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Webinar: Why It's Essential to Set Boundaries At Work - Shared screen with gallery view
Hakemia Jackson
45:33
Welcome everyone
Charisse Williams
45:46
ATL!!!!!
Gloria Bracy
45:46
San Diego
Jen Allen
45:46
Chicago!
Barrett White
45:47
Calling in from Chicago area
BOBBIE HILL
45:47
OHHIO
Eilish Vazquez
45:47
Virginia
Amy Kohler
45:48
Columbus OH
Ryan Rothenberg
45:48
Orlando!
Tonya Logan
45:48
Houston
Samantha Houston
45:48
Arlington, VA.
Sheri Conner
45:49
NYC
Alexis Street
45:49
Hello from Ann Arbor, Mi!
Demetrius Gary
45:50
Ann Arbor, MI
Andrea Fejes
45:50
Hello from Columbus, OH.
BOBBIE HILL
45:51
lol OH
Lorri Bernier
45:51
Michigan
Nicole Walter
45:51
Washington DC!
Bree Anthony
45:51
Indianapolis!
Frances Correa
45:51
Good afternoon from NYC
Mariel Zambelli
45:52
Rochester, NY!
Holly Quesinberry
45:52
Sacramento, CA
Lori Langrell
45:52
Good morning everyone from Diamond Bar CA
Elie Langevin
45:52
Montreal, QC
Katy McCormack
45:52
California
Christina Burke
45:52
Northern California, Chico
MAUREEN WESTFALL
45:53
Colorado
Melissa Myers
45:53
Pittsfield MA
Rosalind Cutchins
45:53
Virginia
Kaelyn Rains
45:53
Illinois!
Jessica Marabella
45:53
Los Angeles
Robb Howell
45:54
Welcome from Monterey Co, CA.
Audrey C
45:54
Dallas tx
Kelly Wright
45:54
Hi from Indianapolis
Laura Kluge
45:55
Pennsylvania
Natasha Coulter
45:55
Good morning! Joining from sacramento ca
Ann Zenisek
45:55
Hello Golden Colorado
Kimberly Ellswortg
45:55
VA
F Renee Morrison
45:55
Fort Wayne IN
Michelle Williams
45:55
Calgary AB Canada
Jessica Okeze
45:55
Hello Everyone!
Megan Marson
45:55
Greenville,SC
Jon Richards
45:55
Medford, Oregon!
Zainab Alez
45:56
hello everyone
Kelly Wildey
45:56
Upstate NY
Emma Dayton
45:56
Hello from San Francisco!
Connie Ray
45:56
Oklahoma
Michele Barregarye
45:56
Columbus, OH
Deana Cunningham
45:57
Graham, NC
Patricia Farrell-Cole
45:57
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Jennifer Koerner
45:57
Jacksonville Florida
Jamii Roberson
45:57
DC!!
Julie Karpinski
45:58
Kansas City
Lida Arguello
45:58
Hi, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Deborah Rector
45:58
Manitou Springs, Colorado
Kaci Roberts
45:58
Lancaster, PA
Mayra Avalos
45:58
California
Candace Duran
45:59
Good morning from Sacramento, CA
Joy Folkedal
45:59
Joy Reston VA
Vijen Ramisur
45:59
Hey Everyone, Vjen Here from South Africa
Elizabeth Walker
45:59
Hello from Memphis
Jessica Thatch
45:59
KCMO!
Amy Urbanek
45:59
Austin, TX
Rachel Pierce
45:59
Maryland
Christine Graves
45:59
Richmond, VA
Jessica Okeze
46:00
Laurel, M
Scott Rayho
46:00
St. Louis, MO
MEscobedo
46:00
San Antonio
Sarah Leach
46:00
Indiana
Susan Johnstone
46:01
Chandler, AZ
Glendisha Wells
46:01
florida
Lucy Karimi
46:01
Nairobi, Kenya
America Rodriguez
46:01
Los Angeles, CA
Albert arul Rajendran
46:01
Albert from india
April Vegtel
46:01
Los Angeles
Miriany Ramirez
46:02
Detroit, MI
Marissa Willner
46:02
Gainesville, FL
Shelby Mosel
46:02
Corvallis Oregon
Marria Brydon
46:02
OKC
Susan Gibson
46:02
Brantford, Ontario, CA
MaryEllen Cerbone
46:03
Dudley, Ma
Aggie Lewis
46:03
Los Gatos, CA
Doug Smith
46:03
CANADA
Nicoe Bell
46:03
Orlando, FL!
Jennifer Eliezer
46:04
Hi! Boston!
Amanda Sullivan
46:04
San Jose, CA
Leslie Reilly
46:04
Massachusetts
Elizabeth Runkle
46:04
North Carolina
Jamie Dalton
46:05
Greensboro NC
Dr Madan MS Aulakh
46:05
Hi Singapore
Mo Dimsey
46:06
VA
Wai Wong
46:06
hello from Toronto
Corren Lind
46:06
Colorado
Natasha Wahid
46:07
Hey y’all! Natasha from Blueboard, here 👋🏼 Dialling in from Vancouver today!
Peggy Eichinger
46:08
Waterloo Ontario
Patricia Krohmer
46:09
Chi-town
Varia Permyashkin
46:09
Pittsburgh!
Tiffany Malinaric
46:09
Montreal quebec
Karla Kissick
46:10
Alberta Canada
Colleen Rosson
46:10
North Idaho!!
Golbie Kamarei
46:11
SF
Natasha Caicedo
46:11
Tasha in Wall Street, NY!
BRITTANY SCHULTZ
46:11
Kansas City
Tezra Eubanks
46:12
Fayetteville, Arkansas!
Cory Alvis-Allen
46:12
Grants Pass, OR
Nancy Piatt
46:12
Lexington, KY
Christina Kennedy
46:13
New York!
