Recognizing Red Flags: A Free Live Webinar ft. Vienna Pharaon | 6.10.21 - Zoom

Recognizing Red Flags: A Free Live Webinar ft. Vienna Pharaon | 6.10.21 - Shared screen with speaker view

Playback Range -

Fleur

21:18

Hi!!

AmyS

21:28

Hi

sara balbas

21:29

Hi

Peter Middleton

21:31

hi!

averywilliams

21:31

hi hello!

Dan Johansen

21:32

Hello from Providence!

Leslie

21:32

So excited!!

Courtney Crispin

21:32

Hi everyone!

caitlyn

21:32

Hey!!

Taylor

21:33

hello :)

Rob

21:33

Hey fam!

Jenna

21:35

Hey!

Steffi DiDomenicantonio

21:35

Hiiiii!! Thank you for doing this!!

Danielle

21:36

Hello!!

Avalon Rehn

21:36

Hi from Los Angeles!

Claire Morley

21:36

Hey!!!

Angela Sanchez

21:36

Hola!

TCOYD - Sarah Severance - CME

21:37

Hi from San Diego

Yalidy (Ja-lee-dee) Matos

21:38

Hi everyone!

Valencia Carol Claire

21:38

Hi everyone!

Jordan Leigh

21:38

Been waiting for this all week!

Amy

21:38

hi from Ottawa

Kelly Eyer

21:38

Hello!

Nhu Richie (she/her)

21:39

Chao!

Claudia Sanchez

21:39

Hi everyone!!

Steph

21:39

It's so good to see you both! Missed you Vienna!

Kareen Kotwa

21:40

Hi👋

Gary Gottselig

21:40

Hey Everyone!! :)

Viviane

21:40

Hi from Salt Lake City!

Hanna

21:40

Happy Thursday!

Roocy

21:41

Hello

Julie

21:41

hi

Marlene

21:41

Hello!!

089346

21:42

Hey from ontario

Jennifer Peruzzaro

21:42

Hi!!

Chelsea

21:42

Hi everyone 😊

Nicole

21:42

hi!

Heidi

21:42

Hi from Scotland

Adrienne Lee

21:43

Hello from Santa Cruz, CA!

Alexandra Milano

21:43

Hi from NYC!

Megan

21:43

Hi from NJ!

Azahara Martinez

21:43

Looking good guys! Hi from Mount pleasant, Vancouver!

Dale Woods

21:44

hi from the uk

Julia Chigrina

21:44

Hi from Washington DC!

Wenonah

21:44

Hi from Toronto!

Oliver Fecko

21:44

Hello

tali

21:44

Hi from Santa Cruz!!!!

Barbara Watkins

21:44

Hi. I’m so excited!

elinarudkovsky

21:45

Hi from NY - this is so exciting!

Atoosa

21:45

Hello from Atlanta!

Kate Donahue

21:45

hello!!

Jo

21:46

Hi everyone!

Dawn

21:46

👋

Cady Macon (she/her)

21:46

Hi from St. Louis!

Carrie C

21:46

Hello from Fort Worth, TX

ANA

21:46

Hey from Toronto

Nikki

21:46

OMG!! Hiiii!!! 😁

Tanishka Chawla

21:46

Hello from India!

Alex Taschuk

21:46

Hello from Calgary ALberta Canada!!!!

Gary Gottselig

21:46

Hi From Vancouver BC :)

Kendra

21:46

Hiiiii! Excited to see you both team up for this. I follow you both on IG!

Heidi D

21:47

Hi from Stillwater, MN

Erin H

21:47

Hello!

Christina

21:47

Hi!

Stephanie Towning

21:47

hello from Oklahoma

greg iglesia

21:48

Hey yall

Kealin

21:48

hiiiiii

Sonya

21:48

Hello from San Diego, Cali

Dominique Krauch

21:49

hi from Portugal

FARNOOSH

21:49

Hi from Vancouver, Canada 💕

Alex Taschuk

21:50

SO EXCITED FOR THIS

caitlyn

21:50

This is my first time using zoom 😂

Lynn Calderoni

21:50

hello from CT

Mark (Toronto ON Canada)

21:50

Greetings from Toronto ON Canada

Kat

21:51

Hi from Tokyo! ✨

ANA

21:51

Cant wait for this talk

Hsiufan Yu

21:51

Hi

Jessica Kristy

21:51

Hi, everyone! Excited for this!

Tara

21:52

Hi from Camano Island, WA

Claudia Alviso ✨

21:52

Hi from México

Revinka Dias

21:53

Hi, so glad to be on here

Thalia Brito

21:53

HI from NYC!

Whitney Bishop

21:53

Hello!!

Oliver Fecko

21:53

Hello from Prague!

Val R

21:54

My fav people! My daughters name is Vienna <3

Spencer Brinson

21:54

Hello from Bend, OR

Dina

21:54

Hello

Chelsea

21:54

coming in from Alberta, Canada 🇨🇦

Jennifer

21:54

Hello from Victoria BC

Judith Z

21:54

Hi from Amsterdam

doug

21:55

What up from Portland!

Nikki

21:55

from Miami, FL 😊

Tiffany

21:55

Hi all! Thank you for this event!

Adrienne Lee

21:55

Hello from Santa Cruz, CA! :)

Sue Chapple

21:55

Hi from Australia!

Jennifer Turner

21:56

Hi From Hawaii!!

Sarah K

21:56

Hi from San Diego!

Vanessa Medina

21:56

Hi from Costa Rica!

Stephanie

21:56

Hello from Seattle

Celeste Esparza

21:56

Heyyyyyy from Covina, CA

Rebecca Tucker

21:57

Hi from Colorado :)

P

21:57

Hello

Ajo

21:57

Hi from Indiana!!

Claire Morley

21:58

Hey from Costa Rica :)

Julianne Reynolds (she/her)

21:58

Hi from Philly!

Stephanie Gonzales

21:58

Hi! super excited for this!

Veronica Morera

21:58

Hello from Ontario, Canada!

Brigitte Bourque

21:59

Bonjours from Atlantic Canada 🍁

Michelle

21:59

Hi from Australia!

Bárbara

22:00

Hi from Brazil

Bonnie

22:00

Hi!!!

Adriana

22:00

hi from LA, big fan here!!!

Sophie C

22:00

Hi from London!

Corazon ♥️

22:01

hello from the Philippines!!

Kristina

22:03

Hi Vienna and Mark! Love your content

Tammara

22:03

Hello!! Tammara from Cali!!!

Jessica

22:03

Hello from New York

Katie

22:04

Hi from California

Lena

22:04

Hi from Berlin

Jean Caprio

22:04

Hi guys from South Fla!

Yalidy (Ja-lee-dee) Matos

22:05

Hello from Philly!

Whitney Bishop

22:05

Whats up from Charlotte, NC

Haley Leiter

22:06

Hi from Raleigh, NC!

Leslie

22:06

You’re the best!!

Jenna

22:06

Late night from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

shar

22:06

HIII. happy to be here....Vernon Canada :)

Tara-lee

22:06

Hi!! From Alberta Canada 🇨🇦

Amanda Dutton

22:06

Hi from NY!

Emma Lewis

22:07

Kelowna BC! Hello :)

Katrina Baxter-Moore

22:08

Hey from Vancouver Canada :)

Sina Dirks

22:08

Hi from Germany :)

Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)

22:08

Stef from Knoxville TN

Jill DiCandia

22:09

Love you guys 💙

Sarah Sather

22:09

Hi from Regina, SK Canada!

tina

22:09

Hi, hope you’re well. Tina from Essex, England

Mistie

22:09

Hi from texas :)

Jen Day

22:10

Portland, OR

Catherine Galfano

22:10

Hi from Seattle

Jenna Stajduhar

22:10

Holla from Northern Colorado!

Natalie Fardell

22:10

Hi from Sydney Australia

Peter Winkler

22:10

Hello from Torquay Australia 🤙🏼

Monika Aniszewska

22:11

Hi from Poland! Already midnight here :D

Beth Hansen

22:11

Hi from Wisconsin!!

tali

22:11

Lol !!!

Your Teacher Agneta Lindberg

22:11

Hi from Agneta, the Swede🇸🇪 in London UK 🇬🇧

Ellen Price

22:11

Hello! Ellen from Columbia Mo

Clare Anderson

22:11

Hi there! So excited for this!!

sara-rosegarcia

22:11

Hello from Minnesota

Ni

22:11

Hiiiiiiiii. I miss you such much. Happy to see you guys

Bri Manche

22:12

Hi from Maryland!

Clay Dube

22:12

Hello! Vancouver BC!

Casey

22:12

Hello from Calgary Alberta

Chelsea Woodman

22:12

Hey from Calgary!

Dale Woods

22:13

Hi from the UK

Kim Rondina

22:13

Hi from Phoenix!

Katie

22:13

Love mark!

Wenonah

22:13

Hi from Toronto!

Marlene

22:13

Hi from San Antonio!

Ms. Justine

22:13

Greetings from Oklahoma :)

Erin Robichaud

22:13

Hello from Edmonton Alberta Canada!

kirstykwhyte@btinternet.com

22:13

Hi everyone, from the UK

Courtney Deakle

22:14

Hi from North Carolina!

Lexy

22:14

Hi from San Diego!

Alicia

22:15

So excited for this! hoping there's a replay to take notes.

AC

22:15

Hi from Washington DC!

Eric C

22:15

Hi from Rhode Island

Karina Mancebo

22:15

Will this be recorded and sent out as a replay?

Chelsea Pimentel

22:15

Hi from Fenton, MI

McKenzie Utter

22:16

Hi from Costa Rica!

Heather Rhoden

22:16

Hi! From New Jersey !

Kimberly Mills

22:16

Hi from Austin, TX

Karen Barraza

22:16

Hellooooo

Samara M.

22:16

Hi from South Florida!!

Adriana (Portugal)

22:16

Hi from PORTUGAL 🇵🇹

Jessalynn

22:16

Hello from Austin, TX

tali

22:16

Lol

Azahara Martinez

22:17

HELP GUYS HAHAHA

Natalie Blazevich

22:17

Hi from Pittsburgh :)

Amanda

22:17

Hi from toronto

Keri

22:17

hello from ontario!

Joanna Filipov

22:17

Hi Everybody!

Rosemarie Rosén

22:18

Hi from Sweden!

Tamara

22:18

Hello from Vancouver BC

Amy Strutzel

22:18

Hello from Amy in Chicago

Atoosa

22:18

Hello from Atlanta!

Theresa

22:18

Hey from Denver, CO!

L M

22:18

Hi from Dublin Ireland :)

Tina Durbin, Reel Change, LLC (she/her/hers)

22:18

Hi from Kentucky.

Lisa

22:18

Hey! from Sunny San Diego :)

melanie

22:18

Hi from Dublin Ireland 🤙

moniquesam

22:18

Hi from Florida!!!(:

hilary

22:18

Hi from Calgary

bwamboi

22:19

Hi from Portugal!

Jordyn Bowen

22:19

Hi from Perth Australia, its early!

rachel (they/them)

22:19

hi from alabama ☻

Tara Radke

22:19

Hello from Tucson, AZ!

Jennifer

22:19

Hiii From MB Canada!

katherinebenkerboral

22:20

Hi from Seminole land, Orlando Florida

Kobie

22:20

Hey hey from Sydney!

Cara Petrini

22:21

Hi from Boston!

Dale Woods

22:21

thank you for doing this <3

Cynthia Baird

22:21

Hello from Nova Scotia

meg123

22:22

hello 🙂

Kristina Calderon

22:23

Hello from St Pete FL!!

Elena Tchalakov

22:23

Hi from WA!!!

Tara-lee

22:23

So grateful for this!! 🙏🏻❤️

Christa Mariash

22:23

Hi from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada!

Tiffany Gerlinger

22:23

Hi from New Orleans!! :)

Desirée

22:24

Hello from Calgary, Alberta!

Jazmin

22:25

Jazmin from EL Paso, TX

Hanna

22:25

Hi from Oregon!

violeta herrera

22:25

Hi from Byron Bay, Australia

Genevieve Kang

22:25

Hey from Vancouver!

Leia

22:25

Hello from Chapel Hill!

taravonschmidt

22:25

Tara from CT!

averywilliams

22:26

hi from charlotte, nc

Bryana Intelisano

22:26

Hi Bryana from NYC!

Jill DiCandia

22:26

Hi from Belmar NJ

Jules

22:26

Hello from Chicago! 💛

Alexandra Graves

22:26

Hi from Calgary, AB

Megan Pounder

22:27

Hi from Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario! :)

Lindsey Dollar

22:27

Hello from Metro Detroit!

Emily Purdon

22:27

Greetings from Ontario Canada! :D

Sarah Stevenson

22:28

Hello from Blue Lake, CA :)

Bella A

22:28

Hi from Kuwait :)

Pauline Mousseau (she/her)

22:28

Joining spontaneously from Red Deer, AB

katherinewest

22:28

Hi from Atlanta

Marie-Christine

22:28

Hello from Montreal !! 🤩

christyradecic

22:28

San Diego in the house!!!

Trish

22:28

Hi from VA

Valencia Carol Claire

22:28

Hi from North Atlanta.

Joanna Filipov

22:29

Remember to write to Panelists and Attendees!

Dena

22:29

Hi from Seattle, WA!

Kim

22:29

Hi from Buffalo!!

Siv

22:30

Hi from Chicago ! :)

Anna

22:30

Hello everyone!!!

Petra

22:30

Actually, this is my first time on Zoom. But Hi anyway! From the Netherlands here.

Sonal Jogia

22:30

Heyyy from Spain!!

C. Slaughter

22:31

Hello from Philadelphia

Taylor

22:31

Hello

Jenny Cruickshank

22:31

Hello!!!! from Bend Oregon

Kris

22:31

Hiiiii from Massachusetts!!! I’m so excited for this 🥰

Jen Day

22:31

Portland, OR, USA

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

22:31

Hello from Palm Beach!!

Georgiana Mukasa

22:32

Hi from New York.

Tricia Kenyon

22:32

Hi from Solana Beach, CA!!

Julie

22:32

hi from Vancouver, cad

Kim

22:32

Hello 👋

Melanie Schweizer

22:33

Hi from Seville, Spain!

Bethany Fisackerly

22:33

hi from Gainesville!

James Grigas

22:33

Hi from Newport Beach 🙂

yvonne wagner

22:33

Hello from Dallas!!

Jennifer Walker

22:33

Manchester, UK

ynewton

22:33

Hi from the Bay Area

jody

22:33

Hi ! From PA ! 😘

Kathryn

22:33

Hi from Nevadaaaaaa

Sarah Troy

22:33

Hello from Toronto! :)

Goldie

22:34

Hi from California

Julianne

22:34

Hi from Ottawa, Canada!

Jean Caprio

22:34

So good to see both of you!!

Jen

22:34

Hi from Banff

Leah

22:34

Hi from Maple Ridge, BC 👋🏻

Tara Radke

22:35

Hello from Tucson, AZ!

Leslie

22:35

So fun!!

Alicia

22:35

Hi from Ireland!

Jayne Hong

22:35

Orange County, CA

Ang

22:35

Hiiiiii from Calgary!!

Guergana

22:35

Hi from Austria

Tammy

22:36

So pumped! Hello from Saskatoon! 🐞🌿🎶

jen

22:36

Hey! Tuning in from VA :) so excited 😆

Deb Stewart

22:36

Washington DC says hello!

Natalie Blazevich

22:36

Hi from Pittsburgh :)

Jimena gioino

22:37

fron Argentina

MICHOU

22:37

Vancouver BC

Tina Durbin, Reel Change, LLC (she/her/hers)

22:37

Hi from Kentucky.

Jasmine

22:38

hello! Jasmine from Vancouver

Alexandra Milano

22:38

Hi from NYC!

Maliha Gangat

22:38

Hellooo from Toronto!!!

Jenna

22:38

Hey from scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Kailey Larson

22:39

Hi from Squamish, BC!

Nicole

22:39

hu! from chicago!

Dina

22:39

Hello from Egypt

Dayana Argoti

22:40

Hi from Boston, living in the Bay Area

Elizabeth Shelley

22:40

Hi from Asbury Park NJ!

Whitney Bishop

22:40

Howdy Ho from Charlotte, NC!

Lake Tullis

22:40

Kansas city

Jackie Pecquex

22:40

Hey from Denver

Melissa Spence

22:41

Las Vegas!!!!

Amanda

22:41

Hello from San Diego!!!! :) :)

Jenni Meskus

22:41

Hi all from Squamish BC Canada

Rachel Kiehnau

22:41

Hello from Michigan!!!

Meg

22:41

Vancouver!

Samantha

22:42

🤗

Catherine Davis

22:42

Ontario Canada 🇨🇦

Melissa Malone

22:42

Sydney, Australia

Casey (Casshawndra) Barber

22:42

Hi from Canada!

Vanessa Incani

22:42

Hello from Edmonton-Canada

Melissa Rodríguez

22:42

Mexico

Laura

22:42

Hi from Belgium!

Thalia Brito

22:42

HI from NYC!

Jessica

22:42

Hi from sunny Orlando :)

Annie Lukey

22:42

Hi from Houston!!

Erin Clark

22:43

Hello from Montana

Celena

22:43

HI FROM West Covina!

Mara

22:43

Hi from Germany :-) excited!

megan aoki

22:43

UTAH

Nhu Richie (she/her)

22:43

Vietnam!

Lynn Calderoni

22:43

Much love from CT

mary

22:43

Charleston SC! Hi!!

caitlyn

22:44

From australiaaaaa

Gaelle

22:44

Hi from Scotland!

Katie Branscum

22:45

Hi from Cleveland, OH!!!

elmiraziaei

22:45

LA

Gina

22:45

Can barely hear Mark...

Ida

22:45

Hello from Germany :)!

