontario, Canada!
Brigitte Bourque
21:59
Bonjours from Atlantic Canada 🍁
Michelle
21:59
Hi from Australia!
Bárbara
22:00
Hi from Brazil
Bonnie
22:00
Hi!!!
Adriana
22:00
hi from LA, big fan here!!!
Sophie C
22:00
Hi from London!
Corazon ♥️
22:01
hello from the Philippines!!
Kristina
22:03
Hi Vienna and Mark! Love your content
Tammara
22:03
Hello!! Tammara from Cali!!!
Jessica
22:03
Hello from New York
Katie
22:04
Hi from California
Lena
22:04
Hi from Berlin
Jean Caprio
22:04
Hi guys from South Fla!
Yalidy (Ja-lee-dee) Matos
22:05
Hello from Philly!
Whitney Bishop
22:05
Whats up from Charlotte, NC
Haley Leiter
22:06
Hi from Raleigh, NC!
Leslie
22:06
You’re the best!!
Jenna
22:06
Late night from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
shar
22:06
HIII. happy to be here....Vernon Canada :)
Tara-lee
22:06
Hi!! From Alberta Canada 🇨🇦
Amanda Dutton
22:06
Hi from NY!
Emma Lewis
22:07
Kelowna BC! Hello :)
Katrina Baxter-Moore
22:08
Hey from Vancouver Canada :)
Sina Dirks
22:08
Hi from Germany :)
Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)
22:08
Stef from Knoxville TN
Jill DiCandia
22:09
Love you guys 💙
Sarah Sather
22:09
Hi from Regina, SK Canada!
tina
22:09
Hi, hope you’re well. Tina from Essex, England
Mistie
22:09
Hi from texas :)
Jen Day
22:10
Portland, OR
Catherine Galfano
22:10
Hi from Seattle
Jenna Stajduhar
22:10
Holla from Northern Colorado!
Natalie Fardell
22:10
Hi from Sydney Australia
Peter Winkler
22:10
Hello from Torquay Australia 🤙🏼
Monika Aniszewska
22:11
Hi from Poland! Already midnight here :D
Beth Hansen
22:11
Hi from Wisconsin!!
tali
22:11
Lol !!!
Your Teacher Agneta Lindberg
22:11
Hi from Agneta, the Swede🇸🇪 in London UK 🇬🇧
Ellen Price
22:11
Hello! Ellen from Columbia Mo
Clare Anderson
22:11
Hi there! So excited for this!!
sara-rosegarcia
22:11
Hello from Minnesota
Ni
22:11
Hiiiiiiiii. I miss you such much. Happy to see you guys
Bri Manche
22:12
Hi from Maryland!
Clay Dube
22:12
Hello! Vancouver BC!
Casey
22:12
Hello from Calgary Alberta
Chelsea Woodman
22:12
Hey from Calgary!
Dale Woods
22:13
Hi from the UK
Kim Rondina
22:13
Hi from Phoenix!
Katie
22:13
Love mark!
Wenonah
22:13
Hi from Toronto!
Marlene
22:13
Hi from San Antonio!
Ms. Justine
22:13
Greetings from Oklahoma :)
Erin Robichaud
22:13
Hello from Edmonton Alberta Canada!
kirstykwhyte@btinternet.com
22:13
Hi everyone, from the UK
Courtney Deakle
22:14
Hi from North Carolina!
Lexy
22:14
Hi from San Diego!
Alicia
22:15
So excited for this! hoping there's a replay to take notes.
AC
22:15
Hi from Washington DC!
Eric C
22:15
Hi from Rhode Island
Karina Mancebo
22:15
Will this be recorded and sent out as a replay?
Chelsea Pimentel
22:15
Hi from Fenton, MI
McKenzie Utter
22:16
Hi from Costa Rica!
Heather Rhoden
22:16
Hi! From New Jersey !
Kimberly Mills
22:16
Hi from Austin, TX
Karen Barraza
22:16
Hellooooo
Samara M.
22:16
Hi from South Florida!!
Adriana (Portugal)
22:16
Hi from PORTUGAL 🇵🇹
Jessalynn
22:16
Hello from Austin, TX
tali
22:16
Lol
Azahara Martinez
22:17
HELP GUYS HAHAHA
Natalie Blazevich
22:17
Hi from Pittsburgh :)
Amanda
22:17
Hi from toronto
Keri
22:17
hello from ontario!
Joanna Filipov
22:17
Hi Everybody!
Rosemarie Rosén
22:18
Hi from Sweden!
Tamara
22:18
Hello from Vancouver BC
Amy Strutzel
22:18
Hello from Amy in Chicago
Atoosa
22:18
Hello from Atlanta!
Theresa
22:18
Hey from Denver, CO!
L M
22:18
Hi from Dublin Ireland :)
Tina Durbin, Reel Change, LLC (she/her/hers)
22:18
Hi from Kentucky.
Lisa
22:18
Hey! from Sunny San Diego :)
melanie
22:18
Hi from Dublin Ireland 🤙
moniquesam
22:18
Hi from Florida!!!(:
hilary
22:18
Hi from Calgary
bwamboi
22:19
Hi from Portugal!
Jordyn Bowen
22:19
Hi from Perth Australia, its early!
rachel (they/them)
22:19
hi from alabama ☻
Tara Radke
22:19
Hello from Tucson, AZ!
Jennifer
22:19
Hiii From MB Canada!
katherinebenkerboral
22:20
Hi from Seminole land, Orlando Florida
Kobie
22:20
Hey hey from Sydney!
Cara Petrini
22:21
Hi from Boston!
Dale Woods
22:21
thank you for doing this <3
Cynthia Baird
22:21
Hello from Nova Scotia
meg123
22:22
hello 🙂
Kristina Calderon
22:23
Hello from St Pete FL!!
Elena Tchalakov
22:23
Hi from WA!!!
Tara-lee
22:23
So grateful for this!! 🙏🏻❤️
Christa Mariash
22:23
Hi from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada!
Tiffany Gerlinger
22:23
Hi from New Orleans!! :)
Desirée
22:24
Hello from Calgary, Alberta!
Jazmin
22:25
Jazmin from EL Paso, TX
Hanna
22:25
Hi from Oregon!
violeta herrera
22:25
Hi from Byron Bay, Australia
Genevieve Kang
22:25
Hey from Vancouver!
Leia
22:25
Hello from Chapel Hill!
taravonschmidt
22:25
Tara from CT!
averywilliams
22:26
hi from charlotte, nc
Bryana Intelisano
22:26
Hi Bryana from NYC!
Jill DiCandia
22:26
Hi from Belmar NJ
Jules
22:26
Hello from Chicago! 💛
Alexandra Graves
22:26
Hi from Calgary, AB
Megan Pounder
22:27
Hi from Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario! :)
Lindsey Dollar
22:27
Hello from Metro Detroit!
Emily Purdon
22:27
Greetings from Ontario Canada! :D
Sarah Stevenson
22:28
Hello from Blue Lake, CA :)
Bella A
22:28
Hi from Kuwait :)
Pauline Mousseau (she/her)
22:28
Joining spontaneously from Red Deer, AB
katherinewest
22:28
Hi from Atlanta
Marie-Christine
22:28
Hello from Montreal !! 🤩
christyradecic
22:28
San Diego in the house!!!
Trish
22:28
Hi from VA
Valencia Carol Claire
22:28
Hi from North Atlanta.
Joanna Filipov
22:29
Remember to write to Panelists and Attendees!
Dena
22:29
Hi from Seattle, WA!
Kim
22:29
Hi from Buffalo!!
Siv
22:30
Hi from Chicago ! :)
Anna
22:30
Hello everyone!!!
Petra
22:30
Actually, this is my first time on Zoom. But Hi anyway! From the Netherlands here.
Sonal Jogia
22:30
Heyyy from Spain!!
C. Slaughter
22:31
Hello from Philadelphia
Taylor
22:31
Hello
Jenny Cruickshank
22:31
Hello!!!! from Bend Oregon
Kris
22:31
Hiiiii from Massachusetts!!! I’m so excited for this 🥰
Jen Day
22:31
Portland, OR, USA
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
22:31
Hello from Palm Beach!!
Georgiana Mukasa
22:32
Hi from New York.
Tricia Kenyon
22:32
Hi from Solana Beach, CA!!
Julie
22:32
hi from Vancouver, cad
Kim
22:32
Hello 👋
Melanie Schweizer
22:33
Hi from Seville, Spain!
Bethany Fisackerly
22:33
hi from Gainesville!
James Grigas
22:33
Hi from Newport Beach 🙂
yvonne wagner
22:33
Hello from Dallas!!
Jennifer Walker
22:33
Manchester, UK
ynewton
22:33
Hi from the Bay Area
jody
22:33
Hi ! From PA ! 😘
Kathryn
22:33
Hi from Nevadaaaaaa
Sarah Troy
22:33
Hello from Toronto! :)
Goldie
22:34
Hi from California
Julianne
22:34
Hi from Ottawa, Canada!
Jean Caprio
22:34
So good to see both of you!!
Jen
22:34
Hi from Banff
Leah
22:34
Hi from Maple Ridge, BC 👋🏻
Tara Radke
22:35
Hello from Tucson, AZ!
Leslie
22:35
So fun!!
Alicia
22:35
Hi from Ireland!
Jayne Hong
22:35
Orange County, CA
Ang
22:35
Hiiiiii from Calgary!!
Guergana
22:35
Hi from Austria
Tammy
22:36
So pumped! Hello from Saskatoon! 🐞🌿🎶
jen
22:36
Hey! Tuning in from VA :) so excited 😆
Deb Stewart
22:36
Washington DC says hello!
Natalie Blazevich
22:36
Hi from Pittsburgh :)
Jimena gioino
22:37
fron Argentina
MICHOU
22:37
Vancouver BC
Tina Durbin, Reel Change, LLC (she/her/hers)
22:37
Hi from Kentucky.
Jasmine
22:38
hello! Jasmine from Vancouver
Alexandra Milano
22:38
Hi from NYC!
Maliha Gangat
22:38
Hellooo from Toronto!!!
Jenna
22:38
Hey from scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
Kailey Larson
22:39
Hi from Squamish, BC!
Nicole
22:39
hu! from chicago!
Dina
22:39
Hello from Egypt
Dayana Argoti
22:40
Hi from Boston, living in the Bay Area
Elizabeth Shelley
22:40
Hi from Asbury Park NJ!
Whitney Bishop
22:40
Howdy Ho from Charlotte, NC!
Lake Tullis
22:40
Kansas city
Jackie Pecquex
22:40
Hey from Denver
Melissa Spence
22:41
Las Vegas!!!!
Amanda
22:41
Hello from San Diego!!!! :) :)
Jenni Meskus
22:41
Hi all from Squamish BC Canada
Rachel Kiehnau
22:41
Hello from Michigan!!!
Meg
22:41
Vancouver!
Samantha
22:42
🤗
Catherine Davis
22:42
Ontario Canada 🇨🇦
Melissa Malone
22:42
Sydney, Australia
Casey (Casshawndra) Barber
22:42
Hi from Canada!
Vanessa Incani
22:42
Hello from Edmonton-Canada
Melissa Rodríguez
22:42
Mexico
Laura
22:42
Hi from Belgium!
Thalia Brito
22:42
HI from NYC!
Jessica
22:42
Hi from sunny Orlando :)
Annie Lukey
22:42
Hi from Houston!!
Erin Clark
22:43
Hello from Montana
Celena
22:43
HI FROM West Covina!
Mara
22:43
Hi from Germany :-) excited!
megan aoki
22:43
UTAH
Nhu Richie (she/her)
22:43
Vietnam!
Lynn Calderoni
22:43
Much love from CT
mary
22:43
Charleston SC! Hi!!
caitlyn
22:44
From australiaaaaa
Gaelle
22:44
Hi from Scotland!
Katie Branscum
22:45
Hi from Cleveland, OH!!!
elmiraziaei
22:45
LA
Gina
22:45
Can barely hear Mark...
Ida
22:45
Hello from Germany :)!
Karen
22:45
Hi from Uk
Michelle
22:45
Nashville
rebecca
22:45
hi from Melbourne Australia
Oliver Fecko
22:45
Prague!
AMBER
22:45
hi from Ontario canada
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
22:46
San Diego Calif
Michaeline (she/her)
22:46
Hi from Chicago!
Linda
22:46
Hi! Truckee, CA
Rach
22:47
Aloha from Hawaii
Kelly Bietola
22:47
Hello from Banff!
Courtney Crispin
22:47
San Francisco!
Revinka Dias
22:47
from Qatar
Judith Z
22:47
Amsterdam <3
Constantine Johns
22:47
Portland, OR
Madi Barney
22:48
Austin TX!
Sheila Arias
22:48
HI From Jersey city!!
Mc
22:48
hi from sydney Australia
Ashley Stewart
22:48
Hi!!!! From Tucson, Arizona!
Natalie Fraser
22:48
Hi from Sydney
Erin OLeary
22:48
Berlin!
Stephanie W
22:48
Hi from Vancouver BC!
Kim Kerr
22:49
Hi from Park City, Utah
tamara spinatsch
22:49
Torontooooooooooo
Amy Wolgemuth
22:49
Edmonton, AB
Lana Swanson
22:49
Hi from Nelson, BC!
Maleknaz Nayebi
22:49
Hi from TO!
elizabethanncarter
22:49
Hi from Fort Collins, CO
Katie Delgado
22:49
Minnesota!
Emilly Dubeau
22:49
Hi from Ontario!
Annie Lukey
22:49
H Town Texas!!!
Hsiufan Yu
22:50
Hi from Melbourne
Sylvia Reilly
22:50
Hola from Quito, Ecuador!
Cindy
22:50
San Diego
Veronica Morera
22:50
Ontario Canada ✨✨✨
Sherry Wooten
22:50
Hi guys! Mark you’re the best!
Jazmin
22:50
Jazmin from EL Paso, TX
Jax
22:50
There are red flags globally! :P
Paty
22:51
hi from Los Angeles !
Fiona Luke
22:51
Hi Fi from Australia
Jenna Strusowski
22:51
Hey from Philadelphia
Sasha
22:51
hi from Vancouver, BC.
Kat OBryant
22:51
Hi from DC!
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
22:52
PalmBeach
Susan
22:52
Hi from Los Angeles!
khushboo
22:52
Hello i am Khushboo from INDIA
Jessica Kristy
22:52
What’s up y’all! Love from Toronto
Alicia
22:52
I love your stuff and page, from Ontario Canada 🇨🇦
katherinebenkerboral
22:52
Hi from seminole land…Orlando fl
Alex Taschuk
22:52
Calgary!!!
Lara
22:53
Miami
Kera Hosein
22:53
Hi from Trinidad & Tobago
Jamie Love (she/her)
22:53
Ithaca NY
Shari K :)
22:53
Hi from Philly
Christina Calabrese
22:53
Hi from New York!
Bojana
22:53
Dubai 💋
Gina
22:54
hi from vancouver bc :)
Stephanie F
22:54
Murfreesboro, Arkansas
Raychel Hessler
22:54
Hi from New York
mikaldobbins
22:54
Hi from South Carolina!
Nhu Richie (she/her)
22:54
Hanoi, Vietnam!
Amel Catherine
22:54
Hi from Liverpool
Sophie C
22:55
London!!!!
KK
22:55
Hello from Texas!
Gillian Roberts
22:55
Hello from Los Angeles!
Zoë Clark
22:55
UK
Sandra Rodríguez
22:55
from colombia
Nikki
22:55
Hello from Miami, FL I've watched all your videos!! 😁
Donna
22:55
Metro Detroit, MI
Julia M Lasker
22:55
Austin, TX
Ganiyat
22:55
Hi from New Jersey USA
Suzy
22:55
Hi Mark! Vienna! Hello from West Sussex! So needing this session! ❤️
robb
22:56
hey from sawtell australia
Amy
22:56
Hey from Banff
Jana
22:56
Prince Edward Island, Canada
powelln
22:56
Calgary, AB
Darren Mackay
22:56
Vancouver!
Nhu Richie (she/her)
22:56
: )
Taylor Moreno
22:56
VISTA, CA
María
22:57
Heeey from Mexico !!!
Erica Tat
22:57
Houston, TX 🤗
Rachel B
22:57
Hi from Bay Area, CA!
Elisabeth Thomas
22:57
Hello from Germany~
Marc
22:58
Hi from Los Angeles!
Roberto Madrigal
22:58
Hi from Mexico city
Tracy
22:58
Hi from Singapore!
hana chan (she/her)
22:58
Hello from San Luis Obispo California :)
stefanie.berger
22:58
Hi from NYC
TINA
22:58
Hello from Stillwater Minnesota
Tanishka Chawla
22:58
India!!
Luis Chou
22:59
Hi from Honduras!
Sharisse Kimbro
22:59
Hi from Evanston IL
sara-rosegarcia
22:59
Minnesota
Sarah Tamimi
22:59
Hello, Indonesia
Sara Ford
22:59
Hi from Seattle!