Kylie Ensrud
46:14
Lincoln, NE
Josie McGillis
46:15
Carleton Place, ON, Canada
Donna Kirven
46:16
Bay Area, California
Hannah Martin
46:17
Seattle, WA
Betty Arsenault
46:17
Hello from Ontario, Canada
Tony Trujillo
46:18
Melbourne, FL
Christine Pangilinan
46:20
Edmonton, Canada
Lida Arguello
46:21
Canada
JOY GOSSEL
46:22
Edmonton, AB, Canada
Clara Martinez
46:23
Clara in beautiful St Petersburg FL
Laurie Ward
46:24
Laurie in Seattle
Sarah O'Conner
46:24
Athens, ga!
Kristina Branstetter
46:25
Virginia
Paul Hagerty
46:27
McKinney, TX
Mia Eriksson
46:27
Ottawa ON
Geralyn Klassen
46:28
Ottawa, ON, Canada
Cristian Gaymer
46:28
Santiago, Chile
Shawn Dilfield
46:28
Bucks County, PA
MAUREEN WESTFALL
46:29
Colorado Springs, CO
Amanda Mitchell
46:30
Dekalb, IL!
Donna Shott
46:30
Phoenix, AZ
Linette Rabsatt
46:31
Tortola, British Virgin Islands!
Cheryl Hills
46:32
Maryland!
Joanne Stebbins
46:32
Charleston, SC
Nancy Lewis
46:32
Charlotte, NC
Mackenzie Pennington
46:33
Hi from Kentucky!
Thomas Bentley
46:33
Tallahassee, FL. Go NOLES!!! :-)
Kathleen Dupaty
46:34
Kathleen, Bossier City, LA
PORTIA WATKINS
46:35
Greetings from Allentown PA
Marria Brydon
46:36
Oklahoma City, OK
Kristi Petersen
46:36
Hi from Akron, Ohio
Felicia Harmon
46:37
Michigan
Christina Welter
46:38
Altoona, Pa
Patricia Mathews
46:39
Sarasota, FL
Donna Bator
46:42
Dona Bator from Pennsylvania
Shria Tomlinson
46:45
Shria —The Bay Area
Carolyn Halpin
46:50
Howdy from San Antonio, TX
Marie Flournoy
46:50
Good morning from Chicago, IL
Cass Anderson (she/her)
46:51
UK
Zainab Alez
46:52
🇱🇾🇱🇾🇱🇾🇱🇾
Deborah Durda
46:55
Calgary, Canada
Shria Tomlinson
46:55
Near burn out
Karen Morrill-McClure
47:01
Burned out.
Katy McCormack
47:03
I have difficulty saying no to requests
Jamie Dalton
47:04
SOOOOOO TIRED
Courtney Berry
47:04
North Dakota
Sal Puma
47:06
Long Island NY
Audrey Gastelum
47:06
People keep stepping on my toes :/
Lorri Bernier
47:07
Burnout, staffing issues
Chasity Bailey
47:08
I'm a people pleaser and it gets me into trouble with boundaries
Lauren Rath
47:10
Avoid burnout and help managers empower themselves with boundaries!
Kaci Roberts
47:10
Tips to help take these concepts to the Executive level....my boss NEEDS this hard!!!
Tonya Logan
47:12
Exhaustion
April Vegtel
47:15
Need for empathy and compassion in the workplace
Annette Levean
47:15
I can't separate work & life anymore
Asuncion Dorotheo
47:15
always seeking greater balance
Emma Dayton
47:16
New to managing a team -- want to support my team in being healthy
Barrett White
47:18
Burn out after almost 2 years of crazy is pretty prevalent
Karen Morrill-McClure
47:18
Helping with returning to office
Amanda Mitchell
47:19
I'm a workaholic and want to know the best way to set boundaries
Nancy Lewis
47:20
Learn to set boundaries for me and my team
Cory Alvis-Allen
47:20
Don't want to go BACK to burn out!
Marissa Willner
47:21
New into HR Director role and wanting to discover new ways to support our employees
Patricia Mathews
47:21
So difficult to say NO
Susan Johnstone
47:24
Just trying to always to improve me.
Alyssa Mezebish
47:26
Feeling very unvalued, unappreciared
Rachel Pierce
47:26
trying to build more people skills for work
Jessica Thatch
47:27
Get underwater at every job and now realize it's ME :)
Brittany Buell
47:28
Was talking with other leadership on how to set boundaries and seemed timely.
MaryEllen Cerbone
47:29
Exhausted
Donna Kirven
47:29
Promoting well-being
Linette Rabsatt
47:29
I feel stressed with the systems and lack of resources
Deana Cunningham
47:29
I am struggling with my boundaries in general and I have a particular work situation with a direct report
Staci Lee
47:30
working with people who don't have boundaries but they have the same expectation for me
JOY GOSSEL
47:32
trying to help staff (health care) manage their boundaries with clients
Charisse Williams
47:33
Excited for new perspectives to share with my coaching clients!
Cass Anderson (she/her)
47:37
low resilience
Kevin Williamson
47:38
hard to switch off when working from home
Frances Correa
47:38
I find myself not logging off from work for hours after the work day is "over"
Nicoe Bell
47:39
Learning to say no and feeling comfortable with boundary setting /not feeling guilty saying NO
Joy Folkedal
47:40
Balancing passion for work and family life
Shawn Dilfield
47:40
Toxicity of promoting a "family" environment
Jon Richards
47:40
tips to help my team with burnout and to understand when to say no myself.
Annette Levean
47:41
Starting to believe the gaslighting.
Theresa Guy-Tippie
47:41
always feel like I need to do more and more and more and more until I explode
Candace Duran
47:42
Need to teach others about boundaries
Shria Tomlinson
47:44
People above me can’t say no and it rolls down hill
Kimberly Ellswortg
47:45
Feeling like a therapist at work and often perceived as being taken advantage of.