Karen

22:45

Hi from Uk

Michelle

22:45

Nashville

rebecca

22:45

hi from Melbourne Australia

Oliver Fecko

22:45

Prague!

AMBER

22:45

hi from Ontario canada

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

22:46

San Diego Calif

Michaeline (she/her)

22:46

Hi from Chicago!

Linda

22:46

Hi! Truckee, CA

Rach

22:47

Aloha from Hawaii

Kelly Bietola

22:47

Hello from Banff!

Courtney Crispin

22:47

San Francisco!

Revinka Dias

22:47

from Qatar

Judith Z

22:47

Amsterdam <3

Constantine Johns

22:47

Portland, OR

Madi Barney

22:48

Austin TX!

Sheila Arias

22:48

HI From Jersey city!!

Mc

22:48

hi from sydney Australia

Ashley Stewart

22:48

Hi!!!! From Tucson, Arizona!

Natalie Fraser

22:48

Hi from Sydney

Erin OLeary

22:48

Berlin!

Stephanie W

22:48

Hi from Vancouver BC!

Kim Kerr

22:49

Hi from Park City, Utah

tamara spinatsch

22:49

Torontooooooooooo

Amy Wolgemuth

22:49

Edmonton, AB

Lana Swanson

22:49

Hi from Nelson, BC!

Maleknaz Nayebi

22:49

Hi from TO!

elizabethanncarter

22:49

Hi from Fort Collins, CO

Katie Delgado

22:49

Minnesota!

Emilly Dubeau

22:49

Hi from Ontario!

Annie Lukey

22:49

H Town Texas!!!

Hsiufan Yu

22:50

Hi from Melbourne

Sylvia Reilly

22:50

Hola from Quito, Ecuador!

Cindy

22:50

San Diego

Veronica Morera

22:50

Ontario Canada ✨✨✨

Sherry Wooten

22:50

Hi guys! Mark you’re the best!

Jazmin

22:50

Jazmin from EL Paso, TX

Jax

22:50

There are red flags globally! :P

Paty

22:51

hi from Los Angeles !

Fiona Luke

22:51

Hi Fi from Australia

Jenna Strusowski

22:51

Hey from Philadelphia

Sasha

22:51

hi from Vancouver, BC.

Kat OBryant

22:51

Hi from DC!

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

22:52

PalmBeach

Susan

22:52

Hi from Los Angeles!

khushboo

22:52

Hello i am Khushboo from INDIA

Jessica Kristy

22:52

What’s up y’all! Love from Toronto

Alicia

22:52

I love your stuff and page, from Ontario Canada 🇨🇦

katherinebenkerboral

22:52

Hi from seminole land…Orlando fl

Alex Taschuk

22:52

Calgary!!!

Lara

22:53

Miami

Kera Hosein

22:53

Hi from Trinidad & Tobago

Jamie Love (she/her)

22:53

Ithaca NY

Shari K :)

22:53

Hi from Philly

Christina Calabrese

22:53

Hi from New York!

Bojana

22:53

Dubai 💋

Gina

22:54

hi from vancouver bc :)

Stephanie F

22:54

Murfreesboro, Arkansas

Raychel Hessler

22:54

Hi from New York

mikaldobbins

22:54

Hi from South Carolina!

Nhu Richie (she/her)

22:54

Hanoi, Vietnam!

Amel Catherine

22:54

Hi from Liverpool

Sophie C

22:55

London!!!!

KK

22:55

Hello from Texas!

Gillian Roberts

22:55

Hello from Los Angeles!

Zoë Clark

22:55

UK

Sandra Rodríguez

22:55

from colombia

Nikki

22:55

Hello from Miami, FL I've watched all your videos!! 😁

Donna

22:55

Metro Detroit, MI

Julia M Lasker

22:55

Austin, TX

Ganiyat

22:55

Hi from New Jersey USA

Suzy

22:55

Hi Mark! Vienna! Hello from West Sussex! So needing this session! ❤️

robb

22:56

hey from sawtell australia

Amy

22:56

Hey from Banff

Jana

22:56

Prince Edward Island, Canada

powelln

22:56

Calgary, AB

Darren Mackay

22:56

Vancouver!

Nhu Richie (she/her)

22:56

: )

Taylor Moreno

22:56

VISTA, CA

María

22:57

Heeey from Mexico !!!

Erica Tat

22:57

Houston, TX 🤗

Rachel B

22:57

Hi from Bay Area, CA!

Elisabeth Thomas

22:57

Hello from Germany~

Marc

22:58

Hi from Los Angeles!

Roberto Madrigal

22:58

Hi from Mexico city

Tracy

22:58

Hi from Singapore!

hana chan (she/her)

22:58

Hello from San Luis Obispo California :)

stefanie.berger

22:58

Hi from NYC

TINA

22:58

Hello from Stillwater Minnesota

Tanishka Chawla

22:58

India!!

Luis Chou

22:59

Hi from Honduras!

Sharisse Kimbro

22:59

Hi from Evanston IL

sara-rosegarcia

22:59

Minnesota

Sarah Tamimi

22:59

Hello, Indonesia

Sara Ford

22:59

Hi from Seattle!

Amanda

23:00

Hey from Vancouver Canada!

stacy

23:00

Hi From Houston!

sanj

23:00

Hi from Vancouver 🇨🇦

Shana

23:00

Hello from Toronto, Canada!

Victoria

23:00

Melbourne too

Ren

23:00

Langley, BC, Canada

Beth Hansen

23:00

Hi from Wisconsin!!

Lisa Börsch

23:00

Hi from Germany, late at night!

tina

23:01

San Diego, CA

katherine

23:01

Vancouver BC!

P

23:01

Hello 👋 👋

Jasamin Choo

23:01

Netherlands

Colleen Reid

23:01

NYC is the house

Kit Kat

23:01

Sydney australia

Linda Weiss

23:01

Hi from Adelaide, Australia 🤗

Janet

23:01

Johannesburg

Ana

23:01

Hi from the United Arab Emirates!

maria

23:02

Mexico

Beth

23:02

hi from Buffalo NY

Veronika Wislocka

23:02

Hi from Wales!

lindsay

23:02

Hi from Belgium :)

AnnMarie

23:03

Daphne AL here

Mandy

23:03

Enhland

Jen Day

23:03

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN REGISTER FOR THIS THING?

Whitney Moon

23:03

Bay Area CA

Azahara Martinez

23:03

BARCELONAAAAAAA

Safiyah

23:03

Hi from Ontario Canada!!

Lizette Montesinos

23:03

HI from NYC

Maliha Gangat

23:04

Natalie !! Are you here?? Lol

Nancy Jonap

23:04

New Jersey!

Taimi

23:04

Edinburgh Scotland !!

Nisa

23:04

Hi from Chicago!

Stacey Hynes

23:04

Hi from Melbourne!!

Christine

23:04

arizona

Karen Barraza

23:04

Washington, DC

Noor

23:04

Hi from Bahrain!

mariangelly

23:04

Miami FL!!

Kasia

23:05

Hi from Miami!

tamara spinatsch

23:05

Toorontooooooooo

S White

23:05

Hi from Brooklyn, NY

Gina

23:05

thank u for making this webinar

Sho Eli

23:05

Hi! San Diego!!

Inge

23:05

Gran canaria

Suzie Mills

23:06

Northern Ireland

Jordan

23:06

Hi from Mammoth Lakes, CA!

Chad Beliveau

23:06

From Boston. Love what you do!

Bonnie

23:07

Florida here 😁

Meghan M

23:07

Boston!

Malaika Murry

23:07

Hi! from Houston,tx

kenzie

23:08

New Zealand xx

Heidi C

23:08

Hello from Maple Ridge!! lol

Kareen Kotwa

23:08

Hi from Barrie, Ontario, Canada🇨🇦

lea khoury

23:09

hii from beirutt

Misty

23:09

San Jose, CA

BT

23:10

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST ❤️ From Beautiful British Columbia!

Alexis

23:10

Dallas

Adriana V.

23:11

Sydney 🇦🇺

Jennifer Baughman

23:11

Jen from Asheville NC

alecia

23:11

lets do this!! :) Alecia from Nebraska !

Karina Parent

23:12

hi Kelowna BC Canada

Meghan M

23:12

Boston!

Elisabeth

23:12

Hi from Connecticut

Veronica Gomes

23:13

Hi I am from Philly

Karla Gregory

23:13

hello, from Montana

Mandy

23:13

Hi from the uk

Dina Marie

23:13

Hi From. Roseville, CA

heather lewis

23:13

Vienna can you get the mic closer its hard to hear you?

Rachel Fecteau

23:13

Hello. here from Quebec city

Zoë Clark

23:13

England!

Annie

23:13

Phoenix, Arizona!

Jasamin Choo

23:14

Netherlands 👋👋👋👋👋

Forrest

23:14

CALIFORNIA

Tamara

23:15

Hello from DC!

Karen

23:15

Hi :)

Susan

23:16

Hi from Cranbrook, BC

Gigi

23:16

Hi from Vancouver!

Lina L.

23:16

BOOGEY DOWN BRONX!

Taimi

23:17

meow

Jena Saleri

23:17

Jena from Santa Cruz California!

Jules

23:17

So excited & grateful to be here with you!

Tracy

23:18

Hi from Singapore! Much loveee

Nikki Taylor

23:18

Hervey Bay QLD Australia

Nada

23:19

Hi from Ottawa

Amy

23:19

Hi from Australia 🇦🇺

CHRISTINE PRONISHEN

23:19

Christine from St Albert, Alberta

Melissa Sanchez

23:21

hi from San Diego!

Anna

23:21

Hi from Finland 🙂

Sandra Rodríguez

23:23

Congratulations Vienna !!!

Jean Caprio

23:23

Congrats!!!!!

Rachel

23:24

Hiiii from North Saanich...other side of the pond!!

Lini

23:24

Hi from Toronto! <3

Sonia Dhuga

23:25

hello from canada

Lara R

23:26

Hi from London UK

CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI

23:26

Caroline from NY!

Brittany Rizzo

23:26

Chicago

Sophie

23:27

Hey from Ireland

Marie-Christine

23:27

MONTREAL represent !! Looking forward to the summer and dating 😎🙂

Lidia López .

23:28

Hello from Southern California

laura kelsch

23:29

Hi from White Rock BC

Leslie

23:29

Absolutely

DJ Swanahh

23:30

Saying hi from Dubai, UAE (:

Susan

23:31

So red flags are global apparently 🤣

Alicia

23:32

You're a little quiet, can't hear her well, at least on my device or end

Kristina

23:33

Vienna you look amazing & glowing

Heather Rhoden

23:33

Congratulations!

Doneen Jones

23:33

Hello from NJ

Jen

23:35

Hello from Toronto!

Christy Berrington

23:35

hello from Calgary, AB

violeta herrera

23:39

Hi from Byron Bay, Australia ! :)

Jana

23:41

Prince Edward Island, Canada 🇨🇦

Dila Yolga

23:43

Mark is glowinggg

Nisha Jamal

23:47

2 of my favorites!! great to see you both

Sarah Wiles

23:48

Hi from Ontario, Canada

gillian

23:49

Hi from Ireland.🇨🇮 late night learning 😂

Lynn

23:49

Hi from BC Canada!

Leslie

23:50

Love you two together!!

Lizzy

23:51

san diego in the house

melanie

23:56

Red flags awareness night 🙌🙌

Sandra Rodríguez

23:56

i love you Mark , thank yoy for everything

Leslie

24:00

Best ever!!

Lidia López .

24:01

Hello from Southern California

Chelsea

24:02

Hello! From Utah

Tammy

24:04

@Susan global red flags 😄😆😄👍

tina

24:09

Reminisce

Nadia Larsen

24:14

Vancouver now in Georgia USA!

Natalie Fardell

24:18

Coffee and dating chats to start the day :)

Gina

24:19

Yaaaas

brendabasile

24:19

Hello from Scituate MA! Brenda here…

Talia Weintraub

24:19

Love both of your instagrams!! love from new haven ct :)

Nisha Jamal

24:20

Hello everyone! out here in Seattle

tina a

24:21

Hello!! From Philly, PA

Huda

24:24

Hi from Singapore ☺️🇸🇬 6am now

Izz

24:27

Hello from Cali

Janice Newpton

24:27

Hi from Madeira 🇵🇹

Vanessa Medina

24:30

Hello from Costa Rica!

Sarah Stevenson

24:34

I love the meme of Bob Ross where it says “busy turning red flags into pretty little trees” lol - so accurate

AOTI -

24:36

Hello from Ireland

Johanna

24:41

Ace ! Hello from England, UK .

Cady Macon (she/her)

24:45

Hi from St. Louis!

Kimberly Martin

24:47

Hi from Venice, CA!

Jennifer

24:49

Hello from New Hampshire

Christy Imbriale

24:54

Hello from Atlanta!

Chris Burns

24:54

Hi from Mexico City!!

Rea Shahroudi

24:57

hello from london

Alicia

25:00

can barely her you Vienna

Julie Longchamp

25:01

Hi from Midland, ON

Colin Sipos

25:03

Turn up Vienna’s mic please

Joanna Filipov

25:11

YES

Constantine Johns

25:12

yesss

Maliha Gangat

25:12

Yeahhssss

Katja Brunner

25:13

YES!!!

rachel (they/them)

25:13

yes

Jean Caprio

25:14

Much better

Kimberly Mills

25:15

Austin, TX

Belinda Govatos

25:15

Hi from Utah, USA

Nhu Richie (she/her)

25:16

NO MARK - we just want to talk to you! ; )

Janet

25:16

Johannesburg

Briane Agostinelli

25:17

Hello from Pittsburgh PA

Claudia

25:17

Much better

Angela Sanchez

25:18

🤩

Kimberly Martin

25:18

Check check

Atoosa

25:18

much better

laura kelsch

25:19

Yes

DJ Swanahh

25:19

Dubai, UAE 🇦🇪

Alicia

25:20

yes!

Zoë Clark

25:20

Hi from england

Jennifer

25:21

Yes

Christy Imbriale

25:21

Hi from Atlanta

Dila Yolga

25:22

I hope you answer- What to do with red flags!!!

Marie-Christine

25:22

COVID is making connections harder I feel 🤦‍♀️ people are not available emotionally I feel…

Akua Reid

25:22

Hola!

Jessica

25:23

Eeeeeeeee

brendabasile

25:24

Got it! Brenda is here from Scituate MA

Tamara

25:25

Hi from DC!

Jules

25:26

Yes

Sarah Delicate

25:27

Ontario Canada

ginger

25:27

Hey hey!

Sandra Rodríguez

25:28

heeeellooo everyone

Tara-lee

25:28

Hi from Alberta Canada 🇨🇦

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

25:29

so ready!

Jennifer

25:33

Yes

Lauren Howry

25:34

Hi from California!

gillian

25:34

Hi from late night Ireland 🇨🇮

Ivette L. Galaviz

25:34

Hola from SF!

Brooke Edgecombe

25:34

Hello from D.C.

Leia

25:35

Hi from Chapel Hill, NC

Katie Cavagnaro

25:40

Hi from HTX!

Anna

25:41

Hey from the UK!

Suzana

25:41

hello from Israel!

Angela Harrolle - CEO 100 Club Of Arizona

25:43

Hola from Arizona!

Diane Langille

25:46

hi, from BC, Canada

Holly

25:54

Hi from Portland, Oregon

Meghan M

25:54

How’d you get a page outta my journal, though

Serena

25:56

Hello from London 🇬🇧

Saff

25:57

Hi from Aus

SL

25:57

HI Sonia Leigh Nashville TN

Sarah Stevenson

25:58

lol

Stace

25:58

This one happens A LOT when online dating. It brings out the anxious/avoidant dance

Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3

25:59

Hello everyone! I'm in Calgary, Alberta

Rob

26:02

Anxious…key word there

Sandra Rodríguez

26:05

Vienna you look soooo beautiful !

Sho Eli

26:06

This happens to me all the time!

Tugba Ercan

26:11

great

Tana

26:11

Hi from New Westminster, BC!

Jennifer

26:24

Nice new digs Mark.

Diane Langille

26:25

hi, from BC, Canada

Sakr, Sherif

26:25

Missssssss YOUUUU @Vienna!

Melissa Gough

26:32

Hi from Melbourne Australia

Nisa

26:34

Always want what we can’t have

Deborah Morabito

26:35

ThisThreeCome60#

Jennifer English: Toronto

26:50

push pull … classic

Emily

26:50

Can we please have access to this after it is over? At work 😭

Jordan Leigh

26:52

Why can't people jut say "im no longer interested...." fuck

Diana Tran

27:00

anxious attachment style!!!

Megan

27:04

I think someone being distant feels different when it comes AFTER they are intensely in contact, and even being the initiator of that contact, at the beginning...for the first few weeks or even first few months...

Julie

27:05

can't it be seen as a helpful filter? Why be with someone who doesn't reciprocate?

Huda

27:07

Vienna you’re quite soft

El

27:08

You are really giving information…wow

Diana Tran

27:09

anxious attachment style!

Sho Eli

27:09

@Jordan - Right?!

Nikki

27:14

Jordan exactly..lmao smh...

Corazon ♥️

27:19

hello from the Philippines!!

Dawn

27:20

I’m activated just by you talking about this 😱🤣

Anna

27:24

I cannot hear either of you.

Nikki

27:30

Jordan exactly..lmao

Val R

27:47

yaaaas #guiltyaf

Hayley

27:49

Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want

Tammara

27:51

Control, interesting....

Jean Caprio

27:55

I just started on a dating site, so this is very helpful!

Sarah Delicate

27:58

Also guilt AF

Lizzy

28:06

how do you learn to move on? I have a tendency to hold on. Right now I feel as though I still am interested in this person and want to try again so I don’t regret. Or is it best to let them go since things did end amicably

Priscilla Sugianto

28:09

Why is it so hard redo a toxic pattern/cycle within a relationship? It seems easier to just restart with a new person entirely? How should we know it is best to just let go the existing relationship that is no longer healthy or to continue to work on it?