Amanda
23:00
Hey from Vancouver Canada!
stacy
23:00
Hi From Houston!
sanj
23:00
Hi from Vancouver 🇨🇦
Shana
23:00
Hello from Toronto, Canada!
Victoria
23:00
Melbourne too
Ren
23:00
Langley, BC, Canada
Beth Hansen
23:00
Hi from Wisconsin!!
Lisa Börsch
23:00
Hi from Germany, late at night!
tina
23:01
San Diego, CA
katherine
23:01
Vancouver BC!
P
23:01
Hello 👋 👋
Jasamin Choo
23:01
Netherlands
Colleen Reid
23:01
NYC is the house
Kit Kat
23:01
Sydney australia
Linda Weiss
23:01
Hi from Adelaide, Australia 🤗
Janet
23:01
Johannesburg
Ana
23:01
Hi from the United Arab Emirates!
maria
23:02
Mexico
Beth
23:02
hi from Buffalo NY
Veronika Wislocka
23:02
Hi from Wales!
lindsay
23:02
Hi from Belgium :)
AnnMarie
23:03
Daphne AL here
Mandy
23:03
Enhland
Jen Day
23:03
HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN REGISTER FOR THIS THING?
Whitney Moon
23:03
Bay Area CA
Azahara Martinez
23:03
BARCELONAAAAAAA
Safiyah
23:03
Hi from Ontario Canada!!
Lizette Montesinos
23:03
HI from NYC
Maliha Gangat
23:04
Natalie !! Are you here?? Lol
Nancy Jonap
23:04
New Jersey!
Taimi
23:04
Edinburgh Scotland !!
Nisa
23:04
Hi from Chicago!
Stacey Hynes
23:04
Hi from Melbourne!!
Christine
23:04
arizona
Karen Barraza
23:04
Washington, DC
Noor
23:04
Hi from Bahrain!
mariangelly
23:04
Miami FL!!
Kasia
23:05
Hi from Miami!
tamara spinatsch
23:05
Toorontooooooooo
S White
23:05
Hi from Brooklyn, NY
Gina
23:05
thank u for making this webinar
Sho Eli
23:05
Hi! San Diego!!
Inge
23:05
Gran canaria
Suzie Mills
23:06
Northern Ireland
Jordan
23:06
Hi from Mammoth Lakes, CA!
Chad Beliveau
23:06
From Boston. Love what you do!
Bonnie
23:07
Florida here 😁
Meghan M
23:07
Boston!
Malaika Murry
23:07
Hi! from Houston,tx
kenzie
23:08
New Zealand xx
Heidi C
23:08
Hello from Maple Ridge!! lol
Kareen Kotwa
23:08
Hi from Barrie, Ontario, Canada🇨🇦
lea khoury
23:09
hii from beirutt
Misty
23:09
San Jose, CA
BT
23:10
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST ❤️ From Beautiful British Columbia!
Alexis
23:10
Dallas
Adriana V.
23:11
Sydney 🇦🇺
Jennifer Baughman
23:11
Jen from Asheville NC
alecia
23:11
lets do this!! :) Alecia from Nebraska !
Karina Parent
23:12
hi Kelowna BC Canada
Meghan M
23:12
Boston!
Elisabeth
23:12
Hi from Connecticut
Veronica Gomes
23:13
Hi I am from Philly
Karla Gregory
23:13
hello, from Montana
Mandy
23:13
Hi from the uk
Dina Marie
23:13
Hi From. Roseville, CA
heather lewis
23:13
Vienna can you get the mic closer its hard to hear you?
Rachel Fecteau
23:13
Hello. here from Quebec city
Zoë Clark
23:13
England!
Annie
23:13
Phoenix, Arizona!
Jasamin Choo
23:14
Netherlands 👋👋👋👋👋
Forrest
23:14
CALIFORNIA
Tamara
23:15
Hello from DC!
Karen
23:15
Hi :)
Susan
23:16
Hi from Cranbrook, BC
Gigi
23:16
Hi from Vancouver!
Lina L.
23:16
BOOGEY DOWN BRONX!
Taimi
23:17
meow
Jena Saleri
23:17
Jena from Santa Cruz California!
Jules
23:17
So excited & grateful to be here with you!
Tracy
23:18
Hi from Singapore! Much loveee
Nikki Taylor
23:18
Hervey Bay QLD Australia
Nada
23:19
Hi from Ottawa
Amy
23:19
Hi from Australia 🇦🇺
CHRISTINE PRONISHEN
23:19
Christine from St Albert, Alberta
Melissa Sanchez
23:21
hi from San Diego!
Anna
23:21
Hi from Finland 🙂
Sandra Rodríguez
23:23
Congratulations Vienna !!!
Jean Caprio
23:23
Congrats!!!!!
Rachel
23:24
Hiiii from North Saanich...other side of the pond!!
Lini
23:24
Hi from Toronto! <3
Sonia Dhuga
23:25
hello from canada
Lara R
23:26
Hi from London UK
CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI
23:26
Caroline from NY!
Brittany Rizzo
23:26
Chicago
Sophie
23:27
Hey from Ireland
Marie-Christine
23:27
MONTREAL represent !! Looking forward to the summer and dating 😎🙂
Lidia López .
23:28
Hello from Southern California
laura kelsch
23:29
Hi from White Rock BC
Leslie
23:29
Absolutely
DJ Swanahh
23:30
Saying hi from Dubai, UAE (:
Susan
23:31
So red flags are global apparently 🤣
Alicia
23:32
You're a little quiet, can't hear her well, at least on my device or end
Kristina
23:33
Vienna you look amazing & glowing
Heather Rhoden
23:33
Congratulations!
Doneen Jones
23:33
Hello from NJ
Jen
23:35
Hello from Toronto!
Christy Berrington
23:35
hello from Calgary, AB
violeta herrera
23:39
Hi from Byron Bay, Australia ! :)
Jana
23:41
Prince Edward Island, Canada 🇨🇦
Dila Yolga
23:43
Mark is glowinggg
Nisha Jamal
23:47
2 of my favorites!! great to see you both
Sarah Wiles
23:48
Hi from Ontario, Canada
gillian
23:49
Hi from Ireland.🇨🇮 late night learning 😂
Lynn
23:49
Hi from BC Canada!
Leslie
23:50
Love you two together!!
Lizzy
23:51
san diego in the house
melanie
23:56
Red flags awareness night 🙌🙌
Sandra Rodríguez
23:56
i love you Mark , thank yoy for everything
Leslie
24:00
Best ever!!
Lidia López .
24:01
Hello from Southern California
Chelsea
24:02
Hello! From Utah
Tammy
24:04
@Susan global red flags 😄😆😄👍
tina
24:09
Reminisce
Nadia Larsen
24:14
Vancouver now in Georgia USA!
Natalie Fardell
24:18
Coffee and dating chats to start the day :)
Gina
24:19
Yaaaas
brendabasile
24:19
Hello from Scituate MA! Brenda here…
Talia Weintraub
24:19
Love both of your instagrams!! love from new haven ct :)
Nisha Jamal
24:20
Hello everyone! out here in Seattle
tina a
24:21
Hello!! From Philly, PA
Huda
24:24
Hi from Singapore ☺️🇸🇬 6am now
Izz
24:27
Hello from Cali
Janice Newpton
24:27
Hi from Madeira 🇵🇹
Vanessa Medina
24:30
Hello from Costa Rica!
Sarah Stevenson
24:34
I love the meme of Bob Ross where it says “busy turning red flags into pretty little trees” lol - so accurate
AOTI -
24:36
Hello from Ireland
Johanna
24:41
Ace ! Hello from England, UK .
Cady Macon (she/her)
24:45
Hi from St. Louis!
Kimberly Martin
24:47
Hi from Venice, CA!
Jennifer
24:49
Hello from New Hampshire
Christy Imbriale
24:54
Hello from Atlanta!
Chris Burns
24:54
Hi from Mexico City!!
Rea Shahroudi
24:57
hello from london
Alicia
25:00
can barely her you Vienna
Julie Longchamp
25:01
Hi from Midland, ON
Colin Sipos
25:03
Turn up Vienna’s mic please
Joanna Filipov
25:11
YES
Constantine Johns
25:12
yesss
Maliha Gangat
25:12
Yeahhssss
Katja Brunner
25:13
YES!!!
rachel (they/them)
25:13
yes
Jean Caprio
25:14
Much better
Kimberly Mills
25:15
Austin, TX
Belinda Govatos
25:15
Hi from Utah, USA
Nhu Richie (she/her)
25:16
NO MARK - we just want to talk to you! ; )
Janet
25:16
Johannesburg
Briane Agostinelli
25:17
Hello from Pittsburgh PA
Claudia
25:17
Much better
Angela Sanchez
25:18
🤩
Kimberly Martin
25:18
Check check
Atoosa
25:18
much better
laura kelsch
25:19
Yes
DJ Swanahh
25:19
Dubai, UAE 🇦🇪
Alicia
25:20
yes!
Zoë Clark
25:20
Hi from england
Jennifer
25:21
Yes
Christy Imbriale
25:21
Hi from Atlanta
Dila Yolga
25:22
I hope you answer- What to do with red flags!!!
Marie-Christine
25:22
COVID is making connections harder I feel 🤦‍♀️ people are not available emotionally I feel…
Akua Reid
25:22
Hola!
Jessica
25:23
Eeeeeeeee
brendabasile
25:24
Got it! Brenda is here from Scituate MA
Tamara
25:25
Hi from DC!
Jules
25:26
Yes
Sarah Delicate
25:27
Ontario Canada
ginger
25:27
Hey hey!
Sandra Rodríguez
25:28
heeeellooo everyone
Tara-lee
25:28
Hi from Alberta Canada 🇨🇦
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
25:29
so ready!
Jennifer
25:33
Yes
Lauren Howry
25:34
Hi from California!
gillian
25:34
Hi from late night Ireland 🇨🇮
Ivette L. Galaviz
25:34
Hola from SF!
Brooke Edgecombe
25:34
Hello from D.C.
Leia
25:35
Hi from Chapel Hill, NC
Katie Cavagnaro
25:40
Hi from HTX!
Anna
25:41
Hey from the UK!
Suzana
25:41
hello from Israel!
Angela Harrolle - CEO 100 Club Of Arizona
25:43
Hola from Arizona!
Diane Langille
25:46
hi, from BC, Canada
Holly
25:54
Hi from Portland, Oregon
Meghan M
25:54
How’d you get a page outta my journal, though
Serena
25:56
Hello from London 🇬🇧
Saff
25:57
Hi from Aus
SL
25:57
HI Sonia Leigh Nashville TN
Sarah Stevenson
25:58
lol
Stace
25:58
This one happens A LOT when online dating. It brings out the anxious/avoidant dance
Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3
25:59
Hello everyone! I'm in Calgary, Alberta
Rob
26:02
Anxious…key word there
Sandra Rodríguez
26:05
Vienna you look soooo beautiful !
Sho Eli
26:06
This happens to me all the time!
Tugba Ercan
26:11
great
Tana
26:11
Hi from New Westminster, BC!
Jennifer
26:24
Nice new digs Mark.
Diane Langille
26:25
hi, from BC, Canada
Sakr, Sherif
26:25
Missssssss YOUUUU @Vienna!
Melissa Gough
26:32
Hi from Melbourne Australia
Nisa
26:34
Always want what we can’t have
Deborah Morabito
26:35
ThisThreeCome60#
Jennifer English: Toronto
26:50
push pull … classic
Emily
26:50
Can we please have access to this after it is over? At work 😭
Jordan Leigh
26:52
Why can't people jut say "im no longer interested...." fuck
Diana Tran
27:00
anxious attachment style!!!
Megan
27:04
I think someone being distant feels different when it comes AFTER they are intensely in contact, and even being the initiator of that contact, at the beginning...for the first few weeks or even first few months...
Julie
27:05
can't it be seen as a helpful filter? Why be with someone who doesn't reciprocate?
Huda
27:07
Vienna you’re quite soft
El
27:08
You are really giving information…wow
Diana Tran
27:09
anxious attachment style!
Sho Eli
27:09
@Jordan - Right?!
Nikki
27:14
Jordan exactly..lmao smh...
Corazon ♥️
27:19
hello from the Philippines!!
Dawn
27:20
I’m activated just by you talking about this 😱🤣
Anna
27:24
I cannot hear either of you.
Nikki
27:30
Jordan exactly..lmao
Val R
27:47
yaaaas #guiltyaf
Hayley
27:49
Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want
Tammara
27:51
Control, interesting....
Jean Caprio
27:55
I just started on a dating site, so this is very helpful!
Sarah Delicate
27:58
Also guilt AF
Lizzy
28:06
how do you learn to move on? I have a tendency to hold on. Right now I feel as though I still am interested in this person and want to try again so I don’t regret. Or is it best to let them go since things did end amicably
Priscilla Sugianto
28:09
Why is it so hard redo a toxic pattern/cycle within a relationship? It seems easier to just restart with a new person entirely? How should we know it is best to just let go the existing relationship that is no longer healthy or to continue to work on it?
Megan Kramer
28:17
lol sometimes I turn my phone off if I recognize I’m in this space. It’s helpful!
Hayley
28:24
Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want
Ajo
28:27
How long do you wait to have the what are you after convo? I feel it should be straightforward. But some guys are like this takes time. I’m dating someone who doesn’t want marriage. I’m not in that space either. But I want exclusivity. He’s giving that. He shows up is consistent. He can not promise he will stay exclusive. What does that even mean?
Allie Siroky
28:28
Ohh like I can’t manage my own distress, so they have to manage it for me (by replying within my specified window of time)
Rio
28:32
What if the person used to txt within minutes now the response is the day after your txt?
Gary Gottselig
28:44
I like that. <3
Kelly
28:45
Hi from Brazil
Michelle Williamson
28:46
Hayley, I’m the same way
Gina
28:47
As difficult as it can be, let that shit gooo... cause ya givin yourself hell by worrying about it
L M
28:58
Love the phrase i'm curious
Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)
28:58
@gina YUP
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
29:04
what if they say they are busier with work?
Adriana
29:06
this is relative to being in a relationship right, not when you're first talking/meeting someone (Date 0 or from Online Dating)
Christina
29:06
I stopped asking and just move along...
Sara Johnson
29:09
yea and what if they just pretend to be forgetful repeatedly even though they know how you feel about it
Megan
29:14
How do you know when its anxiety vs having a standard?
AFD
29:18
Love that suggestion for texting.
Rio
29:24
Not busy at all for sure
Michelle Williamson
29:25
MaryBeth that “busy with work” stuff is usually an excuse
Rio
29:27
Lol
Alexandra Milano
29:30
@megan interesting question
Dawn
29:30
I find that whatsapping or texting is a big downfall for me . Need to actually talk more
Petra
29:31
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?
Annie Lukey
29:31
Is taking space always a negative?
Gina
29:31
I make myself more anxious worrying about that shit
averywilliams
29:33
so if they are feeling like they need to slow down, how do you not get hurt when you aren’t wanting to slow down
Chelsea
29:46
yesterday my therapist said exactly the same thing that you've said the past 2 mins 👌
Cathy McQuitty
29:47
How is this talk red flag material??
Nicole
29:47
Ex and I ended with a fully operative pursuer distancer dance going. He'd distance. I'd distance and attempt breakup (there were other fundamental issues, we were already considering breakup), and then he'd pursue and try to redirect away from breakup. I'd be open to it and then he'd put breakup back on the table and distance. This repeated 2-3 times before I finally called it.
Rio
29:54
But the expectation is I respond to him right away
Julie
29:54
What if that does not bother us - do we still have to address it? Usually it's both ways when the conversation dies down.
Annie Lukey
30:00
Exactly! I’m wondering/feeling the same thing @averywilliams
Nicole
30:02
How to understand what was going on with him?
Rio
30:04
Bcoz he says he knws I’m always on my phone
Nisha Jamal
30:06
you're not too busy to respond within 24 hours, if they are interested.. let them go
Gina
30:23
YUP
Rio
30:25
Thanks!
Teresa M
30:27
so true!!
Nikki
30:28
I learned that if they don't want to pursue you..as much as I wanted him and liked him I like myself more and had to leave him alone and stop trying..I believe there is someone out there that will love me as much as I know how to love..he just wasn't the one as much as I wanted him to be..
CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI
30:31
How DO you learn how to hold it?
Jules
30:33
“Learning how to hold this” let’s put that on a post it!
Barbara Watkins
30:38
I like that. “Would I send this if I loved myself?”
Natalie James
30:51
Love that Mark! “That’s the adulting”
Rio
30:57
That’s amazing
Teresa M
31:05
take your mind off of it, doing something else that focuses on yourself instead
Rio
31:06
I started doing the post it thing
Bella A
31:07
great, but dating an avoider will usually reply with an excuse (im was busy etc) .. its trying to always be the one starting conversation.. or texts.. and if we don’t text they don’t text ..its as though we are the ones always expected to text.
Diane Langille
31:12
I’m Brooke, by the way!😊
Rea Shahroudi
31:13
are we allowed to ask questions in this webinar or questions are pre-defined?