Thomas Bentley
47:46
I'm in leadership. I want my team to continue to get along. They work in cubicles & tight work spaces. Luckily they like each other & respect one another. :-)
Ivan Košalko
47:50
Setting boundaries is one of 7 leverage points for successful growth.
Alexis Street
47:52
I also want tips to help introverts in the office engage in meaningful ways that don't deplete their energy stores. Boundaries will absolutely help with that!
Jennifer Koerner
47:52
People from previous department sending me questions on how to do their work.
Kristi Petersen
47:53
Don't want company cell.... but team is calling my personal on nights/weekends!
PORTIA WATKINS
48:00
Burnout out and harder to say no with the growing workplace mental health and wellness issues
MAUREEN WESTFALL
48:04
Take tools to the Team. I am a health Care worker in Long Term Care. HEALTH CARE WORKERS ARE TIRED!
Paul Hagerty
48:06
Curious about how to create and get buy in to boundaries at work
Varia Permyashkin
48:08
Have to learn to set boundaries for myself before I can coach my direct reports
Andrea Fejes
48:08
I will be starting in a new role as an HRBP and want to learn how to better set boundaries as it's been a struggle in the past.
Andrew Ratzlaff
48:29
Salina, Kansas
Alexis Street
48:29
Hi @HakemiaJackson you are a gem! So, glad you are on this webinar!!
Amanda Sullivan
48:40
Here because I'm so impressed by Hakemia's voice and perspective, as well as to learn about how we help guide changes in our culture and boundaries at work from all the other wonderful speakers.
kate kowalski
48:43
I am finding the background music a bit distracting
Katy McCormack
48:49
<3 15Five!!!
Jamie Dalton
49:07
the music is making it hard to hear!
Gloria Bracy
49:13
I hear a lot of background music.
Nancy Piatt
49:17
music is distracting
Chasity Bailey
49:18
Agree background music is tough to focus
sami clements
49:18
It’s a little hard to hear who’s speaking vs the background music (sensory issues so I may be in the minority)
Sheri Conner
49:22
can we must the background music?
Joanne Stebbins
49:25
Can we turn off the background music. I can't focus on the speaker.
Betty Arsenault
49:29
I agree, the background music makes it very hard to hear clearly
Lida Arguello
49:30
I cant hear very clear I think because of the music background.
Tezra Eubanks
49:33
Yes, please mute the background music
Paul Hagerty
49:40
Please kill the music
kate kowalski
49:50
thank you!
Demetrius Gary
49:54
I liked the music... :(
Vanessa Rolle
49:54
Hi
Paul Hagerty
50:06
So much better, thank you
Natasha Wahid
50:17
@Demetrius a little more music for ya right now :)
Lida Arguello
50:22
👍 nice voice
Fatma Ghedira
50:24
Hello everyone and welcome 💛
Krista Mascia
51:00
beautiful!
Shria Tomlinson
51:12
Beautiful voice
houssem elheni
51:17
♥️
Charisse Williams
51:27
❤️
Mia Eriksson
51:27
What a lovely treat this is.
Natasha Wahid
51:32
Hearing these two makes me feel immediately grounded and present. The power of music. Anybody else?
Charisse Williams
51:40
Such a beautiful gift. YES
Shria Tomlinson
51:43
Agreed. Great way to start
Emma Dayton
51:51
Chills. This is beautiful. <3
Karen Mabry
51:52
So soothing…
Stacey Motley
52:00
Beautiful song ❤️
Lida Arguello
52:01
😍
Fatma Ghedira
52:13
Dani and Drew, a true soulful duo <3 I love this thank you for being here
Malissa McCrary
52:23
I wish they could start all of my work days!
April Vegtel
52:27
♥️
Simi O
52:35
Lovely:)
Candace Duran
52:38
❤️🎶☺️
Fatma Ghedira
52:39
@Malissa I am so with you
Shannan Mojica
52:54
Agreed! I want to start my day with this song moving forward! Thank you!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
52:59
@Malissa, agreed!
Shibu Cherian
52:59
So melodious!
Kaelyn Rains
53:08
I was not expecting this. But I'm loving it. Thank you.
Jen Allen
53:22
my dog is wagging her tail - we're both enjoying this!
Fatma Ghedira
53:29
yes we got you @Alexis
Fatma Ghedira
53:42
haha so happy to hear that @Jen :)
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
54:01
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
kate kowalski
54:03
**clapping**
Katy McCormack
54:06
👏
Donna Kirven
54:06
Snaps!!!!
Krista Mascia
54:07
👏
Joy Folkedal
54:08
I feel grateful for your music
Candace Duran
54:11
👏
Staci Lee
54:12
what a welcome treat!
Brittany Buell
54:12
👏
Yubia Iñiguez
54:12
👏🏼
Christina Kennedy
54:13
beautiful!
Kevin Yip
54:13
That was beautiful
Charisse Williams
54:14
👏
Chiara Luzzi
54:14
👏👏👏
Amy Williams
54:15
Beautiful!
Karen Morrill-McClure
54:15
👏👏👏
Lida Arguello
54:16
👏
Fatma Ghedira
54:16
@Alexis 💛
Shria Tomlinson
54:17
👏🏽
Charisse Williams
54:19
❤️
Oden Hughes
54:19
Wow! So grateful for that beautiful song! ❣️
PORTIA WATKINS
54:21
OMG - how lovely
Jon Richards
54:22
😍 Beautiful song, thank you!
Betty Arsenault
54:27
👏🏻
Karen Mabry
54:32
👏🏾
Joshua Randle
54:32
Amazing!!!
Shannan Mojica
54:34
Thank you so much! What a beautiful song!
Lisbeth McGonegal
54:34
Beautiful voice and music!
Demetrius Gary
54:42
THANK YOU!!!!! That was Great!