Megan Kramer

28:17

lol sometimes I turn my phone off if I recognize I’m in this space. It’s helpful!

Hayley

28:24

Literally makes me feel crazy and I can’t help myself from bothering them. Like I just need them to tell me what they want

Ajo

28:27

How long do you wait to have the what are you after convo? I feel it should be straightforward. But some guys are like this takes time. I’m dating someone who doesn’t want marriage. I’m not in that space either. But I want exclusivity. He’s giving that. He shows up is consistent. He can not promise he will stay exclusive. What does that even mean?

Allie Siroky

28:28

Ohh like I can’t manage my own distress, so they have to manage it for me (by replying within my specified window of time)

Rio

28:32

What if the person used to txt within minutes now the response is the day after your txt?

Gary Gottselig

28:44

I like that. <3

Kelly

28:45

Hi from Brazil

Michelle Williamson

28:46

Hayley, I’m the same way

Gina

28:47

As difficult as it can be, let that shit gooo... cause ya givin yourself hell by worrying about it

L M

28:58

Love the phrase i'm curious

Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)

28:58

@gina YUP

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

29:04

what if they say they are busier with work?

Adriana

29:06

this is relative to being in a relationship right, not when you're first talking/meeting someone (Date 0 or from Online Dating)

Christina

29:06

I stopped asking and just move along...

Sara Johnson

29:09

yea and what if they just pretend to be forgetful repeatedly even though they know how you feel about it

Megan

29:14

How do you know when its anxiety vs having a standard?

AFD

29:18

Love that suggestion for texting.

Rio

29:24

Not busy at all for sure

Michelle Williamson

29:25

MaryBeth that “busy with work” stuff is usually an excuse

Rio

29:27

Lol

Alexandra Milano

29:30

@megan interesting question

Dawn

29:30

I find that whatsapping or texting is a big downfall for me . Need to actually talk more

Petra

29:31

New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

Annie Lukey

29:31

Is taking space always a negative?

Gina

29:31

I make myself more anxious worrying about that shit

averywilliams

29:33

so if they are feeling like they need to slow down, how do you not get hurt when you aren’t wanting to slow down

Chelsea

29:46

yesterday my therapist said exactly the same thing that you've said the past 2 mins 👌

Cathy McQuitty

29:47

How is this talk red flag material??

Nicole

29:47

Ex and I ended with a fully operative pursuer distancer dance going. He'd distance. I'd distance and attempt breakup (there were other fundamental issues, we were already considering breakup), and then he'd pursue and try to redirect away from breakup. I'd be open to it and then he'd put breakup back on the table and distance. This repeated 2-3 times before I finally called it.

Rio

29:54

But the expectation is I respond to him right away

Julie

29:54

What if that does not bother us - do we still have to address it? Usually it's both ways when the conversation dies down.

Annie Lukey

30:00

Exactly! I’m wondering/feeling the same thing @averywilliams

Nicole

30:02

How to understand what was going on with him?

Rio

30:04

Bcoz he says he knws I’m always on my phone

Nisha Jamal

30:06

you're not too busy to respond within 24 hours, if they are interested.. let them go

Gina

30:23

YUP

Rio

30:25

Thanks!

Teresa M

30:27

so true!!

Nikki

30:28

I learned that if they don't want to pursue you..as much as I wanted him and liked him I like myself more and had to leave him alone and stop trying..I believe there is someone out there that will love me as much as I know how to love..he just wasn't the one as much as I wanted him to be..

CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI

30:31

How DO you learn how to hold it?

Jules

30:33

“Learning how to hold this” let’s put that on a post it!

Barbara Watkins

30:38

I like that. “Would I send this if I loved myself?”

Natalie James

30:51

Love that Mark! “That’s the adulting”

Rio

30:57

That’s amazing

Teresa M

31:05

take your mind off of it, doing something else that focuses on yourself instead

Rio

31:06

I started doing the post it thing

Bella A

31:07

great, but dating an avoider will usually reply with an excuse (im was busy etc) .. its trying to always be the one starting conversation.. or texts.. and if we don’t text they don’t text ..its as though we are the ones always expected to text.

Diane Langille

31:12

I’m Brooke, by the way!😊

Rea Shahroudi

31:13

are we allowed to ask questions in this webinar or questions are pre-defined?

Gary Gottselig

31:13

YES

Sara Johnson

31:15

people lie tho

Trazee Boyd

31:15

I can hardly hear you and my volume is up all the way.

Petra

31:24

New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

Sarah Delicate

31:27

What if the text you sent was a very vulnerable invitation that is ignored?

Melissa Gough

31:28

Vienna can you please talk closer to the microphone.

Megan

31:31

@Bella yes with the excuses!

Kim

31:32

If you don't know yourself, then boom....we will be at the mercy of others wanting us. Ugh! Walking away from the wrong person means we are stuck with ourselves. Not sure I want to be in either situation.

Kiki

31:39

Audio is low

Melissa Malone

31:47

What do you do if the person doesn't acknowledge their behavior (disengaged, not making as much of an effort)?

Ni

32:04

Amen

Cathy

32:04

I have a question regarding the covid vaccine. Myself and every friend/family member I have is getting the vaccine. My new partner (we have been together 4 months and things are great!) refuses to get the covid vaccine. Now I have friends not wanting to spend time with me (and him) due to him not being vaccinated. Is this a red flag? It's a confusing issue! Thank you <3

Rea Shahroudi

32:05

question: how do these advices apply to dating a man who is Asperger !?

Gary Gottselig

32:07

Amen!! <3

Paulette

32:10

Agree !!

Michelle Williamson

32:19

I put that out there and I got “I’m just bad at communicating, I’ll work on it”. And then they don’t.

Maliha Gangat

32:29

Hola Natalie!! Its Maleeha ! Are you here???

Jennifer Peruzzaro

32:36

Better to have the hard conversations earlier on vs 1-5 years later! Oh how I ignored all the red flags!!!

Lexi

32:37

What about the opposite side, noticing them leaning in more after periods of space, should that be acknowledged in the same way or just let it be?

Nhu Richie (she/her)

32:44

Do you mind repeating that statement?

Fleur

32:46

It sounds so simple and it actually is, yet we struggle so much with proper communication

Sarah Stevenson

32:50

You crushed it

Gary Gottselig

32:50

haha totally crushed it!

Natalie Blazevich

32:52

Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending!

Forrest

33:02

Sooo good!!!!

Sarah Stevenson

33:10

oof

Nikki

33:12

Question: If you and your date had amazing chemistry and compatibility and the first date lasted 5 hrs of laughter and talking entire night followed by him wanting to come see him at work the next day bc we couldn't get enough..then he sends a long text a day after 2 amazing days of seeing one another that he really started started like me but not emotionally available and he ran..what happened?

C. Slaughter

33:18

finding that compatibility is so important and quite frankly a gift. I have this with my current guy. After 8 years of friendship, our communication is top notch

Deborah Morabito

33:21

So important to have clear communication. When I feel anxious, I use that as a guide that I am not in alignment and need to gain clarity

Paulette

33:21

Bring it !

jp

33:22

what did you say again for what to write/ask when you first notice them texting less?

Kristin Wise

33:23

is the lack of preparing for the future for someone who is 38 a red flag? i.e. no savings, no 401k, no credit. (background: relationship of 1 year, brought up my worries, no action was made).

Jennifer

33:28

These two know their stuff, gotta listen.

Anna

33:31

Good question!

Jasmin

33:33

Good question!

Tracey G

33:52

Can you mention those who have just narcissitic tendencies as well? Not everyone has a full blown disorder :)

Anna

34:14

I had a guy sending me valentine cards after 2 weeks "to the love of my life"....haha

Nisha Jamal

34:16

I needed the red flag "love bombing" 2 years ago with an ex.. I knew it was off, but still went for it not thinking it was that BIG of a flag, oof was I wrong

Sarah Stevenson

34:19

Why do they do it?

Cady Macon (she/her)

34:34

YES to Tracey’s question! The tendencies (but not the full disorder)

Jennifer

34:39

They get found out over time.

Stefanie Benjamin (she/her)

34:41

“you are my soulmate"

P

34:43

yes! experienced this and would not like to repeat it

Tanishka Chawla

34:51

With Tracey's question!

Jenny Cruickshank

34:56

rapid escalation and love you-- yes!!! then two months later.... sorry Charlie, I am emotionally unavailable--- my ex ruined me--- etc

Natalie Fardell

34:59

my last guy sand "Disney" songs and sent them to me weekly, then sand "bad things" to me..... it was intense quickly. then he pulled away.....

Viviane

35:03

What if there want to see you every day but don’t have the lavish portion in material gifts?

Kimberly Mills

35:08

Is dating someone for 3.5 years who doesnt really talk about marriage a red flag when you are both divorced an in your 40's? He was burned by his divorce 10 yrs ago. He says he's committed and wants a life with me but isn't sure about marriage again. But, marriage is important to me. How long to you wait without wasting time?

Anna

35:09

It becomes very intoxicating at the time...

Jessica

35:09

If you are dating with a guy who is always busy but he said he is making a “big effort” to see you. Could I considerar that a red flag??

Natalie Fardell

35:15

*sang...

Gina

35:17

It’s so strange to me that as I’ve grown and started working on healthier behavior patterns, love bombing isn’t even attractive to me anymore. It’s... too much, too soon. It makes me feel uncomfortable instead of flattered anymore.

Rachael

35:17

I fell for a narcissist, he cheated and i got pregnant, left me for the other women and hes been so horrible towards me. Wish I could walk away from it all

Taimi

35:17

I have definitely been falling for those love bombs for a good few years !!!! Gahh.

Sonia Dhuga

35:19

question: what do you do when youre seeing someone, things are going really good and progressing. his parent is ill and may pass away. he has identified he is not ready for too much commitment because what hes going through and asks for patience before he can get serious.. what do I do?

Deb Stewart

35:24

I had one take me to meet his family in weeks. He had another gf and they knew about it!

Robin

35:33

oh me too!

Tanishka Chawla

35:36

are narcissists aware of their tendencies??

Courtney Crispin

35:39

Can you talk about trauma bonds?

MikeO

35:45

Question: I've been sending txt messages as words of affirmations to loved friends for 7 days, I have also recently been sending to my ex. Everyone really appreciates them but my ex asked "What do I hope to gain from it?" I replied that I am coming from a place of open-heartedness and don't expect engagement and wish to give empowerment through my words. After sleeping on it, I am questioning myself if I unconsciously do want something from it... How can I become discerning on this?

cass

35:45

I was in a relationship just like that, love word within two weeks, huge presents and trips and surprises to take away from the problems we didn’t ever deal with and now being I’m a new relationship, I find it hard not to think that those big things mean love. Like I feel like I have to go all out to show this new person I care and love him

Michelle Williamson

35:48

Dude talked about moving to Florida before we even went out, talked about it on the first date, then never mentioned it again and basically became avoidant. Insisted the date was great, still wanted to “connect” with me, and confused the shit out of me.

P

36:03

is needing to see me everyday or gets moody and shots me out for saying not tonight, a red flag??

Deb

36:05

Dating in mid 40s, is it fair to see potential suitors that are separated or never married as red flags, rather than being divorced or widowed? I think there are some circumstances that make it okay, but how to decipher if it’s someone who has commitment phobia or doesn’t clean up old things before moving on?

Lina

36:07

Hi from Atlanta

Alex Taschuk

36:08

When you and Kylie separated, was there any thought of getting back together? What helped you separate and cope through that and did you still hold her and that potential of being with her in your heart? I've recently went through a break up and your story resonates with me so much, would love to hear more on it.

Siv

36:13

What is a ”twin flame”?

Rea Shahroudi

36:25

such a good point and indicator

Diane Langille

36:27

I’m in a relationship for a year

Stephanie Gonzales

36:31

so true!

Sina Dirks

36:33

I noticed that I tend to ghost people when the conversation gets difficult. How do I break this pattern and also fix this with people I did this to in the past :)

michelle

36:35

Not all resonates with My experience but I found if something big happened then my ex would say - I want to take you out, you deserve it etc

Jennifer

36:36

There’s so much manipulation going on, you’ve gotta pay attention

Rea Shahroudi

36:36

👌

Stacy Kerslake

36:37

Oooo..... yes that's absolutely so true! That took me years to realize

Diane

36:37

boyfriend could write for hallmark . He was that good and all the red flags melted away..HAHA

jaimereyes

36:39

I was dating someone for almost a year. During that time, I fell head over heels in love with her and I thought she felt the same way. About 6 months in, we has some issues come up.

Celeste Esparza

36:41

@alex listen to his podcast, they discuss it

Kimberly Martin

36:41

Vienna keep cutting out...

Holly

36:42

That’s self abandonment

Sasha

36:43

doesnt this happen with certain attachment styles?

Taimi

36:45

I’ve often felt like I don’t even get attracted to people until they show interest towards me first (and often it’s the love bombing kind…)

Leandra Rodriguez

36:47

I was seeing someone and things have since ended. He initiated being in a committed relationship and a month later changed his mind about the relationship. However, he still wanted to hang out with me and we spent a lot of time together. Finally, things fizzled and we saw each other less and less and it’s now been about a month since we’ve hung out or spoke. Lately he’s been trying to reach out and I ended up speaking to him again this week. Should I continue to engage with him?

Gyb

36:53

How do you heal from codependency

Dani

36:54

It seems like it can take a touch longer. took a few weeks and then he was calling all his friends saying he had this amazing new girlfriend. we had never even had a convo!

Fleur

36:58

Alex, they recorded two podcasts about it which cover it all

Jen

37:01

Not for me

Marc

37:02

Not for me

Jax

37:02

you’re good!

Courtney Crispin

37:02

Not for me

elmiraziaei

37:02

not for me either

Sarah Delicate

37:02

All good

ruth peterson

37:03

Not cutting out

Ruth

37:03

You’re ok

Dena

37:03

No issues for me.

Christina

37:03

all good

Anna

37:03

Clear for me

Theresa

37:04

not for me

sara-rosegarcia

37:04

Not for me

Eve

37:05

not here

Jenna

37:05

You should good 👍🏽

Akua Reid

37:05

Not cutting out for me

Taylor Moreno

37:05

youre good

Tori Zepp

37:05

You’re good!

Rob

37:05

Sounds good V

Sarah

37:06

You’re good

Sarah Sather

37:06

It's all good here

Sheri Salata

37:07

Looks good!

Steph

37:07

You sound great

Oliver Fecko

37:07

All good

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

37:07

I can hear you fine

Pamela Pesek

37:07

you good!

Sussie Mellstedt

37:09

I hear you! :)

Yohanah

37:09

Not for me

Megan

37:10

not here

katherinebenkerboral

37:10

Not for me..

Alex Taschuk

37:11

thank you guys

Natalie James

37:11

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Tara-lee

37:12

You’re good

SB

37:12

I have no visual or audio issues.

Kendra

37:13

I can hear you great

Annie

37:13

You’re good

Kim

37:14

I can hear ya no prob

ileana

37:14

It's good!

Nicole Zimmermann

37:15

Can we talk about ghosting… I got ghosted after a two month really intense relationship, 2 months later I am still not over it :(

KARINA RYAN

37:15

YOU'RE GOOD

Jan

37:18

Not for me in iteland

Chelsea Pimentel

37:19

Why does someone love bomb?

Cady Macon (she/her)

37:19

Will you speak to the subtle expressions of this? Narcissistic TRAITS, but not the full disorder

Fleur

37:23

two episodes*

Maryanne

37:25

not cutting out for me

Xima (See-ma) Grube

37:26

RE: Red Flags….Can we cover thoughts on if one person feels it’s moving too fast (because of invitations to go to weddings, meet parents, go on trips) but still wants to see where relationship goes? When is this a boundary versus a red flag?

T

37:29

Trauma bonds please. Husband of 15 yrs acting like a narcissist- can someone become one or is it more midlife crisis? I have stayed for kids but can no longer. How to heal trauma bond tips

El

37:36

Question: Can you outline more green flags? I want to escape this idea that I have to try to make something work.

Anna

37:37

Its desperation, on reflection....

Brandon Christopher

37:44

What if I feel like I am the Red Flag? 30 yo LGBT male. Never been in (or tried for) a relationship. Had a lot of childhood traumas to heal from first.

Anna

37:45

Desperation to be liked....

P

37:50

they don't like that though

Diane Langille

37:59

your good Vienna!😊

Olivia Stiebel

38:00

is it a relationship red flag that i’m watching this right now?

Suzy

38:07

This has just happened to me exactly as you say. And then he turned abusive and I’ve just got out. Thank you for highlighting

Meghan M

38:17

@Brandon, I feel that. I have definitely been a red flag in the past and am afraid of being one again

Kendee

38:20

Mark~ you re a BABE…just sayin

Fabi

38:20

I was dating a guy for three weeks. We had the conversation, he said he want to be exclusive, made plans, said he was all in, feelings growing. I told him someone broke up with me by message and he said that was horrible. Three weeks later we were intimate and he ghosted me after. I can’t believe I felt in this trap. It is so disheartening

Michelle Williamson

38:24

P - moodiness and being mad at you for not being able to spend one day with them is definitely a red flag for narcissism

Lisa

38:25

healthy?

Dave C

38:33

Time

Michelle Williamson

38:36

Kendee - agreed haha

Karina Mancebo

38:37

How do you ask someone to slow down?

Dave C

38:43

Time

Courtney McClintock

38:56

@tanishka I’m with you it’s so hard to know

Rob

39:00

I think it would be great to have those open conversations. Creating a safe space to explore these thoughts.