Gary Gottselig
31:13
YES
Sara Johnson
31:15
people lie tho
Trazee Boyd
31:15
I can hardly hear you and my volume is up all the way.
Petra
31:24
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?
Sarah Delicate
31:27
What if the text you sent was a very vulnerable invitation that is ignored?
Melissa Gough
31:28
Vienna can you please talk closer to the microphone.
Megan
31:31
@Bella yes with the excuses!
Kim
31:32
If you don't know yourself, then boom....we will be at the mercy of others wanting us. Ugh! Walking away from the wrong person means we are stuck with ourselves. Not sure I want to be in either situation.
Kiki
31:39
Audio is low
Melissa Malone
31:47
What do you do if the person doesn't acknowledge their behavior (disengaged, not making as much of an effort)?
Ni
32:04
Amen
Cathy
32:04
I have a question regarding the covid vaccine. Myself and every friend/family member I have is getting the vaccine. My new partner (we have been together 4 months and things are great!) refuses to get the covid vaccine. Now I have friends not wanting to spend time with me (and him) due to him not being vaccinated. Is this a red flag? It's a confusing issue! Thank you <3
Rea Shahroudi
32:05
question: how do these advices apply to dating a man who is Asperger !?
Gary Gottselig
32:07
Amen!! <3
Paulette
32:10
Agree !!
Michelle Williamson
32:19
I put that out there and I got “I’m just bad at communicating, I’ll work on it”. And then they don’t.
Maliha Gangat
32:29
Hola Natalie!! Its Maleeha ! Are you here???
Jennifer Peruzzaro
32:36
Better to have the hard conversations earlier on vs 1-5 years later! Oh how I ignored all the red flags!!!
Lexi
32:37
What about the opposite side, noticing them leaning in more after periods of space, should that be acknowledged in the same way or just let it be?
Nhu Richie (she/her)
32:44
Do you mind repeating that statement?
Fleur
32:46
It sounds so simple and it actually is, yet we struggle so much with proper communication
Sarah Stevenson
32:50
You crushed it
Gary Gottselig
32:50
haha totally crushed it!
Natalie Blazevich
32:52
Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending!
Forrest
33:02
Sooo good!!!!
Sarah Stevenson
33:10
oof
Nikki
33:12
Question: If you and your date had amazing chemistry and compatibility and the first date lasted 5 hrs of laughter and talking entire night followed by him wanting to come see him at work the next day bc we couldn't get enough..then he sends a long text a day after 2 amazing days of seeing one another that he really started started like me but not emotionally available and he ran..what happened?
C. Slaughter
33:18
finding that compatibility is so important and quite frankly a gift. I have this with my current guy. After 8 years of friendship, our communication is top notch
Deborah Morabito
33:21
So important to have clear communication. When I feel anxious, I use that as a guide that I am not in alignment and need to gain clarity
Paulette
33:21
Bring it !
jp
33:22
what did you say again for what to write/ask when you first notice them texting less?
Kristin Wise
33:23
is the lack of preparing for the future for someone who is 38 a red flag? i.e. no savings, no 401k, no credit. (background: relationship of 1 year, brought up my worries, no action was made).
Jennifer
33:28
These two know their stuff, gotta listen.
Anna
33:31
Good question!
Jasmin
33:33
Good question!
Tracey G
33:52
Can you mention those who have just narcissitic tendencies as well? Not everyone has a full blown disorder :)
Anna
34:14
I had a guy sending me valentine cards after 2 weeks "to the love of my life"....haha
Nisha Jamal
34:16
I needed the red flag "love bombing" 2 years ago with an ex.. I knew it was off, but still went for it not thinking it was that BIG of a flag, oof was I wrong
Sarah Stevenson
34:19
Why do they do it?
Cady Macon (she/her)
34:34
YES to Tracey’s question! The tendencies (but not the full disorder)
Jennifer
34:39
They get found out over time.
Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)
34:41
“you are my soulmate"
P
34:43
yes! experienced this and would not like to repeat it
Tanishka Chawla
34:51
With Tracey's question!
Jenny Cruickshank
34:56
rapid escalation and love you-- yes!!! then two months later.... sorry Charlie, I am emotionally unavailable--- my ex ruined me--- etc
Natalie Fardell
34:59
my last guy sand "Disney" songs and sent them to me weekly, then sand "bad things" to me..... it was intense quickly. then he pulled away.....
Viviane
35:03
What if there want to see you every day but don’t have the lavish portion in material gifts?
Kimberly Mills
35:08
Is dating someone for 3.5 years who doesnt really talk about marriage a red flag when you are both divorced an in your 40's? He was burned by his divorce 10 yrs ago. He says he's committed and wants a life with me but isn't sure about marriage again. But, marriage is important to me. How long to you wait without wasting time?
Anna
35:09
It becomes very intoxicating at the time...
Jessica
35:09
If you are dating with a guy who is always busy but he said he is making a “big effort” to see you. Could I considerar that a red flag??
Natalie Fardell
35:15
*sang...
Gina
35:17
It’s so strange to me that as I’ve grown and started working on healthier behavior patterns, love bombing isn’t even attractive to me anymore. It’s... too much, too soon. It makes me feel uncomfortable instead of flattered anymore.
Rachael
35:17
I fell for a narcissist, he cheated and i got pregnant, left me for the other women and hes been so horrible towards me. Wish I could walk away from it all
Taimi
35:17
I have definitely been falling for those love bombs for a good few years !!!! Gahh.
Sonia Dhuga
35:19
question: what do you do when youre seeing someone, things are going really good and progressing. his parent is ill and may pass away. he has identified he is not ready for too much commitment because what hes going through and asks for patience before he can get serious.. what do I do?
Deb Stewart
35:24
I had one take me to meet his family in weeks. He had another gf and they knew about it!
Robin
35:33
oh me too!
Tanishka Chawla
35:36
are narcissists aware of their tendencies??
Courtney Crispin
35:39
Can you talk about trauma bonds?
MikeO
35:45
Question: I've been sending txt messages as words of affirmations to loved friends for 7 days, I have also recently been sending to my ex. Everyone really appreciates them but my ex asked "What do I hope to gain from it?" I replied that I am coming from a place of open-heartedness and don't expect engagement and wish to give empowerment through my words. After sleeping on it, I am questioning myself if I unconsciously do want something from it... How can I become discerning on this?
cass
35:45
I was in a relationship just like that, love word within two weeks, huge presents and trips and surprises to take away from the problems we didn’t ever deal with and now being I’m a new relationship, I find it hard not to think that those big things mean love. Like I feel like I have to go all out to show this new person I care and love him
Michelle Williamson
35:48
Dude talked about moving to Florida before we even went out, talked about it on the first date, then never mentioned it again and basically became avoidant. Insisted the date was great, still wanted to “connect” with me, and confused the shit out of me.
P
36:03
is needing to see me everyday or gets moody and shots me out for saying not tonight, a red flag??
Deb
36:05
Dating in mid 40s, is it fair to see potential suitors that are separated or never married as red flags, rather than being divorced or widowed? I think there are some circumstances that make it okay, but how to decipher if it’s someone who has commitment phobia or doesn’t clean up old things before moving on?
Lina
36:07
Hi from Atlanta
Alex Taschuk
36:08
When you and Kylie separated, was there any thought of getting back together? What helped you separate and cope through that and did you still hold her and that potential of being with her in your heart? I've recently went through a break up and your story resonates with me so much, would love to hear more on it.
Siv
36:13
What is a ”twin flame”?
Rea Shahroudi
36:25
such a good point and indicator
Diane Langille
36:27
I’m in a relationship for a year
Stephanie Gonzales
36:31
so true!
Sina Dirks
36:33
I noticed that I tend to ghost people when the conversation gets difficult. How do I break this pattern and also fix this with people I did this to in the past :)
michelle
36:35
Not all resonates with My experience but I found if something big happened then my ex would say - I want to take you out, you deserve it etc
Jennifer
36:36
There’s so much manipulation going on, you’ve gotta pay attention
Rea Shahroudi
36:36
👌
Stacy Kerslake
36:37
Oooo..... yes that's absolutely so true! That took me years to realize
Diane
36:37
boyfriend could write for hallmark . He was that good and all the red flags melted away..HAHA
jaimereyes
36:39
I was dating someone for almost a year. During that time, I fell head over heels in love with her and I thought she felt the same way. About 6 months in, we has some issues come up.
Celeste Esparza
36:41
@alex listen to his podcast, they discuss it
Kimberly Martin
36:41
Vienna keep cutting out...
Holly
36:42
That’s self abandonment
Sasha
36:43
doesnt this happen with certain attachment styles?
Taimi
36:45
I’ve often felt like I don’t even get attracted to people until they show interest towards me first (and often it’s the love bombing kind…)
Leandra Rodriguez
36:47
I was seeing someone and things have since ended. He initiated being in a committed relationship and a month later changed his mind about the relationship. However, he still wanted to hang out with me and we spent a lot of time together. Finally, things fizzled and we saw each other less and less and it’s now been about a month since we’ve hung out or spoke. Lately he’s been trying to reach out and I ended up speaking to him again this week. Should I continue to engage with him?
Gyb
36:53
How do you heal from codependency
Dani
36:54
It seems like it can take a touch longer. took a few weeks and then he was calling all his friends saying he had this amazing new girlfriend. we had never even had a convo!
Fleur
36:58
Alex, they recorded two podcasts about it which cover it all
Jen
37:01
Not for me
Marc
37:02
Not for me
Jax
37:02
you’re good!
Courtney Crispin
37:02
Not for me
elmiraziaei
37:02
not for me either
Sarah Delicate
37:02
All good
ruth peterson
37:03
Not cutting out
Ruth
37:03
You’re ok
Dena
37:03
No issues for me.
Christina
37:03
all good
Anna
37:03
Clear for me
Theresa
37:04
not for me
sara-rosegarcia
37:04
Not for me
Eve
37:05
not here
Jenna
37:05
You should good 👍🏽
Akua Reid
37:05
Not cutting out for me
Taylor Moreno
37:05
youre good
Tori Zepp
37:05
You’re good!
Rob
37:05
Sounds good V
Sarah
37:06
You’re good
Sarah Sather
37:06
It's all good here
Sheri Salata
37:07
Looks good!
Steph
37:07
You sound great
Oliver Fecko
37:07
All good
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
37:07
I can hear you fine
Pamela Pesek
37:07
you good!
Sussie Mellstedt
37:09
I hear you! :)
Yohanah
37:09
Not for me
Megan
37:10
not here
katherinebenkerboral
37:10
Not for me..
Alex Taschuk
37:11
thank you guys
Natalie James
37:11
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Tara-lee
37:12
You’re good
SB
37:12
I have no visual or audio issues.
Kendra
37:13
I can hear you great
Annie
37:13
You’re good
Kim
37:14
I can hear ya no prob
ileana
37:14
It's good!
Nicole Zimmermann
37:15
Can we talk about ghosting… I got ghosted after a two month really intense relationship, 2 months later I am still not over it :(
KARINA RYAN
37:15
YOU'RE GOOD
Jan
37:18
Not for me in iteland
Chelsea Pimentel
37:19
Why does someone love bomb?
Cady Macon (she/her)
37:19
Will you speak to the subtle expressions of this? Narcissistic TRAITS, but not the full disorder
Fleur
37:23
two episodes*
Maryanne
37:25
not cutting out for me
Xima (See-ma) Grube
37:26
RE: Red Flags….Can we cover thoughts on if one person feels it’s moving too fast (because of invitations to go to weddings, meet parents, go on trips) but still wants to see where relationship goes? When is this a boundary versus a red flag?
T
37:29
Trauma bonds please. Husband of 15 yrs acting like a narcissist- can someone become one or is it more midlife crisis? I have stayed for kids but can no longer. How to heal trauma bond tips
El
37:36
Question: Can you outline more green flags? I want to escape this idea that I have to try to make something work.
Anna
37:37
Its desperation, on reflection....
Brandon Christopher
37:44
What if I feel like I am the Red Flag? 30 yo LGBT male. Never been in (or tried for) a relationship. Had a lot of childhood traumas to heal from first.
Anna
37:45
Desperation to be liked....
P
37:50
they don't like that though
Diane Langille
37:59
your good Vienna!😊
Olivia Stiebel
38:00
is it a relationship red flag that i’m watching this right now?
Suzy
38:07
This has just happened to me exactly as you say. And then he turned abusive and I’ve just got out. Thank you for highlighting
Meghan M
38:17
@Brandon, I feel that. I have definitely been a red flag in the past and am afraid of being one again
Kendee
38:20
Mark~ you re a BABE…just sayin
Fabi
38:20
I was dating a guy for three weeks. We had the conversation, he said he want to be exclusive, made plans, said he was all in, feelings growing. I told him someone broke up with me by message and he said that was horrible. Three weeks later we were intimate and he ghosted me after. I can’t believe I felt in this trap. It is so disheartening
Michelle Williamson
38:24
P - moodiness and being mad at you for not being able to spend one day with them is definitely a red flag for narcissism
Lisa
38:25
healthy?
Dave C
38:33
Time
Michelle Williamson
38:36
Kendee - agreed haha
Karina Mancebo
38:37
How do you ask someone to slow down?
Dave C
38:43
Time
Courtney McClintock
38:56
@tanishka I’m with you it’s so hard to know
Rob
39:00
I think it would be great to have those open conversations. Creating a safe space to explore these thoughts.
Nikki
39:04
Karina..like this..hey let's take it little slow..haha
Leslie
39:09
Create a relationship with your intuition
Shari K :)
39:10
I find partner is “gungho” then retreat and lose interest
Tara-lee
39:14
Thank you 🙏🏻
Spencer Brinson
39:15
Thank you for the additional thoughts
Lynn
39:19
As soon as you mention security, they run, or think you're gold digging and then ghosted
Alex Taschuk
39:22
But that's a healthy boundary
Nicole Zimmermann
39:25
@shari I feel that
Sussie Mellstedt
39:33
I hear the word narcissist a lot around. I feel that it might be misused. People can it so easily. What defines a narcissist?
Joshua R
39:38
What about the mislabelling of Love bombing…what if you show love be actually being of service to your partner.
Alex Taschuk
39:38
I guess narcissist don't like health boundaries lol
Cheryl Robinson
39:40
I dodged a bullet recently with someone like this... phew
Nicole
39:43
How do you know its someone's acting off or its codependency kicking in
Suzy
39:45
Spot on Mark
Dani
39:48
but some are covert narcissists...?
Diane Langille
39:50
what is a narcissist?
Seda Aydin
39:50
how about if someone is codependent?
Stacy Kerslake
39:52
Yes it's so crazy to recover from the narcissistic relationship and now I feel avoidant
Casey (Casshawndra) Barber
39:53
I left someone like this and thankful I did
Catherine Davis
39:54
14 years....never again
Gina
40:01
When you don’t spend any time apart, there’s no room for desire and attraction to grow!
Brandon Christopher
40:07
Thanks @meghan!
Michelle Sohn
40:10
So narcissistic person can’t do intimacy?
Shari K :)
40:13
People always seem to be looking for the next best thing
Alex Taschuk
40:13
well said @gina
KARINA RYAN
40:14
Melody Battle has a classic/great book on co-dep
Janice Newpton
40:14
spent 21 years with one
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
40:14
yes and triangulation
Christine
40:15
Textbook description of my last relationship 🤦‍♀️ which is listened to this before
Cheryl Robinson
40:16
They even borderline gaslit me which triggered me
Seda Aydin
40:16
i have always thought there is a thin line between codependent and narcissist
Emilly Dubeau
40:17
What about narcissistic traits on a spectrum?
averywilliams
40:21
what is the difference between codependency and narcissism
Natalie Blazevich
40:22
Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending! I didn’t realize I had it set to just all panelists haha
Sarah Delicate
40:24
Narcissistic personality disorder is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. They follow the same text book. GET OUT.
Gina
40:29
i never saw that as love bombing .. i just wanted to spend time with him cus i loved him
Gina
40:29
🤦🏻‍♀️
Emma Freeman
40:30
Apologies, I joined late. Will the recording be available later?
Eunice Park
40:40
Met someone a couple years ago and the 2 months I was with him was 2 months TOO long. Dodged a bullet and I do believe he has a narcissistic personality
Kristin Wise
40:46
lol my narcissist was definitely anxious attachment style not avoidant. avoidant would just push you away
Sasha
41:01
trauma bonding is real
Cathy McQuitty
41:03
What’s wounding?
Anna
41:11
Those with low self esteem, are hooked by the love bombing stage... I was
jp
41:16
i slowed down when asked and he stayed impersonal from then on, like i was in his daily communication it it felt intellectual, antecdotal and no longer emotional or intimate.
Rob
41:19
💯 @sasha
Nikki
41:23
what is trauma bonding?