Katherine Botchev
54:44
👏
Safia Hibbert
54:46
Wow!! 👏
Marie Flournoy
54:54
👏 Thank you
Malissa McCrary
54:58
Yes!
Kimberly Ellswortg
55:01
YES YES YES
Linette Rabsatt
55:04
Yes! Yes!
Lisa Levinson
55:05
FOR SURE
Karen Morrill-McClure
55:05
Yup
Rebecca Fenerty
55:06
Absolutely!
Andrew Ratzlaff
55:07
🎩
April Vegtel
55:12
Yeessss! Every day all day
Melissa Myers
55:14
Working from home: Am I working from home or living at work?
Charisse Williams
55:16
I used to, which is why I became an entrepreneur!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
55:18
@Here, feel free to set your chat to “Everyone” so the whole group can see your chats!
Linette Rabsatt
55:19
Very frustrated!
Laura Olds
55:25
👏
Laura Olds
55:32
@Melissa we do both, alas....
Michelle Williams
55:32
Beautiful please drop a link where we can source your song.
Linette Rabsatt
55:51
I will be loyal to my boundaries!!!!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
55:58
Ooo, “permission to be loyal to your boundaries” Love that, Hakemia
Krista Mascia
56:14
👏
Golbie Kamarei
56:22
Love the truth that many are “more committed relationship to burnout”!
Fatma Ghedira
56:27
Please stay tuned with Dani and Drew on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/64Gi6TXqpD9euurn2QS7FB?si=bDYGjyikST6CKzXC1eJRWA
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
58:29
“My boundaries are good for me” <— This.
Lorri Bernier
59:00
@ Natasha YES
Lorri Bernier
59:09
The shame of it is deep
Staci Lee
59:41
boundaries = personal responsibility, thanks Asia!
Kylie Schamens
01:00:38
I absolutely relate and it's so hard to establish boundaries in corporate America.
Staci Lee
01:01:25
"no one ever gets 4 out of 4 stars on their performance review"
Fatma Ghedira
01:01:27
yes!! we all relate @Kylie it is embedded so deeply in our system to value productivity over the human
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:01:30
So many folks here mentioned burnout. 72%+ of working people in the States report burnout and it takes such a huge toll on us as individuals *and* company’s bottom lines frankly.
Fatma Ghedira
01:01:50
waw Natasha that statistic is staggering
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:02:26
@Kylie, yes, yes, yes. The system is designed to drive us to drain ourselves. I think boundary-setting is also part of dismantling the status quo and believing in something better.
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:03:02
Ooo @Kayla. This is important. I think leadership *modeling* healthy boundaries plays a HUGE role, here.
Golbie Kamarei
01:03:06
Loving this conversation. Well done to you all for talking responsibly about such complex topic.
Bob Bates
01:03:51
Hey Golbie!
Morgan Chaney
01:04:15
If we burn out, the work quality suffers. We should embrace doing higher quality work, and creating the spaces for that (focus time, reduced meetings, or more creative meeting spaces)
Jen Allen
01:04:19
I feel like we've gotten to a point where people who are working more are the ones who are recognized as high achieving so boundary-setting is so challenging in traditional performance structures and reward systems
Meriah Barnes
01:04:43
I find that setting boundaries is easy, saying no is the hard part. I’m trying to learn to say no. And that’s it, stop feeling like I need to give a reason why I say no. That’s noones business by mine.
Staci Lee
01:05:12
Exactly @ Jen! The connections between levels of burnout directly impacting a business' ROI is easily discounted or not considered
Morgan Chaney
01:05:13
And not apologizing for saying “no” Meriah! We may say no, but feel guilty for doing so
Lisa Levinson
01:05:17
Meriah Barnes -- That is exactly!!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:05:25
@Jen, this is a really powerful statement. And companies *need* to figure out how to celebrate employees for choosing health, for setting boundaries, for reinforcing those positive behaviors.
Christina Kennedy
01:05:34
Exactly Meriah! I share that challenge.
Fatma Ghedira
01:05:37
I agree @Meriah saying no is also a way of setting boundaries when the purpose is to take care of yourself and your team
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:05:46
One of the strategies we’ve seen really gain momentum are values based awards that celebrate employees for living company values.
Linette Rabsatt
01:05:50
lol on the dogs
Sathya Bush
01:06:04
We all need boundaries with our pets since working from home 😂
Natasha Cheatham
01:06:08
Spot on Meriah! I'm right there with you. I think something we don't talk about enough is accountability and boundaries in community building and collaboration.
Meriah Barnes
01:06:13
Boundaries with dogs, no such thing!
Amy Kohler
01:06:13
examples of boundaries?
Kylie Ensrud
01:06:14
It is also difficult when it is the lack of boundaries that got you to a successful spot (professionally).
Shria Tomlinson
01:06:32
Ditto to kylie
Natasha Cheatham
01:06:33
That's good too Kylie
Lorri Bernier
01:06:37
@ Amy, Yes I would like to know too
Fatma Ghedira
01:06:37
yep exactly @Kylie
Lisa Ong
01:06:39
Seeing role models to learn from leaders doing this is a great point
Nancy Piatt
01:06:47
how would you address a nurse who has been caring for COVID-19 patients? how would you coach him or her to set boundaries?
Shria Tomlinson
01:06:47
Can you address this
Morgan Chaney
01:06:50
Amy - one my team has embraced is no lunch meetings as a default. We need to protect that hour for ourselves.
Jessica Okeze
01:06:51
Sooooo many things to unlearn smh
Stacey Motley
01:06:52
The last job I had that consistently ignored my boundaries, led me to start my own company where I advise individuals and businesses on the importance of setting and respecting boundaries.
David Shaba
01:07:01
Great !