Nikki

39:04

Karina..like this..hey let's take it little slow..haha

Leslie

39:09

Create a relationship with your intuition

Shari K :)

39:10

I find partner is “gungho” then retreat and lose interest

Tara-lee

39:14

Thank you 🙏🏻

Spencer Brinson

39:15

Thank you for the additional thoughts

Lynn

39:19

As soon as you mention security, they run, or think you're gold digging and then ghosted

Alex Taschuk

39:22

But that's a healthy boundary

Nicole Zimmermann

39:25

@shari I feel that

Sussie Mellstedt

39:33

I hear the word narcissist a lot around. I feel that it might be misused. People can it so easily. What defines a narcissist?

Joshua R

39:38

What about the mislabelling of Love bombing…what if you show love be actually being of service to your partner.

Alex Taschuk

39:38

I guess narcissist don't like health boundaries lol

Cheryl Robinson

39:40

I dodged a bullet recently with someone like this... phew

Nicole

39:43

How do you know its someone's acting off or its codependency kicking in

Suzy

39:45

Spot on Mark

Dani

39:48

but some are covert narcissists...?

Diane Langille

39:50

what is a narcissist?

Seda Aydin

39:50

how about if someone is codependent?

Stacy Kerslake

39:52

Yes it's so crazy to recover from the narcissistic relationship and now I feel avoidant

Casey (Casshawndra) Barber

39:53

I left someone like this and thankful I did

Catherine Davis

39:54

14 years....never again

Gina

40:01

When you don’t spend any time apart, there’s no room for desire and attraction to grow!

Brandon Christopher

40:07

Thanks @meghan!

Michelle Sohn

40:10

So narcissistic person can’t do intimacy?

Shari K :)

40:13

People always seem to be looking for the next best thing

Alex Taschuk

40:13

well said @gina

KARINA RYAN

40:14

Melody Battle has a classic/great book on co-dep

Janice Newpton

40:14

spent 21 years with one

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

40:14

yes and triangulation

Christine

40:15

Textbook description of my last relationship 🤦‍♀️ which is listened to this before

Cheryl Robinson

40:16

They even borderline gaslit me which triggered me

Seda Aydin

40:16

i have always thought there is a thin line between codependent and narcissist

Emilly Dubeau

40:17

What about narcissistic traits on a spectrum?

averywilliams

40:21

what is the difference between codependency and narcissism

Natalie Blazevich

40:22

Hi Maleeha! Yep I’m on!! Wooo we can discuss everything after :) thanks for recommending! I didn’t realize I had it set to just all panelists haha

Sarah Delicate

40:24

Narcissistic personality disorder is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. They follow the same text book. GET OUT.

Gina

40:29

i never saw that as love bombing .. i just wanted to spend time with him cus i loved him

Gina

40:29

🤦🏻‍♀️

Emma Freeman

40:30

Apologies, I joined late. Will the recording be available later?

Eunice Park

40:40

Met someone a couple years ago and the 2 months I was with him was 2 months TOO long. Dodged a bullet and I do believe he has a narcissistic personality

Kristin Wise

40:46

lol my narcissist was definitely anxious attachment style not avoidant. avoidant would just push you away

Sasha

41:01

trauma bonding is real

Cathy McQuitty

41:03

What’s wounding?

Anna

41:11

Those with low self esteem, are hooked by the love bombing stage... I was

jp

41:16

i slowed down when asked and he stayed impersonal from then on, like i was in his daily communication it it felt intellectual, antecdotal and no longer emotional or intimate.

Rob

41:19

💯 @sasha

Nikki

41:23

what is trauma bonding?

Hannah

41:29

I’m attracted to red flags

Gina

41:33

great topic guys

jody

41:33

I was just discarded after telling the person I needed to take things slow.Blocked . 😢 it stung but over it .

cass

41:36

How do you be in a new relationship after being in one that was super hot and heavy and loved bombed and narcissistic. My first relationship was super controlling and again, the big surprises and presents that were distracting me from the issues, and now I feel like in my new relationship I think that those big things are what love is

Nikki

41:38

what is trauma bonding?

jp

41:42

it was so fucking excruciating. the intensity was mutual for many weeks before this.

Caylen Garrie

41:54

what if the narcissit takes slow in the beginning but looks at other women for attention. He set all the right boundaries and I wanted to see him all the time, so does that mean I am the narcissist? BC I wanted to spend time with him

Hannah

41:54

I’m attracted to red flags, I’ve never thought of it as trauma bonding?

Jill

42:03

Should I begin dating even though I'm not over my previous relationship?

Dave C

42:05

Chemistry vs Trauma Bonding?

Stace

42:10

I just set a boundary/broke a pattern for the first time w/ a guy from online dating I was "drawn to" that in the past I would've likely ended up being intimate with but then regretting after. These sessions/videos really DO help clarify your past actions/from wounding, etc. <3

Tanishka Chawla

42:13

Here for Hannah's question

Jen

42:28

My relationship with my dad… ya

Julie

42:29

3 months in he was all in, he gave the green lights. He says he developed feelings and then suddenly bolted saying not ready for a relationship

Tanishka Chawla

42:34

attraction to emotional unavailability vs trauma bonding

Maria Sol Arevalo

42:37

I’m struggling dealing with not understanding how someone can’t fall in love. I have been dating for 6 months and my partner have to move to another country in 3 months and he decided to end the relationship now . Telling me he can’t get In love because of the trip and don’t want a long distance relationship. It’s difficult to me to be ok with his decision. I understand why he did it but my emotional part doesn’t gets it, wants to be with him no matter what. Any advice please?

Maliha Gangat

42:39

Hahaha aww no so good to see you made it NAT! Yesss I’ll hop on insta later tonight.

Meghan M

42:41

Yay @Stace! Good job breaking that pattern. Powerful stuff

Nicole Guerrero

42:50

So Wounding is Repetition Compulsion?

Stace

42:53

Thanks @Megan M

Natalie Blazevich

43:00

Yay can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss haha

Katie Branscum

43:02

YESSSS @Stace!!! I have done this recently as well. It’s so empowering and healing

Leslie

43:16

Trust your emotions

Natalie Blazevich

43:16

Yesss can’t wait girl! Lots to discuss!

Tanishka Chawla

43:21

Same here Stace!!

Stace

43:23

Thanks @Katie, it felt so good to send him the "I think we'r elooking for different things" message <3

Stace

43:42

Great job @Tanishka

KARINA RYAN

43:44

wow

Leslie

43:45

Listen to your emotions

Kelsey Chapman

43:55

How do you know if someone who is emotionally unavailable is starting to change? Do you stick around or automatically run?

L M

44:04

Oh just had a lightbulb moment on that one about someone choosing work over time with me. Wow!

CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI

44:06

Is it inherently bad that they may be a diligent worker if you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic?

McKenzie Utter

44:08

@Nicole I’m no expert but I’d say it’s not necessarily repetition compulsion but more so showing you where you may have a wound that needs healing.

Kendrick Samuel

44:08

So true

brendabasile

44:09

but how do you change what you’re attracted to?

Tara-lee

44:14

Thank you 🙏🏻 this is so great! ❤️

vicki

44:14

ouch! I always pick the ones who tell me their priorities are kids/work

Jax

44:18

Our body also feels different between the two as well…

FARNOOSH

44:20

huge light bulb moment 🙏

Bella A

44:21

How do we heal these wounds. to avoid recreating them

Peter Middleton

44:25

I thought we are drawn to partners who mirror our wounds, so we can heal them in love, is that trauma bonding?

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

44:27

Yessss love this explanation of wounds

Michelle Hu

44:27

Is trauma bonding always bad? I had a workaholic father who was unavailable and I ended up dating someone who was also a workaholic. But the relationship was great. Is it always bad?

KARINA RYAN

44:34

This is so valuable - thank you

Hannah

44:34

How can I “re-wire” my thoughts/actions to not go down the path of chasing after red flag people?

Courtney Crispin

44:38

So then how do you heal it? by communicating?

Olivia Stiebel

44:40

does anyone have long distance relationship advice

Jean Caprio

44:43

so trickey!

Mahinaz Shakeib

44:43

and ironically, sometimes we are attracted to the total opposite of our wounds bcause we dont want to re create that

Tanishka Chawla

44:43

how do you unlearn these patterns you've grown up? when these unhealthy attachments are all you have ever known?

Olivia Stiebel

44:44

/red flags in LDRs

Sheri Salata

44:53

VALID!

Jen

44:55

:)

Megan D'Agosta

44:56

Can those relationships work if both open to healing?

Liz Slipko

44:56

Can you revisit that trauma bond and activation principle?

Stace

45:02

a huge part of healing the wounds is being/become aware of them and their impact on how you act/patterns it creates for you in realtionship <3

Amanda F.

45:02

If you aren’t attracted to people who are good for you, and you stop moving toward the people you ARE drawn to…are you just basically stuck being alone if you want to be healthy?

Rob

45:08

Maybe we just need to slow down…why rush into anything?!

Nicole

45:19

How do we learn to let gooo, when we feel in love and like we need to fix the relationship ?!

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

45:21

so what do you mean when we have to be triggered to heal?

Jenni Meskus

45:24

The trauma bonds feel so strong whereas "sensibly" chosen relationships feel a bit *blah*. It's hard to choose differently.

Hannah

45:40

I’m with you, Amanda!

Fiona Luke

45:50

Jihari

Amanda F.

45:53

YES what Jenni said - this is what makes me feel kind of sad for the future

maya

45:55

i love that

Nikki

46:01

Olivia I do! I've had a 7 yrs long distance relationship and we ended up being together a total of 14 yrs married him and had 3 children..we're no longer together. you can message me at ndavila15 on IG

CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI

46:06

Definitely, thanks for that!

Cathy McQuitty

46:11

No, that was good!

maya

46:15

understanding each other triggers

Olivia Stiebel

46:17

thank you, nikki!

SB

46:18

Is it possible to even attract healthy people when you know that you have such deep entrenched issues. I feel like it detracts healthy people. I mean, I am actively dealing with myself, but it's going to be a lot of slow moving and potential triggering.

McKenzie Utter

46:20

@Amanda and @Hannah You can find someone that you’re attracted to and is good for you:) It’s a lot about stepping into your worth and owning it.

Monique B.

46:21

Triggering your child hood wounds is a blessing if you take the time to look within and heal it

Lindie

46:30

Do you want all the questions now? Or hold onto it until the end?

Dale Woods

46:32

@amanda no, you can work through it and become aware of why you are attracted to those people in the first place, heal the wounds then you will be ready to meet people that are a good match / healthy for you

maya

46:34

i scared off a new date because i brought up my trigger too soon

Cristina

46:38

He didn’t introduced to family or friends after 8 months

Dan

46:40

Is being unattracted to healthy people similar to being fearful avoidant? Like we fear secure connection thus why we chase unavailability or red flags

Elli

46:41

*I am breaking the pattern now and I am MARRIED. *Do you think the marriage can survive when you break thru? I did trauma bonding with my man and he did with me too I feel

Jen

46:53

An invitation for change

Nhu Richie (she/her)

46:54

It’s all in contrast, you need something opposite to bring it out and it’s not necessarily bad, it just shines a light on to what it is that makes us different.

Hannah

46:55

Maya, we’ve all been there! You just won back time :)

Cristina

47:00

I’m scared to give my heart away again

Melissa Spence

47:01

I avoid relationships and am genuinely not that interested in even dating.

Kaz

47:02

My ex used to always be triggered by anything I said or did and I would have no clue why he would go off but now I believe it was to do with his avoidant attachment style and projecting on to me

Nisha Jamal

47:03

scared off? or saved time :) @Maya

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

47:04

how do you know when the relationship is safe?

Nikki

47:06

you're welcome 🙂

kim crane

47:06

I think a covert narcissist comes in differently then the other types. Mine was a victim, seemed almost too vulnerable. He was intense and I felt off, but eventually convinced myself I didn’t know what it was like to be so loved. As time went on, he was passive aggressively controlling. It wasn’t until I had to make big changes in my life that would affect him, did I see the rage of his control, the victimization and gaslighting, over and over again. when you tell someone you have to step away and take care of yourself and they annihilated you with everything you shared in your vulnerability. It messes with your mind.

Leslie

47:12

I completely stopped dating and learned about myself

Petra

47:12

New Question: How long do you keep giving people chances to better themselves, and how do i remain interested and intimate with them while they are working on themselves? Because They Are working on themselves, but it has taken so much time/pain/suffering, at this point I don't even really feel it anymore. How does one get back from a relationship full of suffering, and change it emotionally into something beautiful?

McKenzie Utter

47:14

@Maya Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly really helped me with doing that type of thing!

maya

47:17

how soon do you bring up triggers in dating?

Sho Eli

47:21

How do you find those safe relationships in order to heal? I keep ending up in situationships that trigger me but they never turn into relationships

Michelle

47:27

So helpful!

kchambers

47:29

How do you stay optimistic and try to give people a chance while also being cautious and alert on red flags/past patterns?

Melissa Spence

47:33

I date myself and have become super protective of me.

Tammara

47:38

Same @ Leslie

Meghan M

47:43

@Sho me too!!

Amanda Alvorada

47:44

I had the same experience with you Kim

Megan

47:47

@kim crane exact experience here…and see that pattern myself…drawn to people who paint themselves as victims…

Jules

48:01

Being activated in a safe relationship...so helpful!

Lydia M

48:01

Can a narcissist change? And how do you get them to change?

Julie

48:03

Are they aware of their actions as they're doing this?

Lisa

48:08

its me that's controlling

Tamara

48:20

That’s an amazing concept ...if we need touch the wound (triggered) how can we heal or change the outcome

Tamara

48:27

Never*

Simona

48:33

analogy I thought of and like: trauma is that box in the creepy basement you either dont know is there or you know its there and wont open. trigger is when that box ends up in the hallway

Samara M.

48:56

when you depart from spending time from a narcissist you are depleted. if its chemistry, you get energy.

link

48:58

is it narcissist if I express my feelings but instead of being understanding or validating, they become defensive to "assure" you that their actions did not come with mal intent

Nikki

49:00

question: had an amazing, mind blowing first date with a guy where we laughed for hours and undeniable compatibility and chemistry. 2 days later he texts me a long text saying he thought he was ready for something real and he's not blah blah blah and that he never met someone so amazing blah blah blah and that he's not emotionally available. why did he run if the chemistry was amazing?

Elsa Palanza

49:16

How do you keep yourself openhearted and willing to “dive in” with a new person while maintaining enough distance to see the red flags? I want to give a new date the benefit of the doubt but sometimes that prevents me from seeing those possible flags early on…

Amanda.Ferriss

49:18

Once you're good at not moving forward with someone when its more coming from trauma bonding - how do you then become attracted to people who are better for you? Because you still want to be excited about the connection and what if that "chemistry" feeling only comes from the trauma bonding?

Nicole

49:18

Standards for relationship different from standards for casual? Are there ever red flags for relationship that aren't red flags for casual?

Nikki

49:20

no sex just 5 hrs of talking and laughing over drinks and dinner..

Dan

49:28

I’m fearful avoidant and can’t get close to anybody whether they’re healthy or unhealthy lol. I guess my initial trigger is closeness to ANYBODY that I need to overcome

Rachel Kiehnau

49:31

I seem to ask where we are in a relationship too often

Jen

49:41

Lol

Lynn

49:45

@ Nilli I relate to that

Michelle Williamson

49:46

Nikki same thing happened to me

Jenna Strusowski

49:52

SAME

Rob

49:52

Nikki, all him, nothing to do with you!

Lynn

49:55

@Nikki sorry

Rachel

49:56

Lmao the voice

Judith Z

49:59

@Dan, so recognizable haha me too!

Nikki

50:00

Dan can you message me on IG later so I can pick your brain?

Jax

50:01

Ah same same

Chantale

50:05

Amen.. question 3 is soooooo me!!

STTOWNING

50:05

Yes! same here

Elli

50:07

Nikki he prob has still stuff to integrate and recognized thru feelings of intimidation.

Jules

50:10

Wow! This question! Aaargh!

Cady Macon (she/her)

50:13

………did I write this and get amnesia?????

Gary Gottselig

50:14

MMMHMM!!!

Christa Mariash

50:17

OMG yaassss this question is so relevant to me

jayne

50:17

Thafs exactlyMy story too

Hannah

50:18

This question!!!!

Jax

50:20

Yes, tell us more!!

Fiona Luke

50:21

That’s me

Ajo

50:21

And if they say yes they enjoy it but no rush for relationship that’s not a red flag, that’s not unavailability? That’s just no rush

Sarah Stevenson

50:22

preach

Jenni Meskus

50:23

Yup been there done that

Tanishka Chawla

50:24

yess!!!!

Courtney Crispin

50:24

great question

Hannah

50:24

IM READY

Cara Nissen

50:26

@rachel- same

Pamela Pesek

50:28

DO IT

maya

50:28

wow amazing question

Sarah Delicate

50:28

Same.

Gary Gottselig

50:28

hahaha… IM HERE FOR THIS

Pamela Pesek

50:29

LOL

Jules

50:29

Bring it

Paulette

50:30

Yesssssss

Cara Nissen

50:33

@rachel- same

Nicole Guerrero

50:33

I feel like I wrote that one!!

Jennifer

50:35

@Nikki I am in the same boat!

MikeO

50:37

That's a GOOD question!

Sarah Stevenson

50:38

THAT PART

Stace

50:38

Let's do it. I'm here for this one :)

M Coopeer

50:38

Yes! BEFORE I get invested

Suhasini Sundaresan

50:40

excellent question!!

Ajo

50:42

This is so helpful

Natalie Fardell

50:42

my ex shared a trauma from his past with me 6 weeks into our relationship... I knew that this would be with us forever. then a week later he pulled away and we broke up. Now every conversation we have end up with us talking about it and him getting really upset.

Lake Tullis

50:44

Goooodd question

maya

50:45

origins part!!

Hannah

50:46

Say it again!

Jax

50:49

curiosity!