Hannah
41:29
I’m attracted to red flags
Gina
41:33
great topic guys
jody
41:33
I was just discarded after telling the person I needed to take things slow.Blocked . 😢 it stung but over it .
cass
41:36
How do you be in a new relationship after being in one that was super hot and heavy and loved bombed and narcissistic. My first relationship was super controlling and again, the big surprises and presents that were distracting me from the issues, and now I feel like in my new relationship I think that those big things are what love is
Nikki
41:38
what is trauma bonding?
jp
41:42
it was so fucking excruciating. the intensity was mutual for many weeks before this.
Caylen Garrie
41:54
what if the narcissit takes slow in the beginning but looks at other women for attention. He set all the right boundaries and I wanted to see him all the time, so does that mean I am the narcissist? BC I wanted to spend time with him
Hannah
41:54
I’m attracted to red flags, I’ve never thought of it as trauma bonding?
Jill
42:03
Should I begin dating even though I'm not over my previous relationship?
Dave C
42:05
Chemistry vs Trauma Bonding?
Stace
42:10
I just set a boundary/broke a pattern for the first time w/ a guy from online dating I was "drawn to" that in the past I would've likely ended up being intimate with but then regretting after. These sessions/videos really DO help clarify your past actions/from wounding, etc. <3
Tanishka Chawla
42:13
Here for Hannah's question
Jen
42:28
My relationship with my dad… ya
Julie
42:29
3 months in he was all in, he gave the green lights. He says he developed feelings and then suddenly bolted saying not ready for a relationship
Tanishka Chawla
42:34
attraction to emotional unavailability vs trauma bonding
Maria Sol Arevalo
42:37
I’m struggling dealing with not understanding how someone can’t fall in love. I have been dating for 6 months and my partner have to move to another country in 3 months and he decided to end the relationship now . Telling me he can’t get In love because of the trip and don’t want a long distance relationship. It’s difficult to me to be ok with his decision. I understand why he did it but my emotional part doesn’t gets it, wants to be with him no matter what. Any advice please?
Maliha Gangat
42:39
Hahaha aww no so good to see you made it NAT! Yesss I’ll hop on insta later tonight.
Meghan M
42:41
Yay @Stace! Good job breaking that pattern. Powerful stuff
Nicole Guerrero
42:50
So Wounding is Repetition Compulsion?
Stace
42:53
Thanks @Megan M
Natalie Blazevich
43:00
Yay can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss haha
Katie Branscum
43:02
YESSSS @Stace!!! I have done this recently as well. It’s so empowering and healing
Leslie
43:16
Trust your emotions
Natalie Blazevich
43:16
Yesss can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss!
Tanishka Chawla
43:21
Same here Stace!!
Stace
43:23
Thanks @Katie, it felt so good to send him the "I think we'r elooking for different things" message <3
Stace
43:42
Great job @Tanishka
KARINA RYAN
43:44
wow
Leslie
43:45
Listen to your emotions
Kelsey Chapman
43:55
How do you know if someone who is emotionally unavailable is starting to change? Do you stick around or automatically run?
L M
44:04
Oh just had a lightbulb moment on that one about someone choosing work over time with me. Wow!
CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI
44:06
Is it inherently bad that they may be a diligent worker if you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic?
McKenzie Utter
44:08
@Nicole I’m no expert but I’d say it’s not necessarily repetition compulsion but more so showing you where you may have a wound that needs healing.
Kendrick Samuel
44:08
So true
brendabasile
44:09
but how do you change what you’re attracted to?
Tara-lee
44:14
Thank you 🙏🏻 this is so great! ❤️
vicki
44:14
ouch! I always pick the ones who tell me their priorities are kids/work
Jax
44:18
Our body also feels different between the two as well…
FARNOOSH
44:20
huge light bulb moment 🙏
Bella A
44:21
How do we heal these wounds. to avoid recreating them
Peter Middleton
44:25
I thought we are drawn to partners who mirror our wounds, so we can heal them in love, is that trauma bonding?
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
44:27
Yessss love this explanation of wounds
Michelle Hu
44:27
Is trauma bonding always bad? I had a workaholic father who was unavailable and I ended up dating someone who was also a workaholic. But the relationship was great. Is it always bad?
KARINA RYAN
44:34
This is so valuable - thank you
Hannah
44:34
How can I “re-wire” my thoughts/actions to not go down the path of chasing after red flag people?
Courtney Crispin
44:38
So then how do you heal it? by communicating?
Olivia Stiebel
44:40
does anyone have long distance relationship advice
Jean Caprio
44:43
so trickey!
Mahinaz Shakeib
44:43
and ironically, sometimes we are attracted to the total opposite of our wounds bcause we dont want to re create that
Tanishka Chawla
44:43
how do you unlearn these patterns you've grown up? when these unhealthy attachments are all you have ever known?
Olivia Stiebel
44:44
/red flags in LDRs
Sheri Salata
44:53
VALID!
Jen
44:55
:)
Megan D'Agosta
44:56
Can those relationships work if both open to healing?
Liz Slipko
44:56
Can you revisit that trauma bond and activation principle?
Stace
45:02
a huge part of healing the wounds is being/become aware of them and their impact on how you act/patterns it creates for you in realtionship <3
Amanda F.
45:02
If you aren’t attracted to people who are good for you, and you stop moving toward the people you ARE drawn to…are you just basically stuck being alone if you want to be healthy?
Rob
45:08
Maybe we just need to slow down…why rush into anything?!
Nicole
45:19
How do we learn to let gooo, when we feel in love and like we need to fix the relationship ?!
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
45:21
so what do you mean when we have to be triggered to heal?
Jenni Meskus
45:24
The trauma bonds feel so strong whereas "sensibly" chosen relationships feel a bit *blah*. It's hard to choose differently.
Hannah
45:40
I’m with you, Amanda!
Fiona Luke
45:50
Jihari
Amanda F.
45:53
YES what Jenni said - this is what makes me feel kind of sad for the future
maya
45:55
i love that
Nikki
46:01
Olivia I do! I've had a 7 yrs long distance relationship and we ended up being together a total of 14 yrs married him and had 3 children..we're no longer together. you can message me at ndavila15 on IG
CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI
46:06
Definitely, thanks for that!
Cathy McQuitty
46:11
No, that was good!
maya
46:15
understanding each other triggers
Olivia Stiebel
46:17
thank you, nikki!
SB
46:18
Is it possible to even attract healthy people when you know that you have such deep entrenched issues. I feel like it detracts healthy people. I mean, I am actively dealing with myself, but it's going to be a lot of slow moving and potential triggering.
McKenzie Utter
46:20
@Amanda and @Hannah You can find someone that you’re attracted to and is good for you:) It’s a lot about stepping into your worth and owning it.
Monique B.
46:21
Triggering your child hood wounds is a blessing if you take the time to look within and heal it
Lindie
46:30
Do you want all the questions now? Or hold onto it until the end?
Dale Woods
46:32
@amanda no, you can work through it and become aware of why you are attracted to those people in the first place, heal the wounds then you will be ready to meet people that are a good match / healthy for you
maya
46:34
i scared off a new date because i brought up my trigger too soon
Cristina
46:38
He didn’t introduced to family or friends after 8 months
Dan
46:40
Is being unattracted to healthy people similar to being fearful avoidant? Like we fear secure connection thus why we chase unavailability or red flags
Elli
46:41
*I am breaking the pattern now and I am MARRIED. *Do you think the marriage can survive when you break thru? I did trauma bonding with my man and he did with me too I feel
Jen
46:53
An invitation for change
Nhu Richie (she/her)
46:54
It’s all in contrast, you need something opposite to bring it out and it’s not necessarily bad, it just shines a light on to what it is that makes us different.
Hannah
46:55
Maya, we’ve all been there! You just won back time :)
Cristina
47:00
I’m scared to give my heart away again
Melissa Spence
47:01
I avoid relationships and am genuinely not that interested in even dating.
Kaz
47:02
My ex used to always be triggered by anything I said or did and I would have no clue why he would go off but now I believe it was to do with his avoidant attachment style and projecting on to me
Nisha Jamal
47:03
scared off? or saved time :) @Maya
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
47:04
how do you know when the relationship is safe?
Nikki
47:06
you're welcome 🙂
kim crane
47:06
I think a covert narcissist comes in differently then the other types. Mine was a victim, seemed almost too vulnerable. He was intense and I felt off, but eventually convinced myself I didn’t know what it was like to be so loved. As time went on, he was passive aggressively controlling. It wasn’t until I had to make big changes in my life that would affect him, did I see the rage of his control, the victimization and gaslighting, over and over again. when you tell someone you have to step away and take care of yourself and they annihilated you with everything you shared in your vulnerability. It messes with your mind.
Leslie
47:12
I completely stopped dating and learned about myself
Petra
47:12
New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?
McKenzie Utter
47:14
@Maya Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly really helped me with doing that type of thing!
maya
47:17
how soon do you bring up triggers in dating?
Sho Eli
47:21
How do you find those safe relationships in order to heal? I keep ending up in situationships that trigger me but they never turn into relationships
Michelle
47:27
So helpful!
kchambers
47:29
How do you stay optimistic and try to give people a chance while also being cautious and alert on red flags/past patterns?
Melissa Spence
47:33
I date myself and have become super protective of me.
Tammara
47:38
Same @ Leslie
Meghan M
47:43
@Sho me too!!
Amanda Alvorada
47:44
I had the same experience with you Kim
Megan
47:47
@kim crane exact experience here…and see that pattern myself…drawn to people who paint themselves as victims…
Jules
48:01
Being activated in a safe relationship...so helpful!
Lydia M
48:01
Can a narcissist change? And how do you get them to change?
Julie
48:03
Are they aware of their actions as they're doing this?
Lisa
48:08
its me that's controlling
Tamara
48:20
That’s an amazing concept ...if we need touch the wound (triggered) how can we heal or change the outcome
Tamara
48:27
Never*
Simona
48:33
analogy I thought of and like: trauma is that box in the creepy basement you either dont know is there or you know its there and wont open. trigger is when that box ends up in the hallway
Samara M.
48:56
when you depart from spending time from a narcissist you are depleted. if its chemistry, you get energy.
link
48:58
is it narcissist if I express my feelings but instead of being understanding or validating, they become defensive to "assure" you that their actions did not come with mal intent
Nikki
49:00
question: had an amazing, mind blowing first date with a guy where we laughed for hours and undeniable compatibility and chemistry. 2 days later he texts me a long text saying he thought he was ready for something real and he's not blah blah blah and that he never met someone so amazing blah blah blah and that he's not emotionally available. why did he run if the chemistry was amazing?
Elsa Palanza
49:16
How do you keep yourself openhearted and willing to “dive in” with a new person while maintaining enough distance to see the red flags? I want to give a new date the benefit of the doubt but sometimes that prevents me from seeing those possible flags early on…
Amanda.Ferriss
49:18
Once you're good at not moving forward with someone when its more coming from trauma bonding - how do you then become attracted to people who are better for you? Because you still want to be excited about the connection and what if that "chemistry" feeling only comes from the trauma bonding?
Nicole
49:18
Standards for relationship different from standards for casual? Are there ever red flags for relationship that aren't red flags for casual?
Nikki
49:20
no sex just 5 hrs of talking and laughing over drinks and dinner..
Dan
49:28
I’m fearful avoidant and can’t get close to anybody whether they’re healthy or unhealthy lol. I guess my initial trigger is closeness to ANYBODY that I need to overcome
Rachel Kiehnau
49:31
I seem to ask where we are in a relationship too often
Jen
49:41
Lol
Lynn
49:45
@ Nilli I relate to that
Michelle Williamson
49:46
Nikki same thing happened to me
Jenna Strusowski
49:52
SAME
Rob
49:52
Nikki, all him, nothing to do with you!
Lynn
49:55
@Nikki sorry
Rachel
49:56
Lmao the voice
Judith Z
49:59
@Dan, so recognizable haha me too!
Nikki
50:00
Dan can you message me on IG later so I can pick your brain?
Jax
50:01
Ah same same
Chantale
50:05
Amen.. question 3 is soooooo me!!
STTOWNING
50:05
Yes! same here
Elli
50:07
Nikki he prob has still stuff to integrate and recognized thru feelings of intimidation.
Jules
50:10
Wow! This question! Aaargh!
Cady Macon (she/her)
50:13
………did I write this and get amnesia?????
Gary Gottselig
50:14
MMMHMM!!!
Christa Mariash
50:17
OMG yaassss this question is so relevant to me
jayne
50:17
Thafs exactlyMy story too
Hannah
50:18
This question!!!!
Jax
50:20
Yes, tell us more!!
Fiona Luke
50:21
That’s me
Ajo
50:21
And if they say yes they enjoy it but no rush for relationship that’s not a red flag, that’s not unavailability? That’s just no rush
Sarah Stevenson
50:22
preach
Jenni Meskus
50:23
Yup been there done that
Tanishka Chawla
50:24
yess!!!!
Courtney Crispin
50:24
great question
Hannah
50:24
IM READY
Cara Nissen
50:26
@rachel- same
Pamela Pesek
50:28
DO IT
maya
50:28
wow amazing question
Sarah Delicate
50:28
Same.
Gary Gottselig
50:28
hahaha… IM HERE FOR THIS
Pamela Pesek
50:29
LOL
Jules
50:29
Bring it
Paulette
50:30
Yesssssss
Cara Nissen
50:33
@rachel- same
Nicole Guerrero
50:33
I feel like I wrote that one!!
Jennifer
50:35
@Nikki I am in the same boat!
MikeO
50:37
That's a GOOD question!
Sarah Stevenson
50:38
THAT PART
Stace
50:38
Let's do it. I'm here for this one :)
M Coopeer
50:38
Yes! BEFORE I get invested
Suhasini Sundaresan
50:40
excellent question!!
Ajo
50:42
This is so helpful
Natalie Fardell
50:42
my ex shared a trauma from his past with me 6 weeks into our relationship... I knew that this would be with us forever. then a week later he pulled away and we broke up. Now every conversation we have end up with us talking about it and him getting really upset.
Lake Tullis
50:44
Goooodd question
maya
50:45
origins part!!
Hannah
50:46
Say it again!
Jax
50:49
curiosity!
Lake Tullis
50:50
ahhhhh
Lake Tullis
50:51
Love it
Meghan M
50:52
WOW
Megan
50:52
But I think the point is they’re not avoidant at first…it comes later after you’re invested...
Nicole
50:54
What about their avoidance serves something in you?
Pamela Pesek
50:55
I am sitting with a margarita - this is good
Jen
50:56
Have any examples of how it would serve you?
Rea Shahroudi
50:58
naughty!
Michelle Williamson
51:03
I don’t know what that means
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
51:04
exactly
Kim
51:06
Hmmm....it's familiar.
Nikki
51:06
glad I'm not alone just so confused by his actions!
Rea Shahroudi
51:11
self worth
Maria
51:11
How do I break that question down?
Dan
51:14
Sure Nikki — I’m becoming more aware of my attachment, but I ran from healthy secure women for years. Well, I ran from everyone. But even the good ones.
Katie Branscum
51:17
Fear of true intimacy
Kim
51:18
We don't like it though....
katherine
51:21
Because I love being that person they go to for support
Chelsea
51:27
self fulfilling prophecy
Whitney Moon
51:28
I’ve found that unavailable men fits MY narrative of “people always leave me/people aren’t interested in me"
Jordan Leigh
51:29
but they aren't avoidant at first....
Michelle Williamson
51:30
Thanks, Mark
Rachelle F
51:31
I went on a first date with a guy I met online. we messaged for a couple weeks and seemed easy going. on the date, he spoke about himself the entire time. never asked about me or bit when I would try to insert myself into conversation... red flag orrrr??
STTOWNING
51:35
Im afraid they wont truly like me if they find out who I really am. I have always tried to be who I think people want me to be and now I don't know who I truly am.
Christa Mariash
51:37
YES
Jenni Meskus
51:38
Fear of being loved truly
Meghan M
51:42
fear that deep down i’m unloveable and don’t deserve emotional availability
Megan
51:42
@Jordan yes exactly!!
Courtney Crispin
51:43
usually there is
Michelle Williamson
51:50
Nope. No part of me that is unavailable.
M Coopeer
51:53
ohhhhhhhhh....yes...definately
Alex Taschuk
51:54
What would the subtle difference be between being copedendent or narcissistic with wanting to be around your lover, complimenting them, being intimate, etc? My past relationship if I would complement too much, or want to do things with them, I'd get blamed for being codependent, but isn't there some naturalness in this? Im having a tough time differentiating
Maliha Gangat
51:59
Ive come a long way but possibly… maybe a little bit ??
Gary Gottselig
52:03
Yes… that’s me!
Melissa Malone
52:04
Exactly - they are not avoidant at first. The very opposite!
Chelsea
52:12
deep down we are scared of being hurt again, so we unconsciously want unavailable people so we don't fall deep and get hurt extra hard
Julie Longchamp
52:14
are men really intimidated by smart successful independent women?
Hannah
52:14
I’m avoidant if they don’t show red flags, but then the complete opposite if they DO show red flags
Cady Macon (she/her)
52:16
^ Melissa, same here
Gary Gottselig
52:17
How do we become more available?