Kate Neligan
01:07:08
The challenge is often setting new boundaries once old habits are in place. I've seen people have a hard time adjusting to that. I have seen a friend set boundaries from Day 1 in corporate (i.e. no calls on vacation or after certain hours) and they have always respected her!
Charisse Williams
01:07:21
That's right. A boundary is not a one and done. You may have to TRAIN people in your boundaries.
Golbie Kamarei
01:07:31
Your point about under-represented groups potentially having a harder time advocating for their boundaries is also what I’ve observed. What guidance would you offer those who cannot relate to under-represented groups?
Maxine Penney
01:07:38
Great point! Find out what your boundaries are and then communicate them. Sometimes you don't know why someone is treating you the way they do at work however hopefully this exercise will help (me right now)
Stacey Motley
01:08:01
Happy, healthy employees lead to increased productivity and revenue growth.
Michael Carter
01:08:07
I set my boundaries during the interview and I've neve had any issues.
Sarah Frost
01:08:20
The book “It doesn’t have to be crazy at work” is so good on this topic
Kelly Wright
01:08:28
I feel like companies unintentionally send conflicting messages about boundaries. For example, the company may outwardly say they value healthy workers, but there is also an unspoken expectation for people to work beyond their boundaries to get everything done.
Natasha Cheatham
01:08:33
Period. @Stacey
Eva Su
01:08:34
leaders must also need to support setting boundaries for employees' wellbeings
Sarah Frost
01:08:48
Would love to have a list of companies that actually do support this and live by this
Jessica Okeze
01:08:53
Leaders also have to model what setting boundaries look like.
Karen Morrill-McClure
01:09:00
Exactly, @Kelly
Lisa Ong
01:09:06
@Golbie Kamerei, great point- I often hear their is a bias that BIPOC because of the risk as being seen as "not as dedicated" vs. holding boundaries.
Kylie Ensrud
01:09:12
It is also difficult when people have different "burnout" points. You may adhere to your boundaries, but then watch people with different boundaries excel forward
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:09:18
Peers can also really help each other, I think. As we learn how to set healthy boundaries, we can encourage others to do the same. And we can be aware of when we’re asking too much of our team and create space to invite our peers to advocate for their boundaries.
Elizabeth Benson
01:09:34
This is a great point, however, this requires leaders to do what they say and say what they do. Lead by example
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:09:35
Hakemia, yes. It’s a privilege to set boundaries. 100%.
Linette Rabsatt
01:09:44
What I find is that some of my colleagues are afternoon/evening people and they want to engage at that time - I on the other hand am a morning person and at the close of day- I want to close the day. So that's a struggle - they want to call when I'm picking up my children. I've stopped answering the calls
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:09:51
Yes, totally agree @Elizabeth
Natasha Cheatham
01:09:55
That's it Natasha.
Sal Puma
01:09:58
What about the "Silo" and Un-Silo" models? "Silo" is a new buss word. How does that fit with boundaries?
Sue Porter
01:09:58
As a “people pleaser”, I recognize that I don’t lay healthy boundaries. What are the first steps in CREATING - and not backing down - when we get pushback from those around us?
Janelle Mello-French
01:09:59
Learning boundaries in your personal life first makes learning and setting boundaries at work a whole lot easier!! Invest in yourself because it trickles into every aspect of your life. Therapy was my teacher and I'm incredibly grateful I had/have it in my life :)
Sarah Alexander
01:10:16
I feel like my sense of confidence to set my boundries is tied to how much I can battle imposter syndrome.
Bob Bates
01:10:20
Most of my experience with coaching clients, is that they are self-generating much of their own burnout and in fact, are not being driven by leaders to be out of balance. However, leaders also model the wrong behavior, often unconsciously. It’s typical for my executive clients to say something like “I don’t expect my employees to do what I’m doing”.
Chasity Bailey
01:10:25
Every time I have set a boundary I have been told that I am coming off "angry"
F Renee Morrison
01:10:30
I used the fact that I am in HR that I have to have some boundaries. So people did not take it personal.
Natasha Cheatham
01:10:49
This discussion + chat box is 🔥. Glad I tuned in.
Kylie Schamens
01:10:49
I'm not from a marginalized group per say, but I still struggle with my boundaries being received in my employment places.
Morgan Chaney
01:10:51
I remember turning down a vacation opportunity in my early 20s because I had just started a new job and felt guilty asking for the time off. My boss found out later, and was like, “you should have asked, I would have said yes!” When you’re younger, you definitely feel guilty taking time, and managers can help encourage their younger staff to take care of themselves.
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:10:54
That’s real, Aja. It is easier said than done.
Varia Permyashkin
01:11:14
It's disturbing that so many of us had to get sick in order to realize that we didn't have boundaries at work. For me, that was the lesson I needed to learn how to set mine.
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:11:38
Sam, we’ve heard this so much from our Clients. There’s such an extreme sense of responsibility for HR folks (and often People leaders)
Golbie Kamarei
01:12:13
Agree! Responsibly unpacking trauma at work is a next phase for wellbeing at work. Count me in for that convo!
Karen Morrill-McClure
01:12:17
For me, I am encouraged to take time but all the work and more is waiting when I get back, so I feel like I'm even further behind from taking time for myself.
Natasha Cheatham
01:12:35
Usually takes something major like illness/loss/pandemic to make you sit down & really see things for (crappy) they are. It's usually when we are most uncomfortable that we experience the most growth.
Laura Olds
01:12:39
@Karen - exactly! We don't receive support for the workload.
Natasha Cheatham
01:12:44
That was good Hakemia'
Fatma Ghedira
01:12:44
" does this environment serve me as much as I serve it" I love that Aja
Candace Duran
01:13:21
Natasha, I completely agree!
Golbie Kamarei
01:13:45
Spot on Zo. Well done - keep sharing your experience. The work world needs to hear from those who have been in psych work and corporate world.