Lake Tullis

50:50

ahhhhh

Lake Tullis

50:51

Love it

Meghan M

50:52

WOW

Megan

50:52

But I think the point is they’re not avoidant at first…it comes later after you’re invested...

Nicole

50:54

What about their avoidance serves something in you?

Pamela Pesek

50:55

I am sitting with a margarita - this is good

Jen

50:56

Have any examples of how it would serve you?

Rea Shahroudi

50:58

naughty!

Michelle Williamson

51:03

I don’t know what that means

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

51:04

exactly

Kim

51:06

Hmmm....it's familiar.

Nikki

51:06

glad I'm not alone just so confused by his actions!

Rea Shahroudi

51:11

self worth

Maria

51:11

How do I break that question down?

Dan

51:14

Sure Nikki — I’m becoming more aware of my attachment, but I ran from healthy secure women for years. Well, I ran from everyone. But even the good ones.

Katie Branscum

51:17

Fear of true intimacy

Kim

51:18

We don't like it though....

katherine

51:21

Because I love being that person they go to for support

Chelsea

51:27

self fulfilling prophecy

Whitney Moon

51:28

I’ve found that unavailable men fits MY narrative of “people always leave me/people aren’t interested in me"

Jordan Leigh

51:29

but they aren't avoidant at first....

Michelle Williamson

51:30

Thanks, Mark

Rachelle F

51:31

I went on a first date with a guy I met online. we messaged for a couple weeks and seemed easy going. on the date, he spoke about himself the entire time. never asked about me or bit when I would try to insert myself into conversation... red flag orrrr??

STTOWNING

51:35

Im afraid they wont truly like me if they find out who I really am. I have always tried to be who I think people want me to be and now I don't know who I truly am.

Christa Mariash

51:37

YES

Jenni Meskus

51:38

Fear of being loved truly

Meghan M

51:42

fear that deep down i’m unloveable and don’t deserve emotional availability

Megan

51:42

@Jordan yes exactly!!

Courtney Crispin

51:43

usually there is

Michelle Williamson

51:50

Nope. No part of me that is unavailable.

M Coopeer

51:53

ohhhhhhhhh....yes...definately

Alex Taschuk

51:54

What would the subtle difference be between being copedendent or narcissistic with wanting to be around your lover, complimenting them, being intimate, etc? My past relationship if I would complement too much, or want to do things with them, I'd get blamed for being codependent, but isn't there some naturalness in this? Im having a tough time differentiating

Maliha Gangat

51:59

Ive come a long way but possibly… maybe a little bit ??

Gary Gottselig

52:03

Yes… that’s me!

Melissa Malone

52:04

Exactly - they are not avoidant at first. The very opposite!

Chelsea

52:12

deep down we are scared of being hurt again, so we unconsciously want unavailable people so we don't fall deep and get hurt extra hard

Julie Longchamp

52:14

are men really intimidated by smart successful independent women?

Hannah

52:14

I’m avoidant if they don’t show red flags, but then the complete opposite if they DO show red flags

Cady Macon (she/her)

52:16

^ Melissa, same here

Gary Gottselig

52:17

How do we become more available?

Meghan M

52:18

there is an “anxious avoidant” attachment style

C. Slaughter

52:21

For me, it was repeating the sacrifice. Love, growing up, was about sacrifice and giving until it depleted me. Especially as a child. Once I worked through it with my therapist, the cycle stopped. Giving too much became draining

Rachael

52:23

Why do I want my cheating ex back so much? He cheated and I am pregnant. I need to stop longing for a "family" as he left me for someone else

Natalie Blazevich

52:30

I’m always afraid of making the wrong decision and getting in too deep with someone and then ending up hurting them. I would rather be the one hurt

Tana

52:32

Their avoidance is your own opportunity to practice. Well at least for me it has been. I've enjoyed it but it comes a point that I get bored because I settle for the little slivers and that ultimately doesn't serve me.

Shari K :)

52:33

Its so difficult to know any of this when meeting someone always displaying different behavioss

Maliha Gangat

52:36

Sooo deeeeeppppp

Maria

52:43

No. That’s not it. I am available to those things. I am ready. I have been

Monique B.

52:50

Mirroring!

Michelle Williamson

52:52

Maria, same

SB

52:54

Repeats out loud: "I'm not ready to be vulnerable."

Courtney Crispin

52:58

But what if you are being vulnerable? Do you mean having hard conversations?

Dan

52:58

I associate love with hurt, my earliest caregiver (mom) abandoned me and I had emotional neglect. So I can’t trust people even when ALL the signs are there and theres no red flags... it’s almost irrational because I recognize it but deep down the fear persists!

Nikki Taylor

52:59

lightbulb moment!!

Stace

53:01

the fear of being hurt "again" holds us back and can make us unavailable

Christa Mariash

53:03

yes, projection and mirroring

Nicole

53:04

But I cant find what its serving me ?

Leslie

53:08

Do you feel people need to earn your trust before you give your trust

Lilit

53:18

if you have some trust issues, does that mean you are not fully available?

Petra

53:22

How do i become available?

Oana

53:24

Spot on!!!

Hannah

53:24

That protective barrier

Rea Shahroudi

53:24

well said

Hannah

53:26

Ugh

Tana

53:28

100 percent

Alex Taschuk

53:28

Totally makes sense

Celeste Esparza

53:29

Yes!!!!!

Christa Mariash

53:30

sure does

KARINA RYAN

53:32

yes'

Melisa Fissore

53:33

Yes totally does

Chantale

53:34

I am not ready to be truly loved because I have no clues how this would feel. OUCH

SB

53:35

I want to be vulnerable, but I don't want to do that too soon and become emotionally attached when I am not sure about the person being a long term match.

brendabasile

53:36

that was awesome!!

Megan

53:36

But is it choosing an unavailable person if they act very available for the first few weeks/months?????

Maria Aedo

53:42

Makes total sense!

Ni

53:43

Leave

Stephanie LoPresti

53:43

Leave me.

Ellie

53:44

I herd the echos of that ❤️

Suhasini Sundaresan

53:44

wooow!

Emma

53:45

What about dudes that are sneaky unavailable? Over time?

Judith Z

53:45

How does that work when you are willing to dive into the vulnerability and it smell h was too but then when we shared a lot he seemed to change his mind and ran…

Viktoria

53:47

Totally makes sense.

Jen

53:47

For sure

Barbara Watkins

53:50

Wow!

Kelsey Chapman

53:51

I love this! I have discovered that I am emotionally unavailable when it comes to commitment/trusting so I still gravitate toward emotionally unavailable men. How do we change this?

Gina

53:52

Sometimes when we date unavailable people, it’s easier to place the blame on other people when they leave us instead of not fixing our shit.

Molly

53:54

Wow

Barbara Watkins

53:56

Mind blowing

Kim

53:56

Okay so how do we repair those hurt parts of us that make us unintentionally pull away

Michelle Williamson

53:58

They disappear.

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

53:59

abandonment

Barbara Watkins

54:02

When I love people, they…

Michelle Sohn

54:03

So good… we are not ready for intimacy perhaps…

Jen

54:18

Yup

Megan

54:19

@Emma yes to “sneaky unavailable”…exactly!

Courtney Crispin

54:20

Avoidance can be vulnerable in the beginning because there’s less risk right? But then when stakes get higher they shut down?

Maria

54:24

I really need a relationship coach 😔

Samantha

54:27

Yup 👍🏻

STTOWNING

54:27

Can all these issues be resolved with self worth?

Kristin Wise

54:29

it all boils down to communicating. how you approach the situation when you see a flag will show you your attachment style and how they respond will show you if you should stay or leave

Michelle Sohn

54:29

I am the ultimate choosers of unavoidable men

Hannah

54:29

Kim, repairing the relationship with yourself? Healing from childhood trauma?

Paulette

54:30

Makes so much sense wow .. I need to figure out what area I’mUnavailable in because I don’t feel like I know the answer to that !

Izz

54:30

How do you know what true love is if what you've been taught, isn't real healthy love?

Linda

54:30

Thanks! You just answered a question.

Michelle Williamson

54:31

But whyyyyyy lol it doesn’t make sense!

AFD

54:38

Truth! I want live but I’m terrified of it. Makes sense that I pick unavailable

Melissa Malone

54:40

So true

Phnmedic

54:41

You both are awesome

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

54:44

so true

Dave C

54:47

Self sabotage by validating the fear

Leslie

55:01

These two people are the best relationship mentors I have ever beheld

tina

55:01

It brings up internal pain

Jen

55:08

I wait for vulnerability from the other person before I feel like I can be vulberable

Iliana Gerasimenko

55:09

How can we practically implement some techniques to test our emotional availability?

Robin

55:16

how do you know when someone is a good match? how do you know when you are aware or discerning or know yourself well enough to trust in your decision making when it comes to choosing the "right" match?

SB

55:18

Um, fear of being in an enclosed space alone with someone for starters. Is there even hope?

Nicole

55:21

Recreation of dysfunction is a control of pain, the kind of suffering we undergo

Maria

55:21

Lacking Self-worth

Tammara

55:25

So true

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

55:27

so how do we change that

Kristin Wise

55:29

it's ok to date ppl with insecure attachment! half the population is insecure. secure ppl bring insecure ppl into the light lol

Nicole

55:29

I feel ready. I love vulnerability and open conversations.. I try to make things work.. and they get avoidant anyways... and it hurts. WHY AM I STILL WAITING FOR THEM ?

Paulette

55:30

That’s it ... it’s fear ..

maya

55:31

you guys are so beautiful and wonderful for teaching us these important things. thanks so much. so grateful

Jenna Strusowski

55:38

yep

Christa Mariash

55:38

all. the. time.

Tammy Loblick

55:38

Good question

Gina

55:39

It’s easier CODEPENDENCY

Lisa

55:41

of course!

Pamela

55:42

Yes

elinarudkovsky

55:44

That would be me

Katie Branscum

55:44

Guilty

Jenna

55:45

Offft

Briane Agostinelli

55:46

yep -

Tamara

55:46

Omg ...yes

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

55:47

how do we know when we are ready to be available ?

Lisa Datz

55:47

That’s a good one!!!!!!

Linda

55:48

Good one!

Jenna

55:48

Guilty

Chantale

55:49

I AM A FIXER UPPER..lol

Ajo

55:49

Me

Emma

55:50

I feel attacked!! hahahaa

Jen

55:50

I used to

Jenni Meskus

55:51

Codependent saviours unite!

Catherine Davis

55:51

Savior complex

Petra Juratovec

55:51

My father was extremely emotionally abusive, my partner feels a little unsafe (yelling and snaping at me when we fight) but i don't know if im so fed up with abuse i became too intolerant of normal (at times) behaviours, how much is too much? I get uspet when he snaps at me, but he thinks im overreacting

STTOWNING

55:53

that person has to want to move to be available. I cant do it

Maliha Gangat

55:54

lolll

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

55:54

guilty

Suhasini Sundaresan

55:56

yess!!

Lizzy

55:59

can you repeat that please

Nicole

55:59

Yep

Michelle Sohn

55:59

What’s the question again?

Sally Reid

56:02

Woww I think you hit the nail on the head

Maria Espinosa

56:03

The book Attached has great examples of signs to look out for in potentially avoidant partners

Huda

56:06

It’s always easier to work on others than on ourselves.

Briane Agostinelli

56:06

yes- fixer

Lisa

56:06

yup!

rachel (they/them)

56:08

WHEW

Nicole

56:08

Whats the question ??

abh majumdar

56:08

yep

Chelsea Pimentel

56:08

YES

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

56:09

people pleaser

Andrea Ishak

56:12

YESSSS

Tanishka Chawla

56:12

yess! everytime i meet a person who is emotionally unavailable, i take it up as a challenge. i want to change and fix them, it adds to the spark for me...

Tamara

56:12

I was always a fixer ..

Tammara

56:14

YES

Christa Mariash

56:16

they will only change if they want to do the work

Michelle

56:18

Yes!

Jen

56:19

Ohhh yeaaahh that reasonatea

Jenn

56:22

🙋🏻‍♀️

Fabia MacNair

56:22

The project husband

Chelsea Pimentel

56:24

such a people pleaser. want to try to change them. validates me

Jules

56:24

Oooooh I see me in that

Kim

56:25

Thanks Hannah, I am attending CODA these days. But not sure what full healing of myself truly looks like. I have a lot independence...but not sure I am completely satisfied with who I am.

Maria

56:26

Yes

Megan

56:26

oh I feel THIS

Chelsea Pimentel

56:26

yes!

Nikki

56:26

Can the person who walked away out of fear from getting close ever come back?

Laura Taylor

56:27

People don’t change!

Tanishka Chawla

56:28

yes!!!

Maria

56:29

Exactly

Sylvia Reilly

56:29

OMG yesssss - I’m a classic fixer especially fixing their dysfunctional family elements

Adriana

56:31

yep. turned a fuckboi into a husband...ended up divorced....thought he ''changed''...listen to what she is saying people! haha

Nicole

56:32

"What does it say about you if you can get someone to change?" AAAAhhhh!!

Lake Tullis

56:33

yesssss

Eileen Roche

56:34

Landing

Lake Tullis

56:34

yesss

M Coopeer

56:34

Yep

Eve

56:35

hell yess

LC

56:35

I was subconsciously doing that for YEARSSSS

KelceyLifts

56:35

Ummm me

Jordan

56:36

👋🏼

Nicole

56:36

absolutely

Sue Chapple

56:36

yes

Erin Hovi

56:37

Shooooot

Suhasini Sundaresan

56:37

omg! that's so trueee

Natalie James

56:37

Oh yeah

Chelsea Woodman

56:37

BAM!!

Guergana

56:37

ye

moniquesam

56:37

yup...

KARINA RYAN

56:38

ugh..yes

Lian Newallo

56:38

yes

Tana

56:38

That's the ego at play for sure

Gina

56:39

They are people, not projects!!!

Christina

56:39

nooo I don't have the time for that

liz Silva

56:39

Daaanngg

marielbarrera

56:39

yeppppp

Seda Aydin

56:39

that is codependency

stacy

56:39

Haha yep

Megan Pounder

56:40

Yesss

Kathy Leiva

56:40

most def

Eve

56:40

yesssssssssssssss

Pamela Pesek

56:41

eff yes

Sarah Delicate

56:41

Yep

Iliana

56:41

YASS!

Jordan

56:42

🤦🏼‍♀️ guilty

Kelsey Chapman

56:42

yep!!

Maria Aedo

56:42

yup!!!

Celeste Esparza

56:42

Yessss

Megan Kramer

56:42

yeahhh

Tori Zepp

56:42

Haha triggered

MikeO

56:42

YEs

Brittany Donovan

56:42

Hahaha

Megan

56:43

Yup…eek…

Anna

56:43

100%

Anna

56:43

That's me!

brendabasile

56:43

very much

Marc

56:43

yup

liz Silva

56:44

Spicy

Jules

56:44

🙋🏻‍♀️

Susan

56:44

I married one! 18 years later- couldn’t change anything and gave up

Jennifer

56:44

No

Nancee Winslow

56:45

Yyesssss

Rebecca Tucker

56:45

1000%

Laura Taylor

56:45

Only you can change yourself

Alisha Drimmie

56:45

yessss

Andria Panidisz

56:46

🙋🏻‍♀️

Lizette Montesinos

56:46

I think that’s me

Tara

56:47

💯

Gabriela Martinez

56:47

Yes

Peter Middleton

56:47

ouch

Sarah Krysalka

56:47

Lawd!!!

Jill DiCandia

56:48

🤚🏻

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

56:48

I Was not anymore

AMBER

56:48

🙌

Janet

56:50

Yuuuuup

Jenn

56:52

🙋🏻‍♀️

moniquesam

56:53

omg

Annie Lukey

56:55

Did anyone write down Mark’s quote on ‘all of the questions/conversations that we don’t want to have in dating…’

Jessica G

56:55

🙋🏻‍♀️

Tammy

56:56

🤚

Gary Gottselig

56:57

hahaha… yes.. all the self work.. wtf :P

kimkat

56:57

100%

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

56:57

YESSSSSS

Sonia Dhuga

56:58

HI SANJ 😊❤

Monique B.

56:59

Y'all are calling me out lol

Gina

57:00

that’s so me lol

Jessica Kristy

57:00

“Look how special I am”

Lisa

57:01

but we don't know thats who they are when it starts. But we want to make it work...

Anastasia

57:02

oh yeah fixer uppers

Charley Thomas

57:03

HI, IT ME lol

Joan

57:03

The whisperer!!!

Maria

57:05

NOT doing that again

Tammy

57:06

💯💯💯

L M

57:06

I have absolutely done that. Ended up in a 3 year relationship because I just assumed they would want what I want once they knew me lol That was a hard lesson but such a valuable one :)

Eileen Roche

57:11

And now I have a partner who is Available with a capital A and it scares me!

Oana

57:14

The unfulfilling dynamic with my dad was reflected in different ways in my romantic relationships , also trying to get a “happy end” to the story

Brigitte Bourque

57:22

so if you pinpointed what your block, what would be the next step, process.. on the work

Petra

57:26

I'm such an amateur plumber 🖐️

Sue Chapple

57:35

I just want everyone to be okay and put this before my own well-being.

Laura Kennedy

57:35

A call IN to conversation instead of a call out 💗

Laura

57:36

Just dropping this here: the book Deeper dating from Ken Page is fab !! How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy🙌

Tamara

57:36

How do you change yourself from fixer ....what are we then

MikeO

57:37

We want to be the hero to the one we love

Bo M L

57:45

And WHAT DO I DO WHEN I AM A FIXER, SAVER?

Elli

57:46

can you repeaT the 3rd question please?

Misty

57:47

I always end up dating guys that have things to work on. I help them and then the next female they date they end up marrying.

Peter Middleton

57:50

protection mechanism

Gary Gottselig

57:54

I have taht one Laura.. haven’t read it yet… maybe its time! :)

tina

57:57

For sure. How do we notice the signs of this in the moment?