Meghan M
52:18
there is an “anxious avoidant” attachment style
C. Slaughter
52:21
For me, it was repeating the sacrifice. Love, growing up, was about sacrifice and giving until it depleted me. Especially as a child. Once I worked through it with my therapist, the cycle stopped. Giving too much became draining
Rachael
52:23
Why do I want my cheating ex back so much? He cheated and I am pregnant. I need to stop longing for a "family" as he left me for someone else
Natalie Blazevich
52:30
I’m always afraid of making the wrong decision and getting in too deep with someone and then ending up hurting them. I would rather be the one hurt
Tana
52:32
Their avoidance is your own opportunity to practice. Well at least for me it has been. I've enjoyed it but it comes a point that I get bored because I settle for the little slivers and that ultimately doesn't serve me.
Shari K :)
52:33
Its so difficult to know any of this when meeting someone always displaying different behavioss
Maliha Gangat
52:36
Sooo deeeeeppppp
Maria
52:43
No. That’s not it. I am available to those things. I am ready. I have been
Monique B.
52:50
Mirroring!
Michelle Williamson
52:52
Maria, same
SB
52:54
Repeats out loud: "I'm not ready to be vulnerable."
Courtney Crispin
52:58
But what if you are being vulnerable? Do you mean having hard conversations?
Dan
52:58
I associate love with hurt, my earliest caregiver (mom) abandoned me and I had emotional neglect. So I can’t trust people even when ALL the signs are there and theres no red flags... it’s almost irrational because I recognize it but deep down the fear persists!
Nikki Taylor
52:59
lightbulb moment!!
Stace
53:01
the fear of being hurt "again" holds us back and can make us unavailable
Christa Mariash
53:03
yes, projection and mirroring
Nicole
53:04
But I cant find what its serving me ?
Leslie
53:08
Do you feel people need to earn your trust before you give your trust
Lilit
53:18
if you have some trust issues, does that mean you are not fully available?
Petra
53:22
How do i become available?
Oana
53:24
Spot on!!!
Hannah
53:24
That protective barrier
Rea Shahroudi
53:24
well said
Hannah
53:26
Ugh
Tana
53:28
100 percent
Alex Taschuk
53:28
Totally makes sense
Celeste Esparza
53:29
Yes!!!!!
Christa Mariash
53:30
sure does
KARINA RYAN
53:32
yes'
Melisa Fissore
53:33
Yes totally does
Chantale
53:34
I am not ready to be truly loved because I have no clues how this would feel. OUCH
SB
53:35
I want to be vulnerable, but I don't want to do that too soon and become emotionally attached when I am not sure about the person being a long term match.
brendabasile
53:36
that was awesome!!
Megan
53:36
But is it choosing an unavailable person if they act very available for the first few weeks/months?????
Maria Aedo
53:42
Makes total sense!
Ni
53:43
Leave
Stephanie LoPresti
53:43
Leave me.
Ellie
53:44
I herd the echos of that ❤️
Suhasini Sundaresan
53:44
wooow!
Emma
53:45
What about dudes that are sneaky unavailable? Over time?
Judith Z
53:45
How does that work when you are willing to dive into the vulnerability and it smell h was too but then when we shared a lot he seemed to change his mind and ran…
Viktoria
53:47
Totally makes sense.
Jen
53:47
For sure
Barbara Watkins
53:50
Wow!
Kelsey Chapman
53:51
I love this! I have discovered that I am emotionally unavailable when it comes to commitment/trusting so I still gravitate toward emotionally unavailable men. How do we change this?
Gina
53:52
Sometimes when we date unavailable people, it’s easier to place the blame on other people when they leave us instead of not fixing our shit.
Molly
53:54
Wow
Barbara Watkins
53:56
Mind blowing
Kim
53:56
Okay so how do we repair those hurt parts of us that make us unintentionally pull away
Michelle Williamson
53:58
They disappear.
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
53:59
abandonment
Barbara Watkins
54:02
When I love people, they…
Michelle Sohn
54:03
So good… we are not ready for intimacy perhaps…
Jen
54:18
Yup
Megan
54:19
@Emma yes to “sneaky unavailable”…exactly!
Courtney Crispin
54:20
Avoidance can be vulnerable in the beginning because there’s less risk right? But then when stakes get higher they shut down?
Maria
54:24
I really need a relationship coach 😔
Samantha
54:27
Yup 👍🏻
STTOWNING
54:27
Can all these issues be resolved with self worth?
Kristin Wise
54:29
it all boils down to communicating. how you approach the situation when you see a flag will show you your attachment style and how they respond will show you if you should stay or leave
Michelle Sohn
54:29
I am the ultimate choosers of unavoidable men
Hannah
54:29
Kim, repairing the relationship with yourself? Healing from childhood trauma?
Paulette
54:30
Makes so much sense wow .. I need to figure out what area I’mUnavailable in because I don’t feel like I know the answer to that !
Izz
54:30
How do you know what true love is if what you've been taught, isn't real healthy love?
Linda
54:30
Thanks! You just answered a question.
Michelle Williamson
54:31
But whyyyyyy lol it doesn’t make sense!
AFD
54:38
Truth! I want live but I’m terrified of it. Makes sense that I pick unavailable
Melissa Malone
54:40
So true
Phnmedic
54:41
You both are awesome
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
54:44
so true
Dave C
54:47
Self sabotage by validating the fear
Leslie
55:01
These two people are the best relationship mentors I have ever beheld
tina
55:01
It brings up internal pain
Jen
55:08
I wait for vulnerability from the other person before I feel like I can be vulberable
Iliana Gerasimenko
55:09
How can we practically implement some techniques to test our emotional availability?
Robin
55:16
how do you know when someone is a good match? how do you know when you are aware or discerning or know yourself well enough to trust in your decision making when it comes to choosing the "right" match?
SB
55:18
Um, fear of being in an enclosed space alone with someone for starters. Is there even hope?
Nicole
55:21
Recreation of dysfunction is a control of pain, the kind of suffering we undergo
Maria
55:21
Lacking Self-worth
Tammara
55:25
So true
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
55:27
so how do we change that
Kristin Wise
55:29
it's ok to date ppl with insecure attachment! half the population is insecure. secure ppl bring insecure ppl into the light lol
Nicole
55:29
I feel ready. I love vulnerability and open conversations.. I try to make things work.. and they get avoidant anyways... and it hurts. WHY AM I STILL WAITING FOR THEM ?
Paulette
55:30
That’s it ... it’s fear ..
maya
55:31
you guys are so beautiful and wonderful for teaching us these important things. thanks so much. so grateful
Jenna Strusowski
55:38
yep
Christa Mariash
55:38
all. the. time.
Tammy Loblick
55:38
Good question
Gina
55:39
It’s easier CODEPENDENCY
Lisa
55:41
of course!
Pamela
55:42
Yes
elinarudkovsky
55:44
That would be me
Katie Branscum
55:44
Guilty
Jenna
55:45
Offft
Briane Agostinelli
55:46
yep -
Tamara
55:46
Omg ...yes
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
55:47
how do we know when we are ready to be available ?
Lisa Datz
55:47
That’s a good one!!!!!!
Linda
55:48
Good one!
Jenna
55:48
Guilty
Chantale
55:49
I AM A FIXER UPPER..lol
Ajo
55:49
Me
Emma
55:50
I feel attacked!! hahahaa
Jen
55:50
I used to
Jenni Meskus
55:51
Codependent saviours unite!
Catherine Davis
55:51
Savior complex
Petra Juratovec
55:51
My father was extremely emotionally abusive, my partner feels a little unsafe (yelling and snaping at me when we fight) but i don't know if im so fed up with abuse i became too intolerant of normal (at times) behaviours, how much is too much? I get uspet when he snaps at me, but he thinks im overreacting
STTOWNING
55:53
that person has to want to move to be available. I cant do it
Maliha Gangat
55:54
lolll
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
55:54
guilty
Suhasini Sundaresan
55:56
yess!!
Lizzy
55:59
can you repeat that please
Nicole
55:59
Yep
Michelle Sohn
55:59
What’s the question again?
Sally Reid
56:02
Woww I think you hit the nail on the head
Maria Espinosa
56:03
The book Attached has great examples of signs to look out for in potentially avoidant partners
Huda
56:06
It’s always easier to work on others than on ourselves.
Briane Agostinelli
56:06
yes- fixer
Lisa
56:06
yup!
rachel (they/them)
56:08
WHEW
Nicole
56:08
Whats the question ??
abh majumdar
56:08
yep
Chelsea Pimentel
56:08
YES
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
56:09
people pleaser
Andrea Ishak
56:12
YESSSS
Tanishka Chawla
56:12
yess! everytime i meet a person who is emotionally unavailable, i take it up as a challenge. i want to change and fix them, it adds to the spark for me...
Tamara
56:12
I was always a fixer ..
Tammara
56:14
YES
Christa Mariash
56:16
they will only change if they want to do the work
Michelle
56:18
Yes!
Jen
56:19
Ohhh yeaaahh that reasonatea
Jenn
56:22
🙋🏻‍♀️
Fabia MacNair
56:22
The project husband
Chelsea Pimentel
56:24
such a people pleaser. want to try to change them. validates me
Jules
56:24
Oooooh I see me in that
Kim
56:25
Thanks Hannah, I am attending CODA these days. But not sure what full healing of myself truly looks like. I have a lot independence...but not sure I am completely satisfied with who I am.
Maria
56:26
Yes
Megan
56:26
oh I feel THIS
Chelsea Pimentel
56:26
yes!
Nikki
56:26
Can the person who walked away out of fear from getting close ever come back?
Laura Taylor
56:27
People don’t change!
Tanishka Chawla
56:28
yes!!!
Maria
56:29
Exactly
Sylvia Reilly
56:29
OMG yesssss - I’m a classic fixer especially fixing their dysfunctional family elements
Adriana
56:31
yep. turned a fuckboi into a husband...ended up divorced....thought he ''changed''...listen to what she is saying people! haha
Nicole
56:32
"What does it say about you if you can get someone to change?" AAAAhhhh!!
Lake Tullis
56:33
yesssss
Eileen Roche
56:34
Landing
Lake Tullis
56:34
yesss
M Coopeer
56:34
Yep
Eve
56:35
hell yess
LC
56:35
I was subconsciously doing that for YEARSSSS
KelceyLifts
56:35
Ummm me
Jordan
56:36
👋🏼
Nicole
56:36
absolutely
Sue Chapple
56:36
yes
Erin Hovi
56:37
Shooooot
Suhasini Sundaresan
56:37
omg! that's so trueee
Natalie James
56:37
Oh yeah
Chelsea Woodman
56:37
BAM!!
Guergana
56:37
ye
moniquesam
56:37
yup...
KARINA RYAN
56:38
ugh..yes
Lian Newallo
56:38
yes
Tana
56:38
That's the ego at play for sure
Gina
56:39
They are people, not projects!!!
Christina
56:39
nooo I don't have the time for that
liz Silva
56:39
Daaanngg
marielbarrera
56:39
yeppppp
Seda Aydin
56:39
that is codependency
stacy
56:39
Haha yep
Megan Pounder
56:40
Yesss
Kathy Leiva
56:40
most def
Eve
56:40
yesssssssssssssss
Pamela Pesek
56:41
eff yes
Sarah Delicate
56:41
Yep
Iliana
56:41
YASS!
Jordan
56:42
🤦🏼‍♀️ guilty
Kelsey Chapman
56:42
yep!!
Maria Aedo
56:42
yup!!!
Celeste Esparza
56:42
Yessss
Megan Kramer
56:42
yeahhh
Tori Zepp
56:42
Haha triggered
MikeO
56:42
YEs
Brittany Donovan
56:42
Hahaha
Megan
56:43
Yup…eek…
Anna
56:43
100%
Anna
56:43
That's me!
brendabasile
56:43
very much
Marc
56:43
yup
liz Silva
56:44
Spicy
Jules
56:44
🙋🏻‍♀️
Susan
56:44
I married one! 18 years later- couldn’t change anything and gave up
Jennifer
56:44
No
Nancee Winslow
56:45
Yyesssss
Rebecca Tucker
56:45
1000%
Laura Taylor
56:45
Only you can change yourself
Alisha Drimmie
56:45
yessss
Andria Panidisz
56:46
🙋🏻‍♀️
Lizette Montesinos
56:46
I think that’s me
Tara
56:47
💯
Gabriela Martinez
56:47
Yes
Peter Middleton
56:47
ouch
Sarah Krysalka
56:47
Lawd!!!
Jill DiCandia
56:48
🤚🏻
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
56:48
I Was not anymore
AMBER
56:48
🙌
Janet
56:50
Yuuuuup
Jenn
56:52
🙋🏻‍♀️
moniquesam
56:53
omg
Annie Lukey
56:55
Did anyone write down Mark’s quote on ‘all of the questions/conversations that we don’t want to have in dating…’
Jessica G
56:55
🙋🏻‍♀️
Tammy
56:56
🤚
Gary Gottselig
56:57
hahaha… yes.. all the self work.. wtf :P
kimkat
56:57
100%
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
56:57
YESSSSSS
Sonia Dhuga
56:58
HI SANJ 😊❤
Monique B.
56:59
Y'all are calling me out lol
Gina
57:00
that’s so me lol
Jessica Kristy
57:00
“Look how special I am”
Lisa
57:01
but we don't know thats who they are when it starts. But we want to make it work...
Anastasia
57:02
oh yeah fixer uppers
Charley Thomas
57:03
HI, IT ME lol
Joan
57:03
The whisperer!!!
Maria
57:05
NOT doing that again
Tammy
57:06
💯💯💯
L M
57:06
I have absolutely done that. Ended up in a 3 year relationship because I just assumed they would want what I want once they knew me lol That was a hard lesson but such a valuable one :)
Eileen Roche
57:11
And now I have a partner who is Available with a capital A and it scares me!
Oana
57:14
The unfulfilling dynamic with my dad was reflected in different ways in my romantic relationships , also trying to get a “happy end” to the story
Brigitte Bourque
57:22
so if you pinpointed what your block, what would be the next step, process.. on the work
Petra
57:26
I'm such an amateur plumber 🖐️
Sue Chapple
57:35
I just want everyone to be okay and put this before my own well-being.
Laura Kennedy
57:35
A call IN to conversation instead of a call out 💗
Laura
57:36
Just dropping this here: the book Deeper dating from Ken Page is fab !! How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy🙌
Tamara
57:36
How do you change yourself from fixer ....what are we then
MikeO
57:37
We want to be the hero to the one we love
Bo M L
57:45
And WHAT DO I DO WHEN I AM A FIXER, SAVER?
Elli
57:46
can you repeaT the 3rd question please?
Misty
57:47
I always end up dating guys that have things to work on. I help them and then the next female they date they end up marrying.
Peter Middleton
57:50
protection mechanism
Gary Gottselig
57:54
I have taht one Laura.. haven’t read it yet… maybe its time! :)
tina
57:57
For sure. How do we notice the signs of this in the moment?
Angela M
57:59
all dat every day. If I love them enough they will become available. But it des not work!
Bo M L
58:02
to change it and heal?
Jules
58:06
Thanks @Laura
jadanhuter
58:12
If someones red flag is lying but they want to fix it do you think that is possible to ever trust and grow from that
abh majumdar
58:16
well --- no words here lol cheated on my marriage to be with a person -- apparently being unmarried and working on ur divorce took the kick out of it .. I am boring now
Bethany
58:18
@Laura —YESSSS! Love that book so much! Also he has a podcast that is FABULOUS! Deeper Dating for the win!
Dan
58:26
Loving an unavailable person makes you feel good like you’re the one giving and giving, but it helps you avoid your own shit because you’re focussed on then
Jen
58:32
We need to save ourselves
Leslie
58:34
I know I am completely unavailable and the more bravely I face that the more fiercely I am able to heal myself and grow
Susan
58:34
How do you continue to stay open to people and keep trying
Laura
58:36
Welcome :)
Gina
58:43
Will Smith once said that BLAME and RESPONSIBILITY are two different things.
Sarah Stevenson
58:50
What was that quote? “It’s not our fault what happened, but it’s our responsibility to..."
Jennifer Turner
58:51
Difference between needy and venerablity?
Paulette
58:51
This is all so good
Jennifer
58:54
You’ll know when you are ready for love not addiction
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
58:57
completely yes
Suhasini Sundaresan
59:01
well said ❤️
abh majumdar
59:02
its what is hear sit in it
Joshua R
59:18
Well said, walking away is loving ourselves.
Brandi Wilson
59:21
Do you think it’s possible to explore/expect deep intimacy & love with a partner without exclusive commitment? I just left a 20+ year marraige & have done the work & want to deep dive but need space to heal & explore for a good long while since I’ve been on my own.
Natalie Blazevich
59:22
YES
brendabasile
59:22
yes
Briane Agostinelli
59:23
yes
Megan Pounder
59:25
Yepp
Tanishka Chawla
59:28
yes
katherine
59:28
Ooo yikes. Yes..