Nancy Piatt
01:13:51
so how about some examples? how about some "how do I do this" suggestions and tips?
Natasha Cheatham
01:14:29
I hate I have to go. Have a great day everyone!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:14:41
Thanks so much Natasha. Have a great day!
Kaci Roberts
01:14:42
Yes, how do we begin these conversations with our managers and present it to the Executive level. It's all about starting the conversation, and some tips around what that looks like.
Maxine Penney
01:14:45
This is so important!
Kylie Schamens
01:14:57
Can you guys give examples of your boundary setting conversations and what you specifically say?
Shria Tomlinson
01:15:06
And some tips
Casey Ashenhurst
01:15:28
Read this book that has TONS of practical ways to outline and give language to all kinds of boundaries, in many contexts! Recommend https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095
Lisa McGuire
01:15:41
Yes, what Kylie asked...Please
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:15:42
Oo, thanks for sharing the book @Casey
Michelle Williams
01:15:55
I think that's the pitfall, communicating your boundaries when you are a partner to an organizational function supporting cross functional execution.
Nancy Piatt
01:16:01
And what "is" a boundary? Is it no phone calls after 5:00 p.m.? Is it no contact on vacation? It's not a "one-size fits all" world, so what works for one may be disastrous for another.
Jessica Okeze
01:16:12
Some tips on taking it from knowing I have to in my head to actually feeling like I deserve it and executing it would be great.
Kelly Wright
01:16:22
Thanks for sharing that book, @Casey!
Casey Ashenhurst
01:16:40
Apparently there is an accompanying workbook! (but there's a section at the end of every chapter of the other book with an exercise)https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Workbook-Practical-Understanding/dp/0593421485/ref=pd_lpo_1?pd_rd_i=0593421485&psc=1
Tianna Carter
01:17:08
Thank you for sharing these resources!
Maxine Penney
01:17:58
Yes, some examples please. I have a colleague that is aggressively ambitious and she triggers anxiety within my work day because my skillset is completely different. I also know the value she brings to our team and I'm scared of having that conversation with her because I don't want her to think I don't appreciate her. However now, she's really bulldozing and condescending; thinking that she's doing EVERYTHING when actually we are a team and I bring different things to the table. How would I set that boundary or remember my value?
Michelle Williams
01:18:17
That's helpful frame ZoWhat is the outcome of my participation of this work ?What is the need/use case.What does success look like?Do I have capacity to offer support?
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:18:33
^ Thanks for summarizing this, Michelle!
Jordan Boone
01:18:58
+! to Maxine's question
Meriah Barnes
01:19:01
You have to believe it and live it before others will respect it.
Stephanie McDonald
01:19:47
I'm in a small company and we wear multiple hats. There is little cross training/knowledge so sometimes the answer to a question or issue lies with a single person. I see how this is a real barrier to our ability to set boundaries but they really are out of control. Do you have any ideas or strategies in this particular scenario?
Jen Allen
01:20:11
yes, @Zo! we do a "personal user manual" to kick off new relationships and project teams
April Vegtel
01:20:22
I have been asking people these questions but I am finding that they don't know the answer. How do I help them find the answers so I can understand their boundaries better?
Varia Permyashkin
01:21:00
@Kylie, one example of my boundary-setting is no contact while I'm on vacation (even if it's a staycation). I delete all work apps from my phone when my vacation starts and also my Out Of Office message always says "I will not be checking emails while I'm on vacation and will reply when I return" along w/ contact information for those who can support while I'm out. When people see that you're SERIOUS about being offline/off the grid, they will usually respect that. If someone tries to contact me by phone while on vacation, I don't respond b/c it's a violation of that boundary.
Mia Eriksson
01:21:16
I like to remind myself that a company is actually NOT going to thank me for burning myself out. They will replace me we someone else and we will both lose.
Laura Olds
01:21:43
Yes Mia!
Varia Permyashkin
01:21:45
YES, Mia! ^
Michelle Williams
01:22:00
This chat is great!
Shirley Jackson
01:22:15
Totally agree Mia!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:22:26
Yes, Aja. Same.
Meriah Barnes
01:22:36
I live and die by my calendar.
Sathya Bush
01:22:42
Blocking out lunch and breaks, even as a salary employee, is so important
Michelle Williams
01:22:43
So true @Mia - and how quickly we can forget to wear our own oxygen mask first. The give and take of value.
Barrett White
01:22:54
I try to model being disconnected from work for my team when I'm on PTO, so they are pretty good about disconnecting when they need to.
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:22:57
“We all have a right to know what each other’s boundaries are.”
Grace Gordon
01:22:57
Love that Aja! Taking ownership of your boundaries. I use the calendar for that too.
Morgan Chaney
01:23:01
Yes, block that calendar and don’t feel pressured to move DNS blocks around, etc.
Nancy Piatt
01:23:09
seems to me we're talking about respect. respecting others' time, knowledge, contributions.
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:23:18
YES Aja. Just like consent.
Linette Rabsatt
01:23:31
@Nancy - Respect is key
Staci Lee
01:23:31
love this Aja!
Vijen Ramisur
01:23:46
Whatever happened to work-life balance. and employers promoting this concept. You know happier workfroce = more productive?
Kate Neligan
01:23:50
I feel like boundaries create clarity and clarity creates kindness because we know/aren't in unknown and knowing feels safer to most people :)
Kelly Wright
01:23:51
There's a great book about putting your oxygen mask on first in business -- Your Oxygen Mask First: 17 Habits to Help High Achievers Survive & Thrive in Leadership & Life
Amanda Sullivan
01:24:09
But for some it's less part of human experience, sometimes due to Emotional Intelligence levels. How do you show to folks who rarely prioritize an boundary/emotional-awareness in the workplace that this is important?
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:24:12
@Kate, I love that.
Nidia Rodriguez
01:24:19
Using out of office/unavailable auto responses is very helpful too.