Angela M

57:59

all dat every day. If I love them enough they will become available. But it des not work!

Bo M L

58:02

to change it and heal?

Jules

58:06

Thanks @Laura

jadanhuter

58:12

If someones red flag is lying but they want to fix it do you think that is possible to ever trust and grow from that

abh majumdar

58:16

well --- no words here lol cheated on my marriage to be with a person -- apparently being unmarried and working on ur divorce took the kick out of it .. I am boring now

Bethany

58:18

@Laura —YESSSS! Love that book so much! Also he has a podcast that is FABULOUS! Deeper Dating for the win!

Dan

58:26

Loving an unavailable person makes you feel good like you’re the one giving and giving, but it helps you avoid your own shit because you’re focussed on then

Jen

58:32

We need to save ourselves

Leslie

58:34

I know I am completely unavailable and the more bravely I face that the more fiercely I am able to heal myself and grow

Susan

58:34

How do you continue to stay open to people and keep trying

Laura

58:36

Welcome :)

Gina

58:43

Will Smith once said that BLAME and RESPONSIBILITY are two different things.

Sarah Stevenson

58:50

What was that quote? “It’s not our fault what happened, but it’s our responsibility to..."

Jennifer Turner

58:51

Difference between needy and venerablity?

Paulette

58:51

This is all so good

Jennifer

58:54

You’ll know when you are ready for love not addiction

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

58:57

completely yes

Suhasini Sundaresan

59:01

well said ❤️

abh majumdar

59:02

its what is hear sit in it

Joshua R

59:18

Well said, walking away is loving ourselves.

Brandi Wilson

59:21

Do you think it’s possible to explore/expect deep intimacy & love with a partner without exclusive commitment? I just left a 20+ year marraige & have done the work & want to deep dive but need space to heal & explore for a good long while since I’ve been on my own.

Natalie Blazevich

59:22

YES

brendabasile

59:22

yes

Briane Agostinelli

59:23

yes

Megan Pounder

59:25

Yepp

Tanishka Chawla

59:28

yes

katherine

59:28

Ooo yikes. Yes..

Peter Middleton

59:31

yes

Suhasini Sundaresan

59:31

yesss

Lee

59:34

Wow

Lee

59:43

Yup

Briane Agostinelli

59:50

or didn’t try hard enough or do enough

elinarudkovsky

59:56

yes

Brandi Wilson

59:56

(“Never” been on my own)

Dan

59:56

Oh fuck I always thought do I love this person enough to commit so I would run before getting any deeper, but really I was just protecting myself not them

Leslie

59:58

Shame suffocates

AFD

01:00:02

Betray them. Yes. One. Shits getting deep.

Jana

01:00:03

no

Chantale

01:00:03

Yes.. I broke my marriage and my family.. I hurt a lot of people by leaving my husband…!

Huda

01:00:10

Yes! Since I always live in fear of disappointing my strict parents

Lee

01:00:12

Omg

elinarudkovsky

01:00:15

@dan are you my ex?

Maria

01:00:18

Can you post these questions so we can reflect more…later?

Eileen Roche

01:00:34

I am currently fighting that feeling and I think its an excuse for not doing the work to truly show up for him

Jennifer

01:00:36

Put the mask on yourself first.

Elli

01:00:37

Yes @Maria thanks. Please do guys

Jenny Cruickshank

01:00:38

Yes I see that..... so they may just choose one nighters, flings, etc.

Melissa Malone

01:00:44

Agreed @maria

KARINA RYAN

01:00:50

What do you do if you don't trust yourself...oh gd' :/

katherine

01:00:58

It’s not that I don’t trust myself, it’s that I never trusted them to begin with

Chantale

01:01:03

Amen Mark!

Nikki

01:01:12

Dan can we talking DM bc you seem like the guy I went out with and would just like to get your thoughts on his point of view cause I'm so confused.

Catherine Davis

01:01:24

Going through that right now

Jules

01:01:44

“The responsibility that comes with closeness”

Judith Z

01:01:46

The fear of not being enough so they will end up leaving, but then they leave right in the beginning and I’m still broken and not enough

Gina

01:01:53

@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?

AFD

01:01:54

I ended a 28 year marriage. I finally chose myself but I hurt my kids. Forgiving yourself is a process.

Corazon ♥️

01:01:56

I also ended my 10 yr relationship because I believed & assumed that everything was going well between my fiance/boyfriend (realizing now that he was completely unavailable right from the start)

Gina

01:02:06

@mark, how did you accept that responsibility?

Amy Williamson Waldrup

01:02:07

That really hit. I divorced my husband after 12 years and hurt him so much. I never want to do that again. So I never date anyone for long. How do I change that?

Caroline

01:02:11

I don't believe I have the "power" to hurt anyone

Belinda Govatos

01:02:14

My husband has major abandonment issues and abandons me by joining online dating sites so he can abandon me before I can abandon him…even though I had no intention of abandoning him. It’s incredibly hurtful.

Laura Taylor

01:02:17

Hmmm…. I tend to punish, so if they did something to me, I react and try to hurt them back. A tit for tat situation. It’s childish and listening to Mark, I’ve realised I don’t want to act that way.

Leslie

01:02:18

My brother held blame for me all of his life and treated me like shit because if it and ruined the relationships and blamed me for everything

Diane

01:02:26

So true. Ending an engagement and I am crushed but have to do it.

Simona

01:02:28

definitely better to cut something off than to slowly shred a relationship

Chelsea Pimentel

01:02:29

this happened to me. such hurt and makes me afraid to hurt someone again... honestly didn't realize that until this

Akua Reid

01:02:33

Will this be available to watch again later this weekend?

Oliver Fecko

01:02:45

Why sometimes partners leave you once the relationship is perfect for a while after some challenges? Happened to me during last 2 relationship... they left just during the most beautiful period when we started talking about family and kids

Natalie James

01:02:47

LOVING THIS GUYS 🙏🏻

STTOWNING

01:02:54

Vienna, I don't know about anyone else but it is hard to hear you.

Alysha Gurr

01:02:58

Whoa is that written down somewhere? The differences between compromise and sacrifice?

Lynn

01:02:59

22 yr marriage done after I found out my ex didn't trust anyone after his first gf dumped him, including me

Brie Stoner

01:02:59

Yep. Bawling over here at the divorce insight

Sonia Dhuga

01:03:01

thanks veinna for recognizing that

Sonia Dhuga

01:03:09

its not easy work 😥

Chantale

01:03:09

Can someone finish the sentence mark said..”have a difference between sacrifice and …”

Suhasini Sundaresan

01:03:22

I find it super hard to value myself

Create The Love

01:03:22

Compromise

Christa Mariash

01:03:24

it's not easy, but it's raw and real.

AFD

01:03:26

The questions are really great.

Lee

01:03:26

Lol

Gina

01:03:26

@brie hugs

Lizette Montesinos

01:03:30

I’m going through a separation and potential divorce and I feel so damaged and feel like I’ve lost my self worth and am afraid of how my future relationships would look like because I’ll be afraid to hurt them

Maliha Gangat

01:03:31

Oh no so sorry Brie

Jules

01:03:34

Wow

Iliana

01:03:37

yes good one!!!

Akua Reid

01:03:39

For me Vienna is very clear, can hear with no trouble

Natalie James

01:03:40

Alysha: Compromise deepens trust & intimacy.

jaimereyes

01:03:43

D

Ansam Shaik

01:03:46

great question !!!

Sho Eli

01:03:55

Yessssss!! I just went through this!

Elli

01:03:56

Brie, Same here sister. Sending love <3

Lisa

01:04:01

lol, yup

Maliha Gangat

01:04:04

YESSSSSSSSSS HES A FUQQBOI

Gina

01:04:06

Do actions and words align? That’s what you need to pay attention to.

Laura Taylor

01:04:06

Lol! Sack him off

Xima (See-ma) Grube

01:04:06

Same just went through this literally yesterday.

Leslie

01:04:07

Words versus actions

Melissa Malone

01:04:10

wow this is my experience, "see how it goes"

Leslie

01:04:12

Always

Pamela Pesek

01:04:12

sounds like hes good with his works

Jules

01:04:13

Omg! 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

Pamela Pesek

01:04:14

words

Amanda

01:04:15

This is me

Judy Dodd

01:04:15

me too.... he had anxious attachment

Xima (See-ma) Grube

01:04:16

Yep “its going too fast"

Roberto Madrigal

01:04:18

this is me

M Coopeer

01:04:19

saaaaame! but i didnt allow the space & be comfortable in it!!!

Susan

01:04:20

Ha!

Pamela Pesek

01:04:21

but doesn't follow through

Amanda

01:04:22

Help me

Amanda

01:04:23

lol

Bryana Intelisano

01:04:25

hes not ready

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:04:27

lol

alex

01:04:29

6 months?! He’s not into it

Gina

01:04:29

DO WORDS AND ACTIONS ALIGN

Luis Chou

01:04:29

lets just see where this goes...

Christina

01:04:30

going too fast then gets a gf after you

Ali Worley

01:04:30

Ha!

Tamara

01:04:30

Living this now

moniquesam

01:04:30

Holy crap this is what lead me to my toxic relationship

Hayley

01:04:31

Ughhhhhhhh

maya

01:04:31

he just not that into her

moniquesam

01:04:32

THISSSS

Lizette Montesinos

01:04:34

I ended up marrying that guy and now going through a dovorce

Ruth

01:04:35

Stop sex and let the stress tell

Luis Chou

01:04:35

lets not rush things...

Annie

01:04:37

And then 2 weeks later he dumped me

ileana

01:04:37

6 months and not sure???Is that normal!!!!????

Maliha Gangat

01:04:42

lmao

Tanishka Chawla

01:04:43

if you have voiced what bothers you, and he still doesn't make a change, gurl/boi LEAVE

Eileen Roche

01:04:43

Words = who we want to be vs actions = who they are

Siobhan Stofka

01:04:44

is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?

M Coopeer

01:04:45

I enjoy your company and I like you

Charley Thomas

01:04:46

100% my last relationship and then..."I don't think this is going any further than what it is now"

Tracey G

01:04:47

what about serial monogamists who marry, maybe even twice, get into long term relationships and appear to want commitment but never take a min in between relationships...

Maria

01:04:47

I’m Triggered

Maliha Gangat

01:04:50

Just stop sleeping with them and see how they act

Meghan M

01:04:50

actions speak louder than words

Ajo

01:04:50

I’m here for this!

Haley Leiter

01:04:53

YUUUUP just ended things with someone who I thought wanted a relationship, doing all the relationship ~things~ to find out we’re “not on the same page” months later… rough stuff

Natalie Blazevich

01:04:56

Hahahah maleeha that was the last guy I dated over the pandemic. Total fuckboiii

Siobhan Stofka

01:05:00

is it mostly women in this webinar, i wonder?

Sue Chapple

01:05:04

Maybe they don't realise they are unavailable until they are in a relationship. Happened to me recently.

Jenna Stajduhar

01:05:08

if their words and actions don't align.... there is your answer!

lisa shepard

01:05:09

F Boy! Been seeing one for 9 months!

Jules

01:05:18

Yes Mark that

Courtney Crispin

01:05:18

micro

sara-rosegarcia

01:05:22

Yeah!

Maliha Gangat

01:05:24

Yup NAT, been there done that.. never again lol , we gotta weed these losers out

Gina

01:05:24

THEY JUST ANSWERED THEIR OWN QUESTION

Avivi Huynh

01:05:25

pink flags

Katie Cavagnaro

01:05:27

Pink flags

M Coopeer

01:05:28

Yes Mark! Yeeeessss! yellow and red!!!

Leslie

01:05:30

Trust your gut and prioritize yourself

Nikki

01:05:33

my good friend didn't label the person she was dating until after a year into the relationship..she wanted to take it slow. They've now been together for 5 yrs and plan to propose next month.

Jen

01:05:34

It’s their actions we need to listen to

Jessica G

01:05:38

I call them red butterflies

Katie Branscum

01:05:39

This is literally every dating situation I’ve been in for the last 2 years

Sho Eli

01:05:44

I was just speaking to someone on an app who for a month was super sweet and said he wanted a relationship. As soon as we started texting, he got very sexual and when I called him out on the red flags that his actions didn't match his words and asked if he was being honest with what he wanted. I was met with silence and he never text me again.

Jessica G

01:05:49

I call them red butterflies

Catherine Davis

01:05:50

Like the fancy toothpicks you get in your club sandwich.....little red flags

Jenna

01:05:53

Communication right.

Bryana Intelisano

01:05:55

"pump the breaks"

Natalie Blazevich

01:05:56

Exactly! I feel like I’m so much more preparednow at weeding all those losers out! I don’t have time to waste

Dan

01:06:00

I’m in my 20s looking for only relationship no hookups and a girl on Tinder ghosted ME because I didn’t hookup on the first date 😂

Jules

01:06:01

Yeah give it time to see what happens, giving room for growth...made sense at the time

Kelsey Chapman

01:06:02

This has been a pattern for me too...I continue based on potential vs. current reality.

K

01:06:02

I notice I attract guys with mental health issues they’re not avoidant they’re more anxious and want love and because I’m an empath and work in psychology I try not to judge and give people chances- we all have mental health issues regardless but when I set boundaries and realize their mental health issues are unhealthy for me to stay I leave and they make me feel guilty for that but know I did the right thing- what can I do to not continue to attract these men ?

C. Slaughter

01:06:03

f*ckboi energy but it could be fear as well. You could be a spaceholder while he hopes for a stronger connection/attraction. Ugh, just left someone like this. he wouldn't admit he wasn't completely attracted to me but loved me as a person

Gina

01:06:03

@jen Actions AND words. Do they line up?

M Coopeer

01:06:10

lets take it slow & easy.....after 6 mths whats that mean??

Tamara

01:06:14

Ya it’s ok to give stuff time ...

Brigitte Bourque

01:06:16

omg tracy I get that

Bella A

01:06:27

lol

Leslie

01:06:29

You do not need to fear anything when you are your own partner and priority

Mia

01:06:33

I seen “how it went” for 9 months and whenwe got into a big argument, that’s when he decided to ask me because he was scared to lose me.We’re broken up now, and We still talk, but he’s told me that he feels less pressured to be in a relationship…..I’m trying to be gentle with myself for sticking around, even when I know it’s not my truth, I want to be in a romantic relationship woth him but it’s just different

Natalie Blazevich

01:06:36

After 3 months, if they don’t know if they want to be exclusive, I’m out lol

Ni

01:06:36

I feel like we usually know what’s up but don’t want to hear it.

Simona

01:06:37

sounds like passive reciprocation.. are you giving a lot and he's jut like "yeah ok". if you stopped giving time/attention/wtv would you never hear from him again?

Emilly Dubeau

01:06:38

My friend is seeing a guy who isn't divorced yet, isn't even separated...still living with his ex-wife, but she's CONVINCED he's "the one" and I'm like NO WAY! That's a HUGE red flag! Am I right??

Keri

01:06:38

over a year and it's let's give it another 6 months... lord

sanj

01:06:46

Your needs? Your standards? Your boundaries

Meghan M

01:06:55

@emily absolutely!!

Barbara Watkins

01:06:57

What about at 2 months

Tammara

01:06:58

Exactly!

Tana

01:07:00

agreed mark.

Amanda

01:07:01

What if they have been “committed” for almost a year and still doesn’t want to move forward but acts like it????

Tyson Wolbaum

01:07:02

If you are honest how can you tell if you are available/unavailable?

C. Slaughter

01:07:03

100% accurate @Leslie

Tamara

01:07:03

When is clarity expected

Jules

01:07:03

Thank you that’s affirming and helpful

Revinka Dias

01:07:05

how do we know how much time is enough :/

Tamara

01:07:07

3 months

Jen

01:07:08

That was me in my dating experience

Gina

01:07:10

Because someone could act like a boyfriend or girlfriend, but tell you straight up they don’t want a relationship.

C. Slaughter

01:07:11

That's what made it easy to leave

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

01:07:11

what about this same situation but at 4 months ?

Emilly Dubeau

01:07:14

they work together too!! it's so messy

Xima (See-ma) Grube

01:07:14

Barbara was thinking same with 3 months, I think I am going to give it another month and see how I FEEL

Karla

01:07:16

Can you be anxious about the relationship at 3 months?

Jenny Cruickshank

01:07:17

The clarity may be to be friends,,, truly just friends. not easy if you are the one who still wants more

Sarah K

01:07:17

I think 2 months is enough time

Charley Thomas

01:07:20

what about 4 1/2 after meeting parents/friends/attending cottages & wedding together LOL

Kim

01:07:25

Okay I am a woman and this may not be the popular answer, but why do you want a relationship with someone right away that you are still finding out about? Aren't we trying to see if they have the qualities we align ourselves with? Too much pressure to define it within 1-2 months? A lot of people ask me on the 2nd date what we are. I don't like that pressure. I want to be open and let it unfold

cherice

01:07:25

Yes same experience too with online dating

Judy Dodd

01:07:28

DING DING they dont know themselves

Dina Marie

01:07:29

His way of saying without saying, that he’s still looking for. Something better. Period

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:07:32

6 months is too long for this

Iliana Gerasimenko

01:07:38

I do believe people who know themselves and know what they want would be intentional about dating and relationships, because who has time to waste?

Ruth

01:07:40

Red butterflies 😂

El

01:07:44

the time you decide before meeting someone is enough. we’ve all seen how love works in healthy relationships. when someone wants you, they have no problems deciding this. This is what i’m heearing

Nikki

01:07:45

@Natalie I agree as well.. after 3 months not exclusive ✌

Tracey G

01:07:46

I think unless you've gone through therapy and grieved, even if you meet an amazing person, don't see how you can be available if you date when separated or just after a long-term relationship. I don't get it...mabybe I wish I could move on that quickly lol

Tanishka Chawla

01:07:51

agree Iliana!