Peter Middleton
59:31
yes
Suhasini Sundaresan
59:31
yesss
Lee
59:34
Wow
Lee
59:43
Yup
Briane Agostinelli
59:50
or didn’t try hard enough or do enough
elinarudkovsky
59:56
yes
Brandi Wilson
59:56
(“Never” been on my own)
Dan
59:56
Oh fuck I always thought do I love this person enough to commit so I would run before getting any deeper, but really I was just protecting myself not them
Leslie
59:58
Shame suffocates
AFD
01:00:02
Betray them. Yes. One. Shits getting deep.
Jana
01:00:03
no
Chantale
01:00:03
Yes.. I broke my marriage and my family.. I hurt a lot of people by leaving my husband…!
Huda
01:00:10
Yes! Since I always live in fear of disappointing my strict parents
Lee
01:00:12
Omg
elinarudkovsky
01:00:15
@dan are you my ex?
Maria
01:00:18
Can you post these questions so we can reflect more…later?
Eileen Roche
01:00:34
I am currently fighting that feeling and I think its an excuse for not doing the work to truly show up for him
Jennifer
01:00:36
Put the mask on yourself first.
Elli
01:00:37
Yes @Maria thanks. Please do guys
Jenny Cruickshank
01:00:38
Yes I see that..... so they may just choose one nighters, flings, etc.
Melissa Malone
01:00:44
Agreed @maria
KARINA RYAN
01:00:50
What do you do if you don't trust yourself...oh gd' :/
katherine
01:00:58
It’s not that I don’t trust myself, it’s that I never trusted them to begin with
Chantale
01:01:03
Amen Mark!
Nikki
01:01:12
Dan can we talking DM bc you seem like the guy I went out with and would just like to get your thoughts on his point of view cause I'm so confused.
Catherine Davis
01:01:24
Going through that right now
Jules
01:01:44
“The responsibility that comes with closeness”
Judith Z
01:01:46
The fear of not being enough so they will end up leaving, but then they leave right in the beginning and I’m still broken and not enough
Gina
01:01:53
@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?
AFD
01:01:54
I ended a 28 year marriage. I finally chose myself but I hurt my kids. Forgiving yourself is a process.
Corazon ♥️
01:01:56
I also ended my 10 yr relationship because I believed & assumed that everything was going well between my fiance/boyfriend (realizing now that he was completely unavailable right from the start)
Gina
01:02:06
@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?
Amy Williamson Waldrup
01:02:07
That really hit. I divorced my husband after 12 years and hurt him so much. I never want to do that again. So I never date anyone for long. How do I change that?
Caroline
01:02:11
I don't believe I have the "power" to hurt anyone
Belinda Govatos
01:02:14
My husband has major abandonment issues and abandons me by joining online dating sites so he can abandon me before I can abandon him…even though I had no intention of abandoning him. It’s incredibly hurtful.
Laura Taylor
01:02:17
Hmmm…. I tend to punish, so if they did something to me, I react and try to hurt them back. A tit for tat situation. It’s childish and listening to Mark, I’ve realised I don’t want to act that way.
Leslie
01:02:18
My brother held blame for me all of his life and treated me like shit because if it and ruined the relationships and blamed me for everything
Diane
01:02:26
So true. Ending an engagement and I am crushed but have to do it.
Simona
01:02:28
definitely better to cut something off than to slowly shred a relationship
Chelsea Pimentel
01:02:29
this happened to me. such hurt and makes me afraid to hurt someone again... honestly didn't realize that until this
Akua Reid
01:02:33
Will this be available to watch again later this weekend?
Oliver Fecko
01:02:45
Why sometimes partners leave you once the relationship is perfect for a while after some challenges? Happened to me during last 2 relationship... they left just during the most beautiful period when we started talking about family and kids
Natalie James
01:02:47
LOVING THIS GUYS 🙏🏻
STTOWNING
01:02:54
Vienna, I don't know about anyone else but it is hard to hear you.
Alysha Gurr
01:02:58
Whoa is that written down somewhere? The differences between compromise and sacrifice?
Lynn
01:02:59
22 yr marriage done after I found out my ex didn't trust anyone after his first gf dumped him, including me
Brie Stoner
01:02:59
Yep. Bawling over here at the divorce insight
Sonia Dhuga
01:03:01
thanks veinna for recognizing that
Sonia Dhuga
01:03:09
its not easy work 😥
Chantale
01:03:09
Can someone finish the sentence mark said..”have a difference between sacrifice and …”
Suhasini Sundaresan
01:03:22
I find it super hard to value myself
Create The Love
01:03:22
Compromise
Christa Mariash
01:03:24
it's not easy, but it's raw and real.
AFD
01:03:26
The questions are really great.
Lee
01:03:26
Lol
Gina
01:03:26
@brie hugs
Lizette Montesinos
01:03:30
I’m going through a separation and potential divorce and I feel so damaged and feel like I’ve lost my self worth and am afraid of how my future relationships would look like because I’ll be afraid to hurt them
Maliha Gangat
01:03:31
Oh no so sorry Brie
Jules
01:03:34
Wow
Iliana
01:03:37
yes good one!!!
Akua Reid
01:03:39
For me Vienna is very clear, can hear with no trouble
Natalie James
01:03:40
Alysha: Compromise deepens trust & intimacy.
jaimereyes
01:03:43
D
Ansam Shaik
01:03:46
great question !!!
Sho Eli
01:03:55
Yessssss!! I just went through this!
Elli
01:03:56
Brie, Same here sister. Sending love <3
Lisa
01:04:01
lol, yup
Maliha Gangat
01:04:04
YESSSSSSSSSS HES A FUQQBOI
Gina
01:04:06
Do actions and words align? That’s what you need to pay attention to.
Laura Taylor
01:04:06
Lol! Sack him off
Xima (See-ma) Grube
01:04:06
Same just went through this literally yesterday.
Leslie
01:04:07
Words versus actions
Melissa Malone
01:04:10
wow this is my experience, "see how it goes"
Leslie
01:04:12
Always
Pamela Pesek
01:04:12
sounds like hes good with his works
Jules
01:04:13
Omg! 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️
Pamela Pesek
01:04:14
words
Amanda
01:04:15
This is me
Judy Dodd
01:04:15
me too.... he had anxious attachment
Xima (See-ma) Grube
01:04:16
Yep “its going too fast"
Roberto Madrigal
01:04:18
this is me
M Coopeer
01:04:19
saaaaame! but i didnt allow the space & be comfortable in it!!!
Susan
01:04:20
Ha!
Pamela Pesek
01:04:21
but doesn't follow through
Amanda
01:04:22
Help me
Amanda
01:04:23
lol
Bryana Intelisano
01:04:25
hes not ready
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:04:27
lol
alex
01:04:29
6 months?! He’s not into it
Gina
01:04:29
DO WORDS AND ACTIONS ALIGN
Luis Chou
01:04:29
lets just see where this goes...
Christina
01:04:30
going too fast then gets a gf after you
Ali Worley
01:04:30
Ha!
Tamara
01:04:30
Living this now
moniquesam
01:04:30
Holy crap this is what lead me to my toxic relationship
Hayley
01:04:31
Ughhhhhhhh
maya
01:04:31
he just not that into her
moniquesam
01:04:32
THISSSS
Lizette Montesinos
01:04:34
I ended up marrying that guy and now going through a dovorce
Ruth
01:04:35
Stop sex and let the stress tell
Luis Chou
01:04:35
lets not rush things...
Annie
01:04:37
And then 2 weeks later he dumped me
ileana
01:04:37
6 months and not sure???Is that normal!!!!????
Maliha Gangat
01:04:42
lmao
Tanishka Chawla
01:04:43
if you have voiced what bothers you, and he still doesn't make a change, gurl/boi LEAVE
Eileen Roche
01:04:43
Words = who we want to be vs actions = who they are
Siobhan Stofka
01:04:44
is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?
M Coopeer
01:04:45
I enjoy your company and I like you
Charley Thomas
01:04:46
100% my last relationship and then..."I don't think this is going any further than what it is now"
Tracey G
01:04:47
what about serial monogamists who marry, maybe even twice, get into long term relationships and appear to want commitment but never take a min in between relationships...
Maria
01:04:47
I’m Triggered
Maliha Gangat
01:04:50
Just stop sleeping with them and see how they act
Meghan M
01:04:50
actions speak louder than words
Ajo
01:04:50
I’m here for this!
Haley Leiter
01:04:53
YUUUUP just ended things with someone who I thought wanted a relationship, doing all the relationship ~things~ to find out we’re “not on the same page” months later… rough stuff
Natalie Blazevich
01:04:56
Hahahah maleeha that was the last guy I dated over the pandemic. Total fuckboiii
Siobhan Stofka
01:05:00
is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?
Sue Chapple
01:05:04
Maybe they don't realise they are unavailable until they are in a relationship. Happened to me recently.
Jenna Stajduhar
01:05:08
if their words and actions don't align.... there is your answer!
lisa shepard
01:05:09
F Boy! Been seeing one for 9 months!
Jules
01:05:18
Yes Mark that
Courtney Crispin
01:05:18
micro
sara-rosegarcia
01:05:22
Yeah!
Maliha Gangat
01:05:24
Yup NAT, been there done that.. never again lol , we gotta weed these losers out
Gina
01:05:24
THEY JUST ANSWERED THEIR OWN QUESTION
Avivi Huynh
01:05:25
pink flags
Katie Cavagnaro
01:05:27
Pink flags
M Coopeer
01:05:28
Yes Mark! Yeeeessss! yellow and red!!!
Leslie
01:05:30
Trust your gut and prioritize yourself
Nikki
01:05:33
my good friend didn't label the person she was dating until after a year into the relationship..she wanted to take it slow. They've now been together for 5 yrs and plan to propose next month.
Jen
01:05:34
It’s their actions we need to listen to
Jessica G
01:05:38
I call them red butterflies
Katie Branscum
01:05:39
This is literally every dating situation I’ve been in for the last 2 years
Sho Eli
01:05:44
I was just speaking to someone on an app who for a month was super sweet and said he wanted a relationship. As soon as we started texting, he got very sexual and when I called him out on the red flags that his actions didn't match his words and asked if he was being honest with what he wanted. I was met with silence and he never text me again.
Jessica G
01:05:49
I call them red butterflies
Catherine Davis
01:05:50
Like the fancy toothpicks you get in your club sandwich.....little red flags
Jenna
01:05:53
Communication right.
Bryana Intelisano
01:05:55
"pump the breaks"
Natalie Blazevich
01:05:56
Exactly! I feel like I’m so much more preparednow at weeding all those losers out! I don’t have time to waste
Dan
01:06:00
I’m in my 20s looking for only relationship no hookups and a girl on Tinder ghosted ME because I didn’t hookup on the first date 😂
Jules
01:06:01
Yeah give it time to see what happens, giving room for growth...made sense at the time
Kelsey Chapman
01:06:02
This has been a pattern for me too...I continue based on potential vs. current reality.
K
01:06:02
I notice I attract guys with mental health issues they’re not avoidant they’re more anxious and want love and because I’m an empath and work in psychology I try not to judge and give people chances- we all have mental health issues regardless but when I set boundaries and realize their mental health issues are unhealthy for me to stay I leave and they make me feel guilty for that but know I did the right thing- what can I do to not continue to attract these men ?
C. Slaughter
01:06:03
f*ckboi energy but it could be fear as well. You could be a spaceholder while he hopes for a stronger connection/attraction. Ugh, just left someone like this. he wouldn't admit he wasn't completely attracted to me but loved me as a person
Gina
01:06:03
@jen Actions AND words. Do they line up?
M Coopeer
01:06:10
lets take it slow & easy.....after 6 mths whats that mean??
Tamara
01:06:14
Ya it’s ok to give stuff time ...
Brigitte Bourque
01:06:16
omg tracy I get that
Bella A
01:06:27
lol
Leslie
01:06:29
You do not need to fear anything when you are your own partner and priority
Mia
01:06:33
I seen “how it went” for 9 months and whenwe got into a big argument, that’s when he decided to ask me because he was scared to lose me.We’re broken up now, and We still talk, but he’s told me that he feels less pressured to be in a relationship…..I’m trying to be gentle with myself for sticking around, even when I know it’s not my truth, I want to be in a romantic relationship woth him but it’s just different
Natalie Blazevich
01:06:36
After 3 months, if they don’t know if they want to be exclusive, I’m out lol
Ni
01:06:36
I feel like we usually know what’s up but don’t want to hear it.
Simona
01:06:37
sounds like passive reciprocation.. are you giving a lot and he's jut like "yeah ok". if you stopped giving time/attention/wtv would you never hear from him again?
Emilly Dubeau
01:06:38
My friend is seeing a guy who isn't divorced yet, isn't even separated...still living with his ex-wife, but she's CONVINCED he's "the one" and I'm like NO WAY! That's a HUGE red flag! Am I right??
Keri
01:06:38
over a year and it's let's give it another 6 months... lord
sanj
01:06:46
Your needs? Your standards? Your boundaries
Meghan M
01:06:55
@emily absolutely!!
Barbara Watkins
01:06:57
What about at 2 months
Tammara
01:06:58
Exactly!
Tana
01:07:00
agreed mark.
Amanda
01:07:01
What if they have been “committed” for almost a year and still doesn’t want to move forward but acts like it????
Tyson Wolbaum
01:07:02
If you are honest how can you tell if you are available/unavailable?
C. Slaughter
01:07:03
100% accurate @Leslie
Tamara
01:07:03
When is clarity expected
Jules
01:07:03
Thank you that’s affirming and helpful
Revinka Dias
01:07:05
how do we know how much time is enough :/
Tamara
01:07:07
3 months
Jen
01:07:08
That was me in my dating experience
Gina
01:07:10
Because someone could act like a boyfriend or girlfriend, but tell you straight up they don’t want a relationship.
C. Slaughter
01:07:11
That's what made it easy to leave
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
01:07:11
what about this same situation but at 4 months ?
Emilly Dubeau
01:07:14
they work together too!! it's so messy
Xima (See-ma) Grube
01:07:14
Barbara was thinking same with 3 months, I think I am going to give it another month and see how I FEEL
Karla
01:07:16
Can you be anxious about the relationship at 3 months?
Jenny Cruickshank
01:07:17
The clarity may be to be friends,,, truly just friends. not easy if you are the one who still wants more
Sarah K
01:07:17
I think 2 months is enough time
Charley Thomas
01:07:20
what about 4 1/2 after meeting parents/friends/attending cottages & wedding together LOL
Kim
01:07:25
Okay I am a woman and this may not be the popular answer, but why do you want a relationship with someone right away that you are still finding out about? Aren't we trying to see if they have the qualities we align ourselves with? Too much pressure to define it within 1-2 months? A lot of people ask me on the 2nd date what we are. I don't like that pressure. I want to be open and let it unfold
cherice
01:07:25
Yes same experience too with online dating
Judy Dodd
01:07:28
DING DING they dont know themselves
Dina Marie
01:07:29
His way of saying without saying, that he’s still looking for. Something better. Period
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:07:32
6 months is too long for this
Iliana Gerasimenko
01:07:38
I do believe people who know themselves and know what they want would be intentional about dating and relationships, because who has time to waste?
Ruth
01:07:40
Red butterflies 😂
El
01:07:44
the time you decide before meeting someone is enough. we’ve all seen how love works in healthy relationships. when someone wants you, they have no problems deciding this. This is what i’m heearing
Nikki
01:07:45
@Natalie I agree as well.. after 3 months not exclusive ✌
Tracey G
01:07:46
I think unless you've gone through therapy and grieved, even if you meet an amazing person, don't see how you can be available if you date when separated or just after a long-term relationship. I don't get it...mabybe I wish I could move on that quickly lol
Tanishka Chawla
01:07:51
agree Iliana!
Leah
01:07:51
18 months and haven’t even talked about the future…we are in a committed relationship but were both burned by ex husband & ex wife so I think we’re both scared to discuss…
ileana
01:07:54
Agree!!!!!!
Avalon Rehn
01:07:56
+1
Briane Agostinelli
01:07:56
YES!
Bryana Intelisano
01:07:57
yes
ileana
01:07:57
Agree
brendabasile
01:07:58
yup
MikeO
01:07:58
YES
jacquelynhope
01:07:59
exactly
Haley Leiter
01:07:59
THANK YOUUUU and I’m not asking them to propose!!!
ileana
01:07:59
Agree
Tara-lee
01:07:59
Yes!!
Debra Noble
01:08:00
YES
Veronique L
01:08:00
Thank you!!! YeS
Tammara
01:08:01
OMG YES!!!!
Christa Mariash
01:08:01
100!!!
Tana
01:08:01
@kim...I totally agree!
Natalie Haggar
01:08:02
PREACH!
Sarah Lehar
01:08:03
Amen
Lian Newallo
01:08:04
yes definitely
Rachel
01:08:04
yessssssssss
Eve
01:08:04
fk yesss
moniquesam
01:08:05
YESSS OBVIOUSLY
Ginger
01:08:05
YESSSSSSS
Kelsey Chapman
01:08:05
yes!
ileana
01:08:05
Hahahaha
Rebecca Tucker
01:08:06
YASSSSSSSS!!!