Morgan Chaney
01:24:28
As a manager, I check in with my team at least a few times a year for group discussion around blocking time/creating boundaries for getting work done. We’ve adopted habits like the no meetings over lunch, no meetings Friday afternoons. Good for teams to discuss together and get aligned on how and when we do our best work.
Nancy Piatt
01:24:35
a long time ago we did "ground rules" on teams (intact and project). we came together, decided how we would work together, agreed to it, and then moved on. it was easy, accepted, and actually fun.
Linette Rabsatt
01:24:46
@Vijen - work/life balance - quickly been forgotten as we look for more profits not realizing we're not retaining employees
Grace Gordon
01:25:18
It's ok to remind team members...even leaders...when they are overstepping.
Karen Morrill-McClure
01:25:20
Our staff have very different work
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:25:37
@Nancy, I’ve done that in past roles, too! Establish communication ‘instruction manuals’ for each team member. I do find those exercises need refreshing and need to be surfaced fairly regularly to keep them effective.
Karen Morrill-McClure
01:25:43
work expectations and we've found it hard to agree on how we would work together.
Morgan Chaney
01:26:39
I love calling it a “need” - not a want, or a wish. Something you need to have in order to do your best work, show up as your best self at work.
Luis Navalpotro
01:27:25
The level of awareness/empathy of the other person should be at least in a level that understand what is a need/boundary to be able to respect it.
Varia Permyashkin
01:27:50
I liked Kevin's reminder that businesses are built to run like machines and we're forgetting that humans have to run them. Without taking care of the humans, the machines will fail sooner or later. Better to front-load that.
Grace Gordon
01:28:15
Yes - timing is important!
Michelle Williams
01:28:19
^ YES! Such a great call out by Kevin.
Sonja Norman
01:28:55
Timing is key to a successful conversation!
Nancy Piatt
01:29:02
so are examples
Sonja Norman
01:29:34
agreed.
Michelle Williams
01:30:05
And you are also not resigned that you limited your self expression.
Fatma Ghedira
01:30:09
such a great point Kevin!
Mia Eriksson
01:30:20
This is tricky for folks in HR, Kevin - we have a really hard time prioritizing our time over human needs and emergencies...
Staci Lee
01:30:34
yes @Mia
Sarah Bhairo
01:30:37
Agree with Mia
Nancy Piatt
01:30:40
good point Mia
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:30:49
To your point @Luis, when our boundaries are crossed or we’re at our breaking point, it can be easy to assume the other person is trying to overstep or harm us. Sometimes, frankly, the person is doing harm with no desire to change their behaviour. In other cases, that person is just as burnt out as we are and is in survival mode and if one of us can pause and hold space to allow a conversation about boundaries, that can be really helpful.
Deana Cunningham
01:30:49
Ditto Mia
Elizabeth Benson
01:30:49
I started to block my calendar for a lunch since I was getting booked all day on virtual meetings. Not everyone is respectful of this and it is especially challenging in the virtual environment
Eva Su
01:30:56
leaders must demonstrate respecting boundries, not call so called "urgent" meetings
Alyssa Mezebish
01:31:09
I plan to send the recording of this out to my entire staff!!!
Linette Rabsatt
01:31:17
I may have to do block the calendar but people still call - even when you say you're in training - even leading training. And I'm not the only person in my unit (rolling eyes)
Sharon Cory
01:31:18
So easy to ignore but so important to establish your needs
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:31:21
@Alyssa so glad to hear that!
Fatma Ghedira
01:31:33
@Eva I agree, urgent meetings are ways in which white supremacy shows up in the workplace
Velisa Gogins
01:31:43
Sooo true!! I don't think people realize how important it is to respect/create boundaries.
Michelle Williams
01:32:08
I've started blocking calendar time and marking as tentative so it's not a free space to squeeze in. I watch my calendar and say, am I at my max and can I choose to take on more. What's the impact to my energy.
Maxine Penney
01:32:21
@natasha - that's a great point, maybe someone isn't out to 'get you' and you're both working towards the same goal, you just need to have a conversation to align
Eva Su
01:32:23
is "urgent" really "urgent?" a lot of time is not
Nancy Piatt
01:32:31
time management and respect. urgent vs. important
Fatma Ghedira
01:32:38
💯
Sarah O'Conner
01:32:40
YES, Eva! I'm with you.
Linette Rabsatt
01:32:52
@Eva - on the urgent - AMEN. When you answer the call - they want their leave balance
Grace Gordon
01:32:53
Agreed.We must give ourselves permission to ignore/decline a meeting request or call if it's during a time we have blocked off for another reason.
Jen Allen
01:32:58
if you use Microsoft, it can automatically block focus times for you 1-2 weeks out and then you can move it as needed!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:33:01
@Mia, we hear this as well for folks in education, nursing, etc. Where taking care of humans is an explicit part of their role. I’d love to dig in more to the way “HR” is seen in the org and why it’s so difficult for folks in HR to choose themselves and how we can change that. As an industry.
Michelle Williams
01:33:18
Yes, love the Micosoft data
Stacey Motley
01:33:36
Leaders also need to stop asking/telling team members to change their plans for what they've determined is more urgent. So many people don't feel comfortable or safe in saying no what really is a second time (the scheduled time was the first "no").
Elizabeth Benson
01:33:38
6 Thinking Hats is a great concept
Velisa Gogins
01:33:41
Good stuff! Definitely something to share!!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:33:42
@Eva YES: Is urgent really urgent?
Mia Eriksson
01:34:29
@natasha - yep totally not unique to HR. All professions that serve humans, and the people who choose those jobs I am thinking...
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:34:41
If you’re curious about Blueboard, you can learn more about what we do here: https://www.blueboard.com/experiences
Deana Cunningham
01:35:14
@natahs@mia - librarian here. Definitely a problem on our end as well.