Leah

01:07:51

18 months and haven’t even talked about the future…we are in a committed relationship but were both burned by ex husband & ex wife so I think we’re both scared to discuss…

ileana

01:07:54

Agree!!!!!!

Avalon Rehn

01:07:56

+1

Briane Agostinelli

01:07:56

YES!

Bryana Intelisano

01:07:57

yes

ileana

01:07:57

Agree

brendabasile

01:07:58

yup

MikeO

01:07:58

YES

jacquelynhope

01:07:59

exactly

Haley Leiter

01:07:59

THANK YOUUUU and I’m not asking them to propose!!!

ileana

01:07:59

Agree

Tara-lee

01:07:59

Yes!!

Debra Noble

01:08:00

YES

Veronique L

01:08:00

Thank you!!! YeS

Tammara

01:08:01

OMG YES!!!!

Christa Mariash

01:08:01

100!!!

Tana

01:08:01

@kim...I totally agree!

Natalie Haggar

01:08:02

PREACH!

Sarah Lehar

01:08:03

Amen

Lian Newallo

01:08:04

yes definitely

Rachel

01:08:04

yessssssssss

Eve

01:08:04

fk yesss

moniquesam

01:08:05

YESSS OBVIOUSLY

Ginger

01:08:05

YESSSSSSS

Kelsey Chapman

01:08:05

yes!

ileana

01:08:05

Hahahaha

Rebecca Tucker

01:08:06

YASSSSSSSS!!!

Christa Mariash

01:08:06

like get over yourself

elmiraziaei

01:08:06

YES

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:08:06

totally

Bryana Intelisano

01:08:06

just stating intentions

Annie

01:08:06

TELL MEN THAT

cherice

01:08:06

They say they want a relationship but then you find out either they are completely unavailable for a relationship or have no clue what they want

Jennifer

01:08:07

Yes

Jen G

01:08:08

yesss

Jimena gioino

01:08:09

guys think soooo

jacquelynhope

01:08:09

WORD

Gary Gottselig

01:08:09

hahah YESSS

Jen Leclaire

01:08:09

What if there are kids involved because of divorce? It’s complicated

Sujata Singhal

01:08:09

I feel like I keep meeting these types of people and sometimes I can’t help at 44 if I’m bringing that out in them…even though I know we can’t blame them. I grew up with parents who had an arranged marriage and very respectful and interdependent…it’s so confusing for me, because I don’t push and in fact sometimes the guy will be all hung ho and project it onto me

Stephanie LoPresti

01:08:10

Haha!

Maliha Gangat

01:08:11

YES LMAO

Natalie Blazevich

01:08:12

Yes!!!

cherice

01:08:12

So frustrating!!

Rhiannon

01:08:13

I think men assume they mean you right now!

Tara-lee

01:08:13

💯

Maliha Gangat

01:08:17

Gotta school THESE BOYS!!

Suhasini Sundaresan

01:08:18

I was in that sham relationship

Jennifer B

01:08:19

I had a guy ask me after a month "where is this going" freaked me the fuck out! 5 months later we still haven't defined it.

sanj

01:08:19

3 months - discovery phase. Some people may not be clear on what they want. If you are , move on ....

apriljones

01:08:21

agreed

Kassandra Sanchez

01:08:23

They don’t know that….they being men.

El

01:08:24

Men think we want to get married today. we don’t

Kim

01:08:28

Too much too soon comes off as needy and desparate

Corrine (she/hers)

01:08:34

It's also shows how much their fears are right at the front of everything.

Lisa

01:08:36

exactly

michelle

01:08:38

I feel like it’s okay to say that you’re looking for something serious and weed people out that way. However some people I am around think this is too much pressure..thoughts?

jaimereyes

01:08:40

My girlfriend and I last spoke (texted) on my birthday last month. She felt that the relationship became toxic because I haven’t healed from past relationships. Issues of abandonment and trust have haunted me. I know that I had instances of hurtful reaction rather than healthy responsiveness. During this past month, I’ve realized the wrong choices and I want to be better. Thing is, I’m still deeply in love with her and I don’t know where to go from here. Please help!!

Haley Leiter

01:08:42

Preachhhhhh

Yohanah

01:08:43

Oof

Dan

01:08:44

YES. Knowing the desired end result and endgame doesn’t mean you’re declaring it right here right now with that specific person, just being honest about the outcome you want.

Haley Leiter

01:08:45

So guilty of that

Jen

01:08:46

Yessss

Leslie

01:08:47

Yes Vienna!!

Jules

01:08:50

Yeeessss Vienna. Shape shifting uffff

Catherine Davis

01:08:50

It’s healthy to verbalize your end game goal, weed out the rookies to make room for a veteran

Alie D

01:08:51

The pace didn’t work for me for 7 years LOL

michelle

01:08:53

Omg yes tuning into ourselves is important and difficult

Gary Gottselig

01:08:53

YES.

Tracey G

01:08:54

It is irritating when people start romanticizing and tell you how they imagine a future, moving in...then as soon as it gets serious, or "normal" they become avoidant

cordeliasidijaya

01:08:59

yessss! thanks for that reminder :)

Alyse Goodacre

01:09:01

And having the self worth to check if it is working and bounce if it’s not

Amanda

01:09:05

Yes!!!!!! Amen!!!

Susan

01:09:05

I’m in a long distance relationship and the pace for me right now is perfect, slow and old fashioned after having a rough go

Leslie Aiza Morales

01:09:06

💯💯💯💯💯

Emma

01:09:06

I was dating someone who was ‘All In’ from the get go. We were very in Love, marriage, kids, moving in type of convos.. felt right & natural. We basically lived together & saw each other every day for 2 months. Then the closer & more intimate we got all of a sudden they started withdrawing & shutting down. I’m assuming this is avoidance. I’m curious your assessment. The relationship ended in what felt like ‘mid flight’ with them in total emotional shut down. And then they basically ghosted me & blocked me everywhere.

Andrea

01:09:06

We have to think do I LIKE THIS PERSON.. not do they like me

Jen G

01:09:06

I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not

katherine

01:09:07

He probably a Taurus ♉️ lol

Jennifer

01:09:08

Look inside yourself at all times

Ni

01:09:10

High five ✋

Tamara

01:09:12

Thank you

Lisa

01:09:17

yup yup

Deborah Morabito

01:09:20

yes!! always come back to what you want. What is in alignment with YOU. LOVE THIS.

Leslie

01:09:23

We are so programmed to focus on the other

Jen G

01:09:24

I feel like 3-4 months in guys know if they want you or not

Jen

01:09:25

100%

apriljones

01:09:27

thanks for that!

Leslie

01:09:31

Focus on yourself

apriljones

01:09:35

exactly!

M Coopeer

01:09:37

So - how should one safely communicate that to them?

Tammara

01:09:38

I needed to hear this!

Jenna Strusowski

01:09:39

Up your standards

Kandra Wooten

01:09:40

We have to be willing to accept that some people aren’t in the space that we are at or wanting….so hard.

Maria

01:09:40

Exactly

Celena

01:09:42

NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!!!

AMBER

01:09:42

what is your take on taking a break with your partner of 7 years or just relationship breaks in general

Jessica

01:09:42

Yes Vienna preachhhh!!!!

M Coopeer

01:09:48

because anxious - aggression

Luis Chou

01:09:48

what if I doubt about my own pace? what if I believe that im the one rushing things?

Yohanah

01:09:49

Dang ...

Stephanie LoPresti

01:09:50

Ahh, love that.

cherice

01:09:52

You should at least have the same intentions though from the begining of dating right? As in you are both looking for an actual relationship/partnership. Yes it takes time to build but the problem is people don't have true intentions

Maliha Gangat

01:09:53

Love it

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:09:53

Yessss don't abandon yourself

Viktoria

01:09:57

I love that! I never looked at it that way.

Tammy Loblick

01:09:58

Oh JaimeReyes that’s tough hun.

STTOWNING

01:10:00

wow! I get to think about myself? that's new to me

Rebecca Tucker

01:10:00

Self-tracking vs. Other tracking!

Pamela Pesek

01:10:02

I was just in this situation - we revisited 5 months down the road and he still said I don't know. you're 38 years old, figure it out

Jennifer

01:10:02

If I love me would I like this?

Eric C

01:10:04

Rhiannon T. P?

Amy Roth

01:10:04

That was HUGE! Does the pace work for me!

Tyson Wolbaum

01:10:12

why is time the unit to measure instead of connection?

Jen G

01:10:12

How do you know if someone is wasting your time?

Gina

01:10:12

Yeah, why do we worry so much about why someone’s gonna choose us? We should wonder whether or not we are gonna choose them, whether they are good enough for us!

Michelle Sohn

01:10:13

But as we check in we need to validate against norms?

Pamela Pesek

01:10:16

lets start adulting

lisa

01:10:16

isn’t the hard part here, tho, choosing between waiting longer with this person or going back to zero? they both feel like what we might not want

Maria

01:10:18

So many truth bombs here!

Kate Donahue

01:10:18

that's me!

Nicole

01:10:20

Is being a 30 year old virgin a red flag? Past emotional trauma that has been explored and worked through but is this a red flag for people? Do you need to tell other people?

Gary Gottselig

01:10:21

I need to learn this!!

Meghan M

01:10:21

amen vienna. what decision would I make if I was prioritizing what I wanted over what they want?

Jules

01:10:24

I practices all this that you described but tooo slowly last time...

sara balbas

01:10:25

❤️❤️

Gary Gottselig

01:10:25

Ready to learn this. :)

Leslie

01:10:26

Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself

Deborah Morabito

01:10:27

choosing and being chosen.. I feel like I am crushing all my short term relationships lol

Maliha Gangat

01:10:33

BEEN THERE DONE THAT LOL MEN JUST DRAG THEIR FEET….

Jen

01:10:35

Yesss feel into your power

Lake Tullis

01:10:35

Get your power back!!!

Jennifer

01:10:36

Inner validation not outward

Ashley Nation

01:10:38

That was my ex. Couldn’t have the convo to end it.

Lake Tullis

01:10:39

You get to chose

Pamela Pesek

01:10:43

and eff yes - I am awesome, if you don't see the value in me then that is your loss

apriljones

01:10:45

It’s about being 100% honest with what we want. Not playing games and verbalizing that!

Cindy

01:10:50

Instead of being focused on whether they like me... remind myself, do I even like them?

Pamela Pesek

01:10:55

bye!

Lake Tullis

01:10:55

It feels sogood@

Gina

01:11:00

Focus on choosing, not being chosen!!!

Catherine Davis

01:11:01

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Jennifer

01:11:02

No games be honest from the get go

Leslie

01:11:02

Own your power

Lisa

01:11:05

the sooner you end it, the sooner your back on the market. Hes wasting your time

C. Slaughter

01:11:05

Yup, I didn't wanna be another woman who didn't stick around and be what he needed. But I needed more. We were about a year in

Leslie

01:11:07

Yasssss

Maliha Gangat

01:11:09

HELLL TO THE YES ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU

stefanie.berger

01:11:09

Had to break up with my BF gf 9 months because we had diff paces. I’m 40 never married and want a kid, he’s been married and has kids. Hardest convo to have but needed it!!! Thank you for reminding me I made right decision

Sho Eli

01:11:10

Yep-- it's empowering to leave and choose yourself!!!

Gary Gottselig

01:11:10

Woohoo!! :)

Jenni Meskus

01:11:13

Yesss! Get your fucking power back!

Lindie

01:11:14

I’d love to hear you two speak about tips on how to heal after being in a relationship with gaslighting or emotional manipulation?

Jenna Stajduhar

01:11:15

I use this as part of my filtering process for dating- what are you looking for? what is your relationship desire? if their goals are not in alignment with mine, I move on. I do this before I even meet! huge help!

cherice

01:11:15

YES!!!

Xima (See-ma) Grube

01:11:15

Mark what did you mean - “when do our expectations become walls….”?

Rhiannon

01:11:21

Just did this! Gave him 6 months to settle and sort out his life. And still I was uncertain of where I stood. So I was like you know I think you should find somewhere else to live.

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:11:21

dont be small for them

Lisa

01:11:22

hes getting what he wants, but your not getting what you want

Alyse Goodacre

01:11:22

Oh I struggle with leaving!! And regret/ self doubt

Jennifer

01:11:22

Intuition tells you always

Laura

01:11:23

Biiig red flag I experienced earlier this month: after arguing for silly things, I discovered he texted an escort lady to meet (they didn’t meet). But just the fact to send or have this idea ... so disrespectful... and we’ve been dating for 8 months ...The prob is : trying to find the solution outside instead of within !

Sarah Krysalka

01:11:29

Oh that gets me - someone dragging someone along and letting things go dead because they don’t have the COURAGE to voice what they want/need/know

Katie Delgado

01:11:32

How do you know when you’ve healed enough after a breakup to start dating again?

mikaldobbins

01:11:34

Thank you for validating my choices!

Maliha Gangat

01:11:36

Love that mark

Revinka Dias

01:11:36

to love yourself enough to leave

Brooke Edgecombe

01:11:40

What Mark is saying now is so important. I never choose to leave and do it. Even if I know it’s not right.

Maliha Gangat

01:11:44

NO WE NEED ANOTHER HOUR’

Courtney Crispin

01:11:45

Wow this went by fast

Tana

01:11:46

yep. people show you who they are. Always. That's the ultimate tell.

Kandra Wooten

01:11:47

How do you get back out there in a healthy relationship - post bad relationship

Anastasia

01:11:53

sooooooo many red flags

Maretta Cooper

01:11:57

AND! Its OK! Dating is sorting!

Gina

01:11:59

BOI BYE

AFD

01:12:00

I loved your post on boundaries vs barriers. I did a screen shot and sent it to him. His barriers have worn me out. I’m done now.

Meghan M

01:12:00

mark deserves an oscar

Maliha Gangat

01:12:00

Lmao

Elli

01:12:01

There s a greek song that says the one who knows how to love knows how to break up. I used to hate up when growing up and denied it. Now I get it, and I say thanks

Tamika Hudson

01:12:01

Is this recorded because I missed most of this unfortunately

KARINA RYAN

01:12:01

This has been amazing!

Natalie Blazevich

01:12:02

Hahaha YES we need another hour! Or all night 😂

Eric C

01:12:11

Rhiannon are you from RI?!

Leslie

01:12:11

Absolutely

Maliha Gangat

01:12:12

This stuff is so juicy haha

Leslie

01:12:14

Move forward

Ashley Nation

01:12:15

Why do I keep chasing?

Sho Eli

01:12:15

Hahahahaha - Mark's story telling skills are on fire!!

Gina

01:12:15

BOI BYE

Brigitte Bourque

01:12:18

Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.

Jen G

01:12:18

That isn’t your guy! You can’t force someone to be ready for something

Dan

01:12:19

Oh god my standards were impossible. @Xina my expectations were impossible for anyone to meet. Massive WALLS. I’ve pushed away the most beautiful, kind, loving people because of 1 or 2 minor perceived flaws.

Lisa

01:12:20

yes, respect his wishes and see whose next

Katie Branscum

01:12:24

ummm this is my life right now

Alex Taschuk

01:12:25

lmao mark

Jennifer

01:12:27

Deep dive

Kristen Wynne

01:12:29

When there's a difference between words and actions...be curious. whew. All the feels there.

Natalie James

01:12:31

😅 let’s grope this one

Xima (See-ma) Grube

01:12:31

O00O0O0O0O0 Dan got it, that’s so helpful

Leslie

01:12:46

Always move forward stop waiting

Jennifer

01:12:57

Don’t chase

Rhiannon

01:12:59

Eric I'm in Australia

Ruth

01:13:03

Yesss !!!!

Corazon ♥️

01:13:03

agree on When action & words don't match be curious!

Leslie

01:13:09

Stop waiting to be chosen

Suhasini Sundaresan

01:13:10

it's exhausting

Leslie

01:13:13

Choose yourself

Catherine Davis

01:13:17

He needs to see this 👌 it’s been so informative

Sussie Mellstedt

01:13:19

Yes. When the word isn't align with their action... also Track record. What is the track of repeated behaviour. From past until now.. Can reveals a lot as well.

Brigitte Bourque

01:13:26

Tracy G. I had that. met a guy, who 10 days before moved out to his new house.. ended/ghosted then 2 weeks to a month was with another lady. saw him in the trails where I guess the day before seperated with that lady.. said was sorry the way it ended but said would nring me to his house. I was with that guy for a yr.

Kyi

01:13:26

Dated a guy who told me that I don’t understand him and his divorce and ended things with me. He pushed me away when his close got close to me. He always needed space and breaks. And yet I’m the one feeling like I did something wrong even though I know it’s him. Why do I feel this way?

Elli

01:13:30

Best advice I got: IF IT"S A MAYBe it's a no

Katie Branscum

01:13:33

This is what I’m experiencing right now and I’ve had to pull back to protect myself and honor myself so that I’m not presenting myself for him as a convenience when he really isn’t willing/able to commit

Natalie Blazevich

01:13:40

Omg Thats how I feel about matt Mahleea!

Melinda

01:13:45

Thanks for this, I need to hop off but look forward to watching the rest on the recording!

Maliha Gangat

01:13:48

yesssssss

abh majumdar

01:14:03

i confronted why u not available and went into no contact

Natalie Blazevich

01:14:05

*Maliha

Leslie

01:14:05

Give them space let them decide for themselves at their own time

Leslie

01:14:17

You do not need to help them

Leslie

01:14:24

You do not need to do it for them

Gina

01:14:24

If he doesn’t want to get married, he can’t meet your needs. Don’t waste your time anymore. You can’t change his mind.

Maliha Gangat

01:14:25

Haha all good. Struggle to have those tuff convo's

SB

01:14:27

Do you think it's okay to have someone facilitate the conversations that are tough? Like even early on. Agreeing to help each other grow regardless of the outcome.