Christa Mariash
01:08:06
like get over yourself
elmiraziaei
01:08:06
YES
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:08:06
totally
Bryana Intelisano
01:08:06
just stating intentions
Annie
01:08:06
TELL MEN THAT
cherice
01:08:06
They say they want a relationship but then you find out either they are completely unavailable for a relationship or have no clue what they want
Jennifer
01:08:07
Yes
Jen G
01:08:08
yesss
Jimena gioino
01:08:09
guys think soooo
jacquelynhope
01:08:09
WORD
Gary Gottselig
01:08:09
hahah YESSS
Jen Leclaire
01:08:09
What if there are kids involved because of divorce? It’s complicated
Sujata Singhal
01:08:09
I feel like I keep meeting these types of people and sometimes I can’t help at 44 if I’m bringing that out in them…even though I know we can’t blame them. I grew up with parents who had an arranged marriage and very respectful and interdependent…it’s so confusing for me, because I don’t push and in fact sometimes the guy will be all hung ho and project it onto me
Stephanie LoPresti
01:08:10
Haha!
Maliha Gangat
01:08:11
YES LMAO
Natalie Blazevich
01:08:12
Yes!!!
cherice
01:08:12
So frustrating!!
Rhiannon
01:08:13
I think men assume they mean you right now!
Tara-lee
01:08:13
💯
Maliha Gangat
01:08:17
Gotta school THESE BOYS!!
Suhasini Sundaresan
01:08:18
I was in that sham relationship
Jennifer B
01:08:19
I had a guy ask me after a month "where is this going" freaked me the fuck out! 5 months later we still haven't defined it.
sanj
01:08:19
3 months - discovery phase. Some people may not be clear on what they want. If you are , move on ....
apriljones
01:08:21
agreed
Kassandra Sanchez
01:08:23
They don’t know that….they being men.
El
01:08:24
Men think we want to get married today. we don’t
Kim
01:08:28
Too much too soon comes off as needy and desparate
Corrine (she/hers)
01:08:34
It's also shows how much their fears are right at the front of everything.
Lisa
01:08:36
exactly
michelle
01:08:38
I feel like it’s okay to say that you’re looking for something serious and weed people out that way. However some people I am around think this is too much pressure..thoughts?
jaimereyes
01:08:40
My girlfriend and I last spoke (texted) on my birthday last month. She felt that the relationship became toxic because I haven’t healed from past relationships. Issues of abandonment and trust have haunted me. I know that I had instances of hurtful reaction rather than healthy responsiveness. During this past month, I’ve realized the wrong choices and I want to be better. Thing is, I’m still deeply in love with her and I don’t know where to go from here. Please help!!
Haley Leiter
01:08:42
Preachhhhhh
Yohanah
01:08:43
Oof
Dan
01:08:44
YES. Knowing the desired end result and endgame doesn’t mean you’re declaring it right here right now with that specific person, just being honest about the outcome you want.
Haley Leiter
01:08:45
So guilty of that
Jen
01:08:46
Yessss
Leslie
01:08:47
Yes Vienna!!
Jules
01:08:50
Yeeessss Vienna. Shape shifting uffff
Catherine Davis
01:08:50
It’s healthy to verbalize your end game goal, weed out the rookies to make room for a veteran
Alie D
01:08:51
The pace didn’t work for me for 7 years LOL
michelle
01:08:53
Omg yes tuning into ourselves is important and difficult
Gary Gottselig
01:08:53
YES.
Tracey G
01:08:54
It is irritating when people start romanticizing and tell you how they imagine a future, moving in...then as soon as it gets serious, or "normal" they become avoidant
cordeliasidijaya
01:08:59
yessss! thanks for that reminder :)
Alyse Goodacre
01:09:01
And having the self worth to check if it is working and bounce if it’s not
Amanda
01:09:05
Yes!!!!!! Amen!!!
Susan
01:09:05
I’m in a long distance relationship and the pace for me right now is perfect, slow and old fashioned after having a rough go
Leslie Aiza Morales
01:09:06
💯💯💯💯💯
Emma
01:09:06
I was dating someone who was ‘All In’ from the get go. We were very in Love, marriage, kids, moving in type of convos.. felt right & natural. We basically lived together & saw each other every day for 2 months. Then the closer & more intimate we got all of a sudden they started withdrawing & shutting down. I’m assuming this is avoidance. I’m curious your assessment. The relationship ended in what felt like ‘mid flight’ with them in total emotional shut down. And then they basically ghosted me & blocked me everywhere.
Andrea
01:09:06
We have to think do I LIKE THIS PERSON.. not do they like me
Jen G
01:09:06
I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not
katherine
01:09:07
He probably a Taurus ♉️ lol
Jennifer
01:09:08
Look inside yourself at all times
Ni
01:09:10
High five ✋
Tamara
01:09:12
Thank you
Lisa
01:09:17
yup yup
Deborah Morabito
01:09:20
yes!! always come back to what you want. What is in alignment with YOU. LOVE THIS.
Leslie
01:09:23
We are so programmed to focus on the other
Jen G
01:09:24
I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not
Jen
01:09:25
100%
apriljones
01:09:27
thanks for that!
Leslie
01:09:31
Focus on yourself
apriljones
01:09:35
exactly!
M Coopeer
01:09:37
So - how should one safely communicate that to them?
Tammara
01:09:38
I needed to hear this!
Jenna Strusowski
01:09:39
Up your standards
Kandra Wooten
01:09:40
We have to be willing to accept that some people aren’t in the space that we are at or wanting….so hard.
Maria
01:09:40
Exactly
Celena
01:09:42
NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!!!
AMBER
01:09:42
what is your take on taking a break with your partner of 7 years or just relationship breaks in general
Jessica
01:09:42
Yes Vienna preachhhh!!!!
M Coopeer
01:09:48
because anxious - aggression
Luis Chou
01:09:48
what if I doubt about my own pace? what if I believe that im the one rushing things?
Yohanah
01:09:49
Dang ...
Stephanie LoPresti
01:09:50
Ahh, love that.
cherice
01:09:52
You should at least have the same intentions though from the begining of dating right? As in you are both looking for an actual relationship/partnership. Yes it takes time to build but the problem is people don't have true intentions
Maliha Gangat
01:09:53
Love it
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:09:53
Yessss don't abandon yourself
Viktoria
01:09:57
I love that! I never looked at it that way.
Tammy Loblick
01:09:58
Oh JaimeReyes that’s tough hun.
STTOWNING
01:10:00
wow! I get to think about myself? that's new to me
Rebecca Tucker
01:10:00
Self-tracking vs. Other tracking!
Pamela Pesek
01:10:02
I was just in this situation - we revisited 5 months down the road and he still said I don't know. you're 38 years old, figure it out
Jennifer
01:10:02
If I love me would I like this?
Eric C
01:10:04
Rhiannon T. P?
Amy Roth
01:10:04
That was HUGE! Does the pace work for me!
Tyson Wolbaum
01:10:12
why is time the unit to measure instead of connection?
Jen G
01:10:12
How do you know if someone is wasting your time?
Gina
01:10:12
Yeah, why do we worry so much about why someone’s gonna choose us? We should wonder whether or not we are gonna choose them, whether they are good enough for us!
Michelle Sohn
01:10:13
But as we check in we need to validate against norms?
Pamela Pesek
01:10:16
lets start adulting
lisa
01:10:16
isn’t the hard part here, tho, choosing between waiting longer with this person or going back to zero? they both feel like what we might not want
Maria
01:10:18
So many truth bombs here!
Kate Donahue
01:10:18
that's me!
Nicole
01:10:20
Is being a 30 year old virgin a red flag? Past emotional trauma that has been explored and worked through but is this a red flag for people? Do you need to tell other people?
Gary Gottselig
01:10:21
I need to learn this!!
Meghan M
01:10:21
amen vienna. what decision would I make if I was prioritizing what I wanted over what they want?
Jules
01:10:24
I practices all this that you described but tooo slowly last time...
sara balbas
01:10:25
❤️❤️
Gary Gottselig
01:10:25
Ready to learn this. :)
Leslie
01:10:26
Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself
Deborah Morabito
01:10:27
choosing and being chosen.. I feel like I am crushing all my short term relationships lol
Maliha Gangat
01:10:33
BEEN THERE DONE THAT LOL MEN JUST DRAG THEIR FEET….
Jen
01:10:35
Yesss feel into your power
Lake Tullis
01:10:35
Get your power back!!!
Jennifer
01:10:36
Inner validation not outward
Ashley Nation
01:10:38
That was my ex. Couldn’t have the convo to end it.
Lake Tullis
01:10:39
You get to chose
Pamela Pesek
01:10:43
and eff yes - I am awesome, if you don't see the value in me then that is your loss
apriljones
01:10:45
It’s about being 100% honest with what we want. Not playing games and verbalizing that!
Cindy
01:10:50
Instead of being focused on whether they like me... remind myself, do I even like them?
Pamela Pesek
01:10:55
bye!
Lake Tullis
01:10:55
It feels sogood@
Gina
01:11:00
Focus on choosing, not being chosen!!!
Catherine Davis
01:11:01
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Jennifer
01:11:02
No games be honest from the get go
Leslie
01:11:02
Own your power
Lisa
01:11:05
the sooner you end it, the sooner your back on the market. Hes wasting your time
C. Slaughter
01:11:05
Yup, I didn't wanna be another woman who didn't stick around and be what he needed. But I needed more. We were about a year in
Leslie
01:11:07
Yasssss
Maliha Gangat
01:11:09
HELLL TO THE YES ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU
stefanie.berger
01:11:09
Had to break up with my BF gf 9 months because we had diff paces. I’m 40 never married and want a kid, he’s been married and has kids. Hardest convo to have but needed it!!! Thank you for reminding me I made right decision
Sho Eli
01:11:10
Yep-- it's empowering to leave and choose yourself!!!
Gary Gottselig
01:11:10
Woohoo!! :)
Jenni Meskus
01:11:13
Yesss! Get your fucking power back!
Lindie
01:11:14
I’d love to hear you two speak about tips on how to heal after being in a relationship with gaslighting or emotional manipulation?
Jenna Stajduhar
01:11:15
I use this as part of my filtering process for dating- what are you looking for? what is your relationship desire? if their goals are not in alignment with mine, I move on. I do this before I even meet! huge help!
cherice
01:11:15
YES!!!
Xima (See-ma) Grube
01:11:15
Mark what did you mean - “when do our expectations become walls….”?
Rhiannon
01:11:21
Just did this! Gave him 6 months to settle and sort out his life. And still I was uncertain of where I stood. So I was like you know I think you should find somewhere else to live.
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:11:21
dont be small for them
Lisa
01:11:22
hes getting what he wants, but your not getting what you want
Alyse Goodacre
01:11:22
Oh I struggle with leaving!! And regret/ self doubt
Jennifer
01:11:22
Intuition tells you always
Laura
01:11:23
Biiig red flag I experienced earlier this month: after arguing for silly things, I discovered he texted an escort lady to meet (they didn’t meet). But just the fact to send or have this idea ... so disrespectful... and we’ve been dating for 8 months ...The prob is : trying to find the solution outside instead of within !
Sarah Krysalka
01:11:29
Oh that gets me - someone dragging someone along and letting things go dead because they don’t have the COURAGE to voice what they want/need/know
Katie Delgado
01:11:32
How do you know when you’ve healed enough after a breakup to start dating again?
mikaldobbins
01:11:34
Thank you for validating my choices!
Maliha Gangat
01:11:36
Love that mark
Revinka Dias
01:11:36
to love yourself enough to leave
Brooke Edgecombe
01:11:40
What Mark is saying now is so important. I never choose to leave and do it. Even if I know it’s not right.
Maliha Gangat
01:11:44
NO WE NEED ANOTHER HOUR’
Courtney Crispin
01:11:45
Wow this went by fast
Tana
01:11:46
yep. people show you who they are. Always. That's the ultimate tell.
Kandra Wooten
01:11:47
How do you get back out there in a healthy relationship - post bad relationship
Anastasia
01:11:53
sooooooo many red flags
Maretta Cooper
01:11:57
AND! Its OK! Dating is sorting!
Gina
01:11:59
BOI BYE
AFD
01:12:00
I loved your post on boundaries vs barriers. I did a screen shot and sent it to him. His barriers have worn me out. I’m done now.
Meghan M
01:12:00
mark deserves an oscar
Maliha Gangat
01:12:00
Lmao
Elli
01:12:01
There s a greek song that says the one who knows how to love knows how to break up. I used to hate up when growing up and denied it. Now I get it, and I say thanks
Tamika Hudson
01:12:01
Is this recorded because I missed most of this unfortunately
KARINA RYAN
01:12:01
This has been amazing!
Natalie Blazevich
01:12:02
Hahaha YES we need another hour! Or all night 😂
Eric C
01:12:11
Rhiannon are you from RI?!
Leslie
01:12:11
Absolutely
Maliha Gangat
01:12:12
This stuff is so juicy haha
Leslie
01:12:14
Move forward
Ashley Nation
01:12:15
Why do I keep chasing?
Sho Eli
01:12:15
Hahahahaha - Mark's story telling skills are on fire!!
Gina
01:12:15
BOI BYE
Brigitte Bourque
01:12:18
Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.
Jen G
01:12:18
That isn’t your guy! You can’t force someone to be ready for something
Dan
01:12:19
Oh god my standards were impossible. @Xina my expectations were impossible for anyone to meet. Massive WALLS. I’ve pushed away the most beautiful, kind, loving people because of 1 or 2 minor perceived flaws.
Lisa
01:12:20
yes, respect his wishes and see whose next
Katie Branscum
01:12:24
ummm this is my life right now
Alex Taschuk
01:12:25
lmao mark
Jennifer
01:12:27
Deep dive
Kristen Wynne
01:12:29
When there's a difference between words and actions...be curious. whew. All the feels there.
Natalie James
01:12:31
😅 let’s grope this one
Xima (See-ma) Grube
01:12:31
O00O0O0O0O0 Dan got it, that’s so helpful
Leslie
01:12:46
Always move forward stop waiting
Jennifer
01:12:57
Don’t chase
Rhiannon
01:12:59
Eric I'm in Australia
Ruth
01:13:03
Yesss !!!!
Corazon ♥️
01:13:03
agree on When action & words don't match be curious!
Leslie
01:13:09
Stop waiting to be chosen
Suhasini Sundaresan
01:13:10
it's exhausting
Leslie
01:13:13
Choose yourself
Catherine Davis
01:13:17
He needs to see this 👌 it’s been so informative
Sussie Mellstedt
01:13:19
Yes. When the word isn't align with their action... also Track record. What is the track of repeated behaviour. From past until now.. Can reveals a lot as well.
Brigitte Bourque
01:13:26
Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.
Kyi
01:13:26
Dated a guy who told me that I don’t understand him and his divorce and ended things with me. He pushed me away when his close got close to me. He always needed space and breaks. And yet I’m the one feeling like I did something wrong even though I know it’s him. Why do I feel this way?
Elli
01:13:30
Best advice I got: IF IT"S A MAYBe it's a no
Katie Branscum
01:13:33
This is what I’m experiencing right now and I’ve had to pull back to protect myself and honor myself so that I’m not presenting myself for him as a convenience when he really isn’t willing/able to commit
Natalie Blazevich
01:13:40
Omg Thats how I feel about matt Mahleea!
Melinda
01:13:45
Thanks for this, I need to hop off but look forward to watching the rest on the recording!
Maliha Gangat
01:13:48
yesssssss
abh majumdar
01:14:03
i confronted why u not available and went into no contact
Natalie Blazevich
01:14:05
*Maliha
Leslie
01:14:05
Give them space let them decide for themselves at their own time
Leslie
01:14:17
You do not need to help them
Leslie
01:14:24
You do not need to do it for them
Gina
01:14:24
If he doesn’t want to get married, he can’t meet your needs. Don’t waste your time anymore. You can’t change his mind.
Maliha Gangat
01:14:25
Haha all good. Struggle to have those tuff convo's
SB
01:14:27
Do you think it's okay to have someone facilitate the conversations that are tough? Like even early on. Agreeing to help each other grow regardless of the outcome.
Leslie
01:14:31
You do not need to hold their hand
Ashley Nation
01:14:32
Why do I feel I’m the cause of the ghosting. Like instead of them pulling away- maybe I pushed them away
abh majumdar
01:14:32
been doing that for 6 months ..
Bárbara
01:14:33
I’m not American or Canadian and I never understand the difference between seeing and dating. In Brazil there has to be a formal ask to address whether you’re in a relationship or not. Until that question is asked there are no strings attached what.
Laura Taylor
01:14:35
Agree - helping them with their trauma.