Nancy Piatt
01:35:18
cute doggy
Michelle Williams
01:35:32
Change Lead here
Grace Gordon
01:35:41
YES!
Bill Kennedy
01:35:42
Yes, self-care first. Protect your own mental health
Varia Permyashkin
01:36:00
As a leader, ensure that you are clearly communicating to your teams that IT IS OK to have personal lives and that I EXPECT them to tell me their boundaries, so that the rest of the team can respect them.
Meriah Barnes
01:36:02
HR lead by example.
Eva Su
01:36:10
I became best friend with our receptionists and they screened calls for me and really respect when I say "no call for 2 hours
Nancy Antoniou
01:36:11
love it, put your own oxygen mask first!
Amy Kohler
01:36:12
no boundaries=no limits. It's like a disease that spreads. just read that!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:36:25
And as you set your own boundaries, inviting others to do the same. So it becomes cultural.
Stacey Motley
01:36:29
Yes! @Meriah
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:36:51
Yes Zo!
Teresa Gray-Piper
01:37:43
I love that "Put your mask on first". Boundaries are all about respecting others time and space.
Zo Nicole (They/Them)
01:38:12
And keep checking in on the messages you’re telling yourself on WHY it is so hard. Are those messages of shame? Are you telling yourself your health and safety and sustainability is not as important as someone else’s? If so, that’s worth some deep personal work on.
Janelle Mello-French
01:38:12
This conversation is feeding my soul right now! Thank you all so much for your honesty and vulnerability <3
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:38:23
Oooof, Aja
Laura Olds
01:38:39
ack, Zo! right to the solar plexus...
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:38:49
And! I think as we practice, we get stronger and more resilient about the discomfort and rejection that might come
Creselle L. Dean
01:38:49
Hi from The Beautiful Islands of The Bahamas
Varia Permyashkin
01:38:50
So right, Zo!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:39:10
@Janelle, same! So glad you’re able to be here with us.
Meriah Barnes
01:39:22
Great idea Kevin!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:40:06
@Zo, this chat is so important. Asking ourselves why it’s so hard. Changing the internal narrative.
Creselle L. Dean
01:40:15
So sorry I am late...got the time confused...
Fatma Ghedira
01:40:17
🙌🏽
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:40:40
@Creselle, we’ll send out the recording!
Grace Gordon
01:40:48
Yes - Kevin. One step at a time...
Mary O'Callaghan
01:40:49
Thank you!
Jen Allen
01:40:58
thank you all!
Stacey Motley
01:41:03
"Support the people that are supporting the business." Exactly!
Grace Gordon
01:41:05
Thank you all!
Kathleen Dupaty
01:41:08
Thank you!
Deana Cunningham
01:41:14
Thank you!
Laura Olds
01:41:16
thanks for the ideas & encouragement!
Linette Rabsatt
01:41:16
Thank you very much for this session!!!
Amy Kohler
01:41:19
this has been great. Thank you.
Maxine Penney
01:41:22
THANK YOU!
Mia Eriksson
01:41:26
Loved this. Some great ideas to share and coach!
Amanda Sullivan
01:41:27
YES Hakemia!!!!
Creselle L. Dean
01:41:29
@Natasha, thank you very much
Candace Duran
01:41:30
Thank you!
Michelle Williams
01:41:30
SelfThank you!!!
Elizabeth Benson
01:41:32
Thank You!
Shelby Mosel
01:41:33
Thank you!!
Luis Navalpotro
01:41:33
Thank you!
Karen Morrill-McClure
01:41:34
Thank you!!!!
Morgan Chaney
01:41:35
Thanks all, loved this convo
Lorri Bernier
01:41:36
Thank you
Tonya Logan
01:41:36
Thank you for this impactful session!
Nancy Antoniou
01:41:36
thank you
Sathya Bush
01:41:37
Thank you!
Nancy Lewis
01:41:37
Thank you for your thoughts. This was helpful.
Bill Kennedy
01:41:38
Thank you all!
Michelle Williams
01:41:39
This was great!
Amy Williams
01:41:39
Thank you! This was incredibly helpful!!
Dr Madan MS Aulakh
01:41:40
Thank you all
Lindsey Gale
01:41:42
Great panel, thank you!
Monique Hunt
01:41:42
THANK YOU!!!
Candy Brown
01:41:43
Yeeessss!!!!
Teresa Gray-Piper
01:41:45
Thank you very much for this webinar.
Linette Rabsatt
01:41:45
Enjoy your day!
Katy McCormack
01:41:47
Thank you!
Robb Howell
01:41:47
Awesome session. Thank you all.
Sandra Greer-Sanders
01:41:48
Thank you!
Cheryl Hills
01:41:49
Thank you
Shannan Mojica
01:41:50
Thank you!
Brittany Buell
01:41:51
thank you!
Betty Arsenault
01:41:52
Thanks for the insight!
Sharon Cory
01:41:53
Thank you
Chiara Luzzi
01:41:54
thank you
Eulin Inverary-DeJonge
01:41:54
Thanks
houssem elheni
01:41:55
thankyou
Ismael Beltran
01:41:55
Thank you!
Natasha Wahid (she/her)
01:41:59
Thanks y’all so much!!
Vanessa Ware
01:42:00
Excellent!!!!
Scott Rayho
01:42:01
thanks
Velisa Gogins
01:42:03
Awesome!
Barrett White
01:42:03
Thanks so much!
Nicole Prawl
01:42:04
Great presentations!
Marie Flournoy
01:42:08
Thank you
Jeanne McRedmond
01:42:09
thanks
Dean Poblete
01:42:10
Thank you so much!
Candy Brown
01:42:12
Thank you guys so much
Ronnie Banerjee
01:42:16
Thank you Ronnie Banerjee seeking next permanent role
Kevin Williamson
01:42:23
thank you.