Leslie

01:14:31

You do not need to hold their hand

Ashley Nation

01:14:32

Why do I feel I’m the cause of the ghosting. Like instead of them pulling away- maybe I pushed them away

abh majumdar

01:14:32

been doing that for 6 months ..

Bárbara

01:14:33

I’m not American or Canadian and I never understand the difference between seeing and dating. In Brazil there has to be a formal ask to address whether you’re in a relationship or not. Until that question is asked there are no strings attached what.

Laura Taylor

01:14:35

Agree - helping them with their trauma.

Leslie

01:14:36

They are an adult

Leslie

01:14:45

Let them grow!!

abh majumdar

01:14:51

verbally abused -- but won't openly tell u -- wold still call u

Natalie Blazevich

01:15:01

It sucks that he can’t have the convo with me. I know that’s how he feels. I’m so intuitive lol

Nikki

01:15:02

Dan you pushed away someone amazing bc of 1 or 2 flaws they had? is that what you're saying? 🤔

abh majumdar

01:15:06

as long as u don't confront them they will be ok

Haley Leiter

01:15:09

“We’re not here to solution things for other people” MANNNNN.. I needed to hear that

Mark (Toronto ON Canada)

01:15:14

All of this sounds like we need to have a doctorate in relating with each other. What about… just BE-ING in the moment with each other… loving ourselves in full Awareness. I’m feeling it is like walking on a time bomb…

Ashley Nation

01:15:19

And I hope for the best and continue chasing. Definitely being anxiously attached doesn’t help

Deborah Morabito

01:15:19

leaving space - epic.

Amanda

01:15:21

Also back to check in with you… if they don’t want marriage and you do then you know what your need to know.

Dan

01:15:25

@nikki Send me your IG name and I can message you after if you’d like. I’ve been following Mark & others for years trying to heal my FA pattern of attachment. I’m only in my 20s but becoming very aware of what was driving my previous relational failures and avoidance etc. so maybe it can help you understand your guy.

Leslie

01:15:29

Tacos!!!!!

abh majumdar

01:15:31

why don't they teach all this shit in scholl.

Leslie

01:15:34

Yay!!!!!

abh majumdar

01:15:34

schoolll

maya

01:15:35

TACOS LOL

Maliha Gangat

01:15:35

HE BETTER STAY FOR TACO;S lol

Catherine Davis

01:15:37

🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

jody

01:15:40

🌮💗💗

Amanda

01:15:41

😂🤣😂🤣 tacos ❤️❤️❤️

Natalie Blazevich

01:15:42

Bahahahaha

Nikki

01:15:46

IG: ndavila15

maya

01:15:48

i love the space concept

shannon

01:15:49

lol

Leslie

01:15:49

Burritos!!!!!

Nikki

01:15:49

thanks Dan

Gina

01:15:54

Tacos!!!!!

Leslie

01:15:59

Guacamole!!!!!

maya

01:16:03

how do you give space and protect yourself?

Jennifer

01:16:06

This is such a good webinar

abh majumdar

01:16:10

i like Tacos lol

maria

01:16:11

IG majcordova

Laura Taylor

01:16:12

That’s a deep connection conversation

averywilliams

01:16:22

btw happy pride month to all of my fellow rainbow babes

shannon

01:16:24

great webinar!

Laura

01:16:37

This was great! Thanks 🙏🏽

Natalie Blazevich

01:16:40

“I don’t believe in monogamy or marriage because everyone cheats”

Gina

01:16:43

Thanks @averywilliams! Demisexual here

Andrea Ishak

01:16:49

What if we try to communicate but the person always avoids communication even though everything he does shows intrest

Leslie

01:16:50

Let them grow!!

maria

01:16:50

happy pride month

Laura Taylor

01:16:59

Fuck that

Sally Reid

01:17:05

Can I also redefine the phrase “having children”

Laura Taylor

01:17:07

Haha

Leslie

01:17:13

Trust the universe

Kelsey Chapman

01:17:20

hahaha this is so great!

Leslie

01:17:25

Stop controlling your reality

shane

01:17:27

Mark you are the man

Tamara

01:17:33

Yes!!!

Brie Stoner

01:17:35

I am new to dating after healing from a divorce and I feel so confused by the breadcrumbing between dating apps and social media. I feel so confused by it and it feels like a flag land. I just can’t tell what is normal and what is red.

Maliha Gangat

01:17:39

@NAT the worst.

Jennifer

01:17:40

The universe has your back listen to it

Jules

01:17:41

Ha! Great analogy Mark 🌳🌲

Leslie

01:17:47

Let go and flow

Tamara

01:17:54

What happens when someone says we don’t see the world in the same ways !!

monika feth

01:17:55

Will there be a chance to see the replay. Yourwebinar is frozen( here in Canada ). Getting no sound

Michelle

01:17:59

Yes, Brie!

Veronique L

01:18:00

You are both so good, love this!!!! 🙌

Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3

01:18:07

@avery and @gina - I am demi/queer too <3 happy pride/wrath ;)

Bryana Intelisano

01:18:13

incredible webinar

Fiona Luke

01:18:18

You , I have to get ok with the uniqueness and difference of the other - and con i trust that that difference isn’t going to get bigger

Tamara

01:18:18

Like how do you explore that question

Gina

01:18:24

Yaaay @polly

Natalie Blazevich

01:18:26

@Maliha wish it could be different. Or wish I could do a hypnosis and remove him from my mind lol

Nikki

01:18:27

Leslie great book by Gabrielle Bernstein. Read most of her books!

Leslie

01:18:36

Love her

Natalie Blazevich

01:18:39

Hahaha that totally happened to me tho bc I said I wanted marriage and kids lmao

Jenna Stajduhar

01:18:43

@brie take Mark's dating course- LEGIT life changing!!

Maliha Gangat

01:18:47

Lmao I hear you.

Ajo

01:18:47

I need to define my words for marriage it’s so different from the norm

Ajo

01:18:50

Thank you

sara balbas

01:19:03

Will this recording be available for us to hear after and send to all of our friends

Gina

01:19:03

Question: The love of my life died in January. I’ve done a lot of healing, but I wonder if I’m hanging onto my grief because I’m terrified of getting back out into the dating world. Romanticizing what could have been makes me feel safe in a strange way. How do I tell the difference between true grief and avoidance in my behavior? How do I move beyond it?

monika feth

01:19:04

No video feed either 🙁

Leslie

01:19:04

Alignment

Elli

01:19:13

fortunately! that's what we're here for!

Dina Marie

01:19:14

Breakups are hard regardless. Have it legal aspects doesn’t make I harder emotionally, maybe he is just afraid of that level of commitment in general…that’s worth a talk

Maliha Gangat

01:19:17

Need to bump into grown up men but again, there are 40 - 50 year olds who aint ready!! :_

jsantamaria7349@sdsu.edu

01:19:18

Do you believe that if having an anxious attachment you can’t/shouldn’t be with an avoidant?

P

01:19:19

Relationship 101

Ashley Nation

01:19:19

Why do I keep pushing people away

Leslie

01:19:19

We love you so much

Dale Woods

01:19:21

thank you both for your time. it's been fantastic, ive made so many notes

Anastasia

01:19:23

someday maybe I'll learn lol

Joy William

01:19:24

Really enjoyed this. I have some learning and exploration to do. Thank you Mark and Vienna!

Debra Noble

01:19:24

thank you both!

sara-rosegarcia

01:19:24

Thank you!!

Rio

01:19:24

Thank u!!!

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:19:25

Thank you both

Sheri Salata

01:19:25

👏

Jenny Cruickshank

01:19:26

Thank you!!!!!!!!1

Christina

01:19:27

Thank you!

Tamara

01:19:27

Thank you sooo much

Rebecca Tucker

01:19:27

Thank you both!!!

Leslie

01:19:27

So grateful!!

Natalie James

01:19:27

Amazing guys!!

Sho Eli

01:19:28

Thank you!!!!!

Heidi

01:19:28

Thank you Mark & Vienna

Sussie Mellstedt

01:19:28

THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Jenna Strusowski

01:19:28

Thank you!

Maria

01:19:28

Thank you!!!!

Barbara Watkins

01:19:29

You guys are awesome!!

Ellen Price

01:19:29

I should be a red flag expert now!!

Kim

01:19:29

Thank you!!

Jax

01:19:29

Rematching! Thank you both! XO

Dayana Argoti

01:19:29

yaaay for recordings!

ynewton

01:19:30

Thank you!

shannon

01:19:30

thanks guy! awesome!

Natalie Fraser

01:19:30

Thank you both very interesting!

Sara

01:19:30

@gina. I am in the same boat

Megan Pounder

01:19:31

Thank you both so much for your time! :)

Ajo

01:19:31

Thank you both!! 💗💗💗🤸💗

Oliver Fecko

01:19:31

Thanks a lot!!!!

Gina

01:19:31

thank you 🙏🏻

María

01:19:31

Thank youuu

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:19:31

Amazing!!!!!!!

Patricia Birch

01:19:31

thank you!!

Rani Abiola

01:19:31

Thanks so much!

Elli

01:19:31

thank you both! <3

Jenna

01:19:32

Loved it!

Safiyah

01:19:32

If we wanted to explore some of these topics discussed today further, what are next steps?

L M

01:19:32

Thank you so much!

Lizzy

01:19:32

thank you, this could not have been better

Catherine Davis

01:19:32

Thank you 🙏

yvonne wagner

01:19:33

Thank you!,,,

Quincie

01:19:33

This was awesome!!!!!!

Judy Dodd

01:19:33

thank you

Jennifer Turner

01:19:33

Thank you!!!

Brittany Rizzo

01:19:33

Thank you

Casey (Casshawndra) Barber

01:19:34

Thank you!!!

Jenni Meskus

01:19:34

Thank you both!

Natalie Blazevich

01:19:35

Thank you so much!!

Steph

01:19:35

Thank you both!!!

Kate Donahue

01:19:35

this was so insightful. thank you!

Jenna

01:19:35

❤️❤️❤️

Christa Mariash

01:19:35

amazing work. thank you both.

tina

01:19:36

Thanks to both of you. Xxx

Danielle

01:19:36

You guys are awesome!!!!!! Thank you!!!

Queennie

01:19:36

Yay!

Ali Worley

01:19:37

Thank-you both.

Marc

01:19:38

Thanks!

Dena

01:19:38

Thank you!!

Jessica

01:19:38

thank you both! my two fave IG love gurus!

Bryana Intelisano

01:19:38

we need more!

Jan

01:19:38

Thanks so much

Becca

01:19:38

Thank you!

Suhasini Sundaresan

01:19:38

THANK YOUUUU

Linda

01:19:38

Thank you!

KARINA RYAN

01:19:39

Thank you <3 BOTH

Eric C

01:19:40

Thank you guys!

Nikki

01:19:40

I'm so sorry Gina..I can't imagine..🙏💖

Sarah Troy

01:19:40

Thank you both for such an informative session

Bryana Intelisano

01:19:40

loved

Anna

01:19:40

Thank you both for running this - excellent!

Cathy

01:19:40

Thank you so much :)

Kat

01:19:40

Thank you! ❤️

SB

01:19:40

link in chat?

Guergana

01:19:40

Thank you

Stace

01:19:41

I love you guys, follow you BOTH on Insta <3

Casey (Casshawndra) Barber

01:19:41

Thank you!!!!!

john

01:19:42

THANKS!!

Christina

01:19:42

don't goooo!!!!

Anastasia

01:19:42

thank you:) looking forward to watching the whole thing

Queennie

01:19:42

So insightful!

Kat

01:19:43

Thank you

Joanna Filipov

01:19:44

@mindfulmft

Ms. Justine

01:19:44

Thank you so much for this session <3

Tammara

01:19:45

Thank you both!!!

Viktoria

01:19:46

Thank you so much! Loved it!

Jenna

01:19:46

Thank you!!!

Rachel Fecteau

01:19:47

Thank you very much, I appreciate it very much

Melissa Malone

01:19:48

Thankful for this, THANK YOU

Joanna Filipov

01:19:48

@createthelove

María

01:19:48

Thank youuuu

Karla Gregory

01:19:48

thank you for giving me your time!

Yohanah

01:19:49

Join Mine’d guys

Maliha Gangat

01:19:49

I wished I was in NYC LOL

Stace

01:19:50

this has been insightful

Thalia Brito

01:19:52

Thank you both

jody

01:19:53

Thank you both .Mark ... are you going to have tacos 🌮 now ? 😂

Ellen Price

01:19:53

Thank you both so much!!

Megan

01:19:54

Much gratitude - be well!

Alex Taschuk

01:19:56

Thanks for this incredible webinar and your big GIVES to us. Love you both, thank you so so much <33333 Sending lots of love to all the beauties in this chat! <3

Leslie

01:19:56

Vienna is the best ever!!

Farrel

01:19:56

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today. Loved listening to this!

Rachel

01:19:56

thank you Marc and Vienna!!

Coreyposb

01:19:57

Thank you!

Jenna Stajduhar

01:19:59

Thank you, this was amazing!

Melissa Jara

01:19:59

Very insightful, thank you for your time!

Stace

01:20:00

thanks from Toronto, CANADA !!!

Joanna Filipov

01:20:00

http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/

Lian Newallo

01:20:01

thank you for this session! I am working on myself to heal using these topics raised

AFD

01:20:02

Thank you so much

Megan

01:20:03

Thank you!!!

Gina

01:20:05

Thank you, @Nikki

Nicole

01:20:06

Thank you so much for this <3

C. Slaughter

01:20:07

Thank you both. This has been so informative

Charity

01:20:08

Thank you 🙏

Joanna Filipov

01:20:10

https://createthelove.com/

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:20:11

The BEST thank you so gratful

Jasmine

01:20:11

thanks so much! this call had lots of great helpful information🙃

Tanishka Chawla

01:20:11

Thank you so much!

Atoosa

01:20:12

=Thank you both of you!

Laura Taylor

01:20:13

Thank you guys! Great chat

P

01:20:13

thank you

Robin

01:20:13

Thank you!

Diane Langille

01:20:14

thanks!😊

Jules

01:20:14

Thank you soooo much! This was incredible! Love Mine’dCongrats on the baby! ✨✨✨

Christina

01:20:14

love the mine'd app!!!

Taylor

01:20:14

thank you <3

Leslie

01:20:15

Mark is the best person!!

Sue Seely

01:20:17

Thank you Mark and Vienna, love and gratitude to you both!! Xoxo

Your Teacher Agneta Lindberg

01:20:17

Thanks so much 🙏

Brigitte Bourque

01:20:18

thank you

CAROLINE RAKUS-WOJCIECHOWSKI

01:20:18

thank you!

SB

01:20:18

Ty Joanna!

jennifer

01:20:23

Thank you so much from Sydney

Ni

01:20:23

Miss you. Happy to see you. 🥰

S

01:20:23

Thank you!!!

Alana Trevino

01:20:23

Thank you so much!!!

Jean Caprio

01:20:24

Thank you both!!!!

Courtney Crispin

01:20:24

Thank you!

K

01:20:26

Thank you!!

Sally Reid

01:20:26

Thank you!! This was eye opening

Nicole

01:20:27

Vienna you're so prettyyy

Kat OBryant

01:20:27

Thank you, Mark and Vienna!! 👊🏻

Gina

01:20:28

Love you Mark!!!

Joanna Filipov

01:20:28

https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/?hl=en

Jen

01:20:28

Thank you both!! 🙏

Corazon ♥️

01:20:29

thank you both ❤️❤️❤️

Mara

01:20:29

Thank you so much

Dale Woods

01:20:30

thank you so much

sara balbas

01:20:30

You two rock!! Thank you

Amy Roth

01:20:33

Thank you!!!!!

Caty

01:20:34

Thank you so much Mark and Vienna! Amazing thinking points :)

Theresa

01:20:37

taking that now!

Tamara

01:20:38

Mark waiting for your next seminar in Vancouver when it opens up

Leslie

01:20:38

You both are magic!!

Paulette

01:20:39

Thankyou !!! This was so helpful !!

Polly | she/they | @bedateable | <3

01:20:39

yesssss! yay for Dating 101! <3

MaryBeth Fitzgerald

01:20:40

Dating 101 YESSSSSS

Karla R

01:20:40

Thank you both!! Great session!! Mark you where my favorite!!

Amy Reyes

01:20:41

thank you!

Kate Donahue

01:20:42

still trying to get thru week 3 of dating 101 lol

doug

01:20:42

Ya boy 101

Joanna Filipov

01:20:43

https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/?hl=en

Tana

01:20:43

Thank you both!

Brie Stoner

01:20:43

Taking it now!

Nikki

01:20:44

thank you both for this great opportunity to be here 🙂

rachel (they/them)

01:20:45

thanks you two!

Brittany M

01:20:46

This was exactly what I needed to hear today, thank you both so much for this!!

Tiffany

01:20:46

Thank you!

Christina

01:20:46

Loved this!! Thanks!!

089346

01:20:47

DATING 101 is changing my "game"

Laura Taylor

01:20:47

Good night

Alisha Drimmie

01:20:47

thank you!!! ❤️🧡❤️🧡

aliciamcshane

01:20:47

Thanks so much!

Nicole

01:20:47

<3

Micheale Keenan -MDH-

01:20:47

thanks

Stace

01:20:47

Thanks!!!!!

Brooke Edgecombe

01:20:48

I am doing the wholeness course and it’s very enlightening.

apriljones

01:20:48

thank you!

Stephanie

01:20:48

Thank you

Diane Langille

01:20:48

you two are doing great

jacquelynhope

01:20:49

Thank you!!!

Chelsea

01:20:49

You guys are the best! 💛

Queennie

01:20:49

Thanks!

SB

01:20:49

best to you

Paulette

01:20:49

Love to you !!

Gina

01:20:49

DATING IS DOPE