Leslie
01:14:36
They are an adult
Leslie
01:14:45
Let them grow!!
abh majumdar
01:14:51
verbally abused -- but won't openly tell u -- wold still call u
Natalie Blazevich
01:15:01
It sucks that he can’t have the convo with me. I know that’s how he feels. I’m so intuitive lol
Nikki
01:15:02
Dan you pushed away someone amazing bc of 1 or 2 flaws they had? is that what you're saying? 🤔
abh majumdar
01:15:06
as long as u don't confront them they will be ok
Haley Leiter
01:15:09
“We’re not here to solution things for other people” MANNNNN.. I needed to hear that
Mark (Toronto ON Canada)
01:15:14
All of this sounds like we need to have a doctorate in relating with each other. What about… just BE-ING in the moment with each other… loving ourselves in full Awareness. I’m feeling it is like walking on a time bomb…
Ashley Nation
01:15:19
And I hope for the best and continue chasing. Definitely being anxiously attached doesn’t help
Deborah Morabito
01:15:19
leaving space - epic.
Amanda
01:15:21
Also back to check in with you… if they don’t want marriage and you do then you know what your need to know.
Dan
01:15:25
@nikki Send me your IG name and I can message you after if you’d like. I’ve been following Mark & others for years trying to heal my FA pattern of attachment. I’m only in my 20s but becoming very aware of what was driving my previous relational failures and avoidance etc. so maybe it can help you understand your guy.
Leslie
01:15:29
Tacos!!!!!
abh majumdar
01:15:31
why don't they teach all this shit in scholl.
Leslie
01:15:34
Yay!!!!!
abh majumdar
01:15:34
schoolll
maya
01:15:35
TACOS LOL
Maliha Gangat
01:15:35
HE BETTER STAY FOR TACO;S lol
Catherine Davis
01:15:37
🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮
jody
01:15:40
🌮💗💗
Amanda
01:15:41
😂🤣😂🤣 tacos ❤️❤️❤️
Natalie Blazevich
01:15:42
Bahahahaha
Nikki
01:15:46
IG: ndavila15
maya
01:15:48
i love the space concept
shannon
01:15:49
lol
Leslie
01:15:49
Burritos!!!!!
Nikki
01:15:49
thanks Dan
Gina
01:15:54
Tacos!!!!!
Leslie
01:15:59
Guacamole!!!!!
maya
01:16:03
how do you give space and protect yourself?
Jennifer
01:16:06
This is such a good webinar
abh majumdar
01:16:10
i like Tacos lol
maria
01:16:11
IG majcordova
Laura Taylor
01:16:12
That’s a deep connection conversation
averywilliams
01:16:22
btw happy pride month to all of my fellow rainbow babes
shannon
01:16:24
great webinar!
Laura
01:16:37
This was great! Thanks 🙏🏽
Natalie Blazevich
01:16:40
“I don’t believe in monogamy or marriage because everyone cheats”
Gina
01:16:43
Thanks @averywilliams! Demisexual here
Andrea Ishak
01:16:49
What if we try to communicate but the person always avoids communication even though everything he does shows intrest
Leslie
01:16:50
Let them grow!!
maria
01:16:50
happy pride month
Laura Taylor
01:16:59
Fuck that
Sally Reid
01:17:05
Can I also redefine the phrase “having children”
Laura Taylor
01:17:07
Haha
Leslie
01:17:13
Trust the universe
Kelsey Chapman
01:17:20
hahaha this is so great!
Leslie
01:17:25
Stop controlling your reality
shane
01:17:27
Mark you are the man
Tamara
01:17:33
Yes!!!
Brie Stoner
01:17:35
I am new to dating after healing from a divorce and I feel so confused by the breadcrumbing between dating apps and social media. I feel so confused by it and it feels like a flag land. I just can’t tell what is normal and what is red.
Maliha Gangat
01:17:39
@NAT the worst.
Jennifer
01:17:40
The universe has your back listen to it
Jules
01:17:41
Ha! Great analogy Mark 🌳🌲
Leslie
01:17:47
Let go and flow
Tamara
01:17:54
What happens when someone says we don’t see the world in the same ways !!
monika feth
01:17:55
Will there be a chance to see the replay. Yourwebinar is frozen( here in Canada ). Getting no sound
Michelle
01:17:59
Yes, Brie!
Veronique L
01:18:00
You are both so good, love this!!!! 🙌
Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3
01:18:07
@avery and @gina - I am demi/queer too <3 happy pride/wrath ;)
Bryana Intelisano
01:18:13
incredible webinar
Fiona Luke
01:18:18
You , I have to get ok with the uniqueness and difference of the other - and con i trust that that difference isn’t going to get bigger
Tamara
01:18:18
Like how do you explore that question
Gina
01:18:24
Yaaay @polly
Natalie Blazevich
01:18:26
@Maliha wish it could be different. Or wish I could do a hypnosis and remove him from my mind lol
Nikki
01:18:27
Leslie great book by Gabrielle Bernstein. Read most of her books!
Leslie
01:18:36
Love her
Natalie Blazevich
01:18:39
Hahaha that totally happened to me tho bc I said I wanted marriage and kids lmao
Jenna Stajduhar
01:18:43
@brie take Mark's dating course- LEGIT life changing!!
Maliha Gangat
01:18:47
Lmao I hear you.
Ajo
01:18:47
I need to define my words for marriage it’s so different from the norm
Ajo
01:18:50
Thank you
sara balbas
01:19:03
Will this recording be available for us to hear after and send to all of our friends
Gina
01:19:03
Question: The love of my life died in January. I’ve done a lot of healing, but I wonder if I’m hanging onto my grief because I’m terrified of getting back out into the dating world. Romanticizing what could have been makes me feel safe in a strange way. How do I tell the difference between true grief and avoidance in my behavior? How do I move beyond it?
monika feth
01:19:04
No video feed either 🙁
Leslie
01:19:04
Alignment
Elli
01:19:13
fortunately! that's what we're here for!
Dina Marie
01:19:14
Breakups are hard regardless. Have it legal aspects doesn’t make I harder emotionally, maybe he is just afraid of that level of commitment in general…that’s worth a talk
Maliha Gangat
01:19:17
Need to bump into grown up men but again, there are 40 - 50 year olds who aint ready!! :_
jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu
01:19:18
Do you believe that if having an anxious attachment you can’t/shouldn’t be with an avoidant?
P
01:19:19
Relationship 101
Ashley Nation
01:19:19
Why do I keep pushing people away
Leslie
01:19:19
We love you so much
Dale Woods
01:19:21
thank you both for your time. it's been fantastic, ive made so many notes
Anastasia
01:19:23
someday maybe I'll learn lol
Joy William
01:19:24
Really enjoyed this. I have some learning and exploration to do. Thank you Mark and Vienna!
Debra Noble
01:19:24
thank you both!
sara-rosegarcia
01:19:24
Thank you!!
Rio
01:19:24
Thank u!!!
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:19:25
Thank you both
Sheri Salata
01:19:25
👏
Jenny Cruickshank
01:19:26
Thank you!!!!!!!!1
Christina
01:19:27
Thank you!
Tamara
01:19:27
Thank you sooo much
Rebecca Tucker
01:19:27
Thank you both!!!
Leslie
01:19:27
So grateful!!
Natalie James
01:19:27
Amazing guys!!
Sho Eli
01:19:28
Thank you!!!!!
Heidi
01:19:28
Thank you Mark & Vienna
Sussie Mellstedt
01:19:28
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Jenna Strusowski
01:19:28
Thank you!
Maria
01:19:28
Thank you!!!!
Barbara Watkins
01:19:29
You guys are awesome!!
Ellen Price
01:19:29
I should be a red flag expert now!!
Kim
01:19:29
Thank you!!
Jax
01:19:29
Rematching! Thank you both! XO
Dayana Argoti
01:19:29
yaaay for recordings!
ynewton
01:19:30
Thank you!
shannon
01:19:30
thanks guy! awesome!
Natalie Fraser
01:19:30
Thank you both very interesting!
Sara
01:19:30
@gina. I am in the same boat
Megan Pounder
01:19:31
Thank you both so much for your time! :)
Ajo
01:19:31
Thank you both!! 💗💗💗🤸💗
Oliver Fecko
01:19:31
Thanks a lot!!!!
Gina
01:19:31
thank you 🙏🏻
María
01:19:31
Thank youuu
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:19:31
Amazing!!!!!!!
Patricia Birch
01:19:31
thank you!!
Rani Abiola
01:19:31
Thanks so much!
Elli
01:19:31
thank you both! <3
Jenna
01:19:32
Loved it!
Safiyah
01:19:32
If we wanted to explore some of these topics discussed today further, what are next steps?
L M
01:19:32
Thank you so much!
Lizzy
01:19:32
thank you, this could not have been better
Catherine Davis
01:19:32
Thank you 🙏
yvonne wagner
01:19:33
Thank you!,,,
Quincie
01:19:33
This was awesome!!!!!!
Judy Dodd
01:19:33
thank you
Jennifer Turner
01:19:33
Thank you!!!
Brittany Rizzo
01:19:33
Thank you
Casey (Casshawndra) Barber
01:19:34
Thank you!!!
Jenni Meskus
01:19:34
Thank you both!
Natalie Blazevich
01:19:35
Thank you so much!!
Steph
01:19:35
Thank you both!!!
Kate Donahue
01:19:35
this was so insightful. thank you!
Jenna
01:19:35
❤️❤️❤️
Christa Mariash
01:19:35
amazing work. thank you both.
tina
01:19:36
Thanks to both of you. Xxx
Danielle
01:19:36
You guys are awesome!!!!!! Thank you!!!
Queennie
01:19:36
Yay!
Ali Worley
01:19:37
Thank-you both.
Marc
01:19:38
Thanks!
Dena
01:19:38
Thank you!!
Jessica
01:19:38
thank you both! my two fave IG love gurus!
Bryana Intelisano
01:19:38
we need more!
Jan
01:19:38
Thanks so much
Becca
01:19:38
Thank you!
Suhasini Sundaresan
01:19:38
THANK YOUUUU
Linda
01:19:38
Thank you!
KARINA RYAN
01:19:39
Thank you <3 BOTH
Eric C
01:19:40
Thank you guys!
Nikki
01:19:40
I'm so sorry Gina..I can't imagine..🙏💖
Sarah Troy
01:19:40
Thank you both for such an informative session
Bryana Intelisano
01:19:40
loved
Anna
01:19:40
Thank you both for running this - excellent!
Cathy
01:19:40
Thank you so much :)
Kat
01:19:40
Thank you! ❤️
SB
01:19:40
link in chat?
Guergana
01:19:40
Thank you
Stace
01:19:41
I love you guys, follow you BOTH on Insta <3
Casey (Casshawndra) Barber
01:19:41
Thank you!!!!!
john
01:19:42
THANKS!!
Christina
01:19:42
don't goooo!!!!
Anastasia
01:19:42
thank you:) looking forward to watching the whole thing
Queennie
01:19:42
So insightful!
Kat
01:19:43
Thank you
Joanna Filipov
01:19:44
@mindfulmft
Ms. Justine
01:19:44
Thank you so much for this session <3
Tammara
01:19:45
Thank you both!!!
Viktoria
01:19:46
Thank you so much! Loved it!
Jenna
01:19:46
Thank you!!!
Rachel Fecteau
01:19:47
Thank you very much, I appreciate it very much
Melissa Malone
01:19:48
Thankful for this, THANK YOU
Joanna Filipov
01:19:48
@createthelove
María
01:19:48
Thank youuuu
Karla Gregory
01:19:48
thank you for giving me your time!
Yohanah
01:19:49
Join Mine’d guys
Maliha Gangat
01:19:49
I wished I was in NYC LOL
Stace
01:19:50
this has been insightful
Thalia Brito
01:19:52
Thank you both
jody
01:19:53
Thank you both .Mark ... are you going to have tacos 🌮 now ? 😂
Ellen Price
01:19:53
Thank you both so much!!
Megan
01:19:54
Much gratitude - be well!
Alex Taschuk
01:19:56
Thanks for this incredible webinar and your big GIVES to us. Love you both, thank you so so much <33333 Sending lots of love to all the beauties in this chat! <3
Leslie
01:19:56
Vienna is the best ever!!
Farrel
01:19:56
Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today. Loved listening to this!
Rachel
01:19:56
thank you Marc and Vienna!!
Coreyposb
01:19:57
Thank you!
Jenna Stajduhar
01:19:59
Thank you, this was amazing!
Melissa Jara
01:19:59
Very insightful, thank you for your time!
Stace
01:20:00
thanks from Toronto, CANADA !!!
Joanna Filipov
01:20:00
http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/
Lian Newallo
01:20:01
thank you for this session! I am working on myself to heal using these topics raised
AFD
01:20:02
Thank you so much
Megan
01:20:03
Thank you!!!
Gina
01:20:05
Thank you, @Nikki
Nicole
01:20:06
Thank you so much for this <3
C. Slaughter
01:20:07
Thank you both. This has been so informative
Charity
01:20:08
Thank you 🙏
Joanna Filipov
01:20:10
https://createthelove.com/
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:20:11
The BEST thank you so gratful
Jasmine
01:20:11
thanks so much! this call had lots of great helpful information🙃
Tanishka Chawla
01:20:11
Thank you so much!
Atoosa
01:20:12
=Thank you both of you!
Laura Taylor
01:20:13
Thank you guys! Great chat
P
01:20:13
thank you
Robin
01:20:13
Thank you!
Diane Langille
01:20:14
thanks!😊
Jules
01:20:14
Thank you soooo much! This was incredible! Love Mine’dCongrats on the baby! ✨✨✨
Christina
01:20:14
love the mine'd app!!!
Taylor
01:20:14
thank you <3
Leslie
01:20:15
Mark is the best person!!
Sue Seely
01:20:17
Thank you Mark and Vienna, love and gratitude to you both!! Xoxo
Your Teacher Agneta Lindberg
01:20:17
Thanks so much 🙏
Brigitte Bourque
01:20:18
thank you
CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI
01:20:18
thank you!
SB
01:20:18
Ty Joanna!
jennifer
01:20:23
Thank you so much from Sydney
Ni
01:20:23
Miss you. Happy to see you. 🥰
S
01:20:23
Thank you!!!
Alana Trevino
01:20:23
Thank you so much!!!
Jean Caprio
01:20:24
Thank you both!!!!
Courtney Crispin
01:20:24
Thank you!
K
01:20:26
Thank you!!
Sally Reid
01:20:26
Thank you!! This was eye opening
Nicole
01:20:27
Vienna you're so prettyyy
Kat OBryant
01:20:27
Thank you, Mark and Vienna!! 👊🏻
Gina
01:20:28
Love you Mark!!!
Joanna Filipov
01:20:28
https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/?hl=en
Jen
01:20:28
Thank you both!! 🙏
Corazon ♥️
01:20:29
thank you both ❤️❤️❤️
Mara
01:20:29
Thank you so much
Dale Woods
01:20:30
thank you so much
sara balbas
01:20:30
You two rock!! Thank you
Amy Roth
01:20:33
Thank you!!!!!
Caty
01:20:34
Thank you so much Mark and Vienna! Amazing thinking points :)
Theresa
01:20:37
taking that now!
Tamara
01:20:38
Mark waiting for your next seminar in Vancouver when it opens up
Leslie
01:20:38
You both are magic!!
Paulette
01:20:39
Thankyou !!! This was so helpful !!
Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3
01:20:39
yesssss! yay for Dating 101! <3
MaryBeth Fitzgerald
01:20:40
Dating 101 YESSSSSS
Karla R
01:20:40
Thank you both!! Great session!! Mark you where my favorite!!
Amy Reyes
01:20:41
thank you!
Kate Donahue
01:20:42
still trying to get thru week 3 of dating 101 lol
doug
01:20:42
Ya boy 101
Joanna Filipov
01:20:43
https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/?hl=en
Tana
01:20:43
Thank you both!
Brie Stoner
01:20:43
Taking it now!
Nikki
01:20:44
thank you both for this great opportunity to be here 🙂
rachel (they/them)
01:20:45
thanks you two!
Brittany M
01:20:46
This was exactly what I needed to hear today, thank you both so much for this!!
Tiffany
01:20:46
Thank you!
Christina
01:20:46
Loved this!! Thanks!!
089346
01:20:47
DATING 101 is changing my "game"
Laura Taylor
01:20:47
Good night
Alisha Drimmie
01:20:47
thank you!!! ❤️🧡❤️🧡
aliciamcshane
01:20:47
Thanks so much!
Nicole
01:20:47
<3
Micheale Keenan -MDH-
01:20:47
thanks
Stace
01:20:47
Thanks!!!!!
Brooke Edgecombe
01:20:48
I am doing the wholeness course and it’s very enlightening.
apriljones
01:20:48
thank you!
Stephanie
01:20:48
Thank you
Diane Langille
01:20:48
you two are doing great
jacquelynhope
01:20:49
Thank you!!!
Chelsea
01:20:49
You guys are the best! 💛
Queennie
01:20:49
Thanks!
SB
01:20:49
best to you
Paulette
01:20:49
Love to you !!
Gina
01:20:49
DATING IS DOPE